WHERE'S BEST TO LIVE IN NZ AND WHAT DO WE NEED TO KNOW: PART 5!(1000 Posts)
Look at us Chatty Cathy's!
Justa oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo<breathes>ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(I'm not sure )
Oh dear. Well, a good way to check is - when you pulled them out of the hair, 20 min after applying the lotion, were they all dead/not moving?
(can't believe we are having this conversation at the beginning of a thread, it will put every potential emigrant off forever)
I don't know if they were dead 20 minutes after! I washed the filthy little fuckers down the sink saying "DIE you filthy little fucker DIE!"
Does that help?
Give it a few days, see what turns up...
AB- I've been told it's inevitable here..... So far DD has avoided them but they are rife at nursery. They have banned shared hats this year.
Are they always black? I've never seen one but am always worried.
Seriously, don't worry. Whatever shampoo you used, you have probably got rid of all or almost all of the hatched ones by wetcombing.
Now what you do is wetcomb again in 48 hours, then again 48 hours later, then again....you get the picture. For some time.
That way you catch the little bastards as they hatch, before they can lay more eggs, and you break the cycle. We found the suffocation stuff was helpful - can't remember the exact one we used.
OR you can do what most of my friends do here, they wetcomb once a week and gradually reduce the number as it were, but this approach is a bit laidback, and lots of cross-infection risks across the family.
We actually bought one of the electric combs - this helps quite a bit cos you can do the kids' heads when they are dry - but it only catches the bigger little bastards so you have to live with the idea of small little ones hatching and not being caught immediately.
I've been itching since I heard they were back in DD1's classroom. She appears to be fine.
We have a great kids shampoo that contains natural repellent - but it's nearly all gone. When I asked in the chemist about it, the lady looked at me in complete awe and said "wow, that's a great idea. We don't have that". I might have to add it to the list of stuff I get people to bring over for me
DH is trying to get me to go to the doc in the morning for my shoulder, whether it's worse or not. I'm unconvinced as I'm not sure they can say much other than take painkillers, which I'm already doing. Although maybe they (or somebody more knowledgeable than I) can tell me how I managed to hurt my ear...
DH is right.
Go and see a Dr. Then go and get some free physio on your shoulder.
Gosh I am bossy tonight, aren't I?
You should change your name to justaboutisbossy
or more correctly justaboutisright
I shall probably do as I'm told. If only because I'm so aware of the tenderness that I know I'm holding stiffly which can't be helping.
But I will admit that I'd feel a bit daft going in for a sore shoulder. You'd never do it in Ireland!
Oh sod it. This has been bothering me all evening and to save me the humiliation of either posting on the main boards or calling my mother I'm going to ask you lovely sensible people.
Both DDs were in the car. Securely strapped into car seats. Both burst out crying on impact. They both seem fine afterwards. DD1 had a small red mark on her shoulder, DD2 was more interested in going walking once she got out of the car. They weren't examined, but the St John's woman did look at them and chat to DD1 when she was talking to me.
There's no chance there could be some hidden injury that we missed, right? I mean, I hurt, but they seem ok.
See why I asked here where you'll all be nice to me. I think the whole thing shook me a bit.
Not daft at all.
I think you would see something in the next few hours, pain, discomfort, swelling, unusual sleepiness, if there was a hidden injury.
I am also superimpressed by St John, if they had a look and weren't fussed I would trust them.
Thanks justa. That's kind of what I thought, but needed confirmation. Good to hear you were impressed with St Johns.
At least DD2's frequent waking will give me plenty of chances to check up on them both overnight
nits are the devils work!!!!!!!
i am the least squemish person i know. seriously. nothing bothers me.
when DD came home from school with them i actually thought i was going to pass out. or throw up. or both.
i had to hand the whole thing over to DH, i cant even do the shampooing and combing oh god i want to throw up just typing about it.
and i make DH check my hair every day now. i literally cant bear the thought.
DH was like, hes been waiting years for me to finally go over the edge, but never would have thought it would be nits that was the final push!!!
i know there is too many exclamation marks on this, but seriously, the horror
god sorry vvviola, about your car accident.
bloody nit thing totally threw me off
Oh frikonastick nits would throw anyone off
And it was really more of a car bump than an accident. I'm just a bit of a wimp.
Important note to all potential expats: NZ is lovely. I can assure you most days don't revolve around car bumps & nits. Really.
Vvviola - defined Dr. You should probably report it for access just in case. I don't understand how access world though? Anyone ? Be kind to yourself. Car accidents are horrid. I had a close miss a few weeks ago and was totally shaken. So take care.
Sorry to hear about your car bump vvviola that sounds v scary, hope you got off to the Drs... better safe than sorry! Did you hear about that MN Blogger who had terrible terrible back pain for years and it wasn't until another random MNetter connected the dots for her about an accident with a glass shower door that the MN Blogger had the light bulb moment that she might not have a degenerative condition but that the pain was caused by that accident. Anyhoo... better safe than sore!
Nits are just the absolute worst... tho I do remember one year at the beach they had an infestation of flesh burrowy type lice things, they were fecking disgusting and I didn't go to the beach for a loooooooooooong time after that!!!! The Nitty Gritty comb is what all the UK mums rave about, it is designed to get the eggs as well as the live buggers and its about £6 from Amazon, I stashed one in the bathroom drawer before DS even started school. Actually his preschool in a vair nice area had two outbreaks in the year he attended... so ya know... its not just a manky NZ thing
And congrats on thread 5 <chink>
Less than four weeks til we fly out now, soooooooooooo excited, lets all pray really really really hard for some sunshine for Xmas / New Years and at least the first half of Jan pleassssssssssssssse!
Marking my place.
We've never had nits but I KNOW that by writing that I have condemned us to a massive outbreak of them within the next week.
Sorry meerkate...in my blind panic, my thread ettiquette totally went out the window! Your conference thingy sounded really cool. A pleb like me would be out of my depth there amid such intellectuals me thinks!
The guy that said that about the bible though,Richard someone wasn't it?Haven't time to go to old thread and check!) sounded like my type of bloke. Not taking everything literally,and being subjective.
My ILS could do with a sermon from him.
Vvviola get yee to the docs I reckon. And yes, agree that bangs are very unnerving indeed. I had a smash (was my fault, shunted back of a taxi at a junction, he appeared to move off and I looked to my right to go after him and accelerated, but he had stalled so I hit him ) Anyway, I was really upset for ages and kept having slo mo's of the accident and feeling the impact.
(But I am a bit of a pansy! You may be made of sterner stuff!)
So really empathise, hope you and the family are ok. Here,have more
kiwi fingers crossed and squeezed.
And I find a clench always helps
and frick yes, there is just something about an infestation that sends one wibbly isn't there?? VILE.
shock announcement coming up...DD has had nits for EIGHTEEN MONTHS we have adapted over the months to treating it as a sort of chronic condition that has to be lived with, rather than an acute one!! I lose count of the hours I have spent communing with her little creatures, I really do. Have tried absolutely everything chemical and now just comb away with the old nitty gritty comb and some conditioner, and vaguely control it that way - I just can't imagine managing to rid her of them altogether any more. One day...She has long, fine hair, which I think is the difficulty. She is talking about a radical haircut, so I am keeping my fingers crossed
PS vvviola don't worry about your kids, they sound fine, but I would take them to the docs anyway just for your peace of mind, if you're anxious about it at all, the doctor will totally understand xxx and AB YES richard holloway is great as an antidote to all the terrible nonsense that can be spouted in the name of religion! I plan to read one of his books soon. MAN that conference was depressing though - I am still feeling inadequate several days on, sigh!!
Sounds like she is being reinfected at school?
After last night's conversation I went and had a double-check of my boys and my hair - seems we are all clear, phew.
Yes Richard Holloway is indeed great. Apparently Richard Dawkins didn't use the footage of his interview with him in his recent programme because Holloway made so many good arguments and could answer all his questions clearly
Things are getting clearer with DS1 I think. Did I tell you about the independent physio and chiropractor? They found evidence of swelling and inflammation in his feet so we are back with the possibility of a physical diagnosis. Physio wonders if this may be a really severe and unusually young case of Severs Disease.
wow, so much activity on the new thread in a short space of time.
headlice - are a mystery as to why they infest some and not others - my dss luckily have avoided all infestations as day care and school (don't speak too soon). My step son however spent the best part of a few years permanently infested???
vvviola - I would get looked at, only because somebody drove into the back of me years (I am so old face) ago and all these years later I have recurring neck/shoulder problems that I have had physio and acupuncture for. I didn't bother at the time (shock I think) and the stupid priority of getting to work...
On another note I can totally emphasis with sick friends/relatives. My sister had early cancer treated 5 years or so ago. At the time the consultant wanted to do radical treatment, I had her referred to a consultant friend of mine on the NHS and she had conservative treatment, has a 6 month old baby but her last test was not good. Hospital said on Monday that they are having a conference tomorrow to decide on course of action - but no more information so we are wondering whether the new cell changes are minor/major or what. Another 24 hours to hear what is happening. Hate being so far at times like this. She wants me to promise if anything 'serious' happens I will go home to help with the baby - what do you say and what do you do.......
Anyway, hardly post on here but needed to put something down to get it off my chest. I am 'the resilient one' quote/unquote in the family so am having conversations with tearful family members trying to reassure them etc... and at the same time am fraught myself. After the case conference I think I'll call my old friend and see what the options are but don't want to do that until they have spoken with my sister......
Anyway, thanks for 'listening' to my rather long post....
i chopped all DDs hair off meerkate! i did! it was waist length and i was like, aaaarrrghhhhh with the scissors and hacked it off!!!!
not really. i took her the hairdressers.
i had 3 car accidents in 4 months. all times my car was completely stationary at either a red light or stop street, and i got rear ended. the second time was when i was coming back from the police station having reported the first accident. <wins>
sibble, i hear you. honestly, shoulder bump in solidarity and stuff
Oh Sibble. Poor you . Keeping fingers crossed for your sister. I know how it feels being so far away when someone is ill. It really stinks.
We've had yet more bad news. A close relative was found dead yesterday morning. Being someone who is vaguely in the public eye at home there's a lot of unsavoury speculation . My Mum is devastated and I know she'd really want to be heading home from Oz, but can't without totally cancelling her visit here.
I'm following all instructions and going to the doc first thing tomorrow.
sibble. That's awful. I don't know what you would say or do regarding your dn, terrribly sad for your sister that she even has to worry about leaving her baby. But not really possible for you to help for any significant amount of time, as you have your own life here.
Lets hope there is some good news after her meeting.
We are here to listen and you don't have to be resiliant with us.
meerkate Arrrgh! Couldn't cope. I told dh to come back with "Nit Napalm"!
I spoke to woman in health store today about prevention, and she told me you can buy expensive spray,but said "Honestly all you need is 100% tea tree oil" She told me to put about 30 drops in shampoo. conditioner. I did both.
Bathed and tea treed them, them combed again, nothing there. Then sprayed with nit stuff, then sprayed with a bottle I'd filled with a mix of tea tree and water!!
Not the best smelling children, but I am determined!!
Completely off topic,but how mean is this? I'm suprised no one had a bloody heart attack!
And you Aucklanders might already know about this, but thought I'd share just incase:
Franklin road Christmas Lights "Lights Up" - Kick off Celebrations
All are welcome to mix and mingle at this free family event, enjoy a sausage or two at the first ever social engagement on the new Birdcage forcourt.
Saturday 1st December 6- 8pm
We will have a BIG celebrity opening for us (not mentioning any names.)
Children's performers, balloons, clowns and lollies...
Free Sausage Sizzle
Auckland City Mission Caroling
Auckland Philharmonia Brass Band
Local Saint Marys School Girls will do a performance also..
Sorry to hear about your sister Sibble. Hope a course of action is started soon by the hospital.
AB yes I have heard the tea tree oil recommended a lot. Apparently it's a natural detterent. I know people who spray and comb through tea tree oil/water once a week as an ongoing preventative measure.
