I feel for you. My dc has never met the father so no direct experience on this. Did you live together as a family before the last 3 yrs? I would remind him of all the godd things in his life, and that it is not about rejection but that his dad unfortunately is a flawed person. I would normally never want to say a bad thing about an absent father, but your ds is 10, he can understand enough, and if I saw my child blaiming himself I will be tempted to shed some light on the father, that he is not able to care for people
My DS(10) has seen his father approx 4 times in the last 3 years. He hadn't seen him for 12 months at all but in November last year it was agreed that he could start seeing him monthly with a weekly phone call. So far he has seen him once in January. He keeps telling my son that he will email me to arrange details of the next visit but as yet there has been no email. I just feel so sad for my son. He can be a little tyke at times but under it all, he has a heart of gold and I hate seeing him hurt. To be honest, I wish he hadn't got back in contact. The phone calls are fairly sporadic too. Last week he didn't even call as his phone was "playing up".
How do you help your children get over this sort of rejection?