Where do I begin with a CSA claim?(8 Posts)
Also, look on the Money Saving Expert website. There is a great budget calculator there where you can work out your annual expenditure and convert it to monthly.
Then look at everything you buy and where you can make cutbacks, clothing being one obviously.
Report him to HMRC in the first instance. Once they look into it they will decide if he is running a business or not. If he is, they will make him pay tax. Once he has an income to assess you can go to CSA. CSA can't do anything while all he gets is benefits.
If your ex has earned over his personal tax allowance then HMRC will be very very interested in him. If they can prove he is buying stuff to sell then they will have him.
You arent going to get any more money from him. You need to accept that and start budgeting properly. Children need a roof over their head not fancy clothes.
It is annoying when non resident parents wont support their children but us parents who have exes like that just have to accept it.
I wish my ex was the other type of non resident parent who loved & supprted his child.
First thing u need to do is sit down with all ur bills & work out where ur money goes.
The problem with that is that you are being dragged into his life. His shortcomings will become your issues.
You realise that you have overspent with the money available - buying clothes you can't afford. It's up to you to sort it out .If you earn the money you can buy the clothes and not worry about the ex.
Go to Uni -as a single parent you get £3,000 in a lump 3x a year plus rent and council paid.
Go self employed - do gardening ,dog walking , ironing all doable with children at school.
Don't make him any part of your life - he's the children's father but the less you make your family about him and more about you the better in my book. Your children will have whatever relationship he allows. Be honest rather than bitter (ie daddy pays £5 a week so that pays for ballet but not a holiday) and live your life.
You have to report this. Ask for him to be re assessed. It will come back he is on benefits then you ask for an appeal, they will refuse it on the grounds he has not had a change of circumstances, then you ask for it to go to a tribuneral in front of a judge on the ground his lifestyle is not in line with benefits and you can present evidence you have (how do you know all this?). The CSA then gets more access to his lifestyle and can check where money is coming in and out from. He is not only denying his DC financial support he is breaking the law. The CSA told me that process themselves when I had a problem.
They will not only be cut, he will be prosecuted I expect. He earns hundreds or thousands of pounds a month from the auction site. Some has fraudulently claimed thousands of pounds over the last however many years as it is.
If you start a claim it will probably fall to you to prove he is working and it doesn't sound like you have a lot of evidence of that.
Any claim now would just result in what you are currently getting whilst he is on benefits.
Maybe the CSA wouldn't be interested but I'm sure the benefit fraud office would love to see links to his auction site but if he gets his benefits cut be prepared to lose your £5 a week. If he is forced to support himself he could go self employed and you'll have no hope as it's very easy for them to hide any income that way.
My children's father has only paid £5 a week for both children for the last 2 years (they are age 6 and 4).
He has said he wouldn't pay any if he could get away with it.
The money is deducted directly from his job seekers allowance. He has not been in employment for around 25 years, instead has always sold goods online, auction sites, etc. whilst claiming benefits, some fraudulent as he is perfectly physically, mentally, emotionally capable yet has somehow fiddled the disability allowance or whatever it is called :/
He makes a considerable income from this, selling anything from specialist electronics, car parts from classic cars he strips down to re-sell, and from police auctions, etc. but because he is a Hoarder, he has said he can get away with it by stating that he is just selling his own personal goods.
Which any investigation would have a hard time proving otherwise! He really is the sort of hoarder that piles items floor to ceiling with 5" walkways through rooms, and he has been living in his attic with no running hot water or cooking facilities for the last few years because he's run out of room. He refuses to install heating or hot water as he doesn't wash amd sleeps fully clothed in his sleepong bag on cold nights, so dont feel too sorry for him! I was going to correct that 'sleepong' to 'sleeping', but it's probably appropriate :D
I have struggled financially for the last 6 years on benefits, to the point of considering bankruptcy recently, and have also been evicted for rent arrears previously. Yes, bad budgeting, no, I have ever had sky tele, catalogue debts, don't smoke, drink, socialise, etc. just have not grown out of the habit of buying lovely Joules and Boden stuff for my children whilst unemployed and much of my benefit income for the last few years has had utility bills and rent arrears deducted at source,before it goes into my
Several times in the last few months my bank a/c has been at Nil. Literally. I can't get an overdraft on benefits.
So, I think it is time to ask their father for a bigger contribution. It was never my intention, I came from a DV relationship and fled when my youngest was just 4 weeks old so I have always known suggesting to him he can afford to help more would be stirring up a hornet's nest. His favourite phrase has always been, 'let the taxpayers fund you whilst you sit on your fat arse'. He really has no conscience about fiddling the system or helping to financially raise his own children. He also hasn't seen them for over a year.
But from what I read about the CSA they are hopeless so it may be a waste of time.
Considering he already has alibis for how he earns his income online (ie, he's just selling his own stuff so doesn't have to declare his income to the benefits people) it might note worth incurring his wrath over it. I doubt if sending the CSA a link to his current online auctions is any help as knowing how he's run it in the past, he'll be using a fake name and his friend's address, although presumably his Paypal will be linked to one of his bank accounts (he has two, one for benefits, one for sales).
We have been communicating through the auction site's messaging service recently so there's evidence therein he is their father as we are talking about them.
I am due to return to work this Autumn when youngest starts Reception. This was always my intention. I think I will need a little more financial assistance from their father then. Does it sound unreasonable?
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.