Yep, I went to the dollar shop and bought one of those hairdresser spray bottles? Filled it with a mix and intend to spray them each day...'til they leave home!
sibble - that's awful. I am so sorry. Keep us posted. Fingers tightly crossed...What do you say, indeed...you're obviously a massive ROCK to your whole family, but that does get difficult when you feel like having a breakdown now and again and a good old wail...sending lots of love xox
frik DD seems serious about getting her hair cut off - hurray! Plans to do it for charity with a pal next weekend (our school supports this charity which makes wigs for kids who have lost their hair through chemo and suchlike). Seems a tad medieval as a treatment for nits but hey - I'm fine with that - and am totally trying the tea tree oil spray method as from TODAY AB
vvviola - that's awful - really horrible. Hope your mum keeps on going towards NZ - surely she will?
sibble I found you on a 2010 thread recently re Perth yesterday - we had a little chat about it, how funny is that! Do you still think of moving, or have you shelved that plan?
justa I was on the Richard Dawkins website yesterday checking out his dialogue with RH - that's fascinating re the fact that he had to 'lose' their discussion - must look into that further...
Lots of love to you all xox
Sibble, everyone else has said such sensible things, I just want to give you a hug. Just because you are resilient doesn't mean you can't collapse every now and again!
And vvviola, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope visit can go ahead as planned.
vvviola What a shock. Such a stress for your parents. I hope they can continue their trip to see you x
Yes I am very tempted by the Franklin road thing - but I might choose a quieter time, it is apparently on all through December (although not the party obv)
Looks interesting, doesn't it, Justa? May well head down there at some stage too. Not for the party either though as we're off to MIL for the day.
Am following all instructions and heading for doctor now. Especially as my headache never quite went away after the bump (although it may partly have been caused by having to
gently pull up some of my relatives for engaging in the same speculation on Facebook that the media have been doing about our relative )
I have to say, we are hugely impressed with the insurance company - sorting everything out, rental car at a reduced cost, replaced car seats. I am not hugely impressed at having to drive a teeny Suzuki swift mind you. I can barely get the buggy in the boot. I am slightly cheered by the prospect of seeing DH who is not a small man, driving it to Hamilton at the weekend
Well, apparently I am/was concussed. Have a neck sprain and bruised shoulder. But doc says no need for any treatment other than rest and painkillers for the moment. He didn't seem to understand that rest & not lifting is a little difficult with my two whirlwind children, but at least there's nothing seriously wrong (he ummed & ahed about sending me for a spinal X-ray but reckoned in the end it was a soft-tissue injury and no need)
We are a thread of disasters at the moment!
Well, there you go! What a great excuse to put your feet up and be fussed over by dh later on! Hope you're feeling better.
Was it your brother that was ill,v? Sorry, I can't quite remember, but have just realised we haven't asked if he is out of hospital now.
I am a ball of nervous energy. I have spent the day cooking in preparation for Mum. Lentil and bacon soup incase she wants something light, lasagne incase she doesn't, 3 different kinds of pizza, cakes, biccies!
Movng furniture, hoovering, ironing!And cleaning windows, because I bloody KNOW that will be one of the first things she says! "Oh nothing changes does it AB, little hand marks all over the patio doors!"
fuck off mother shush!"
And I never reported back after everyone being so concerned. He got gradually better and was eventually let out of hospital after about a week in isolation. They never did pin down the cause: "unknown respiratory virus". Felt a bit like the start of one of those epidemic movies at times . No lasting effects either, thank goodness.
AB - I know exactly what you mean about the imminent arrival of mothers. I was meant to be spending this morning & tomorrow morning when I'm child free cleaning & baking. Instead the house is like a tip & I've been dozing and reading all morning.
It's the washing/ironing
mountain pile that will get commented on here.
Glad he is better!
Speaking of which, I have just got a text from my brother telling me that he is in hospital having an operation for a hernia! He said not to tell Mum.
I can not believe it. EVERYTIME she arrives something bad happens.
A hernia though? I thought that was an old man thing?! It's not serious is it?
Have just remembered that you can have pregnancy hernia's and babies can have them too, so no, not an old man thing!Silly me.
My OH had a hernia fixed by day surgery. I think they can normally to done laproscopically (sp?) too. So hopefully minor!
Thanks everybody for all the support. Sister's results not too bad, she does have abnormal cells but these are likely to be caused by pregnancy and b/f. So everything to be repeated in 6 months. Of course she would be happier with 'sorry they weren't your results and yours are all good', but considering yesterday she was planning funeral songs, wills and long term care of my nephew all good really!!!!
Wow, erm ok, just tea the first few posts on this thread and feel like I should go and finish reading the other thread first.
Hope you're settling in ok in the new house AB
vvviola - glad you're OK too, Drs can make me laugh sometimes I remember after my c/s for ds2 I was discharged with a 'don't drive, lift anything heavy, rest etc.....' great except I was on a lifestyle block so miles from anybody, anything and shops etc...with a 4 year old and new baby . My GP signed me off to drive after 3 weeks from memory, as for the don't lift and rest - lol.
Hmm, just found out the Stone Roses are playing Vector next year. Debating how much I want to see them...
Sibble- that is great news! So pleased. I will keep everything crossed for your sis in 6 months.
(explodes with wrath onto thread)
Mary Poppins will cost us MORE THAN TWICE the cheaper ticket price because we need wheelchair access.
I can feel all the pent-up rage at hospital fate and everyone else being directed at their customer service people.
(and great, Sibble, I'm so glad)
Will try and remember everything.
Nits: haven't had them yet, which I'm quite surprised about as there was a couple of outbreaks at ds1's nursery back in the UK and he had longer thicker hair than most of the girls at the time. Dreading the tiny itchy bastards though.
Sorry to hear about your car accident vvv glad to hear you are all ok though (minus shoulder pain)
Just caught up on the last post about your sister sibble great news that all is well. Will keep fingers crossed for you all for 6months time.
justa that's so crap about the theatre tickets. How can they justify needing wheelchair access for the huge price hike. Makes me as I'm sure it does you.
We're going to see Red Hot Chilli Peppers at the Vector in Jan (or is it feb?) can't wait. Might see if we can get tickets for stone roses too.
Went out last Friday as we found a baby sitter, didn't get in until 3.30am and didn't go to sleep until 5am. Ds2 was up at 6am. Saturday was a bit messy
I was back at the docs with another urine infection this week, thank-fully not as bad as the last one a few weeks ago were I felt like I was dying.
Spent most of the last few evenings wrapping the dc Christmas presents. Not done on purpose but the house is going to look like a wooden toy shop come Christmas Day.
justa and vvv. Got my own bank/card now so hopefully no more situations like last time I met you both. Will sort that out for you when I see you next.
Anyone want to meet for coffee tomorrow? I am busy 11 am ish but otherwise free.
OK old fart alert - we are getting Neil Young tickets
justa I will talk to dh and see if the paper would be interested. Outrageous!
Wish I could say yes to coffee...our nits can make their own arrangements
Am so jealous xminerva. Love the chilli's <Oh Anthony,sigh>
Not overly keen on the Roses, associations of a time of being very stoned and a bit depressed and not really liking who I was.
sibble Will google Neil Young! Not sure who he is. I have heard of Neil Diamond?!
Age means nothing though, Dh loves the aforementioned Neil Diamond.
And he is definitely not his era, more my Mums...who doesn't like him!
This is getting complicated and rambly. Have a good time anyway!
Does anyone have any recommendations for lunch in Auckland? Picking Mum up at 11. Will have all the kids
Neil Young's great. I used to listen to the album with "The Needle and the damage done" on loads.
Now I feel like I hardly listen to music as when the noise of children has stopped for the day the quiet is just SO NICE I don't want to listen to anything else .
If anyone is planning another Tesco order - they are still doing the free shipping - it's 20% off all clothes till Monday, code is XMASCRACKER.
X posted with AB. So you are picking her up from airport so want lunch somewhere close to there? Butterfly Creek is really close by I think and the cafe has a good playground, you can use it without paying to go into the whole thing.
oh thank you for that WSS - I need to order more shoes.
Sorry justa probably a bit late for coffee now, but free mon or wed next week if you're up for it?
Ds2 been waking at 5am every morning for about 3/4 weeks so am trying "wake to sleep" from tonight.
Yes thank-you WSS need a few bits for the boys and me now.
Also, for those of us who are
skint frugal with our dollars, PakNSave Glenfield has Meat Week this week, mince for 5.99kg, rump steak for 9.99kg, chicken breasts 9.99kg, 2kg those nice good quality sausages 8.99.
I dunno if the other PakNSaves are running the same deal.
I think the Pak'n'save in Albany might be doing their wine week at the moment...
Am about to lose it with MIL. Left both kids with her for the first time today for about an hour at a park. All went really well, except: both DH & I asked her to make sure they wore their hats in the sun. We were all sitting in the shade at the time so I showed her the hats in the bag. Came back to find the hats had been put away into the car and neither child had worn them despite being in full sun for most of the time. And I had to ask her 3 times before she even went to her car to get the hats. Am very unimpressed but biting my tongue.
I find visitors really don't get the strength of the sun thing sometimes. Whenever my lovely sil and bil visit, they go out in the garden during the first couple of days, during the hottest bit of the day and lie there stretching out their arms and legs to get as much sun as possible - the way you see people doing on ther lunch hour on a sunny day in the UK. After about 20 minutes they come in looking really surprised and saying "wow, the sun's really strong isn't it!"
Oh I agree WSS, I've been preparing my parents for it.
The thing is though MIL is a Kiwi, so I would have thought she'd know better.
Anyway, lesson learnt. Next time I won't trust her to put their hats on when they go in the sun, I'll put them on myself before I leave.
even if they are inside
I have to say, with my Irish skin I'm very wary of the sun here. It really is incredibly strong.
That's fairly basic stuff, I'd be cross too.
I've bit my lip so much it's bleeding at this stage. DD1 slightly burnt on cheeks & scalp, DD2 on cheeks.
Oh, and for anyone looking for Christmas decorations I can recommend Kmart. You can even get pink and purple decorations
thanks DH and DD1 They cost half nothing & are pretty decent quality.
Excellent. We were meant to do Xmas tree stuff this afternoon when boys were at respite but we have both collapsed asleep on the sofa. Too late now I think!
Vvviola- that sounds so annoying. How long do you need to bite for?
I've had my first experience of out of hours drs today. Waited about 5 mins but it cost $97! Really wish I had seen my GP on Friday now. I think I have a UTI- all the symptoms and blood in my urine but every time I've had one of these the test has come back negative. Dr gave me antibiotics anyway though.
Under 6's seen free though which is nice to know.
Well, permanently I suppose
She's not staying with us or anything, and it's actually DH I'm biting my tongue with, as I don't think a rant starting "your bloody mother" will help matters, when he essentially agrees with me but is a bit calmer about the whole thing
Those planning to have a real tree - we normally put ours up quite close to Christmas as in the heat they can dry out/start to die quite quickly. Well, not that it's particularly hot today but you know what I mean.
My other piece of advice is don't have a chocolate Santa on top of the tree and the tree in full sunlight as I did the second or third year I was here...melted Santa all over the floor
I've just been looking up Carols by Candlelight/Christmas nights at libraries etc. Starting to feel quite Christmassy now
ooh Christmas nights?
Ha ha at biting tongue at DH. Yes I know what you mean, it is the politics of it all.
Er, well it's more late afternoon/early evening than nights really, two of our local libraries have 5-6pm Christmas song and story sessions. There are a few carols by candlelight in various parks in the evenings. And I'm prob going to Christmas in the Park next week but more as a child-free catch up with friends than to see the various Shorty St stars on stage in Santa hats
Ooh (dashes off to check)
We have our tree up. It moults, every year, and we say "we really MUST replace it." Then we put it away for another year.
