feeling a bit lonely.

(126 Posts)
glitch Wed 17-Oct-12 23:05:42

that's it really. just wanted to tell someone before i go to bed and maybe then i won't dwell on it and wake up sad.
better day tomorrow hopefully.

shuckleberryfinn Tue 23-Oct-12 19:41:56

Heeeeeeeeeeeeee! You guys, I did something today. I started the process of changing my name.

I've chosen my grandmothers maiden name just for me, it has meaning but doesn't have the sad connotations of my past identities. I feel really positive about it.

On the downside the kids stayed at their dads last night and my giant bed felt so empty. I miss spooning (more even than the forking)

Hey, can I join please? It always amazes me how I can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. It would be really nice to come home and have someone make me a coffee.... Sadly, tuesdays are my favourite night of the week, holby night!

My son caught me talking to one of the cats last week, when I admitted that I was indeed talking to the cat he declared me a sad old cat woman (I'm 37 hhmmm) My sons have said they are going to buy me lots of cats when they leave home so I'll have some company!

Seriously though, I can see so many benefits for being single, doesnt stop the loneliness though. I dont even want to live with a man, you'd think this would make me ideal gf material...apparently not. I might have to slap the next person who says "It will happen when you least expect it"......

mrsmcv Tue 23-Oct-12 20:25:43

boo lonely too. not had sex in 7 years! still feel like going out and dancing and going to bars etc and have all the childcare I could ask for, thanks to persistent ex and his never-ending court orders but no-one to play with. Perhaps I should get dd to organise me some play dates for a change?!

mrskitten Wed 24-Oct-12 13:41:36

Hello all

I'm yet another lonely miserable LP! I've only been on my own since August and seemed to be coping marvellously until last month when it all just seemed to come unravelled. I feel like I'm well rid of my ex, but just feel so isolated. I really don't have any friends at all and my children are often the only people I have any human contact with. I go to exercise classes and a book club to try and get out a bit. I didn't know about the citysocialising site, so might have a to on that, but I'm feeling so crap at the moment that it's very hard to be engaging and captivating!

susiedaisy Wed 24-Oct-12 13:45:36

And if im being honest i miss sex, not the crappy sex i had when i was unhappily married, but good sex, its been way too long!!

happyatlast Wed 24-Oct-12 14:29:40

Eiepie...just wanted to say, you've just pretty much decribed my life, 3 children eldest being my dd who is 13 in 2 weeks, an 8 year ld ds and a 2 year old dd. I too am not invited along to anything with friends, they all have couples nights, I dont get invited. sad

Playground thing too, I get ignored totally. Also I commented on my facebook about how shit my day had been the other day, no one responded, yet someone put on facebook how they have brought some new shoes and they had like 20 something comments???

Made me cry that did. I feel totally alone, been single nearly two years. I never get to go out cos I quite simply cant afford. I cant ever imagine a situation where I would ever meet anyone. I really dont want to go down the dating site road but I feel so bloody lonely. I have absolutely no one to talk too. sad

I work part time but the staff where I work dont want to hear me winging, they are not friends, they are work colleagues, yes I have a laugh with them but thats as far as it goes.

Just fed up...I should change my name. hmm

I tried to write a really long post on this thread the other day, spent ten minutes writing everything I thought, went to post it and it failed and I lost the whole thing....typical for me that, needless to say that made me cry a little and laugh a little too at just how bloody shit things are at the moment that when i actually try to talk to other people who are feeling the same way, it goes tits up so to speak. hmm

JayARC Wed 24-Oct-12 14:42:38

Happyatlast, sometimes it does just feel like everyone's out to get you, or don't care - I suspect mainly they are just getting on with their own lives and don't read that much into it, and it isn't personal. But I totally identify with everything seeming to be against you, down to a post being deleted or a Facebook lack of response. (I can't do Facebook any more, deleted account ages ago).

I agree about dating online - couldn't do that again! On a good (delusional) day, I think that someone nice might just turn up somewhere. But if I don't go anywhere, how on Earth?!

I'm going to try a free Citysocialising night not too far away in November. A neighbour's daughter is hopefully going to babysit. I am hoping it's a low key way of meeting some people my age. Round where I live there are lots of wealthy retired people, and wealthy married people. I live on a perfectly pleasant housing association estate and am the exception in many ways, which makes me feel more left out, really. My neighbours are OK, but there's noone I've gelled with at all. And it's that classic thing of stopping myself doing things that might help as I don't have the confidence in myself any more.

I am so sorry to hear things are so tough for you at the moment. And others. It can be miserable when it seems like there is noone to listen. Well, I can listen on here, and others are listening, if that helps just a little bit. Wish I could offer solutions - I really wish I could.

susiedaisy Wed 24-Oct-12 14:56:35

Online dating is a sure fire way of lowering your self esteem IMO I did it for a while after being encouraged by well meaning work colleagues and found myself either being ignored, winked at by men old enough to be my father/grandfather or pestered by men looking for 'fun'! Not once did I have a decent conversation with anyone genuine!

