Newly qualified lone parent - lack of juggling skills

(15 Posts)
corblimeymadam Tue 02-Jul-13 20:16:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 02-Jul-13 23:13:50

Poor you!

I've been at it now 2 years.

Don't forget- you are AMAZING! You work harder than anyone else you know.

Sometimes my friends complain about busy or overworked (the ones with no kids or helpful partners) and I just want to snort in their faces! Ha!

Treat yourself! It's all about the treats!

:-)

equinox Wed 03-Jul-13 06:18:16

I do understand. Currently my ex is seeing our son far far less than he used to and I am working a great deal harder than I did owing to the recession yet I am scarcely making ends meet. It all seems so hopeless right now. I have to last 6-7 weeks in between half-terms and school holidays with no help. My ex then sees our boy for around 6 days at the school breaks.

My health is suffering because of all this stress and I am always worrying about a lack of money which just exacerbates my health. I am joining a womens support group in the hope it will help. Luckily I have a miniscule amount of spare time in the working week as I am self-employed so do my own hours. I really do hope it will help me as I am at my wits end. Friends stop listening if they aren't single parents they seem to run out of patience and compassion. I feel I have nothing to look forward to!!

Snoopy is right it is all about the little treats my current favourite treat of choice is reading Hello magazine in any quieter moments before I drop off exhausted at night time!

SnoopyLovesYou Wed 03-Jul-13 16:19:28

My favourite treats are reading fashion magazines and self help books, monthly massages, really good food, nights away in guesthouses in nature with my dc, baths, nice Burts Bees lotions... :-D

You could get signed off sick for a week and take a break? Or take some al? But send the kids to nursery/school anyway I mean.

I have been a lp for nearly 2 years now. I got myself straight mainly by asking for help on here. Make a list of all the problems and tackle them one at a time. Fly lady stopped me going mental too!
Keep posting x

Chandras Thu 04-Jul-13 01:44:45

The list is a great idea. Flylady is wonderful too. Deal with items as they come too.

The key to survival as a single parent is routine and sleep.

It is when you are tired that everything goes out of shape. When things get bad at home I make a point of going to bed at the same time as DS, then I am awake at 4-5am and have 3 full hours to myself to do exercise, read, sort out the house and get ready before DS wakes up. It makes a huge difference to start the day relaxed and without hurries.

In terms of keeping the house tidy, remember always to tidy up the room every time you leave it. It keeps things under control.

Allocating a time in the week to cook for the full week helps a lot, it makes such a difference when you are tired after work to be able to open the fridge, pop something out and into the microwave and be ready to eat in 10 minutes.

Chandras Thu 04-Jul-13 01:48:56

oh and get the children involved too, you are a family and a team so make sure all the team members pull their weight. You don't say how old your children are but even young children enjoy separating clothes by colour to do the washing, you can get them to keep their room tidy if you persist, and eventually these little things will pay off, as you and your children become a team.

Having responsibilities around the house also makes wonders for their self esteem.

girliefriend Thu 04-Jul-13 10:58:03

Could you reduce your hours at work? I work p/t and can't imagine how much harder it would be to work f/t sad

You might find that working p/t you will then get some work/childrens tax credits so it evens out.

If you work f/t I would look at getting a cleaner.

freedom567 Thu 04-Jul-13 15:00:27

chin up....sorry for how you are feeling, and there will be days when it will improve....at least you've found here, and can feel that you are not alone
x

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 05-Jul-13 18:12:06

Can you get out one night a week? Pizza/cinema with a friend, perhaps a mutual babysitting arrangement or something? The break would help you a lot.

SnoopyLovesYou Sat 06-Jul-13 00:17:47

Chandras what you say about routine is so true. Think I need to start going to sleep really early again too!

What exercise do you manage to do at home? Yoga? Fitness videos?

Chandras Sun 07-Jul-13 10:00:21

Fitness videos, yoga, pilates mostly.

I also do them after putting DS to bed if am feeling tense after a difficult day at work.

SnoopyLovesYou Tue 09-Jul-13 16:08:48

Sounds great! :-)

ladybird999 Thu 11-Jul-13 03:54:52

Have been on my own for 14 years. In that time both my children have been diagnosed with autism. I am sure, the financial pressure, isolation, lack of sleep and sheer worry, have knocked many years off my life.
My health is beginning to suffer.

Have tried to live more in the moment. See every bill paid as a huge achievement. Try to worry less about keeping a tidy house, as long as it is not unhygienic. And hope that by being here for the children I can in some way make them feel loved and some way contribute to their future . There are no guarantees in life, my dice has been cast and we have to keep living and making each day work in our own way.

And the point about making sure we keep the ethos of a family going is very important. Keep saying; "we are in it together. I'll find a way, through this for us, I always do"....... Pretend to be strong even if you feel like a piece of c..p!

Oh ladybird that was an emotive post! Have a wine from me.
I think my philosophy now is to remind myself that whatever happens I was there for my kids. I'm no perfect houdewife and sometimes I'm v shouty but I am 100% present in my kids lives.

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