first post in "lone parents" im heartbroken

(5 Posts)
MySonIsMyWorld Sat 16-Feb-13 20:12:29

Ive called womens aid they advised me to give it another week to see if ex dp tries to get in contact to see ds if yes then go down the route of acess centres etc etc taking PR off him etc ....i feel so crushed thank you all for your lovley messages......

HerrenaHarridan Sat 16-Feb-13 19:01:38

Please call women's aid
0808 2000247. Their helpline is open 24 hours a day.
They can give you all the help you need.
Please be strong. You really do not need this man in your life. He will not get better, if you keep condoning his behaviour ( by staying with him) he will get worse and worse. Then one day your son will treat his wife as he is seeing his father treat you.
You will be much happier without him.
I really understand how you feel, pm me if you want to.
Please call women's aid x

betterthanever Sat 16-Feb-13 10:43:02

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Realistically you will not be able to take PR from him. I take it he is on the birth cert and that is how he has it as you are not married? Having PR does not give him the right to contact anyway. It maybe useful for you to get a residence order.
Supervised (not by you alone), regular, scheduled contact seems the way forward. If he doesn't turn up you will have a record and can demonstrate why contact stopped.
If possible please seek the advice already suggested and communicate with him through a solicitor. You have the right not to have direct contact with him.
You have every right not to have him at your home - at least he did leave. If he just turns up you can ring the police. I would not be letting him in if he is abusive and breaking things, you have the right to be safe.
Keep a log of everything esp. any abusive messages via the xbox.

Piemother Fri 15-Feb-13 22:57:14

I think you need professional advice my love. Contact your local women's aid or domestic abuse service and it a solicitor.

MySonIsMyWorld Fri 15-Feb-13 21:18:54

Hi all, well its been a week since i told "dp" to leave after 3 years of hell. Since we had our ds who is now 21months dp has been in and out in and out in and out of our lifes, he has been abusive towards me in the past but at the end of january he punched through the tv infront of our ds because ds was awake jumping on bed at 4.30am and he got pissed off about how much sleep he didnt get even thought he had to get up in 30mins anyway and didnt come to bed untill 2am because he been on his sodding xbox anyway i told him to leave and he went....
A week and abit has gone by and all he has done is sent me a message on xbox saying "when can i see ds?" so i replied if you think you can sit on your arse and message me on your xbox when can you see ds the answer is never my son deserves better than a twat like you since then ive heard nothing from him, he is back on sodding facebook talking to his ex from years ago!!!
I hate him for breaking my heart and doing it over and over but i still hope he will come knocking and say he loves me.....feel torn........

I feel now that he shouldnt have acess to my son as everytime he has walked he hasnt bothered with him at all, why should i let him near my baby when all he does is shout, break things and abuse me??

At the moment he hasnt come around or tried to see him but what should i have in place as a precaution.....i thought about taking parental responsibilitys off him because then he carnt take my son and not return him because he is a bastard like that... and because of the domestic violence i think i can do it....

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