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Lone parents

feeling a bit lonely.

125 replies

glitch · 17/10/2012 23:05

that's it really. just wanted to tell someone before i go to bed and maybe then i won't dwell on it and wake up sad.
better day tomorrow hopefully.

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MakeItALarge · 17/10/2012 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitch · 18/10/2012 08:10

Thank you. Just an off day that's all. It just hits me sometimes that I am lonely and I'm not very good at talking about it in real life (I'm more of a stick a smile on and tell people I'm fine).

Anyway, another day, and the world is a brighter place.

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shuckleberryfinn · 18/10/2012 08:15

glitch I feel the same. Unbelievably lonely and the kids don't really count as company, you can't share your day with them in the same way. I too am a bit too good at putting a brave face on.

I'm assured it will get easier but in the meantime there's here.

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glitch · 18/10/2012 16:15

Gosh, yes, I think that's it, just having someone to hear how your day went. Someone who might care how you are feeling about things or just be there to talk things over with, have a laugh with, cry with.

I have found it quite upsetting that some people I thought were good friends haven't really bothered to see how I am. One of the dangers of putting a brave face on it I suppose.

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shuckleberryfinn · 19/10/2012 07:45

Hey glitch how've you been?

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glitch · 19/10/2012 08:25

Hi Shuckle,
Went a bit wobbly again last night, think I'm getting all bitter and twisted Grin
I have a friend coming to stay over the weekend so that will be great.

My MIL is troubling me as she used to help me quite a bit with DS and dog (my DM is hours away). I'm trying not to ask her too much so she doesn't feel like I am using her, but she just hasn't responded to my latest request. Feels a bit harsh and like I am being cut off or maybe I am just in poor me mode.

How are you doing?

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glitch · 19/10/2012 08:25

I nearly replied, I'm fine thanks!! GrinGrinGrin

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shuckleberryfinn · 20/10/2012 15:09

Bloody raging. I'm feeling all isolated and stuff. I've spent the last few days crowbarring out built in wardrobes. I wanted them out since we bought the place, 7 years ago... That really helped.

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susiedaisy · 20/10/2012 15:31

Hi op I can relate to feeling lonely, I have been single for nearly two years divorced for a year of that and have 2 dc and am spending another weekend around the house with dc and their friends traipsing in and out, I am rarely alone what with work and dc but feel increasingly lonely, I have a great family and a couple of good friends but they are all busy with their families and are no where to been seen on a weekend, its tricky isn't it, well actually it's down right bloody depressing at times !

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JayARC · 20/10/2012 15:39

Hello, really identify with the loneliness. My shoulders are really sore and my 8 year old's version of a shoulder rub isn't quite the same. Also have a couple of good friends miles away very busy, one cancelled on today as she had to go in to work. Thinking of trying the Citysocialising site - I long to make some new friends. Though my confidence is pretty shot, I haven't done much in the last years save raising my child and dodging illness, mine and my mum's. Glaring lack of company. Hope you are all faring ok this weekend.

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Sassybeast · 20/10/2012 17:58

Hate Saturdays - feels like the whole world is getting ready to hit the town!!!

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JayARC · 20/10/2012 21:34

Yes I hear you. All seems like times past, though logically I shouldn't think like that at 34! Things always change, we must remember this.

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Misslb88 · 20/10/2012 21:51

I know the feeling Sad ex walked away couldnt cope with the responsibility and whilst wouldnt change my son for the world i do miss just being able to go out when i want. Being in on a saturday nite alone isnt fun plus had an op on tuesday so been tough. At least us ladies have our beauties to keep us going and good ole mumsnet haha Grin

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er1507 · 20/10/2012 22:41

Aarrrrghhh I hate how Lonley I can feel. I quiet like my own company but sometimes rhe lonliness just gets a but too much. I work 2days a week, see my mum most days, go to some sort of play group every day and yet I feel Lonley. More than when I was on my own before dd. why is that?

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AmIthatScary · 20/10/2012 23:05

.
Oh God, love to you all, it is really lonely but we have no choice but to embrace it and be happy......or some such shit

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oopsadaisymaisy · 21/10/2012 20:44

I'm lonely too. I'm feeling really sorry for myself and really negative about life generally. I've been single for 8 years now and it's really hard to stay positive as much as I try. I used to feel outgoing and attractive but now I feel fat and dowdy, anti-social and incapable of having relationships generally. Where the flip did that come from :( I haven't had sex for 5 years too!!! Now that's just not natural :) Sorry, to be the voice of DOOOM.......

