Think I might have done something unforgivable...

[Janos]

Last night I said to my XP that he couldn't see his son this week after we had a huge row. Wish I hadn't said it the moment it was out...immediately sent a message apologising and saying that I didn't mean it, which I don't - I would never stop DS seeing his Dad. It was said in the heat of the moment. We are going to mediation on Friday to sort out access and I think he will use it against me. Can he?

Things were going fine up until now..well not fine, but Ok.. and I'm so angry with myself for saying it. Has anyone here ever been in this situation? Any opinions/advice very welcome.

[TheFish]

oh god thats fine! you made a hasty statnemntt then apoligised!

[jinglinggoblin]

crap thing to say, but the fact that you immediately apologised should smooth it out at least a bit. my x once told me that he would take the kids abroad and i would never see them again if we split. we did split, he hasnt taken them, but i cant forget it. i suspect your x will bring it up but the important thing is to be reasonable on friday and stress that you are not the sort of person who would make your ds suffer like that

[Janos]

You are absolutely right jinglinggoblin, it was a dreadful thing to say. I am so ashamed . He is a great Dad and I would never say otherwise.

We had another argument on the phone tonight and I ended up busrting into tears....aaargh. Missing my DS ( he is staying with XP tonight).

[PantomimEDAMe]

Second what the fish said. You were angry, you lashed out, you apologised immediately. if your ex brings it up, just say sorry, you were both having a row, it slipped out BUT you instantly took it back.

[HarkTheHeraldAIMSMUMsings]

Janos, I have said this to my XP in the middle of an argument too.

I really wouldn't worry, and you have appologised.

Hope the mediation works things out for you

[Janos]

Thanks everyone...thought I would get flamed beyond belief! He can be very calculating though and am sure will use it to portray me as a hysterical harpy (fair enough I was a bit hysterical when I said it..) and himself as calm and reasonable.

[jinglinggoblin]

my x was calm when he made his threat - i think it is much better to be hysterical (or upset, that sounds better) when you say something like this, at least you then have the excuse that it was in the heat of the moment. the fact that you are going through mediation to sort out access proves that you are being reasonable. we were turned down for mediation after they spoke to x because he is not reasonable in the slightest. dont worry, it was nasty but i dont think it will do any long term damage. if you are carrying on with mediation you obviously didnt mean it