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6 replies

woosmummy · 08/09/2005 22:32

What do I do now? What should I ask him for, who do I need to tell???? what can I do to make this work??(better!)

My decision to end it, lots of problems before and after babywoo was even thought of, never mind born.

Ex is disabled and alot of my stress was having to look after him aswell as babywoo (despite him actually being fit and strong - more of a mental ability type prob and epilepsy).

I feel like a cowbag but I just couldn't go on with coping wiyh working fulltime, all the childcare, worrying about him having/not having fits, being away from family, him stealing from me ,gambling smoking pot ... all too much for one little person really...

Didn't find out I was pregnant till 24wks, only been together seven months by then. I'd just graduated an started new job in nhs, thought about finishing with him before i moved to make new start but thought the company would be nice!! Turned out i was pregnant and had to go through with it - dont regret that for one second but boy have i wished i'd just been more careful

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fairyfly · 08/09/2005 22:35

What do you want to happen now? Has he got parental rights?

Love cowbag comment.

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woosmummy · 08/09/2005 23:25

we left it on good terms, he's got all the contact he wants

BUT i cant leave babywoo with him overnight due to ex's nighttime epilepsy, and now i cant monitor if he's having absence seizures i'm worried about him being on his own with him in the day. Thats always been a worry though. i could never forgive myself if e had a fit or absence and woo got hurt. May never happen but thats not gonna help if it does!!!

Is it worth doing the CSA thing if we can get informal agreement sorted? I know so many people have trouble with it, but if he doesn't keep to agreement woo still needs fed and dressed

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Caligula · 09/09/2005 00:30

Try and get an informal agreement. The CSA are a waste of time. Chances that you will get any maintenance from them are very slim - 70% of resident parents get either nothing at all or only a fraction of what they're supposed to get.

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Caligula · 09/09/2005 00:32

Have you been in touch with any national epilepsy charity who may be able to give you guidance as to what the guidelines are for epileptics and babies? That must be quite a worry.

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woosmummy · 09/09/2005 17:22

the epilepsy is such a worry, he nearly dropped him when I was handing him the baby but i realised he was having an absence. He doesn't have them everyday but its about the worry that he could. seeing health visitor on monday so i'm gonna ask her what she knows about the situation - cant be the only epilepic dad in the world can he...

Its strange but most new mums dont get good sleep cause of the baby - mine slept through, it was his dad that caused the lack of sleep! I was waking up everytime he did one of those jumps in his sleep - everyone gets them but with him i always panicing it was the start of a convulsion

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loupylou · 09/09/2005 20:30

Is there anyone on his side of the family who could be around to just keep an eye in case of seizures? Perhaps contact the national epilepsy organisations because no doubt there are lots of epileptic parents. They may have some wise words. Try and keep it amicable, why bother making more work than you need. From what i've heard this week, CSA won't be worth chasing at the moment, maybe if they sort themselves out in the future, but i think i'd hold off.
It sounds as if you've done what's right for you and little woo, well done and congrats on the sleep.

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