Smacking

(29 Posts)
chloeb2002 Mon 22-Jul-13 19:01:13

Really is it just me here on my own morale high ground in Brisbane?? It seems that smacking is totally acceptable.. Encouraged even.. I just don't get it. One mums forum I read sometimes on face c##p was suggesting that smacking a 14 month old for putting good on the floor was just dandy??? Really... Is it just me?
confused

echt Tue 23-Jul-13 10:40:01

No, chloe, you're not on your own.

However, if you were to post this on a thread with more traffic, there would be queues of apologists to say:

1. It didn't do them any harm
2. Naughty step is just as bad
3. Non-hitters are often more subtly abusive, therefore smacking is OK.

Hitting a child is shit and never OK. I hit DD once, and in the heat of the moment and felt, and still feel the most intense shame. I would say that I have a very short fuse, so any idea that I'm endlessly patient is wide of the mark. It's a matter of principle. Hittiing is abusive.

The reasons for hitting a child would also excuse the hitting of the demented or severely SN, something the pro-hitters conveniently ignore.

Wankers.

As you can see, I call it "hitting", because "smacking" makes it sound, sort of OK. Which it isn't. Ever.

chloeb2002 Tue 23-Jul-13 12:04:06

Not enough energy for more traffic.. I just found in England it was far less "accepted" than here. Here it seeks to be fair game to hit your kids.. Yes emotive but in my eyes.. The aim is to inflict pain on your child.. Hitting / smacking .. Same difference. Hey ho I guess I just swallow hard and ensure my kids know the reasons why I think it's wrong.

putyourhatonsweetie Tue 23-Jul-13 12:53:46

Yep, with you. So much more acceptable here hmm. Wrong on so many levels.

I manage an early childhood program and trying to work up the courage to do some work on it in our little community.

Mosman Sat 03-Aug-13 14:56:07

Two lovely people I've met in Perth, highly educated intelligent people regularly hit their two year old with a wooden spoon.

Fairylea Sat 03-Aug-13 15:00:57

To be honest, overseas attitudes towards children and smacking is one of the main reasons I could never live anywhere but the UK. Smacking is generally frowned upon here, thank goodness.

Katiepoes Sat 03-Aug-13 19:17:55

Fairylea do you know 'overseas' is not an actual place? I might just as well say attitudes like yours make me glad I do not live in the UK.

Fairylea Sat 03-Aug-13 19:36:38

Of course I do. No need to be so rude.

Yes I was generalising. I apologise for that. I was merely joining in the conversation.

chloeb2002 Sun 04-Aug-13 17:46:44

I am some what relieved I am not the only person who finds it "strange" that its do acceptable here. It was on sunrise as a topic and 91% of people say they would reject a ban. I can't understand that. I guess it's just a case of educating those you can. I have managed to convert one... wink So I am trying ...

twilight3 Mon 05-Aug-13 18:33:49

I disagree that smacking is frowned upon in the UK, I see it a lot both in public and in forums, I wish it was banned. It seems though that the UK is the only country in Europe were parents are given the law's permission to smack their children!!! As long as they don't leave a mark -god forbid there's physical proof that you abuse your children...

chloeb2002 Mon 05-Aug-13 20:27:39

Interesting as I naively thought it was illegal, but at least the issue has been partially addressed and even the poli's can see it needs further "work" no such chance here.

Katiepoes Tue 06-Aug-13 20:26:46

Was it not banned in Scotland? I'm in the Netherlands - and I don't know whether it's banned or not. I do know I have never ever seen it happen, and none of the people I know with kids would do it either. Just not done.

Stand your ground you ladies in Australia, they'll come round eventually. Even my Mum has...and she was the queen of the 'a slap on the leg will sort that out' approach.

twilight3 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:34:45

no, what was banned in scotland was the use of instruments, it's only allowed with open hand. In the rest of the UK you can use an instrument of your judgement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do see it a lot in the UK. You can read threads about it on here and you'll see what I mean....

twilight3 Wed 07-Aug-13 09:49:38

as I was a foster parent for years I know some very unfortunate statistics and research, like this http://www.angus-reid.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2012.02.13_Smacking_BRI.pdf
and this https://login.thetimes.co.uk/?gotoUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thetimes.co.uk%2Ftto%2Fnews%2Fuk%2F

I don't know what it's like in Oz, because when I briefly lived there I didn't have children, so wasn't paying any attention to them.

However, whichever the country, I believe that the law should absolutely prohibit smacking, as laws form ethics and public opinions. People who consider smacking their given right are encouraged by the law. And they can also argue to non-smackers that "there's a reason the law allows it". A weak and confused non-smacker might think that they have a point... I don't know if I'm explaining very well what I'm trying to say, my written speech skills are quite terrible.

I was under the impression that a ban on smacking appears on the press in Oz from time to time, and I know that Tasmania are moving towards a ban. As it is over here, in the UK. Hopefully it will be law soon, and people will start seeing more clearly....

vikinglights Wed 07-Aug-13 09:54:15

well Fairylea I'm overseas and hitting children is illegal here, as in jail time......

twilight3 Wed 07-Aug-13 10:46:21

I think this is the case in most, if not all, of Europe viking.

Unfortunately, in over half of the USA corporal punishment in legal in schools as well as at home. In the other half it's legal at home sad

Mutley77 Wed 07-Aug-13 14:13:11

Yes I am surprised at the recent debates on it here in Australia. It was like a real revelation that research by paediatricians showed that smacking should be banned!!!! In the UK I think the prevailing view is that smacking is not ok - not meaning it doesn't happen but people certainly wouldn't freely admit to it in my experience....

