How often do you hear from your parents - and how often do you keep in touch?

(31 Posts)
mirai Fri 23-Aug-13 02:49:03

Just been pondering this a little over the last few days, so I'll go first!

My Ddad and I text every day

My Dmum doesn't like any sort of technology so she writes me the occasional letter and I write back, maybe once a month

We Skype DPIL around every fortnight plus some sporadic texting with DMIL in between.

AdoraBell Fri 23-Aug-13 03:37:20

OH Skypes PILs once a week. MIL has called twice in ten years. OH also tries to Skype BIL at least twice a month, shift patterns make it awkward, BIL has called once in ten years.

My parents are both long deceased.

Longdistance Fri 23-Aug-13 03:49:32

I speak to my mum and dad on Skype every Sunday evening. My db sets it up, as my dp's are useless with technology. My mum rings me once a week for a catch up and gossip.

Skype mil every Sunday after we've spoken to my dp's. Then get random calls off mil.

We just get random calls every two weeks or so from fil.

mirai Fri 23-Aug-13 04:23:05

Thanks for your replies, and sorry to hear about that Adora.

The reason for my asking is DSIL sent me and DH a text earlier saying that her mum (DH's mum) is upset that we don't contact her very much, apparently she sees us updating FB and wonders why we can't get in touch with her. But like I say we send messages every few days, although DH texts her a lot more rarely. I just wondered if we could be doing more.

I'll ask DH to send her some more messages I think.

AdoraBell Fri 23-Aug-13 04:33:56

I'm used to it, they were the same before we moved.

Other than trying to get DH to contact her more frequently I don't think anything really needs to be done. You contact her frequently, she can see your Facebook, is she on there herself?

Without wishing to be unkind I think it really is up to DH to contact his DM, not that I think you shouldn't.

BronaghT Fri 23-Aug-13 04:35:42

I FT once a week with texts during the week.

mirai Fri 23-Aug-13 04:45:58

Yes well actually we encouraged her to sign up for FB, precisely so she could see the photos and the statuses etc from our travels, and see what we were up to!

Yes, I do think he needs to up his game a bit more... I do love my MIL though, she is lovely, so it's nice to keep in touch smile

AdoraBell Fri 23-Aug-13 04:55:13

It's nice that you get on well, sounds to me like she wants the contact from DH as well as from you, and everything you put on FBsmile

nooka Fri 23-Aug-13 06:00:18

I ring my mother every week. Sometimes she rings me, but it's easier for me to ring her because I'm better about timing. Before my father died in January I rang every fortnight. I ring my siblings roughly every three weeks, again they occasionally ring me, but it's usually the other way around. Not an issue to me.

dh hasn't spoken to his father or sisters for a couple of years. I'm not even sure why to be honest, but I don't really have the sort of relationship with them to pick up the phone myself. I think it is sad, and try to encourage contact, but he is pretty apathetic about it. His mum died almost 20 years ago. I think it would probably be different if she was still around.

Sunnysummer Fri 23-Aug-13 06:04:33

We keep in touch almost daily with a whatsapp, which has been brilliant - it we have a group with my siblings, parents and inlaws, and every day people are sending baby photos, updates and things. We also Skype at least once a week, but find that messaging is so much easier to manage, and makes you feel more in touch with the day to day.

We make sure we catch up in person at least once a year... The new website that calculates how many times you'll get to see your parents,
seeyourfolks.com/, put the fear in us and we booked tickets right away! confused

JustBecauseICan Fri 23-Aug-13 06:35:03

My (also technology hating) mum and I have an hours long phonecall on a Sunday evening.

Catch up in person during the summer (ie now) and at Christmas. I come home smile and have myself looked after!

Shanghaidiva Fri 23-Aug-13 06:57:28

Phone my mum every other week, my dad died 13 years ago. Have lived overseas for over 18 years so mum is used to infrequent contact as no Skype etc when we moved away.
Pils - I never phone them. Send emails update them on what the kids are doing. Think dh phones them every couple of months or so.

KingRollo Fri 23-Aug-13 07:02:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kelda Fri 23-Aug-13 07:03:54

Emails every day, often more then one. I recieved two emails from them this morning.

SaltySeaBird Fri 23-Aug-13 07:15:09

See PIL every weekend, MIL will call once or twice during the week for general chit chat. They do expect us to go round and never come here but only live a few minutes away so it's not a problem, they are nice people but wouldn't have a clue about texts, email or anything tech related (they use them but not as a form of communication with nearby family). They would not understand Facebook!

I see my DM every week too, at least once and will talk to her on the phone several times a week. She lives just under an hour away. She never replies to texts or email, no idea why as she uses both a lot!

I speak to one of my sisters every day, sometimes twice. I'll see her at least once a week. My other sister I talk to probably once a week, sometimes it will go to three.

We are all very close, I'm lucky to have such a fab family!

mirai Fri 23-Aug-13 09:40:41

KingRollo wink grin

Frikonastick Fri 23-Aug-13 09:55:59

Every day with both sets of parents. Skype so doesn't cost us anything.

