Lone Parents Or Relationships????????

[Panic]

Didn't know where to post this.

Seperated with partner about a month ago - reasons: he is controlling, terrible temper eg smashing things, pushing me etc. Complete lack of respect for me and I feel unable to trust him.

Anyway, when we first seperated people told me that he might 'try to get at me thru the kids'. I was shocked and said he would never do that. The other day (when he came back unninvited) he told eldest that he wants to come home but mummy won't let him.

Since this, behaviour from eldest has been bad, I know she is upset but I don't know what to do. We have had chats about the situation but I feel so bad for her.

He meanwhile deperatley wants us to get back together, but he still seems to have no REAL concept of my feelings towards him and my reasons for asking him to go.

Life is such a mess at the moment. Have been advised to see a solicitor about where I stand.

Don't know what I expect anyone to post in reply, just feels good getting everything down on paper so to speak.

[megandsoph]

I think you should definetly see a solisitor and get them to state what you want and don't want to happen in a letter for you ex. Also get them to state that you will not permit any emotional blackmail aimed at your children.

I have been going through this for the past couple of years and had to get my sol to write a number of things to him regarding emotional blackmail especially.

[Panic]

God a couple of years?? What sort of blackmail did your ex try if you don't mind me asking?

It just seems so scary going to see a solicitor I can't beleive what is happening

[Rustle]

just thought you all ought to know that ive tried to be resonable with this lady and find it very funny she posted this letter on new years eve as she spent that night with me and i didnt exACTLY PUT HER ARM AROUND HER BACK TO GET HER THERE

[deaddennis]

Rustle - Am I right in thinking you are the ex partner of Panic? How nice of you to check up on your ex and see what she's been posting. Obviously we didn't know your version of events before, but I think we can assume you are a nosey bastard if nothing else!

[Rustle]

yes im nosey

[7777777]

why hasnt panic posted again could it be that rustle the nosey bastard is being controlling and not letting her use the computer. poor you panic, id dump him quick, your daughter is being poisoned by him and that is unforgiveable for any father to do

[Caligula]

Rustle you should have the courage of your convictions and conduct your adult relationships with adults, not bring your children in to them.

That's not anything a responsible and loving parent should do.

[notasheep]

Panic-what is happening?

[jco]

excuse me for butting in and for being rude but Rustle dies the title of this website 'mumsnet' not tell you something?!!

[spursmum]

Ahh jco thats not exactly true as we have some very nice daddies on here too!
But have to agree with everyone about Rustle being a nosey b*stard.
Let Panic speak for herself.