Ex taking me to court for joint residency of 2 yo, feeling very low, help please.

(29 Posts)
theitalianjob Tue 21-May-13 23:17:35

Hello

I'm not new here but it's been a long time. I had some incredible support here in the past & I'm feeling so alone & low & worried I'd really appreciate some help & advice from others who have been or are in the same situation please.

I have 3 dc's.. The older two (10&8) are from one ex & dd3 who is almost 2 and a half is from my recent p who I split up with 4 months ago after 4 years. There was long term arguments & unhappiness between us, he never fully accepted my other children & it got worse when we had our own child & I was the one to finally end it.

So I've lived alone with my 3 for 4 months now, which is fine, my older 2 are happier as am I. Ex-p & I went to mediation voluntarily & I thought it was going ok (he sees dd every Sunday 10-6 & Thurs 9-2) but out

I live alone now with the

jellybeans Fri 24-May-13 14:56:40

3xcookedchips, very wrong assumption. I said needs contact with both? But for small babies/infants when the mother has been main carer, regular contact with the other parent is a better option than 50/50 just for the sake of both parents have to have the same. I certainly don't think dads are bad, that was what you twisted it into. My DH was not allowed to see his father from a young baby as his mother was bitter about an affair. I have seen the effects and you can't make up for that absent time especially when DH only tracked him down in his mid 20s. I would not do that to my child and anyone who does that is very wrong..(excluding abuse obviously). So again I feel both parents are important and certainly regular contact with NRP but for very young babies/children 50/50 my not be in the best interests. Obviously there may be exceptions.

wonderingagain Fri 24-May-13 21:19:30

I'm always disappointed that when anyone asks for advice on here it's about law, or it's about how right they are or how wrong the partner is. It's rarely discussed in terms of what is best for the child.

Options need to be open, children should be consulted but decisions need to be made with an open mind as to what is best for the family as a whole.

NotaDisneyMum Sat 25-May-13 09:52:42

overnights at a new place should be built up.

Does that mean families with young children shouldn't move house, go on holiday or stay with relatives?

A child is perfectly capable of spending a night in a different home in the company of a familiar parent or carer - without having to 'build up' to it.

betterthanever Sat 25-May-13 10:50:35

When families move house the children still tend to have many familiar things around them inc. both parents, when they stay overnight with relatives it tends to have followed on from having spent time there during the day there, when they go on holiday they know it is temporary and in most cases have both parents there - even when they don't it is a temporary. That is not to say in some cases it could work for the off but it doesn't always work. My main point is how the legal action has been brought about it is not helpful for anyone. OP has not said over nights could not happen.

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