Sorry to interrupt but wondered if I could find out some info? Haven't been home for a gazillion years and we were thinking of getting some NZ dollars on one of those prepaid atm cards you can buy (are they any good?).
My main question being-are NZ atm's still mainly free or do they charge you for withdrawing cash??
I don't get charged for using my own bank's ATM but if I use a different bank I get charged ($1 a time I think). I'm not sure about the prepaid cards, sorry.
Thanks-I am guessing they will charge then. Hmmm-maybe take cash then?
I haven't read anything, but can I just say this,
And if anyone wants to stroke my
nitty hair while I weep, that would be nice
Haha, I was wondering where you were AB.
So <innocent face> how's it going with your mum then?
there there <stroke, stroke>
Had a huge row today. Lots of blame (directed at me) How Mum couldn't take anymore. NZ just brought back bad memories. She is still grieving for her grandaughter and I get pregnant again weeks afterwards? ("How you could even have sex, I don't know") There must be something wrong with me mentally. Am I emotionally blackmailing dh? At which point I say to dh "dh, do you want another baby?" dh says "yep"
It all got far worde after that. Things were said.
It was not good.
I am driking wine
urgh, sounds bad, sorry if I was a bit flippant asking.
And at the end of the day, it's your life, it's not up to her when or if you get pregnant. She can't actually run your life for you. It's not her right.
And here I was thinking the nits had come back already [equally flippant and inappropriate]
I think for good or for worse, at this distance meeting-times are just so intense. All the normal conversations and silences and undertones are sort of forced into the open because people feel the pressure of so little time to say what they want.
But that doesn't excuse the things your mum said, which were way over the line of fairness and decency!
Ach, don't worry about flippancy. You lot make me laugh, and I need that!
I need some help with something.
I have always had to walk on eggshells with my (older) brother. He has always had a temoer but Mum has always made excuses for him.
If anyone remembers, he said to me when Mum came to visit the last time and my Gran started to fail, "You are the one who fucked off for a better life. You no longer get a say in what happens here"
We had a huge fallin out, but have made up since. he is really immature and relies on Mum a a lot.
Mum has only been here a few days and he has already skyped, whinging that he has a hernia, and is scheduled for op in 3 weeks "they are going to cut me up and it's xmas!" his dp has to "do everything" for him and their child (boo fucking hoo) honestly, it is pathetic.
I sent him a text saying, hope you are ok, miss you xx
He sent one back saying....Am in lots of pain, but taking painkillers, dp has to do everything which I feel awful about. ds has cold and just been sick. Would be nice if mum was here to help. I hope you realise how your decision to emigratehas inmpacted on other people. It is your life choice, but we all pay a price for it xx
I am fucking seething. He has ONE child. A dp and a MIL round the corner. But, he wants my mum to come and fawn all over him and his bloody hernia and look after child with cold? He is 38 by the way!
He has NO fucking idea what it is really like to cope on your own. Since we have been here, well you know what we have been through. Apart from all things horrific, have had the most awful bout of tonsilitius where I could barely lift my head from the pillow, and I had to look after THREE young children ALONE.No choice. DIdn't moan.
It's a joke.
What do I reply? DO I reply at all? Mum has asked me to "be the bigger person" and not say anything. That is what I have always had to do all my life.
I don't want to cause another shit storm.
Suppose I'm just letting off steam
Oh god this is so resonant of my family
(selfish hijack alert)
my brother has been horribly rude and offensive to me for years and somehow I am/was supposed to just put up with it "because you don't realise how much you are loved"
I don't have a solution
Except that I find minimising contact to a polite but impersonal level the
only best solution.
Oh - and I think YES you can reply BUT you will set off a bigger shitstorm and you need to be prepared to deal with that, because if you say boo to this particular goose the next tactic will probably be refusing to be in contact at all, at least for a bit.
- also - both avoiding and seeking conflict in these situations can itself be a dysfunctional pattern - work out what you want to to, what your mother wants you to do, and what you NEED to do. Then do the latter. Which may be doing the same as your mother wants but for different reasons. Or it may be telling him exactly what you told us. Whatever, don't give too much time and emotional energy to him.
bloody HELL AB!!!!!
I can't believe what you're having to deal with, on both maternal and fraternal fronts!!!
Agree totally with wise-woman justa
I personally would be LONGING to reply to my brother in your situation, but think the course of wisdom is just leaving well alone - you're never going to change him or his strange and self-centred attitudes, clearly, so you need to muster all your inner strength and resources to rise above this bullshit you are being served up.
It is amazing how people think it's all about them, isn't it?!
Big hugs to ya - hope you get through the rest of your mum's visit okay. I still remember melting down in front of my parents when they visited us in Perth and accusing them of 'sitting in silent judgement of me and my parenting' - that went down well there is definitely a pressure-cooker effect when one lives so far away and then sees people for a short and incredibly intense period of time, as has been said above!!
Lots of love to you all xxx
Oh no ... blardy families!! Hugs to you AB and some too. On one level being in NZ keeps you away from the usual family shite, but when it hits you in the face it so much more intense than when you ahve to deal with it day to day.
On a completely different tack ... isn't hot? I literally melted walking home form work today. The flipping Court still has it's air conditioning on fridge temperatures so I have to wear tights to keep warm in Court, then I walk home in a black dress and jacket, tights and stupid high heels. Good excuse to have a cold from the fridge when I get home though
PS AB LOVED those 'xx' at the end of your bro's text by the way
Sorry for terrible grammar/spelling etc was a bit drunk and trying to get everything out!
I think I won't reply. There is nothing I can trust myself to say,so I'll say nothing.
meerkate I know, I laughed at the xx too! It's like, I'm going to slag you off and say horrid things to you, but if I put some xx at the end, it's all fine!
shels That's not ideal is it?! Can't you nip into the loo before you leave and remove your tights?!
Honestly the more I hear about the way families behave around emigration time the more I think that contact should be prohibited for the entire first year
Oh, and whhilst we are on the subject of families in the UK, I thought I would share my brilliant present-giving idea [modest]
Amazon are doing Christmas hampers and bags filled with goodies. I am sending one to my mother and asking her to distribute the bounty around the family.
Sorry underthemountain do you mean a cash passport thing? My Mum uses one of those and I had one here for a few months (which Mum had loaded with money for me) used it until it ran out. I don't think it charged me, but it was a pain as I couldn't check the balance on it.
So everytime I used it I squirmed thinking "Is there anything left on this?!" Didn't want to be rejeced at the till
Good idea about the Amazon Christmas hampers. We only buy for kids in our family and I always just get everything from Amazon anyway as postage is free for anything over £5.
I have just been tipped off by a mum at school that there are FREE PHOTOS WITH SANTA at Harvey Normans. Check out their website!
Oh AB I'm do sorry your mum is being difficult and insensitive and your DB is being a dick. Don't reply - you won't achieve anything other than fuelling a fight with you- he's cross and he wants you to know it but probably riding on the general malcontent with your decision and it's easy to cast you as the family villain when you're not present.
If its any consolidation SIL said on Skype to DH that he had no idea of what she'd been left with (talking about the upset of their parents). DH just pretended he didn't hear. I feel cross - maybe I'm being selfish but what do we do? Move back, sit on their sofa and make ourselves unhappy just because they can't grow up and accept DH is an adult with his own life and family now? I wish they could all accept it and try and be happy. Obviously your mum situation is really distressing as its in your face and slightly insensitive on her part given what you've been through. My DH now reticent to Skype as he's such passive aggression off his lot.
Yes I think that actually all the "oh it's so much easier now we have Skype and email and texting stuff" is not the whole story. It is far, far easier, for families to send jibes and make snarky comments to you when you are overseas than it was. And it's easier for you to reply - whereas twenty years ago, even if you HAD been sent a snotty letter, you would have time to think before you responded. Whereas in fact the worst of both worlds is lots of unpleasant contact.
I just don't know why people think it's their place to say things like this!
I said to Mum "How many people emigrate every week? Do you think their families emotional bully them for over a year?It is not NORMAL!"
I reeled off a few of my school friends that emigrated last year too, and told her they do not get the grief I do. She said "well maybe they arae not as cherished as you, aren't you lucky that you are so adored?"
Oh yes, you make me feel SOOOOOOOOOOOO special!!
She told me that it was because they love me so much, and miss me so much.
I told her that it's not because db loves and misses me, it was because he can't abide being inconvenienced. And when Mum is here, it is a masssive inconvenience to him.
Also jealousy is a huge factor with him.
(mum denies this and says he would never settle here, having been here, she knows this!
Maybe he wouldn't settle here, but he is envious that I have done something brave.
He always used to talk about emigrating, but never had the balls to do it.
Then he met his dp and had dn, so he is stuck now.
Definitely a part of what is going on as far as I'm concerned.
lolly your dh's family is so silly. How can they not see how that behaviour will push him away?!
it's either too much contact or no contact isn't it? My DB will not skype us or telephone us at all - he says he cannot cope with the emotion of it all - neither will he visit us - says the flight is too long - he's under 40 FFS! In meantime my DS misses his uncle dreadfully and can't understand why we never hear from him.
We've been getting the tears and comments from family this morning. It is DS's birthday, so phone calls made to say thank you for presents before going off to school .... ahh well, smile deep breath and onwards and upwards!
Anyone else doing the Kidscan santa run this afternoon?
"I reeled off a few of my school friends that emigrated last year too, and told her they do not get the grief I do. She said "well maybe they arae not as cherished as you, aren't you lucky that you are so adored?"
Oh yes, you make me feel SOOOOOOOOOOOO special!!"
This is EXACTLY what my mother and siblings do! I have lost count of the number of emails I have had recently that end "in the hope that you will realise how much you are loved"
AAARGH. (Sorry, hijack)
I think it is really common. A friend of ours lives in the English bit of the main city - St Heliers - and she knows a lot of English families, she says she has not met one yet that has not been bullied for leaving.
And sorry for your crappy phone calls shels.
Sorry you are all getting a hard time from the families. It's funny how people thinking being mean to us/you is going to encourage you to move back, rather than driving you further away.
We've been quite lucky but still get comments- mainly about DD- 'it's a shame you are so far away' etc. Which I find quite annoying from MIL who lived overseas herself.
I look at DD having a blast on the beach, barefoot and carefree, and I can't see how moving back would be good for her. It feel like a choice between her future and the family sometimes.
I look at DD having a blast on the beach, barefoot and carefree, and I can't see how moving back would be good for her. It feel like a choice between her future and the family sometimes.
That sums up my feelings so exactly, it is eerie.
Was just about to post that too Justabout. Well said Littlest - that's exactly it. This country is not my home yet but it's absolutely the best place for my kids in my mind.
I agree. But my Mum said to me yeasterday "I look at an atlas and see this tiny bloody counrty on the other side of the WORLD, and I think (grabs hair in dramatic fashion) WHAT t e HELL is going ON! (cries)
This was in a coffee shop, said loudly. Rather embarrassing.
She then went on to say how bored she was here. There was "nothing" she feels frustrated at the infastrucure. Lack of public transport, blah blah.
She can't see what there is here for the kids then said loudly, holding my wrists "They will leave here, love, they will leave! There is nothing to stay for. They will realise that there is a great big world out there, not just this piddly little place, and then they will leave"
I pointed out that the UK was also, a piddly little Island.
And that (shock horror) people can actually have careers here, and travel/go on hols! It doesn't mean you have failed at life if you live in NZ!
Then we had the pregnancy stuff again.
Anyway, dd is moving schools. I have taken all I can and I can't takes no more!
(or whatever it is!)
I have visited 6 schools this week with Mother dearest, and have made the decision. Just about to ring the Principal now.
Poor dd though, she is only 6 and this will be her 3rd school
We are lucky, we have never had any grief for being here. I know my mil feels sad as her only grandchildren are here but, to her credit, she has never given us a hard time about it. I used to think she was a bit of a pain but the more I read the more I think she's not so bad really!
Can't solve the mother problem but I can solve the school angst.
DS1 began at his third school at 6 when we moved here.