Katiepoes Wed 07-Aug-13 14:48:48

Twilight that is sad - I fully support a ban. As for schools - words fail me.
I checked it out here and this was passed in 2007:

“(1) Parental authority includes the duty and the right of the parent to care for and raise his or her minor child. (2) Caring for and raising one’s child includes the care and the responsibility for the emotional and physical wellbeing of the child and for his or her safety as well as for the promotion of the development of his or her personality. In the care and upbringing of the child the parents will not use emotional or physical violence or any other humiliating treatment.”

This in effect means spanking is indeed illegal in the Netherlands. Good.

chloeb2002 Wed 07-Aug-13 15:13:39

What I do find odd is the " reverse the law" group in nz who want the law there over turned. Do they not think it was made for a reason?

I hope a good black and white law is passed here but with another election looming it will not be any time soon!

twilight3 Wed 07-Aug-13 17:21:49

for anyone who's interested, here's the situation in Europe today http://www.coe.int/t/dg3/children/corporalpunishment/Country%20Activity%20Reports/DefaultProgress_en.asp

There's also a petition to be signed on this site for a global ban, if you wish to help.

"Hitting adults is called assault.
Hitting animals is called cruelty.
Hitting children is "for their own good". "

(I know this is a tad off topic but it's something I feel strongly about and can't help going on, so apologies if I'm boring or annoying anyone, I'm leaving now...).

pupsiecola Wed 07-Aug-13 17:53:31

Corporal punishment is also legal in Singapore in the state schools, and at home. But in the state schools only for boys! And sometimes it's done in front of other pupils to add humiliation to the pain.

WestieMamma Sat 10-Aug-13 00:41:20

It's an offence where I am too. I find the UK's position on smacking shameful. There have been various government enquiries looking into it and they have all come to the conclusion that it should be banned. But no government has had the backbone to do it. The UN has a programme aimed at bringing about a universal ban on smacking. The European Union is working towards, and has almost achieved a cross Union ban.

It will eventually happen in the UK too. It's just a matter of time. I think it's a shame that the UK will be dragged into the ban kicking and screaming all the way, instead of being at the front, fighting for children's rights.

Sibble Sat 10-Aug-13 02:57:01

chloeb2002 some (not all of course) of the people here in NZ opposing the law are doing so for a number of reasons:

1. At referendum 87% of voters said no to the anti-smacking law yet it was implemented. Whether you are pro or against the law you have to question why undertake the referendum. People are wanting to make a political statement.

2. It is difficult if not impossible to enforce - how do you prosecute every parent who smacks their child. John Key himself said In 2007, John Key said, “… if the reality is that no one is ever going to be prosecuted for lightly smacking their child, then don’t make it illegal. Don’t make it a crime. It’s poor law-making to write a very strict law and then trust the police and the courts not to enforce it strongly . The law shouldn’t depend on which police officer or which judge or which jury you happen to get on the day.” The law is arguably flawed.

3. People argue it overburdens already overstretched services trying to protect children known to be at risk.

4. It has been and arguably still is acceptable in NZ for some cultures to smack their children. Imposing a law does not change culture, education and time does.

5. Lastly it has done nothing to protect numerous children from being beaten to death each year. 10 children are killed by family members each year. NZs record of child abuse is one of the highest is shocking and the law has had no impact on those figures.

People argue that the law is not the answer. These are not necessarily my views but you asked why people were opposed.

Sibble Sat 10-Aug-13 03:07:40

I separately would also like to add that last year a friend of mine was on jury service. The case a 60+ year old man accused of hitting his Grandchildren. A teacher had reported the Grandfather on behalf of one of the children. As the case progressed it turned out that the children's parents were drug addicts, the Grandparents had taken the children in rather than have them put into care. The children ran wild and were a product of their chaotic upbringing up to that point.

I personally question whether that Grandfather should have been in court or whether he should have been given the support he needed in a very difficult situation.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sat 10-Aug-13 04:49:57

Unfortunately, in over half of the USA corporal punishment in legal in schools as well as at home.

Just to add some clarification to this: 19 of the 50 US states allow corporal punishment in state schools. Local school systems in these states generally have the authority to ban it if they wish, and many do.

The incidence of its use in schools is decreasing. I think there is growing support for more bans in schools, but it will unfortunately be a long time before hitting children is banned in the home in the US.

SavoyCabbage Sat 10-Aug-13 05:11:01

We were talking about it at work last week and I was the only one on the no smacking side. Everyone else aside you should be allowed to smack and even 'it could be banned in public but you can do it behind closed doors'.

I tried to use the example of if we do something wrong at work we don't smack each other across the staff room, but that's not the same apparently.

echt Sat 10-Aug-13 08:33:56

It's a shocker, isn't it?

The example I use is that the arguments for hitting a child: they're impulsive, and not always open to reason, are also those which would allow you to hit a demented adult or a person with severe SN.

The one that sticks in my craw is "the loving smack". Yeah, right. hmm

WestieMamma Sat 10-Aug-13 09:44:57

Research has shown that anti-smacking law is a leading law. Normally law is changed to reflect changes in societies opinions. Occassionally law is changed first and societies opinions gradually change in line with it eg anti drink driving legislation.

When the law changed in Sweden the majority of people opposed it and thought smacking was ok. 5 years later you'd be hard pushed to find anyone who thought it was ok.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sat 10-Aug-13 13:18:42

WestieMama, I have used that example in several contexts with friends here in the US when they come up with the old "you can't legislate morality" argument.

Laws against domestic violence have also been to a significant extent leading laws.

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