I feel for you. You still feel very trapped and controlled. You need to get proper legal advice check google for a lone parent help line near you. Can you find a sitter through an agency to get you out one evening a week. Learn sign language, do a knitting course. Something that will increase your confidence and help you make new friends. As to your daughter, the vast majority of kids who get assessed are not on the autistic spectrum and even if she is she is still the same girl as she was yesterday and last week. I'm sure you'll still love her and you will manage. You are not alone. There is tons of support out there you just have to look for it. Citizens advice and gingerbread will be able to point you in the right direction
Look and see if their are any local support groups in your area like Gingerbread or a local NAS (national autistic society) group. We go to a local NAS group and I've met some lovely people. If you have a children's centre nearby they can be a useful source of advice and can often signpost to groups, family activities, courses, crèches, etc.
Does your ex not have the dcs at all? That must be hard on them too.
If you haven't already I'd look at starting to legally sort out house, maintenance (can't you just call csa?), contact, etc.
Have you been to see a solicitor yet Meme? They can tell you what you are entitled too and give you support taking back control. You are entitled to financial support from him for bringing up your children and he should have contact to ensure the children maintain their relationship with him - giving you a bit of a break. You are not by yourself and things will get better.
Hi everyone I've been separated from hubby for just over a year now and I have 3 off the most wonderful kids. The problem is my ex was controlling so I have no friends my family don't live in my area and I don't get any time for me as I have my kids full time and I also work. My ex is still trying to controll me as he won't let me sell our house as their is a loan against the house for a business that he threw me out off, he won't see his kids or pay anything for them and loads off other things to make my life harder. My ds is now being assessed for autism and I'm finding it hard to deal with everything on my own. I just feel so alone and don't know what to do anymore.