Mumsnet Talk

Dear all,

After a couple of very tricky years, I realise I need to devote some time (and money no doubt!) to rebuilding both my physical and mental well being.

We have recently moved to Brighton and Hove, so although there are hundreds of practitioners specialising in lots of weird and wonderful therapies, I don’t have a network to call on for recommendations...and I feel lost!

On the physical front, I am looking for suggestions of therapies that will help me recharge my energy levels. The batteries are empty, my body is dog tired and in pain – everything feels like a huge effort and I feel stuck in the body of an old lady! I also want to feel more grounded and connected again. Does that make sense? PS I hate sport, my idea of hell!

On the mental front, I also need to work on some issues that becoming a mum has thrown up, as well as work through my feelings about my daughter’s father. I also need some support in parenting my toddler as I often feel like I am not being the mum I could be, but I don’t know how to break that cycle! I feel unsure about looking online for a shrink and don’t really know what kind of practitioner could help me with these “parenting” related issues

If you have any brainwaves where to look for help then I would be very grateful. And if you have any local practitioner recommendations, then that would be wonderful!

Thanks for taking the time.

Hi
Welcome to Hove. Brighton and Hove are full of all sorts of therapists as you say. It sounds like you've got a few things on your mind and maybe you could decide that some issues will have to wait. Rather than starting into therapy what about just finding your way in this new town first? (i saw your thread about stuff to do at weekends)

A move is massive and then judging yourself as bring in some way not perfect as a mum sounds harsh on yourself? No-one is perfect and you're a single mum so there's no-one to share that huge responsibility with (sometimes it's nice to be able to "blame" someone else at least!!)
If you find a gentle way to look after yourself for a while it might be easier than attempting to address all these issues. Have you ever tried yoga? Sounds ideal for you. Treat yourself to massages maybe?

If you really feel you need parenting advice what about a health visitor ? I personally don't really rate them but I'm going on my own experience. What they can do though is refer you to lots of things like the Triple p parenting course which is meant to be quite general and good and doesn't mean you've got "problems",just gives you strategies. Or do you know where your local sure start centre is?

Hope any of that helps!
X

The physical and mental are so linked. . Being dog tired and feeling knackered and low energy might all get better if you look after yourself and start taking it easy!

Thank you Fearless for your kind words and suggestions. I realise i have taken on alot and I need to give it some time. One of my "problems" is that I am a do-er, once I have an idea, I need things to start moving and I dont do "taking it easy" very well!
I have an appointment with the H Visitor, I will try and ask her for some advice (parenting strategies would be good) without turning into a blubbering wreck!
And yes, yoga might be an option - if you know anywhere or anyone you would recommend, please let me know
I also thought about the Alexander technique but again, don't really know where to start!
Thanks again

Hi,

How are you doing? A big pat on the back for managing on your own, its tough enough with a partner, so hats off to you.

Your post really resonated with me. Up until seven months ago I was exhausted, my confidence disappeared, along with my sense of humour and I lost the ability to communicate. I didn't feel capable of engaging with or tuning into my little boy, which made me feel like an incompetent mum and I felt guilty about Everything. Motherhood brought up some issues for me, which I’m currently trying to work through with a very good counsellor. He was recommended to me by a friend and charges £15 for an hour long session (i’m a volunteer charity worker so we negotiated). The only down side is that he is based in Lewes. There is also Threshold, based in Brighton, offering reduced fee counselling and a creche facility – here’s the link: http://www.bht.org.uk/index.php?dir=services/mental%20health/threshold

I also had a few sessions of acupuncture at Dragon Acupuncture, which helped to get my system moving again. They’re cheaper than most places and offer a concession price too. Here’s the link: http://www.dragonacupunctureproject.co.uk/brighton-acupuncture-clinic.html

I hope the health visitor can help you out with advice on parenting support. Let me know how you get on if you like. If you fancy taking a walk along the seafront with your little one or grabbing a coffee sometime then get in touch.

I hope this helps,
Jo