It's been a long, complicated and very trying time establishing 3yo DD's contact with her dad. The arrangement as it currently stands is EOW and alternate Mondays after pre-school until mid Tuesday morning.
He went through a period earlier in the year when he was bringing her back at 9/10 o'clock on a Saturday night because he couldn't get her to settle and go to sleep. On one occasion he summoned me back from my cousin's house 40 minutes away where I was meant to be spending the night.
He says she is asking for me and that she wants to come home and that if that's what she wants, she should be allowed to. If she's a bit under the weather, he says she should come home.
Yesterday he rang at 6pm saying she was crying and asking for me. He said she was ill and that I should go over there and pick her up. She'd been a bit snotty in the morning, but had managed a day at pre-school so it can't have been anything too dreadful (and wasn't). He left absolutely no room for negotiation, wouldn't listen to any of my suggestions. His mind was made up so I ended up going to pick her up. He lives 25 minutes away.
So my problem is basically this: if I refuse to go and get her or if I argue with him about it I feel like I'm being a neglectful mother. But at the same time she gets more and more confused about where she stands with him and he isn't doing any parenting. I ask him what he would do if I was away and couldn't get back but he never has an answer for that. If there were an emergency then of course I'd be there in a flash, but instead I'm changing plans, letting people down and losing sleep because he can't and won't deal with a 3 year old who doesn't want to go to bed.
I'm losing any empathy or sympathy I might ever have had for him because he just won't be consistant with her.
WWYD???
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Do you consider yourself to be 'on call' while DCs are with their dad?
5 replies
LeoTheLateBloomer · 02/07/2013 14:14
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