feeling a bit lonely.

(126 Posts)
glitch Wed 17-Oct-12 23:05:42

that's it really. just wanted to tell someone before i go to bed and maybe then i won't dwell on it and wake up sad.
better day tomorrow hopefully.

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 23:22:01

Maybe I just need to go to bed earlier. 11.20 and the lonely feeling hits again.

AmIthatScary Fri 26-Oct-12 23:26:08

glitcj, if I lived near you (and had magical babysitter) i would take you out on the pull with me

Not that it's ever worked, but who knows

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 23:32:53

What a fab idea. A lonely lone parent pulling night out!

susiedaisy Fri 26-Oct-12 23:34:34

We'd eat them alive after a few drinks ( the men that is)smile

munkiboy1971 Fri 26-Oct-12 23:41:21

I'm single. (And a man). I find most of the women on here to be intelligent and funny and I too miss adult conversation. Work is a tough place to find someone and I am also skint most of the time. Although I don't have residency I still see my kids (i have 5) every weekend and most of my attention is on them during the week.
I have tried online dating and only got 1 response from someone. It didn't work out but I'm not sure I was really ready.
Is there anywhere on here that gets people together? The online dating sites are pretty scary places if you are just a normal person.

susiedaisy Fri 26-Oct-12 23:44:19

Welcome munki smile

lowercase Fri 26-Oct-12 23:55:55

Hi all...
Identify with loads that's been said, but generally am ok with being single/alone/sometimes lonely.
All the men I've dated have been pricks, same for all the other females I know! I kid you not!
Have heard about real men, and good husbands on mumsnet but not in RL.
I'm 2 years single, haven't been 'out', for so long I can't even remember, and maybe because I'm cynical I can't be bothered!
Had a great affirmation on my phone this morning " you are loved" ...

SoSweetAndSoCold Sat 27-Oct-12 00:04:24

Hi can I join?

I struggle with loneliness too. Sometimes I just want a hug, someone to make me a cup of tea, to have back the sense of security that someone has chosen to spend their life with me. I was in a relationship for nearly 20 years, so am so accustomed to living with that unquestioning sense of being loved by someone. I've been single now for about 2 years ish. I 'know' that I will be single forever, sometimes I feel at peace with that, sometimes I feel very bleak.

The way I try and cope with it is by changing my perspective on things. I can't change my relationship status but I can change the way I view it. It sounds simplistic, but it sometimes works wonderfully. Or should I say it works wonderfully when I have the mental energy for it, other times I just sink back into general yearning to be touched and loved by someone I love too. I seem to spend a lot of my time hugging cushions, sigh. But when I feel like this, I remind myself that for at least 50% of the time I feel totally reconciled with being single, and content with my life and that does help.

I've had CBT - can you tell grin.

Anyway, big hugs to all you lone(ly) parents out there, it is a bloody hard slog.

susiedaisy Sat 27-Oct-12 00:29:07

That's thing isn't it if someone said to me you will be single for xx amount of years but you will meet someone I could get on and enjoy my life more, knowing that eventually I would meet that person even if it wasn't for ten years, but the thought of possibly living the rest of my life as a single person is so overwhelming sad at times!

shuckleberryfinn Sat 27-Oct-12 16:18:30

Hey guys. It's been 3 months since STBXH left for good, 8 years of stuff not being done to the house. Essential maintenance stuff. So I've slowly started putting things to rights, very slowly. The heating has been serviced.

The hideous outdated built in wardrobes in my bedroom (I almost said our) were ripped out by me and a very satisfying crowbar last week. Today I started sorting out the massive pile of clothes (so far about 10 binliners of old clothes have been donated to charity) and managed to somehow bag up 3 binliners of his stuff. According to him he has everything.... I felt so sad and lonely bagging up our life like that. I just wanted to share that.

I really really want someone to spoon me tonight but instead I'll be wrapping the kids presents alone after work and then getting into my ridiculously large bed alone and I do not like it one bit, at least the rest of the week the kids are there to cuddle up to.

I am always ever so tempted to nip to the shop for wine to just make it easier but of course it doesnt. It just prolongs the sadness.

glitch Sat 27-Oct-12 18:21:42

Hello everyone. Hope Saturday isn't being too tricky a day for everyone. Mine is quite sad as my cat died. He was an old boy and it was his time but still sad. sad
Shuckleberry, your STBXH sounds very much like mine. He did nothing around the house at all. I'm hoping I can start putting things right too. What I really need is a man who can do stuff like that. grin

Online dating sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I am still optimistic that I will meet someone one day though.

susiedaisy Sat 27-Oct-12 18:30:03

Sorry to hear about your cat glitch sad

AmIthatScary Sat 27-Oct-12 20:53:13

Sorry about your cat Glitch. It's funny how empty the house is without them. Mine died a year ago and we still have moments when we miss him.

