How to explain to 3yo that she won't see daddy again

(29 Posts)

Its breaking my heart but I don't know what to say to her.

The likelyhood is that she won't see her father again. She asks for him every day and I've been saying he's at work. She then asks what time is he coming home sad I've been saying I don't know but I can't keep fobbing her off.

Please does anyone have any idea how I can help her deal with this?

madam1mim Mon 26-Nov-12 22:11:26

spero , don't know f you have confused my post with someone else's but i nrvrt said i thought it was a good idea or that she would see him soon. i personally think that saying he is 'ill' would just confuse her as when she or mummy are ill they don't have to leave home. imagining her dad is poorly could conjur up scary thoughts and images too. i don't know the right answer but OPs dd is very young and has obviously Been through a lot. so whatever is explained to dd needs careful thought and consideration of her vulnerability . she wot just forget and get over it either, i know from experience. good luck to u and dd Op.

Spero Tue 27-Nov-12 07:17:27

No I didn't confuse your post - sorry, I didn't mean it to read as you advised to say she would see him soon as you clearly didn't. But all other options will cause her to be upset, I think the key here is trying to find the option that Is the best in the long term. So even if telling her he is not well is upsetting, I think that is less damaging in the long term than saying he is bad.

RedHelenB Tue 27-Nov-12 07:24:47

Since SS are the ones stipulating no contact I would imagine they will have ideas in place for appropriate ways to tell her she won't see her Dad again. Porr little mite, I doubt anything she is told will make much sense to her.

Theydeserve Tue 27-Nov-12 22:05:19

It is hard my eldest DC was 3 and eventually, the question of Daddy drove me mad and I said:

Daddy hasn't got his head on straight at the moment and he needs to screw it back on properly and that will take time - but he loves you.

This has stuck and whilst the questions are less after a year - I only get the occasional "has Daddy got his head screwed on yet"

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