Abusive XP back in touch (child contact)

(14 Posts)
MindChanger Thu 11-Jul-13 20:20:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

betterthanever Thu 11-Jul-13 20:17:37

We are doing ok thanks OP. You could still suggest that you supervise contact if it went to court.

MindChanger Thu 11-Jul-13 19:48:55

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MindChanger Thu 11-Jul-13 19:48:01

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betterthanever Thu 11-Jul-13 09:56:06

Oh can I just add that when I got the first `strange' email I felt just as you did OP, the wording was `off' or `contrived' as I called it. Trust your instincts.

betterthanever Thu 11-Jul-13 09:54:19

Let him go down the legal route if he wants to. This is one case where the change to legal aid may help - I doubt he will pay for legal representation although he can self rep. I am in a similar position but 8 years after he left. My exp just managed to get legal aid before the cut off, I have to pay as I support my DS by working as well at emotionally. It is crippling me and my exp knows that. The courts are very biased towards the father it keeps them all in a job as these cases are long and there are many of them as the decent fathers would never have done what they did in the past and there would be no need for court. It is all wrong. My DS has been very distressed by it all - my exp cares not - he hasn't even asked how DS is and when I mention the distress he says I am lying. You have very good reasons for your descions and your DC will understand that when they are older. Please don't feel bullied by the `the child has a right to see thier father' brigade. If that was always the case there would be no needs for social services.

MindChanger Thu 11-Jul-13 07:02:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ladybird999 Thu 11-Jul-13 04:20:17

Sounds like a psychopath to me, have been in a very similar situation. Have complete mistrust of this person's motives, and his family, Who were happy to pressurise you while pregnant.

Told my children, you do have a daddy, he is very busy working. When very little. Then other little while lies, like am sure he loves you, but he is not very good at being a daddy. I had to prepare them for the unreliable, drunk and pathological liar he is. In a way he proved me right to be cautious, they have contact now, in their teens, once a year, by his choice, and they get birthday cards. The door is open now they are much older, but neither side has chosen to take it further.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 10-Jul-13 00:29:53

i had a wander over to relationships too. smile

MindChanger Tue 09-Jul-13 07:23:36

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BlackeyedSusan Tue 09-Jul-13 00:42:30

personally, i would ignore given the history of stalking. anything that may put you or your child at risk in future. he could look for your child/contact schools etc with the informtion he wants. if that is going to be a rrisk to dsafety, do not give it to him.

MindChanger Mon 08-Jul-13 22:34:48

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cjel Mon 08-Jul-13 22:27:40

I think you are right to ignore, as you say he doesn't even know that you use that email address. I don't know why he would want to know dds birth date, I would worry about his motives for asking that question it seems a bit odd to me.

MindChanger Mon 08-Jul-13 21:14:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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