Two weeks into separating. 14 year relationship, two kids aged 5 and 7. I'm happy to be apart from him, I've wanted out for so long. But... his pain. I feel just so bad. I feel like I've ruined a man's life. I haven't cried once. He is crying every day. I feel wretched with guilt. . I'm certain I could ever have been intimate with him again and that was the cause of so much pain and frustration for both of us, like a dry rot in the relationship. I'm trying to do want I can. inviting him over all the time. Letting him be reallly angry and mean to me without raising to it. Making so much effort, but even that has a whole nother dimension of pain for him. I feel like I've destroyed a persons life. Is this normal to feel this way? Does it get any better?
Yes and yes to your questions. From experience, I split with an ex who sent me flowers and poetry (entirely out of character for him) every day for nearly I year. I felt so guilty and that I'd ruined his life. He is now very happily married. Sometimes people don't realise there is a better life out there. He will, given time. You have done the right thing, be strong and kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty, it will work out x