BEST THING WE EVER DID. He is SO much happier. Just from what you have said about the school in the past I think you are doing the right thing.
Also - my mil visits for 4-6 weeks every year and the way I look at it, that is prob the same amount of time she would see the dcs if we were in the Uk.
They live in a very expensive part of the south-east and we could probably not even afford a shoebox anywhere round there. So we would be living miles away anyway - leaving visits to what, a few weekends and Christmas? Which would probably add up to about 4-6 weeks a year!
AB - im very conscious with 4 boys I will lose a few of them to different countries when they are adults. I do think there is maybe less to keep them jobwise and they will do OEs and meet women from Australia, China, UK BUT I feel I will have given them a great childhood and they are not mine to keep-I just have the privilege of looking after them whilst their little. BUT I could have lived in UK and if it continues the way it has in the last few years it's likely they may have left there too. But I know you know all this and I'm preaching to converted. I think this is where MIL, SIL and I fundamentally differ. They believe DH belongs to them and I don't believe my children are mine to control when they're adults.
Good luck with the school btw. If you feel it's right in your gut go with it. Kids are very adaptable.
I've been here 10 years and my family still gives me grief constantly. My sister has visited once (8 years ago and said 'it's boring' - she came in our winter). She is now only interested in skyping as she has a 6 month old (has never bothered before). My parents and brother have never visited and never skype. Very sad for my boys IMO but their loss (my families). We do however speak on the phone every other day!
We're v lucky I think. My parents were very upset when we moved & when we said we were going Mum refused to talk about it for about 6 months. But she is fiercely protective of her relationship with DDs (especially DD1), so it was never going to stay like that.
They've just arrive for 2 months. It's total, wonderful chaos in our house right now.
ask me again how I feel about it in about 6 weeks time!
MIL on the other hand, when we lived in Europe was a lot more difficult, which I found particularly infuriating as DH was living in the UK with no intention of returning to NZ when I met him, and had been there nearly 10 years...
What lollystix said in a nutshell. I don't own my children. I am bringing them up in the place I think is right for them to have a fabulous childhood. From there on, it's not my call.
Sibble - how sad!
and Vvviola - good luck with the next two months. Do you think it helps that you are only planning to be here for two or three years?
yes. what lollystix said. exactly that.
hows this for weird though. DH and I are expat brats. which means that BOTH sets of our parents have lived all over the world with us as kids.
so you would think thats the perfect set up. that they would be understanding, supportive, a great source of advice etc etc given they did exactly the same thing at the same age as DH and I now are.
not so much
MIL last night, how can you doooo thiiiiiiisssssss, we will never see you again etc etc etc. bearing in mind we havent lived on the same continent, let alone country in 15 years!!!!
i genuinely cant get my head around it. didnt stress her when we lived in various war torn middle eastern or african countries, but new zealand? much clutching of pearls and what about the children.
she keeps going on about how far it is, and she is right, it is, but they are going to be living with us for 6 months of the year anyway. which is 6 bloody months more than they have ever seen us in the last 15 years!!!
sorry, i could rant on about this for ages
Oh, frik, I feel your pain. BOTH my parents were migrants. So I just assumed that when I decided to live in NZ with my fiance (as in, tell them we would move one day) they would be supportive.
Ha ha ha ha (bitter)
It is the opposite in a way I think - having done without their own extended family they are over-invested in their children.
And they are going to be living with you for 6 months of the year????? In the same house?????
both sets are
its going to be
OMG frik - not sure what's worse no visit for 10 years or 6 months with both (although that's not an option as dhs parents are both dead) I have usually fallen out with my mother about 2 hours after arriving in the UK which results in her dictating something and me digging my heels in and have a 5 year old style tantrum . I can't imagine her living here for 6 months. In my dreams my parents visit but stay a 10 minute drive away. When I moan that they have never been dh always chants - be careful of what you wish for!
Oh my goodness. Think we should rename this thread the frik support thread immediately!
snorting out loud at urgent renaming of 'frik support thread' - brilliant - i second that totally! frik, you are a better woman than me - by a factor of a zillion or thereabouts! hats off to ya
i second all the sensible sentiments on here about adaptability of children, freedom to do their own thing once grown, and lunacy of extreme reaction of extended family members!
AB - my kids have survived 4 schools so far in their short lives, I tell myself it's character-building seriously - don't worry about it, especially at 6 - the adjustment period is relatively short at that age, I found, and the right school makes such a huge difference to them, as we all know Your mother is something else by the way she sounds highly entertaining in a flamboyant way (if you don't happen to be related to her, that is)!!! Stay strong
PS sibble - I totally know what's worse - and it's not 'no visit for ten years'
Wow, biiiiig thunderstorm just hit here, torrential rain, I'm amazed we've still got Internet as we've lost both Sky and radio reception.
WWS- there has been a tornado out west. Hope you are safe!
Yep, just heard about that! Tornado was in Hobsonville, much further west than where I am. Sounds like there have been some fatalities
This tornado is scary. Hit Hobsonville, we're in greenhithe, 15mins away from there. It's loud, the house is shaking, we're all cuddled up in my bedroom (closest room to the floor)
Tv gone, I'm surprised we still have Internet as well. We've closed the curtains and I'm refusing to look outside.
Did I mention it's LOUD.
Ps: xMinerva here by the way.
Just been on the radio they're advising people in west Auckland to stay indoors this afternoon in case of more storms/tornadoes...I have to go get dd1 from school but it's pretty calm here now, just some rain.
Take care all your Westies...It was scary enough driving south on the motorway in the rain let alone tornadoes as well. Very scary.
Rain and thunder stopped now, don't think I'll need to top up the pool for a while.
Air is much cooler too.
Hey you, good to see all the Westies checking in. Just about to telephone DH's aunt in Hobsonville, hoping the phone line is working.
hope everyone made it safe through the tornado! goodness, but weather in NZ certainly seems....exciting....
actual real laugh out loud at the renaming of the thread whats so funny is you all dont even know the half of it!
DH and I are completely and totally aware of lunacy of the plan.
but like many things in our lives, we dont actually have much option with the living arrangements, so are choosing to be madly optimistic and enthusiastic in the face of almost certain disaster.
at the very least my new found friends, there is likely to be a neverending source of amusement and horror unfolding on here for your entertainment
frik- will look forward to the tales of madness. You are undoubtedly a better human than me by a million miles.
If either my parents or PIL suggested this I would move to Antarctica to escape them.
Glad all are safe. It seems a bit unreal that those poor men have died so close by.
Christ frick, how did that get agreed upon??!
The very best to you, and you never know, it may work out ok!
Glad everyone is ok. How scary.
I have had friends visiting from the UK in a camper van and they were heading up to Aukland, was worried about them.
Ok, need some help here. Dh is having an issue at work.
He took some time off and a woman thatwas covering his work is pissed off at the amount she has had to do.
Hard to elaborate without giving too much away.
Upshot is, nasty email to dh, and also cc'd him in on another email to someone else, slagging him off.
Also seems like she has openly slagged him off in the office.
This is the problem, she is senior member of staff (more senior than him) and it seems as though she is one of these people that thrives on confrontation.
She will talk very loudly until everybody else stops talking and she is the victor!
(kind of like, I'll scream and scream until Im sick!)
She is the stereotypical american, really loud and ultra confident and WILL have her own way.
Dh is not happy at all about what has been said, but hates confrontation.
He is trying to arrange a meeting with the Boss, but she has got in there first and put her angle on it.
Gah. Internet ate my
insanely long post.
AB: not sure as I hate confrontation myself, but starting point would probably be showing boss the emails?
justa hope DH's aunt checked in & is ok. And answering question from ages back: yes is probably easier for my family knowing we'll be back in a few years, but think they are still worried we'll change our minds and stay.
frik you are either a saint or nuts I'd find a way to manage my parents for that long. But MIL...?
Weather still pretty unpleasant here, listening to rain batter against windows . Hope everyone is ok and it doesn't get scary again.
Thanks DD2 for the pleasure of being able to observe the middle of the night weather
Yes, she did, thank you for asking.
AB - I think the only way to respond to this is to shout back. (not literally). Don't let DH be all British and understated and hope it will blow over if he ignores it. But I might be talking crap!
Sorry, justa,yes, glad she is ok.
He has the emails printed off to show boss.
Being all British,well, Irish, abaout it is the thing. Also, she is high up in the chain of command and has worked with the boss in other jobs. Dh, in comparison is fairly new, so doesn't want to rock the boat.
He will have to say something though. If he allows this to go unchallenged it could damage his professional reputation.
She seems quite willing to bad mouth people colleagues openly to people from other agencies, in email and over the phone.
She really sounds quite revolting.
But incredibly, well respected.
So, difficult for dh to approach.
I hate stressy work situations!
Ds1 has his first school visit today! Am quite excited.
Haven't told dd she is leaving other school yet, I don't want to make it a big deal.
I feel like a weight has been lifted though. I had visitors (complete with camper van!) from the Uk yesterday. Both teachers, they read the mission statement and prospectus and thought it looked really good!
Ds2's face was a picture when he saw my male friend, he has a beard and tattoos...he looked a bit like this infact exactly like that, he had his santa hat on!
oh, I ruined that joke dammit! It was supoosed to be this...
AB - the politics of work are just exhausting. I've had a week of it and it's playground stuff. I do find the style is quite hierarchical and direct (aggressive at times) And unacceptable behaviour in characters is tolerated alot more.
For DH I would schedule meet with boss and take emails in back pocket. Put case forward that he thinks he's in awkward position and infer that her behaviour could be conceived as bullying as she undermines him publicly, explain the extent of the work she picked up in his absence (she will have made it seem more) and ask boss for feedback on how boss perceives DHs performance. Calm, constructive and positive throughout. Boss will know this woman is strong (difficult) so I should imagine he/she will see the bigger picture.
If anyone needs cheap nappies, Baby Online are currently doing two boxes for the price of one on DryUps (they're decent enough nappies, I've bought them for four years and never had problems with them). It makes them about half the price of even the Countdown Home Brand ones.
lolly totally. In some ways, NZ is great because it is "England 20 years ago". In other ways that's the problem.
The racism. The mysogism. The "bullying" personalities in the workplace. Very Uk in the 80's. Just would not be tolerated now.
I think Dh knows that his boss will understand that that is "just her", but it's sooooo annoying!
Why the hell should she be allowed to use woek as her own little playground?
Apparantly she sits in her office yelling "WHAT the FUCK, ohhh MAN, Fuck this SHIIIT!" She sounds really horrible, and I think people are just scared of being on her radar.
She is experienced and intelligent, but a vile egomaniac.
Anyway, how everyone?
that's very interesting. I haven't encountered any of this but then I am not at work so I guess I woulnd't.
We are fine. Christmas shopping done with the boys yesterday. Phew. That's something I don't have to deal with for another year. Apparently DS3 said that what I wanted for Christmas was "wipes." He is right, I guess, I do storm round the house shouting about needing them all the bloody time.
DS1 has purloined my Kindle to read an Enid Blyton on it that I downloaded for nostalgia's sake ages ago. Very exciting as he has had a phobia of Enid blyton (why????? does he hate pixies??? this is not in the books about Aspergers!) for a while.
Oooh yes, good old Enid. I got dd The Wishing Chair collection
so I could read it. Not very PC is she? She'd fit right in here!
Wipes for Xmas, mmm, exotic
I got on my bike yesterday and realised why some cyclists wear those rather unflattering padded shorts.
Me bum bones are bruised after my epic cycle the other day!
check out us in the Herald today...
Anybody else finding it really hard to work in this beautiful weather. Have some reports that need to be finished by tomorrow, ds1 off school already and has friend here. Got up early to make a start, am hoping to finish early afternoon, pick ds2 up then head to the beach for a swim. Trouble is concentrating when my book and sun-lounger are calling
This is soooooo cute!
Aww, Sibble that's lovely. St Paul's Church on Symonds Street is a really great place, I've been to a couple of services when I've been in Auckland for the weekend.