JayARC Wed 24-Oct-12 15:26:47

Exactly. Which is why I am hoping I meet some nice single bloke out walking the dog! Hmm...not likely!

mrsmcv Wed 24-Oct-12 21:14:53

online dating! urgh. yes, lowered my self esteem all the way to the bottom. I did go on a couple of dates but realised that whatever function makes you find blokes fascinating and giggle at crap jokes/ bat eyelashes/ find motorbikes and mountain bikes entrancing has gone forever!

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 21:07:06

Oh gosh, are we multilplying?
Anyone else doing the lonely, in with the kids and a bottle of wine Friday?

AmIthatScary Fri 26-Oct-12 21:15:04

I was going to start a thread, but then thought that I should probably post here first.

I was thinking today, what is actually wrong with me? Purely objectively, I have had no male interest for 8 years. So I must be hideously ugly, or downright obnoxious, and yet I don't think I am.

I am totally fed up being on the brink of tears all the fuckin time.

Why can't me and DD belong to a happy little family.
Why do I have to do every fucking thing myself

Surely, surely I can't have left it too late in life to be truly happy.

And yes, I know plenty in relationships are not happy, but I am so, so sick of this loneliness.

I hate this life. If it wasn't for my spectacular DD then I don't suppose I would bother if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

I never thought my life would turn out this shite sad

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 21:19:18

Not a great day then AmI? Has anything in particular happened or just same old same old?

AmIthatScary Fri 26-Oct-12 21:25:24

Nah, nothing in particular, just the realisation that it's the weekend again and we don't have the "family fun" plans that everyone else seems to have. And I hate my work with a passion, but am limited in other options due to childcare and carer responsibilities

Still, me and DD going shopping for winter boots tomorrow, then having lunch together, then home and settled down for Strictly.

In many ways, I should count my blessings, because it will be lovely and very expensive grin

But I'm still so tired and so lonely

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 21:34:58

Do "family fun" plans exist anyway? I'm not sure I ever had them!

Tomorrow sounds like you should have a good day but it's the adult company thing again isn't it. Kids are great but it's that person to empty your head to, to share the mundane happenings.

AmIthatScary Fri 26-Oct-12 21:59:11

yes, thanks glitch for being so nice. We will have a lovely time, we are so, so close and I love spending time with my wee siamese twin.

But I would give my right arm for someone to tell me I look nice and give me a kiss and a cuddle. I'm easily pleased.

I try not to judge others, but sometimes when I see/hear the way some women treat their men, I am totally [shocked]. I know it's very childish, but it aint fair.

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:05:46

Sounds like my DS, I love spending time with him, but it isn't the same as adult company.

Have you tried <whispers> internet dating yet?

I have signed up and had a quick look, and then I ran away scared smile

AmIthatScary Fri 26-Oct-12 22:27:56

susiedaisy had the same experience as me. I am registered with Dating Direct, but only ever get any interest from old men. Any that I think look nice, I'm way above their age limit.

One bloke asked me to send a pic, which very drunk I did. Then he went offline !! ..the funny thing was, when I had seen his pic i thought "ew, but let's give him a chance"

I can laugh about it now, but in my dark moments, it hurts like hell.

I read somewhere that if you feel ugly,etc, you should look at the six people nearest to you, then ask yourself if you still feel that way. Well I sometimes do think I'm not that bad. I am kind, I like people to be happy, I am independent, I am a wee bit overweight, but I have fabulous boobs, and a fabulous brain.

But no-one wants me. What can I do?

susiedaisy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:33:07

Sorry to hear you're feeling low Aml sad another weekend of smiling and trying to look busy here as well, don't have a lot of words of comfort,
been a strange and shitty week here as well my oldest dc had got his first girlfriend which of course I'm not allowed to mention, found out via FB, and my exH announced he is reducing the CM by nearly a quarter as he's had a reduction in his salary, 6 weeks after purchasing a £220,000 house with his GF??? So am now sat here panicking about how I'm going to make huge cuts in day to day life so that we can manage sadangry

Sorry just venting, hugs to us all x

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:35:02

You are far braver than me then. No conversation or photos from me have worked their way on any site so far. I quite like older men though so it might suit me!! grin
Maybe the guy thought you were out of his league??? Or he might have been drunk and shy and run away scared like we have done?

I'm not sure of the best way of meeting people. I haven''t got that far yet!

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:37:37

Ouch Susie, that sounds bit harsh. The last thing you need when feeling crappy is less money too.

susiedaisy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:40:28

Well apparently 1 in 5 relationships start online which equates to 20% so that means that 80% still meet their dp in RL!

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:41:17

But where????

susiedaisy Fri 26-Oct-12 22:42:13

Well that's the big mystery isn't it!! smile

glitch Fri 26-Oct-12 22:45:33

LOL, yep, guess so.
I need a neon sign above my head....single, not desperate, just would like a natter with a normal person. grin

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