Already have a DS. New partner wants his own kid. WWYD?

(2 Posts)
IneedAgoldenNickname Thu 21-Feb-13 13:09:06

Is he happy to stay together knowing it's only a maybe, and not for a few years yet?

targaryen24 Thu 21-Feb-13 11:07:42

I've only been with my new partner for a few months but it's become more serious lately and as I've already got my DS and have a good few years of studying ahead of me I felt it best to ask his view on children.

He said he'd really like one of his own at some point but wasn't sure if it was a dealbreaker.

The thing is, the further away from the baby stage I get, the more I really don't want anymore. Without going into detail, I had very bad AND/PND, a horrific birth, my body looks wrecked, my DS has clubfoot & is still having treatment & i'm studying for my degree as i'm on benefits & would no way in hell have another I couldn't pay for, so my DS will be 7 by the time I finish & i'll spend all my 20s & 30s doing the mummy thing. (Plus mum's bear the brunt of that first year anyway, due to childcare etc).

I'm not 100% against it but I'd happily not. I've explained the above to my partner. I already care about him greatly & he & my DS get on like a house on fire but I just worry that if I stay with him, I'll end up definitely not wanting any & he'll decide it actually is a dealbreaker -cue a steaming pie of 'should've seen that coming' & a sad DS.

Should I risk it, on him saying he'd like his own child but wouldn't necessarily leave a relationship over it? Wwyd? I don't want to make a selfish choice

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