Well, DH is now on summer holidays. He treated me to lunch today and I came to home to find loads of cleaning had been done and dinner was nearly ready ... after 20 years the training has started to show
is that the cathedral? (clueless)
Jealous of shelscrape's DH. Can we swap?
Sorry have no idea where it is, somebody facebooked it to me and I just thought it was tooooo cute!
St Paul's is close to the University on Symonds Street, just of Wellesley Street. Here they are DH thinks they do some of the best coffee in Auckland ....
What's everyone doing for Xmas dinner?
<That's not an invite by the way!>
We're having 3 friends and their 4 kids round for Christmas dinner. We're having lamb and salady stuff as main meal. And something crayfishy to start with (dh is cooking it all, he's a good cook). Last year we had "meringue and cream and berries for afters" according to me (northerner) or "Eton mess for dessert" according to him (southerner!). Then some nice cheeses. And lots of booze while all the kids (6 this year) play in the garden.
We're going to have a bBQ on the beach with some friends.
Sounds lovely! We are having a barbie in the gsrden. Dh will have to go towork at 2 but nevermind, at least Mum is here.
I don't know what to do on the bnq that is "special" though. Mum wanted the traditional roast turkey meal (not on the barbie obvs!) but has changed her mind now the temperature has upped!
I'm thinking turkey and bacon kebabs, cubed garlic potatoes...but what else?
This for "afters" wss www.taste.com.au/recipes/26426/strawberries+n+cream+trifle
Good article justa the issue definitely needed highlighting. Still any believe they thought they could get away with it. When do you see it?
Christmas: well ours is going to be a bit of a free for all. Invites have been sent to all the people at dp's work that will be on their own for Christmas. One definite and he's really great with the boys, as in they cling to her when she comes round so I get a break.
Will do the morning as usual, stockings on bed, breakfast then the dc main/joint presents which will be set up in the playroom. Christmas lunch of a BBQ, just because it's easy to add extra if extra people turn up, and pool (did think about the beach but dp would like to have a few drinks, will go to the beach on Boxing Day) then the dc can open rest of presents in the afternoon sometime. Not sure what we'll have on the BBQ yet, bit of everything I suppose. Home made Baileys cheesecakes for desert though. Yum.
We go to the beach so up early for present, then 'Santa' comes round on a firetruck will lollies for the kids drinking beer and squirting everybody with water (very kiwi as it's only about 8.30 am!)
Lunch - smoked salmon, light salad and other seafood.
Early dinner (too hot to eat at lunchtime) Chicken, duck, stuffing, yorkshires, roast pots, veggies - whatever the weather. Dessert as yet undecided boys will choose but definitely cheese and fruit, and after eight mints!!! Yum.....We'll just eat it out on the deck under the sun umbrella with views of the sea, river and sand dunes instead of inside with the heating on full
During the day we'll swim, boogie board, play tennis and hopefully catch up with friends.
That sounds really lovely everyone.
bobby how nice of you to include people on their own, so kind of you
I could have sworn I replied earlier, but obviously the Internet ate it. (On a side note: ggrrr Telecom)
crazily doing the full turkey dinner.
So Santa presents in the morning, rest of the presents after breakfast (I need some creative ideas for a nice light breakfast). Then possibly a wander by the beach. Dinner at about 4, followed by collapsing on the deck in a heap. And then around 10, turkey sandwiches, tea & Christmas cake during a
highly competitive friendly game of scrabble.
There will be turkey, ham, random veg, Brussels sprouts if I can find them (DD1 made me promise), bread sauce, cranberry sauce, mince pies, pavlova and trifle. We will be unable to eat for at least a week after
Mary Poppins was brilliant. absolutelybrilliant. Thank goodness!
Ok back to usual name.
Thanks AB I just couldn't imagine being completely on my own at Christmas and the guys at dp's work are all lovely, so what's a few more people. It'll be a party. And we'll still get our little family alone time in the morning.
That Sounds lovely vvv Drooling just reading it.
Glad you enjoyed the show justa. Suppose it makes up for all the crap over ticket prices.
Found a Kindy for ds1. He'll start in the new term now. 31st Jan. he's very excited.
Oh hooray. Which kindy is it?
DS1 is playing outside on the drive in his wheelchair with nextdoor neighbour's little girl. They are doing races, she has a scooter and he his wheels. Down the drive. Very nice to see.
Oaktree, Browns Bay? Ds1 was well away as soon as we walked in
Ahhhh that sounds lovely. And a good drive you have for it too.
Oh, lovely. I think vviola used one in BB.
ditto Mary Poppins being brilliant being brilliant. We went Tuesday. Boys didn't like it, not helped by the fact we'd bought the family tickets and were up in the Gods, but I absolutely loved it.
It was interesting - we were down in the stalls - and almost no children there, just lots and lots of adults, mainly elderly. They all seemed to enjoy it. I'm not surprised. The dancing! Beautiful setpieces.
Argggg, can anyone help?
Ds2 asked grandparents for a baby and pram for Christmas. They have sent the money over and I'm supposed to buy and wrap the presents for them.
Can I find a cheap dolls stroller that isn't bloody pink? Noooo. All the red/blue ones are $$$ and I just want a big standard $15/$20 stroller like I've seen in warehouse and K Mart, just not pink. Anyone have any ideas?
We got a red and yellow one from K Mart, it was part of a set that had a high chair and swing, change bag etc with it. I'm guessing they don't have that one in stock anymore - it was about a six piece set for around $40.
Aha!! This blue one is at the Early Learning Centre, they have a shop in Newmarket.
Mind you, it says it's sold out online. You may need to call them to see if they have any more.
Need to pick brains. Dh has been having a series of interviews with an Oz company. They have more or less offered him the job. They are planning on him working from home for a 6 week trial. To see if both parties are happy.
This is a big thing.
We have just moved, enroled the older kids in new school, had settling in days etc.
DO we want to move to Aukland? (tell me all the great things and reasons why we would)
Can we AFFORD to live in Aukland?
He will be on about 90k+, we could ask for more.Could we live on that up there?
They have also inferred that there might be part time work for me at some point. (Similar line of work to dh)
I do worry about loads of things around living up there.
I know we've kind of been here before, but now it's really a possibility.
Job is CBD,2 streets from Harbour.
Hmm,well I really like Auckland, it has its pluses and minuses though
It's a big city, wel, not in worldwide terms but in NZ tms, so there is, I think, plenty going on socially, culturally - festivals, gigs, free music in parks, free outdoor cinema, kids stuff, swimming pools, theatre, art galleries etc etc. Just look ate site like Eventfinder and compare what's on in Auckland to other cities.
Despite being big, there are loads of quieter, rural ish areas within reach of the city, regional parks, loads and loads of lovely beaches. The Waitakere ranges, west coast beaches, regional parks like Ambury, Scandrett, Mahurangi, loads more, etc etc. all within easy reach of the city.
I think it's more mixed culturally than small NZ towns, there are probably about 20 different nationalities at my dd's primary, which is great.
Weather is generally pretty mild, can rain a lot but also pretty much guaranteed a good summer (ignoring this year!)
Well, it's a big city! Traffic has got considerably worse since I moved here 11 years ago and it will continue to get worse. You can look at living near a train line (only 2 train lines, one goes east then south and one goes west) or look at commuting from the Shore on the dedicated bus lane - driving to the CBD is getting busier and busier all the time. Thoug would your dh be doing unusual hours as if so the commute may not be so bad. we are 20 mins off peak to CBD and it takes dh 30-40 mins if he leaves by 7.30 but could take an hour if he left later. Admittedly that doesn't sound too bad compared to some Uk commutes!
The other big minus is house prices. I'd say getting a house in a decent area for less than 500K is becoming increasingly difficult and for the nicer areas you're looking at more like 700K+. And it won't be a house with any land...it will be a decent sized house with a smallish garden (probably).
Oh bit of an essay, never mind. 90K is doable but tight, depends how much is going on a house. Would be better with another income, even if only part time.
Thanks wss, I was glad of the essay,actually. I need indepth replies.
This is a big decision. I don't want to get it wrong.
The house thing really puts me off.
We have a biggish 4 bed here with fairly big gardens front and back.
If 90k is going to be tight, there is no point I don't think.
Things are tight here, but at least we have a decent house and garden.
He has to reply by 3pm.
fuckity fuck, what do we doooooooo??
Also - although housing costs are higher here I think the other living costs are the same or less. Power, phone, Internet, rates etc should be the same or even cheaper than elsewhere (e.g. Phone/ Internet packages are sometimes cheaper in the bigger cities). Urban council rates are often less than rural rates. I have heard that becaue there is more competition here as there are more shops, prices of goods can be lower than elsewhere in the country.
Rents in Auckland have really gone up a lot in the last few years...it's a tough call.
To rent a 4 bed in Auckland - I think from about $500 per week in a "ok, not flash, not terrible" sort of area. In the really nice areas - who knows? 700? 800? I don't want to put you off because I think it can be a great place to live but I want to be realistic. A fair whack of dh's salary goes on our mortgage...mind you, I do a lot of stuff for free with the kids (thoug they may not be as happy with just the free stuff as they get older!)
Well here is the search I just did in Glenfield - which is an average suburb -for four-bed houses for rent.
Can you afford that? Other than rent everything is the same. You won't have to pay rates as you rent. I think you need to think of the future, do you want to work part-time, that would lift your salary significantly I would think.
Is your dh keen to move to Auckland AB? Weren't you thinking of Tauranga?
We did want Tauranga,yes. But willing to give Aukland a try.
I just dont want to drag the kdis all over the country. It's unfair. They've had enough upheaval and upset.
It's the lack of garden that puts me off. The kids love cycling around the house.
What about Waheke?
Dh going to try and negotiate more money,but i think he is tempted anyway.
He would be the boss and theres the chance to travel abroad.
Gah,don't know don't know!
Your kids are young enough that dragging them all over is fine. Garden - well it depends where you are. Glenfield houses tend to have decent gardens. Not so much in East NS, St Heliers etc.
Waiheke doable, DH would need a monthly commuter ferry ticket.
Oh I don't know justa, now that theyve started school it's a different ball game.
Good to know about Glenfield. Do you find it crowded there?
No, not at all, it is green and lovely. Lots of parks and bush.
Honestly, school for the first couple of years is not as set in stone as it feels.
I would definitely recommend living in Auckland. But I have never lived in small-town NZ so it's hard for me to compare.
Oh and you could get a garden. It's just not "loads of land to keep chickens on and grow veggies on" which I think is what you were looking for at one point? Our house and land are on 600 sq metres and the garden is plenty big enough for the kids....we have trampoline, swings and slide, sandpit, paddling pool, fruit trees etc etc.
You could look howick and bucklands beach way and DH could ferry in. For you you'd get your more rural feel and land without being too far away. Pretty over there.
I like this city - love the diversity and liveliness about it and it doesn't feel threatening. We rent a 4 bed for $775 but really we could do a 3 bed as top 3 in one room and baby in another and them is. Know your mum comes lots but if she did you could put your three in together.
It's not cheap but I don't think NZ generally is. We struggle with good wages but we have big rent and nanny overheads (weep). After rent and nanny I have $10 a month for me and we live off DHs salary. People friendly here too. And you'll know me!!!
Well that's a big plus I'd like to be included in the meet ups.
Would really like to actually know you guys!
Ok, so this is the state of play as it stands.
Dh has told them that he has reconsiderd and we couldn't survive in Auk. on 90k.
He said he could tell an eyebrow or two were raised but he carried on.
He proposed that that they complete the trial period to check that both parties were happy, and then renegotiate the salrry and look at 100k.
They said ok.
I think we have decided that if they meet this, or close, we will move up.
But where is the question!
And I feel absolutley shit about the children.
They are all set to start this new school, and are dead excited about it, ahve seen classrooms and met teachers etc. And they will haev to start there as trial period is only starting in Jan.