WhataSook Fri 23-Aug-13 10:59:51

I call my mum 2 - 3 times a week and we skype once a week. The ILs call about once a month but they aren't as far as my DP so they visit every 2 - 3 months (or we go over).

When my DM is feeling a bit sad about the distance I always say imagine living like this 20 years ago, there was no skype, no whats app, people didn't really use email and phone calls weekly (never mind 2 - 3 times!) would just be too expensive. She then thinks herself very lucky that we moved away in such a technology-advanced time! grin

justanuthermanicmumsday Fri 23-Aug-13 11:08:21

used to call my mum every morning after older kids went school, she passed away 2 years ago. i miss our talks.

dad isnt as chatty, and now with dementia he doesn't initiate or finish a conversation lots of silences unless i talk nonsense to fill the gaps. so i only call him once a week.

sis is like my step mum head of house keeps us siblings together call her once a week coz shes too busy with work and kids and text her most days for sad stuff like mums recipes lol

if i could speak to family once everyday i would but no one has the time or doesnt want to make it, mum always had time for me life sucks sometimes.

mil lives with me, calls her daughter nearly everyday. but when she visits her daughter its like we are dead to her she will go a month without calling. i can see how much we matter to her.

Strokethefurrywall Sat 24-Aug-13 03:31:10

I'm 4000 miles away and skype parents maybe 2-3 times a week. Definitely more so now since we've had DS who's nearly 2.

When I first moved out here, I found it brilliant for keeping me feel close to home and it definitely helped with homesickness! Now 5 1/2 years later, here feels like home but I still love keeping in touch with my family as we're very close.

Isthiscorrect Sat 24-Aug-13 13:43:27

Hmmm neither my mum nor Dh parents can use a computer or text (at least PIL have a mobile). Last summer mother went into a home, she has dementia but generally has 5 or 6 sentences worth of reasonable conversation then she changes the subject, we call her weekly and Ds speaks to her every time (not sure if he will still do that next year when he leaves for uni). TBH we never had a particularly close relationship and its more for Ds than me (apologies if that makes me seem bad I'm really not). DPIL we call once a week, but they are very old and very old fashioned phone is for giving information not chatting sad. As for visiting we try for twice a year, for me for various reasons its 4 times over the last 12 months but now it will probably be just next summer.

Isthiscorrect Sat 24-Aug-13 13:44:03

sorry meant to say none of them has ever called us in the last 7 years. I really hope that Ds will be different.

Littleen Sat 24-Aug-13 18:53:26

When I lived abroad, I spoke to my parents every week the first few months, but after a few years, only once a month (my dads work pays their phonebill, so it didn't cost them anything to phone)

Now we live in a different country from the in-laws, and speak to his mother once every few weeks and his dad twice a year (which was also the same when living in the same country :P not much contact there.)

chloeb2002 Sat 24-Aug-13 21:26:58

We Skype every week and when ever we want or need!
I could happily have my mum and her hubby live here.. As for the rest .. Yes distance is a good thing!
Facebook is great and well used for photos and updates. Often a good way of getting news out en mass!
Really living overseas with modern technology staying in touch is easy.. Well with those you choose to!
I have noticed a theme however .. Amongst most of my expat friends.... Phones.. The lines often run one way... They don't seem to come out of the uk?? At least for a while! And similarly... Planes only fly one way too! ..... Just sayin shock

Annunziata Sat 24-Aug-13 21:33:50

MIL phones us every day when she is back in her home country.

mirai Sun 25-Aug-13 12:57:35

So true chloeb, my mum is the first to complain I never ring her but she has NEVER called us, in two years! She has come out for a holiday though smile

chloeb2002 Sun 25-Aug-13 14:40:03

I am lucky.. My mum and my best friend both call, often.. And have visited. Everyone else we call.. I have just had a request from some other good friends to stay next year.. So that's good too!

Salbertina Sun 25-Aug-13 17:05:23

Twice a year for xmas and birthdays. They seem fine with that

Inlaws regular emails, calls every few months.

nooka Sun 25-Aug-13 18:23:48

I guess the way I see it is that we chose to move overseas (it wasn't for a job or family reasons, just because we wanted an adventure/ new start really) so the onus is on us to make the effort. Plus dh does the whole 'they've not called me so why should I call them' and the result is no communication for years.

Visiting wise we are far away and it is very expensive so whilst I'd love more visits it's not going to happen.

Nannyme1 Sun 25-Aug-13 18:28:02

My mum sends me an email every day on Facebook. I try to reply as frequently but sometimes forget and she gets grumpy with me until I write her a nice long response. Dad doesn't really do computers but gets read emails to mum and is informed of all the news.
Sisters I email a few times during the week. 1 replied one mostly doesn't but get all new news through my other sister...I don't get offended cause she has always been useless at replying to things.
Try and call every few weeks but its hard with my work and the time difference and getting everyone in the same house. Don't really want to call parents and sister (one sister doesn't have home phone only mobile certainly not calling that!)

xpatmum Mon 26-Aug-13 02:29:33

We skype PIL every Sunday evening and my parents usually once a week at random times. My mum used to call me when we were in Holland as she had free calls but we're in Asia now and even though its 1.5p a minute she is too tight to call lol.

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