SoSweetAndSoCold Sat 27-Oct-12 21:22:42

Yes, the whole 'being single for eternity' thing is a bit crushing sometimes suzie. A crystal ball would be very useful smile.

Sorry about your cat glitch, it is really sad when that happens, they can be great company can't they?

shuckleberry I love sorting out house stuff, especially satisfying when you had a lazy ex who couldn't be bothered. This is one thing I love about being single, that you no longer have to engage in the whole resentful, who has done more work around the house, type nonsense that seems to occupy a large part of a marriage. These days I just mow my lawn and admire the end result, don't have to have pleading arguments to get him to do it, and eventually just give in and do it myself.

Did you have a nice day with your dd amI?

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 21:27:52

Hello - please can i join, too? I've been on my own for nearly 4 years now, and even though I love dd to bits, it's not the same as having someone there who wants to be there just because you're you, is it? I get terribly lonely and teary when on my own, but do the usual' Yes - I'm fine routine' when in public because unless you've been there, you don't really get it and all my mates are married or in relationships and I don't want them to feel sorry for me. Like as already has been said, it's the silly things like mugs of tea, or hearing an adult voice say 'Hello' when you come through the door, or laughing at something and being able to say 'did you see that?'? And I hate bedtimes. I married for the 1st time at 18 (i know, but it's what you did back then!), and other than about 6 months between exmkI & exmkII I only slept alone for about 6 months. The only advantage I have of sleeping alone is that I can cry there with no one to ask why, or roll over pissed off at me (neither ex's 'did' crying women....although both were pretty good at lowering my self esteem and making me....)
It was good to hear it's not just me that thinks that way re internet dating. I have so little belief in me having a relationship I really can't bring myself to go there, which in turn is a vicious circle of loneliness.
And Glitch, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat - me and mine have a love/get on like a teenager & parent relationship, and I'll miss the old rat bag so much when she goes

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 21:29:38

Sorry - I sound pathetic, don't I?sadblush

AmIthatScary Sat 27-Oct-12 21:34:44

No, you don't sound in the least bit pathetic, you sound totally normal smile

And thanks SoSweet we had a good day, I spent a fortune on her and we had a very lovely late lunch. And I didn't get at all teary at all the couples in the restaurant.

........and I'm not drinking tonight blush so won't get all maudlin

CremeEggThief Brazil Sat 27-Oct-12 21:39:22

Can I join too? I was left for an O.W. by STBXH in June, after 15 years together. Just me and DS (10) now, in an area we relocated to 3 years ago. No job, no family or very close friends, although people have been very kind and there are a few I can really open up to, when they have time for me. Most of the time, I'm fine on my own, but I have felt very lonely and down for the past few days. I wish I had some adult company one or two nights a week, even an hour or two would do. Not a lot really, but enough for me. Not sure why I've started feeling like this recently .Maybe it's because I'm finally starting to think past the one-day-at-a-time stage?

Very sorry about your cat, Glitch. My old girl is 14 now.

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 21:44:05

Thanks AmI, glad you had a good day.
I was recently made redundant (and that's another tale of what crap can happen to you when on your own with kids....) but was lucky enough to get another job straight away (although I'm seriously struggling to come to terms with it all, despite everyone being lovely), so used some of my redundancy money to buy myself a new car. But it's not the same when you don't have anyone to share the excitement, is it.......

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 21:46:21

That probably is why Creme, that's when it hit me, when the fog started to lift. I tell myself to remind myself to keep being kind to me....

CremeEggThief Brazil Sat 27-Oct-12 21:51:28

Thanks foslady. I just wish more of my family and close friends would even text me more often; just to let me know they're thinking of me sad. Going on holiday to Majorca with DS tomorrow and no-one has texted to wish us a good time, although a few have 'liked' it on Facebook. Suppose I should be glad of that, but it's not really the same.

Anyway, thanks for listening, and I'll be back next week.

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 22:03:57

Well you two have a fab time - you deserve it! (Know what you mean about contact from others, I rang someone close every night when it happened to them just so they heard another adult and could talk about anything......my phone stayed silent when it happened to me.....)

lowercase Sat 27-Oct-12 22:10:58

Have a lovely rest.
I was just daydreaming today, how lovely it would be to get the sun in our faces.
Don't forget to come back and tell us about it.
What a useful thread this is proving to be.

shuckleberryfinn Sat 27-Oct-12 22:26:31

I'm sorry for your loss Glitch.

Well I came home from work, walked through the kitchen door and was shocked that the house was exactly as I left it! it was a pleasant surprise. I think I am starting to get my head round being alone but I have caved and bought wine. I know it's no good in the long run but the thought of getting in that giant bed all alone, it just makes me want to cry.

foslady Sat 27-Oct-12 22:34:14

I still hug pillows.......

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