We will have to buy uniforms etc and settle them in, and then bloody move AGAIN!
I am fucking them up?
as an afterthought:
Would any of you consider Waiheke? Or is it insanity?
Sorry for typos. Have 3 meals on the go and am battering this out quickly! Also, internet connection in this house is frustratingly hit and miss! So,sorry for delay.
Oh, also, don't know if I have mentioned. THey asked what I did and dh told them used to work for BBC and they said there might be part time for me in a broadcast/editorial capacity. That would be pretty good.
Although I think because of (let's refer to it as) The Difficult Time, I have develpoed a sort of agrophobia...not a acually that but a paranoia of new thins/places.
I would slap myslef and get over that and get my arse in gear if need be.
That would be good anyway, would like to help in the money making
Tbh lots of folk do live on 90k or less in Auckland but if you can get it to 100k even better!
Where? Oh it's so big and spread out...you can't go wrong with most of the North Shore
Some of west and south is nice but you have already been warned off I believe .
Can you give us rough budget for renting and we can start property
porning searching for you. Like justabout says, everything else should cost the same
Got to go, off out for drinks
ooh how exciting.
Waiheke - don't buy at first. Rent for a bit first. Lots of people go for a year or so then decide to move back to the mainland. So I have heard.
I've considered Waiheke but OH does out of hours work that requires him to be in Auckland. If we win the lotto we will by a bach there though.
What would 100 k be per week after tax? We spend 42% of our basic income on our mortgage which is tight. I've done some work which has helped with paying for holidays and our trip back to the UK.
What would happen with your visa AB?
Does anyone here do any consultancy work? I've been doing some which has ended up being by the hour- a 2 hour meeting followed by a couple of hours work on a document sort of thing. Not sure if I should charge for travel? I'm not that fussed about the money as it's been a great opportunity and I want to keep working for them.
Hi Littlest - I charge for travel time (as I am working) over and above what it would take me to get to my normal place of work as they provide me with an office. I also charge expenses, mileage (.74c) and parking as these are not covered in my contract but am able to claim them. I guess it depends on your contract. i think travel time is a fair claim (I even claim when I am in-flight by the hour).
Oh this is funny, dh has just told me that the CEO was asking about me an background. Dh was saying about BBC,broadcast journalist/voice over work etc. CEO says "Oh brilliant, there might be an opening for some voice over work...as long as she's not a scouser!!!!"
Dh was like "aaha hah ha hah ah hah...."
CEO was like "she is a scouser isn't she?"
Dh said "yeeeeeaaaah"
He said he could see him dying!
I realised this week that I love our house so much I don't desire a bach at all, which is weird: summer is so glorious here, we have the pool and the view, what more could I want?
Thanks Sibble. I'm torn between trying to put myself on a professional footing and making sure I don't piss them off and do myself out of future work.
LOL. That's very funny AB.
Are you a scouser? (faints) You didn't sound it on the phone
<picks justa up> I am a
And I sound very scouse
when i am pissed or cross
well you won't be either of those if you are doing voiceovers, surely?
Now to other business. Does anyone fancy a NYE early-kiddy-friendly party/meet-up at ours?
Was thinking we could provide a BBQ, use of the pool, and a special early Auld Lang Syne (at about 8pm) for the kiddies before an early enough night that they weren't terrible the next day.
anyone up for it
or are you all more glamorous and fully booked already
Ooh justa provisionally yes!! With the caveats that DH is a NYE grinch & DD2 doesn't survive much past 6:30 most night. I shall talk to DH and see what he thinks. (I think my folks are trying to go somewhere for NYE, even if it's just Takapuna to stay in a hotel & watch the fireworks - we're sending them off gladly as our two little monsters don't mix well with late nights and/or babysitters )
Thnks Justa - we will have to decline. We're heading to the beach on the 22nd through to 6th (ish). Have a great time everybody thought. Weather pending I'll be down there on an off through to the boys going back to school. Have no internet, phone or anything usually so will be a bit quiet! However bought a vodem yesterday as have heaps of work to do and am hoping to be able to connect to internet to send it into the office when done. Beauty of doing contract littlest = when everybody goes back to the office I can 'work from home' or juggle contracts so I am very lean over school holidays - love it!
Ohh,what a kind invitation justa, do you know,we may come too! We are at MP on the 30th, so will be about.
It just depends on whether we are staying over or going straight home after.
We may stay a few days to have a look at Waiheke and few other areas.. Haven't discussed at length yet.
Also, would have my Mum with me...would that be a problem?
after all you know
oh no it would be lovely to have your mum, we will all charm her and she will be swayed by the beauty of the glorious friendships you have found, like flowers in an alien land
at least I am hoping that is what you will all do to my mum when she comes
Did I tell you my mum is actually coming in Feb? I nearly fell over. Wheelchair has prompted major rethink.
VViola and AB - it could finish at 7pm if you needed it to.
We have provisional plans for NYE but I'm tempted to come just to hear AB's mum's, ahem, forthright views on NZ.
Have just read through all 9 pages of new thread so just catching up with everything.
I was so busy a few weeks ago with two sick DDs, including the youngest not sleeping through as she was all blocked up (which was a huge shock for all of us) so got out of the MN habit. We also had a bit of a spurt of social things, so all in all too busy to
and too lazy on my iPad to MN. Still have my addiction to Trade Me Property though.
Can't remember everything that has been happening with everyone. vvviola sorry about you accident, glad to read you are all okay.
AB. Sorry, but your brother sounds awful and what he says to you is emotionally abusive. Your mum is enabling him. So hard to tackle this sort of behaviour, as people like this rarely see any fault in their own behaviour.
Families are so complicated aren't they. My in laws are amazing but I can feel the stress and emotion of our move building. I am dreading the emotional goodbye. Every time I think about it I well up. I feel so guilty but then I have my family in NZ to consider (not that we are moving just for family, but obviously they benefit)
Hope you are enjoying some nice weather. It is freezing here!! We are getting ready for our last UK Christmas for a while, so will try to really enjoy time with our family.
Any decisions AB - will you be moving to Auckland?
Thanks justs thatwould be good! She is actually really lovely/friendly/chatty...she is just hurting, so not haven't seen the best of her this last year.
Can I confirm nearer the tim if that's ok with you? We will bring some plonk and grub obvs
No decisions yet, dh is keen and leaning heavily towards Waiheke...property porn may follow!
Oh, the pool and views on that second one (first one isn't bad either!)
ha! I hadn't checked the price-tag and thought "GOODNESS Waiheke is better value than we thought."
Just got out of the pool - perfect evening for it.
Oh, you're so lucky having your own pool. That must be lovely.
I went swimming today as it happens. Unfortunately, I was fully clothed [griin]
Ds 1 (4) suddenly got out of his depth and panicked. Mum was too far away to help him,so in I went! The shame.
Yes, we are. I try not to go on about it too much because it is so wonderful and I don't want to make everyone else jealous
But it is worth a lot. Especially tonight, when I got DS1 in - he was scared, cos of legs - but he splashed around and was so happy. He really NEEDS to swim right now. Is lovely.
Well, you're right , I am well jel
Great for ds1 that he gets some much needed aqua physio at home where he is comfortable, really fortuitous for you guys.
Lovely, enjoy your sunny, swimmy days xx
Glad your little one was safe. Must have been terrifying.
Oh, and the pool uses up more electricity than anything else in the house, takes oodles of time to clean, and oodles of chemicals - but still the best thing since sliced bread.
Oh he was fine, wasn't under for long at all. No real danger I was only a few feet away...but still a big fright for him! He said when he has calmed down "It was really spooky under ther Mummy"
Isn't it funny how we just do things, as mothers/people.
Without any thought/reason.
I literally launched from the edge of the pool without any conversation with myself at all. Weird.
Oh, justa I can totally imagine it is worth it. I dreeeam of one day owning a house with a pool! Even though I know it is a real ball ache to finance.
You lucky duck!
AB Just having a browse on Trade Me, I'm surprised how few properties there are for rent on Waiheke. There's only 14 listings for the entire island.
I wonder if the owners tend to rent their houses out as holiday lets rather than long term rentals.
I suspect most people do holiday lets cos they are so expensive on Waiheke. We paid $200 a night in Feb last year for one which was a total shithole. It was only two bed too. I've heard they are full most of the year too.
Yep, that might be a problem!! Dh had a very quick look and said there weren't many
We had dinner. In an actual restaurant. Just the two of us
(It was actually the motel restaurant and I had to disappear after the starter to feed & get to DD2 to sleep - Mum couldn't quite work her magic there. But still. Grown up dinner. Bliss )
AB I tried to persuade DH we should live on Waiheke Island. He was not to be convinced though
Thanks for those links wss we ended up with a pink stroller from K Mart $8 but finally found a blue baby boy doll so hopefully one happy ds2 on Christmas Day.
That invite sounds lovely justa will talk to dp if you don't mind is coming along?
Not to put a downer on things AB but I've been over to Waiheke a few times and I just don't like it. Everyone keeps telling me about how beautiful it is but I really just don't see it. I wouldn't like to live there anyway.
There's some beautiful areas around the North Shore. Still trying to decide on where we should find our next house. Think it'll be browns Bay for a while though as just got ds1 into Kindy there and dp loves it.
Good luck with whatever you decide though.
Our electricity bill isn't that bad considering we have a pool. And we pay someone to come in and do the cleaning/chemicals etc. they come every 2 weeks in summer and we pay roughly $100 a visit which included everything they do (even replacing the hose on the suction Hoover thingy). Well worth it if you can afford it. Having a pool and doing it yourself still well worth it if you can't. ;)
Your meal out sounds great, lovely to have a break.
xminervaHmm, I have never been. I am worried that it will be boring. Had never worried about it being ugly! But I will have to go over and check it out.
Dh sayd we'll probably know the minute we step offthe ferry whether it's a yes or a no.
justa I think we will not be able to make your party! Everywhere is booked up and $$$$x10 for around that time.
I met a lovely lovely mumsnetter visiting from the UK today, we had a glass of wine and some lunch, and she said a very rude word and made me choke on my lettuce
If by Christmassy you mean "lots of family in a small space being decidedly tricky"
Actually it's fine - just a bit chaotic & everyone getting used to everyone else's ways. And DD1 being totally hyper.
And it seems like we may have to resort to frozen brussels sprouts
Justabout- thanks for the invite. We have my kiwi BFF staying for NYE. She lives in Europe and I met her at Uni. It so nice having her here and my DD and her DS are in love. We are going to put the kids to bed and have a grown up dinner party.
Last time we had a party with them we had to redecorate the bathroom.
The thought of sharing any space with my family (lovely as they are!) sends chills down my spine, vvv, you're a far better woman than I!
littlest sounds great fun!
Hi all. There is a problem.
I came out of hospital yesterday from what was supposed to be a minor surgical procedure which meant no lifting heavy children for two weeks.
On the recovery ward I discovered that the consultant had lied to me (why????) and I could not lift anything heavier than 2kg for SIX weeks.
So I am rescinding the invite for NYE, with a heavy heart - but we are going to be struggling to cope with everything as it is, I had assumed that by NYE I would be able to do most of the prep myself whereas it sounds as if I won't be able to lift a finger. Not fair on DH. I'm really sorry everyone!
Sorry to hear that Justabout... Hope you're on the mend soon.
Must be the season for it. My Grandad is in hospital (he's 97 so perhaps to be expected) however my Dad had a heart attack overnight on his way up to the hospital to visit my Grandad and is now in hospital himself awaiting surgery. I'm googling flights with a tummy bug seeing what the damage and logistics will be if I have to head home at short notice - not good!
Oh justa you poor thing.
Please please shout if there is anything you need me to do and don't worry about NYE, your recovery is the most important thing.
Sorry to hear about your dad Sibble, hope he gets his surgery soon. Not a cheap time of year to have to fly at short notice...and get well soon justabout
Oh my goodness Sibble you poor thing!