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zonedout · 21/10/2012 21:31

Another lonely person signing in here, too. It has hit me really badly tonight actually.

I suppose we, at least, know we aren't alone in our loneliness Hmm

I haven't been an LP for that long but am pretty much resigned to the fact that I will be single/alone forever Sad

I have 2ds's and spend most of the time absolutely shattered, especially by the evening. On the odd occasion I do go out with a friend (when they are with their dad, which I find incredibly tough in itself) we go out for dinner or to watch a movie which is hardly conducive. Besides, I wouldn't have the time or energy (or desire for that matter) to start a new relationship.

Added to which, like the op I just smile and get on with it, rarely complaining which probably doesn't help. I have quite a close friend who lives up the road and I feel so sad that she never includes me in her social stuff, especially when she knows I am alone Sad

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JayARC · 22/10/2012 17:00

Oh dear, sad to read that there are others feeling bleak too. Things do change, I am trying to hold on to that. Until something happens unexpectedly, like a friendship or social opportunity springing from nowhere, it seems so hard to remember that it happens. It won't happen by my walking over to the pub on my own, although there's an old man there who is always pleased to see me! Trying to think of some sort of group or something I could join, but for the life of me I can't think of an activity that would be a good idea. The investment in paying for it plus babysitting is prohibitive also....feel pretty trapped. I know what you mean, zonedout, there are a few people I know who could invite me/us round, but they don't. Single women are never invited out socially into families' weekend plans as often as couples with children, I find. Must think of something - these four walls are so bloody boring.

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susiedaisy · 22/10/2012 17:14

Yep another one here trying to think of a group or interest that I actually want to do that fits in with babysitting, shift work and having no money, something that's fun, and will get me meeting people of my own age!! Does such thing even exist??Hmm and I'm going to slap the next person who suggests volunteer work, I am shattered, i work in healthcare so am on my feet all day caring for others at work and then have 2dc and a home to run!! Digging ditches, repairing old walls and taking the elderly out on a day trip is not what I need!!Smile

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EiePie · 22/10/2012 19:58

Hi everyone, can I join? I've had such a bad day, each of my 3 DC's has played up one way or another, culminating in DD (11) being really nasty and 'pre-teen' ish. I have no one to tell what a shit day I've had and it's had me in tears this evening - something I don't do often. DD thinks it's all down to her (might let her carry on thinking that). I have friends but, as was posted earlier, tend to slap a smile on my face and carry on. Am on another thread and posted that I'd had a bad day - and my comments were totally ignored! Made me feel like the Mum in the playground when nobody is talking to her! Being alone stinks.

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JayARC · 22/10/2012 22:08

Poor you, that's a horrid feeling. I am hoping evenings alone sadly watching New Tricks in pyjamas aren't all I have ahead of me at 34. Going to sleep, so sad. Take care all.

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glitch · 23/10/2012 08:21

Oh gosh, not just me then!
I do quite like having time for me and enjoy not having to look after an unappreciative ex but I do miss having a friend around to talk to sometimes.

Perhaps the nights closing in are making things a little bleak for us all and the prospect of Christmas....

I have booked a holiday for half term next week and am way ahead with booking for next August too. Things to look forward to really help me I find. (Although holidays with just DS will be interesting!!)

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EiePie · 23/10/2012 18:28

JayARC Thanks. Was gutted when I turned over and realised I'm missed most of New Tricks! Was going to be the highlight of my day! And Glitch pleease don't mention the 'c' word! I'm feeling a bit better today (no idea why but I'll just accept it gratefully).

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JayARC · 23/10/2012 18:42

Glad you are having a better day Eie. At least Holby's on!. Things to look forward to do help. Though looking more than medium term I get this impending doom - that I will die impoverished and alone and this poky housing association property...will stick to being excited about watching Skyfall next week and having lunch with my dad! Must work on not assuming the worst. Jesus, I am a miserable cow.

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shuckleberryfinn · 23/10/2012 19:41

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! You guys, I did something today. I started the process of changing my name.

I've chosen my grandmothers maiden name just for me, it has meaning but doesn't have the sad connotations of my past identities. I feel really positive about it.

On the downside the kids stayed at their dads last night and my giant bed felt so empty. I miss spooning (more even than the forking)

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