Hello GirlWindmill, I can completely relate to how you are feeling right now. It's really hard, especially at this time of year I think. I send hugs.
I'm 11 weeks pregnant now and made the same difficult decision a few weeks ago. I'm 29; about to turn 30 at the beginning of January. I was sleeping with somebody who was in an open marriage (with kids already) but he should have been more careful with contraception and the morning after pill didn't work. Obviously he is not in a position to be involved and was desperate for me to have an abortion so that he could forget about the whole thing. Like you I have had three break-ups this year including a very long-term relationship. It does make you feel more emotionally fragile I think, and somehow at sea.
If I am honest I still have somewhat mixed feelings about it, but simply could not bring myself to have an abortion, and overall feel I have made the decision that was right if not easy (neither decision is easy, though, really). I had a big bleed at 9 weeks and the sense of relief that I felt when the sonographer scanned me and I saw a heartbeat and little waving arms was enormous. I am getting quite excited about meeting (and making!) a new little person. Life will just have to somehow accommodate all of this change!
Talking to friends and family really helped. My best friend has been a complete rock. I've moved back in with my mum (I knew I would need to do this soon in order to be able to afford to be off for a year of maternity leave). And - most importantly - I feel a bit less alone with it, and more aware of the emotional and practical support around me. Very very strangely, two of my ex partners have been tremendously supportive and there for me as friends. I was really surprised in a good way.
If you do decide that an abortion is the right choice for you, earlier is much much better and less traumatic than later. Perhaps it would be worth speaking to a counsellor about the situations and how you feel about the possible choices? I considered this but felt clear enough about my decision that I decided not to.
Sorry, I have written an essay here! Do feel free to message me privately; it sounds like our situations are so similar and I have had the same dilemma and there is no right answer but plenty of food for thought. I am trying to figure out the practical side of things now (eg rent in an expensive area, how to manage work/career/commute plus baby, how to deal with being single or dating etc - don't even ask! too funny!).
Big hugs xx