Was going to suggest that justa would be too much so soon after. Have just fb you but internet ate it
the bastard will do again later when have more time x
Btw, if any of you want to fb me (face to name etc ) feel free to pm me.
sibble Oh no, that's really awful.
Is it your dad's dad in hospital?
Poor you, what a worry.
These things always happen at the worst times too (not that there is a good time) but, just before xmas and new year seems particularly cruel. I'm guessing the airlines hoik the prices up around this time?
Fingers crossed for a good outcome xx
Thanks guys, yes my dad was on his way to visit his dad who is also in hospital but a different one when he had the heart attack. Turns out he had been having chest pain for a few weeks and ignored it! Even insisted on walking from the train station to the hospital and collapsed when he got there!!!
Sibble- just a quickie as I'm on my way out. Air NZ have a compassionate travel policy for close family members and kiwi's. You get a refund of the difference between a normal flight and the short notice one if you have dr note.
I think people don't want to make a fuss. Chest pain is one of those things that the dr could say is indegestion, stress etc.
So I think people just "wait and see".
Sounds bad when a heart attack is diagnosed and then they say "oh,I have been having pain for a while!" but understandable I think.
I hope he is better soon x
www.trademe.co.nz/property/residential-property-for-sale/auction-532012572.htm not bad for the money. Massive garden
Oh, dh just emailed and said garden wasn't "massive" ...looks good size to me!
Wish Uk house would bloody sell, then we could get something decent. I want a house dammit!
This is where my mum stays www.huntington.co.nz/ it's up for sale...anyone feeling generous?
Feeling a bit mizz tonight.
I would never have had this operation if I had known what it would bloody mean practically speaking!
In the last year we have had
two broken legs
two back injuries (me)
a broken arm (me)
DS1 losing the use of his legs
two developmental diagnoses (moderate autism for DS3, ADHD for DS1)
I am bloody fed up with medical bad luck! And this operation is something I could have chosen to put off, had I known what it would mean in terms of not being able to do anything! I was really looking forward to this summer and I can do NOTHING with my kids!
Sorry to whinge. But I am just a bit down about it all. I am so fed up of being positive and meeting challenges with a smile. I want some bloody GOOD luck for a change!
Ohhjusta you deserve lots of lovely and .
You have had crappy luck, I'm really sorry about that.
But, you are a great mum and you will continue to be while you recover. You can read to them.
Or sit by the pool while they play and shout out encouragement.
You can bake and paint with them (I won't suggest play dough!)
You can cuddle and kiss them on the sofa.
They will still have a great summer with their Mum.
And then you will be strong again and ready to put your boxing gloves back on.
Let's hope some good luck is on it's way to you x
Oh justa sorry to hear that. If you need anything, do just give me a shout. I will help out however I can.
Sorry about your grandad and dad sibble hope you manage to get back to see them.
Taking ds1 to Kindy today, just as a sort of getting to know you thing. Will probably be down at browns bay after lunch if anyone is down that way. Gonna try knacker the boys out once and for all.
Thank you all. Feeling better this morning.
We have someone coming for an interview today for emergency childcare help, which would be good. She will start on 3rd Jan.
How is everyone?
Hope my whinging didn't break the thread.
Has been a lovely day here, we are by pool etc.
Course not Justa! It was nae whinging for a start.
Lovely day here too. Can't believe the forecast for Xmas though! I'm starting to feel grumpy that DH only has 4 days off over Xmas and NZ.
Things are a little manic here, combining the pre-Christmas chaos with the tourist-parents and DD2 getting even worse at sleeping (if that was even possible). I'm currently hiding in the walk-in wardrobe trying to see if she'll settle herself to sleep. No screaming yet at least!
Has anyone found an uncooked Christmas ham here? All I can find is pre-cooked ones, which I suppose could be ok, but I'm so used to boiling it first & then baking, getting a pre-cooked one seems like cheating.
Hope you are feeling a bit better justa. Are you at least able to join the DC in the pool?
only a little bit jealous of the pool, I'm struggling with the heat
Phew, glad to hear it.
I am joining them in the pool, briefly. I am not sure if I should or not - the nurses said it was all right as long as it was well chlorinated. So it is, although it is not being hoovered this weekend
must not nag DH even though I want to
You must feel free to bring your little ones over here for a dip.
Yes weather on Xmas Day looks depressing, doesn't it?
We've just been busy busy too, end of term, etc. Just been to a wedding in Devonport, so lovely.
Oh and dh is refusing to even consider the idea it may rain in Christmas Day. We've just had a new deck finished and he is so set on Christmas-dinner-on-the-deck that he simply will not believe it may rain.
Oh hell DH & Mum got into an argument about whether or not he should come up & help with screaming DD2 when I tried her with a bottle when she woke up. Mum stormed off to her room, DH is sitting on the couch in a grump & the atmosphere is not nice. (Incidentally, we had agreed I would try it alone first as she is more used to me at night, but DH did eventually come up with no real success)
I need some way to smooth things over a bit or Christmas Day will not be fun. (Mum is used to her advice being followed, DH is pretty stubborn & I just want some sleep )
Uh oh, that sounds uncomfortable! How does the land lie this morning?
Inevitable that there would be a fall out at some stage, with everyone in such close quarters, I suuppose?
I have had a few with my mum and she's not even staying here!
Oh jesus, I feel rotten. Went out last night for the first time in AGES.
Sat outside a huge beautiful house in their "outdoor living area" sipping bubbles and snacking on homemade treats. Big bonfire thingy for atmos. And everyone had a fab time...I got very,very drunk and feel very,very sick today.
The bubbles just kept getting topped up and the craic was so good, we only got in about 2 (had planned to be home by 10) and dh woke me at 5 going "oh Jesus babe, I can't remember a thing about last night, tell me it's ok!"
So tempeted to tell him he ran naked through Hautapu
All seems forgotten this morning, although Mum & Dad have taken DD1 out for the afternoon so that at least gave everyone some breathing room.
Did your mum know you and dh had agreed you would go in first vvviola? So she knows he wasn't deliberately abandoning you in your hour of need?
How's the hangover AB? I'm feeling a bit shady myself today.
So humid too. I was going to do a big house clean up today for Christmas day but I think I'll leave it til tomorrow <watches Teen Mom marathon>
Sibble, any news on your dad and grandad?
(takes notes on how to avoid family confrontations during visits)
Very jealous of your wild night out, AB.
WSS I think she knew, but didn't necessarily approve of our planned course of action (and she's worried about how tired I am so I think mother bear instinct kicked in a bit)
Anyway, it all seems to have blown over for now. Phew.
Sibble I somehow missed your earlier post, hope you are doing ok & you've had some positive news from home xx
Glad it's all calm there, vvviola.
I have felt utterly shit all day. I had to take the kids to Hamilton Gardens, and then swimming...I actually wanted to cry at one point!
I have just started to feel better as I made myself a Red Thai curry and chapatti
and a vodka and coke Bed early for me!
Ps my hair is not friends with this humidity!
justa how you feeling?
sibble Any news?
lolly you're quiet! All ok?
I'm doing OK. A bit depressing that I went to church today and couldn't stand up for the hymns, then slept for an hour, then went to the mall with DH and couldn't stand up for long there. I thought I was stronger than I am.
Roll on recovery!
I'm in Waihi in a monsoon. Kids up at 5.45am. Limited toys. One DVD (already watched). Moan. But at least we're warm
Frustrating lolly...but you'll get there.
Ok just read through those and most of them are shite...make your own granola? Sorry about that! Have you got your laptop? I recommend youtube!
PMSL at make your own granola.
And whilst you're at it, perhaps you could whittle a small wooden spoon to eat it with.
Oh and whilst we're at it does anyone have any internet lists of Reasons Not To Kill The Kids?
I could use some now
particularly DS1 who is driving me crazy
I'd just get them out of the house lollystix. Sod the rain, it's warm, they'll dry off soon.
Right all (F'ing finally in the car). Off to paeroa (?) where they make that drink. Lol at make my own Granola. We made a sausage sandwich for breakfast - does that count. Kids ok (apart from DS2 who keeps screaming 'I want a banana'). Baby is just hard work. He just walks around looking for me and screaming. When I pick him up he wriggles and I just can't cope with the barnacleness. He's into every cupboard and just hangs off me crying. Exhausting. But this too shall pass ...
Lol, it's sounds as if you are going to Paeroa JUST for some drink! Is it that bad?!!
I had no idea Paeroa was a real place.
Just been to Glenfield mall. Won't make that mistake again next year.
justabout DH went to Albany Westfield yesterday & came out looking very pale. Twas apparently crazy.
I'd like my money back on this whole Christmas in the summer thing - I mean, I can get rain at Christmas in Ireland
and usually do
DH gone out with DD1, DD2 almost down for her nap... time to make pavlova, trifle & bake the ham....
Oh, we were there too (hopelesslydisorganised.com) yesterday. And it was fine, absolutely nothing compared to Glenfield!
I sent dh out early this am with a big list and then we discovered he hadn't been flippin' paid.
Anyway, we made do. Pigs in blanket done and 1st layer of trifle (or Triffle, as we humorously refer to it in my family) is nearly set.
Turkey in baking tray ready for tomorrow.
It's not raining here
ps How competely revolting are the words "pigs.in blankets"? VOMIT
How weird- I went to Newmarket yesterday and it was fine. Even got parked easily. Maybe all the posh folk
like lolly have gone to the beach.
oh gawd to the not being paid, what a nuisance. It is raining here, but I still went for a swim
DH really HAS to clean the pool now.
Argh to not being paid AB- that sucks.
For all of you with littlies this is absolutely ace. You upload a photo, details etc and get a personal video from santa! DD loved it.
We have done it but there seems to be a limit to how many they will send! I did our guys,and when I got to the littlest it didn't email us! Same for my nephewm Mum and Dh...who I put on the naughty list and made Santa say he picked his nose a lot...cue much laughter!!
It's great though..and free!
Just about to start wrapping...ugh!
Just a quick message to say Merry Christmas to you all.
Stockings opened and chocolate being eaten for breakfast.
The dc very happy and they haven't even gone upstairs to the living room yet.
Wet and windy? Feels like we never left the UK.
Hope you all have a fab day.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Presents opened, general chaos occurring.
Current topic of debate is when/if the weather will improve enough to let us go out for a walk so DD1 can try her new scooter
and work off some excess energy
I'm also trying to ignore (well, not really, more work around & not let it become a big deal) the fact that DD2 had funny nappies yesterday & a temp last night & this morning
Happy Xmas everyone. It is distinctly British weather!
DD has a new bike that she is managing to cycle round the house. I have a scooter! I hope I can keep up.
We're off to pals later for dinner- we're taking smoked salmon, curry, byriani rice, salad and homemade yule log.
Happy Christams to each and all!
Rain up there? Absoloutely BOILING here, no rain at all!
DD on roller blades, ds1 on bike,ds2 in his tent dressed as superman playing with Mr Potato head and family,Happy as Larry.
Dh at work, Mum and I dyng in the heat and saying how un-christmassey it feels!
Lunch was nice but turkey a bit dry! Trifle was yummy!!!
Hope everyone has alovely day
vvviola hope the baby is feeling better x
Dinner (aka complete and total chaos) just finished. Shall not be wanting to eat again until, ooh, 10 o'clock...
Christmas cake time
Merry Christmas everyone :-)
We've had rain in patches, and lots of wind: but had a brilliant day anyway. Didn't do the beach (obviously), but had a BBQ at home, and plenty of presents/games/fun. All very Kiwi, steak and sausages and salads and pavlova.
Looking forward to our midwinter Christmas celebrations now with the English-style feast. We'll probably do it in July, and have some friends round.
I heard about that, sounds a good idea. I have eaten too much triffle <sick face>
Oh my word, I have eaten too much full stop! Am actually quite mad at myself, just put on the 2kgs I managed to lose before christmas. Argh! So, back to the bloody beginning again. Is it just me, or is weight loss like a giant bloody game of snakes and ladders?
