Why should I have to sort his effing father's day/ birthday stuff out?

(53 Posts)
RiotsNotDiets Tue 14-May-13 19:04:10

Split with ExH a couple of months ago, he has basically told me that we will still be buying/helping DD to make our birthday presents and mothers/fathers day presents.

I don't want to. When we were together, I always made loads of effort to come up with gift ideas that he would like and want to hold on to.
He always made half arsed efforts on the morning of the day and I'd end up with a straw sellotaped to a bog roll*. It's not really a tradition I want to keep up now that I don't have to.

I'd much rather on mothers day/ my birthday spend it together with DD and help her make me something or maybe asking my mum/sister/close friend to help her and I don't really want to sit there and help DD make him something meaningful when I know he won't bother reciprocating the time and effort I would put in.

I'm not exactly his biggest fan atm anyway, he was already shacked up with a new girlfriend a few weeks into the breakdown of our marriage and he's been putting his social life ahead of DD, planning nights out when he's supposed to have her overnight and turning up 3 hours late, hungover to pick her up. I'll have to tell him, I can't really send her round on his birthday without warning him that she won't have anything for him can I? Any tips on broaching the subject whilst avoiding murdering him confrontation?

*I know it's the thought that counts and of course I appreciate anything from DD.

SnoopyLovesYou Sun 19-May-13 11:53:50

I need a yoninickname-

I am shocked at your ex saying that. 'You shouldn't have bothered etc.' Shockingly hurtful behaviour!!!!!

IneedAyoniNickname Sun 19-May-13 18:25:35

Snoopy its one of the any reasons he's an ex! But yea it was hurtful and I was shocked that his new gf (who he'd been with about 2 months at the point) sees it as her job!

sparkleshine Mon 20-May-13 22:59:26

I think it depends on the relationship you have which obviously isn't a very good one and there is still bitterness between you.

Me and EXP dont get along all that well and he still pisses me off most of the time but we agreed when we split 2 yrs ago that we would both buy each other presents from DS. He's only 3 but he's always scribbled in the card and helped wrap up the presents. We dont spend a lot of money £15 ish. Obviously when DS is older he can do what he wants but at the moment this works for us despite that he has a fiancé now and I'm single.

Also at nursery they do a card for us and for other members of our families for celebrations. Don't know if that is something they would do at yours.

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