Absabloodylutely, frik, that is one of the best analogies I've heard for a while.
You're right frick.
I have put on nearer 10 kilos, since last summer!!! It's been a difficult year including 2 pregnancies and a lot of comfort eating! But very depressing. Can't get my denim cut off's over my thighs this year,well I could but I would look quite peculiar shuffling around!
New Year, new excersise regime
Can't believe I have just been PRESENT SHOPPING.
DS3 - birthday on 29th December.
DS1 - 7th Jan.
So both before the next paycheck.
On the plus side, a lot of the expensive -faddy crummy branded-- toys that I rejected before Christmas even though they were DS1's heart's desire have been reduced massively. So he should be pleased.
Ds1's birthday end of Jan, have his prezzies already!
Yes. But it still feels like SUCH a pita to be present shopping already.
Anyone doing anything nice for the rest of the week?
Yeah, like you haven't done enough present buying recently? But, still a complete positive to have two birthdays during the sales!
We are going to Mary Poppins on Sunday, yay!
We're off to Waiheke tomorrow for the day. Mum is unnaturally obsessed with going there (last time this happened it was about Bruges when we were living in Belgium. When we got there she asked ME what there was to see... I still wonder why she wanted to go if she knew nothing about the place. Anyway...)
We're booked on the explorer tour partly to avoid a repeat instance. It's 90 minutes by minibus I think - so I'm praying DD2 behaves herself, sleeps or attaches herself to the boob for the duration
very unlikely but I can but hope
This may be the most foolish idea ever.
Are you doing the tour where you go to wineries, viola? I did that once years ago, it was good.
We're off to Kumeu today and dd1 has a friend round to play tomorrow and I really need to
throw some shit out declutter the house at some point. Am thinking of taking them to pick-your-own strawberry place some time too.
Top tip for Mary Poppins - outside the theatre is a small icecream shop called Giappo's. Absolutely worth going to, before, after or during the interval of a show. I think it is the best icecream in Auckland
Ooh ooh ooh vvviola you must be my eyes <weird>, find tell me everything about it and if you could live there!
wss they'll love the strawb picking
Thanks for the tip justa will deffo go there.
Are you going to go over to Waiheke for a visit while you're up in Auckland AB?
Boo hoo - I'm on the bus to work. Shall look over out to the sea and think of you sunning yourself on waiheke vviola. . I still haven't made it there yet.
Boo lolly, have a good day though
wss it will be a flying visit this time. Couldn't get any accomodation, well, we could but at like triple the usual rate! So, just coming to see the show, have tea, and then go back. Hopefully coming up in Feb and planning to visit then.
Dh should know if he is going to take the job by then, his trial starts on the 14th jan. I'm really scared I won't want to live there. Dh is convinced it would be great.
I really really really like waiheke, I ve had some cracking weekends there. My concern about living there would be the cost of getting to the mainland. I think with a car And family it s close to $200 a return ticket and even as foot passengers I dont think you d have muchchange from $100. I may nnot be totally accurate on those figures.
Aucklandhas lots to offer butyou mayend up not leaving the island much. Just my 2 cents worth. Its a lovely island though
We have pals who have a bach there and they say stuff is cheaper once people recognise you are a local and not a rich Aucklander. Monthly passes for foot passengers are relatively cheap: http://www.fullers.co.nz/tickets-fares/timetables/waiheke-island.php
Our pals have a cheap car they keep on the island.
We have pals who have a bach there and they say stuff is cheaper once people recognise you are a local and not a rich Aucklander. Monthly passes for foot passengers are relatively cheap: http://www.fullers.co.nz/tickets-fares/timetables/waiheke-island.php
If you decide against Waiheke then there is still a lot of Auckland left to choose from.
Yes for us the cost of getting to the mainland would be prohibitive. The way Auckland works you really need a car to get around anywhere outside the absolute city centre, so you have to factor that into your decision-making AB, you need to assume that you WILL need to take the car across if you want to see anyone in the rest of Auckland, for example. Lovely as we all are, you don't want to end up paying 200 to come and have a coffee with us!
ooh - meant to say, can you tell us where the strawberrypicking is?
There's a few places listed here, Massey or Coatesville are prob your nearest, justabout.
I think it only runs for about a month, late Dec- Jan. They recommend always phoning first to check on hours etc.
Does anyone else have children who are, hhmm, a little spirited at the moment?
DH has been back at work for two days and is also working all weekend. Sob.
Mine are pretty tired at the moment, which can make them hard work. It's a combination of Christmas excitement, the heat, the humidity, seeing people, sleepovers, sugar, everything really!
I'm pretty secure in saying mine (well DD1 mostly but DD2 is having her moments too) have long past being called spirited and a swiftly approach obnoxious! No routine, presence of adored grandparents, combined with Christmas and far too much spoiling... definitely difficult.
Waiheke was lovely. I can see how people would enjoy living there. It wouldn't be for me (too much of a worrywart re ferries, bad weather, medical stuff) but I can see that if you loved the island that would just become irrelevant.
(Am happy to witter on at length here or by email if you want to PM me your email AB - I admit to having quite a bit of fun mentally assessing the place on your behalf
easily pleased me )
littlest dd is being tres brattish at the moment. I am giving her the benifit of the doubt and filing it under "overwhelmed".
But she is doing my head in.
And let's just say, if I were the slapping bottom type of mummy, there would be one little girl with one as shiny and red as Rudolph's shnozz!
Saying that I had such a good time with her in the pool yesterday, we both really enjoyed it and she has such an infectous laugh, it's hard not to join in!
ds1 is also a bit whingey and clingy, and runnng off to his bed if you so much as direct a stern word his way,shouting "I'm not listening to you! You don't love me!"
Again, just a lot to deal with at theis time of year.
Kids like routine so they say, well there's nothing routine about Christmas is there? It's most out of the ordinary!
Worry not they shalln't be
brats as challenging in January!
Um, actually all of mine are being uncharacteristically good at the moment. I think this is because with me out of action they are getting unlimited TV and computer time from their father and this has reduced them to contented zombies.
just popped in to say that we have 6 weeks to go until we fly out and i STILL havent organised a shipper. or anywhere to stay on the other side. or anything at all really. what is wrong with me!! i mean, this is our 8th international move, its not like i dont know what to do. i just cant seem to work up any sense of urgency. and by now usually, i am like, in full Move Mode <its an actual thing> and am super organised and have lists of lists and stuff is being Taken Care Of. even more worrying is that DH is very laid back too and i cant tell if he is normally this laid back about a move because i always take care of everything and so he isnt panicking because he thinks its all going to be fiiiiiine like it always is, or if he is laid back because whatever i have is some weird catchy its allll riiiight mon virus or something.
am also aware that i am typing this as moving avoidance behaviour. help me!!
frick?! You loon, get your arse in gear!
Eighth international move.
(cries at the idea of doing it more than once, EVER)
Maybe you are subconsciously rebelling.
I've technically just done move number 8 (if you count my Erasmus year in Germany and my post-uni year in Japan which we more "person-moves" than house moves, if you get me).
If does get a little "ah, it'll be fine" after a while, so I shall give you a few cautionary tales from our last move (Brussels to NZ with a month in Ireland)
- shippers arrived 12 hours late, while DH was attempting to do a phone interview
- we never got around to handing back car registration document (thank goodness for friends who were staying on)
- some of my favourite books, my salad bowl, and 2 essential saucepans ended up in the "storage" shipment by accident
- I found myself sitting on the floor in a totally empty house attempting to feed 4 month old DD
- I was so tired & behind schedule that I ended up having to do Christmas shopping online. Paid for DB & SIL's present twice & paid for international shipping for something that was only going around the corner.
Does that help motivate you?
Good to know it isn't just my little darling. She conked out by 7.30 so I just have to survive 48 hours solo now. My kiwi BF plus family arrive back on Sunday pm so that will keep her happy too.
frik- that is scary. But my theory is that the moving stuff will expand to fill whatever time you can give it. We may have to stay here cos I can't face organising it all ever again though!
I'm trying to organise our summer hols in Northland. I hate booking bachs. They always seem so bloody expensive and so crap.
I mean, seriously, they want $280 a night for this place:
Hmm, prime school holiday time, that's why the rate is so high. Any chance you can go in Feb when the schools are back?
That's the plan- we're aiming to go the second week in Feb so schools are back. We to Waiheke that week last year and had fab weather.
Yes, baches seem one of the real disappointments in NZ. I was anticipating being able to pop away for twopennyhaporth whenever we felt like it.
We are going away on a nearly-free holiday courtesy of the Wilson Home trust for disabled kids - four nights in Bay of Islands, which is lovely and I am very grateful - but I can't expect that to happen every year!
Oh I see, that place you linked to was $280 in Jan and $170 in Feb so I thought you were going Jan.
Nice beaches at Matapouri and nearby, we went a couple of years ago. Nice views from that bach, not so sure about the bedspreads
Ah, a bed in the laundry room! Now why didn't I think of that!!
Anyone watching Dallas? Far too young to remember the original,of course, but I have suggested it would appeal to my Mother...no reply as yet!
Not watching Dallas though I did watch the original <old gimmer>
We quite often go to baches in autumn/winter/spring when they're cheaper. You are gambling on the weather a bit that way but up north especially can be pretty nice. We were in Russell one year in June and we were on the beach in 20 degree sunshine...
actual laugh out loud at justas subconcious rebelling. i think you have hit the nail right smack on the head.
i am totally rebelling!
lol. off to tell DH that my mid life crisis has officially started
Just found Dallas on plus one. SO excited. Used to watch it when I was about 8 with my mum. Eye candy and all! Result.
So our waihi Bach was $200 a night and basic - was a bit miffed tbh but know it was Xmas. My computer had totally dies to point of not turning on. Can anyone recommend an Auckland laptop dr?
I'm all for reusing and recycling. Just not with 1970's bedlinen. Sigh. You'd think for that money they'd cough up for a new duvet cover. We got really burnt last year on Waiheke with a place that was so unsafe for a toddler it's made me very nervous.
Lucky you lolly I wasn't allowed to watch it! Or Eastenders, or Neighbours,or Grange Hill!!
It's quite good in an incredibly cheesy way...
It's always a bit of a gamble when you have children isn't it,*littlest. Can no one recommend somewhere for you?
We had to take own linen to Bach. Clean place but confronted with dirty linen on bed which I stripped to find blood stained mattress protecter. . Not too impressed tbh.
Not allowed to watch Grange Hill , so you never saw Zammo's decline into heroin addiction...just say no kids!
lolly- have you tried holding the button down for 3 secs as a reset? does it have any lights on it (spot the ex technical support operator)
Christ lolly, that is ....offputting, to say the very least.
wss What can I say, I have lead a sheltered life!
Littlest - dead. Totally dead. Yesterday the right click button wouldn't work so couldn't do anything. Now won't even turn on. Gutted as all photos (not backed up of course) and only 14 months old.
I got to watch east Enders, dynasty and Dallas and GH. My mother must have been a slattern
Lollystix we used a computer repair shop on New North Road but it s a bit of a long way from wjere you are. He was good though and v reasonably priced
14 months- that sucks. The IT geeks should be able to do a hard drive recovery but I don't know anyone to recommend I'm afraid.
It's poo. I'm drinking wine and have made muffins to console myself. Can't decide who is nicer...Christopher or John Ross.
Shall ask DH re laptop recovery, although he will probably just say "can she not just..." and then bamboozle me with a description of rebuilding hard drives and something called ghosting
may have listened a little last time
I also wasn't allowed to watch Dallas or falcon crest either <jealous face at lolly> my mum said it wasn't appropriate but admitted to me recently that it was because she was sick of the sight of us by that time of night and wanted us in bed so she could have a glass of wine and feel free to fancy that bobby Ewing
LOL frick. I totally understand where she was coming from
Not the fancying bobby Ewing bit though. Didn't get that at 8 or now...
Deffo Christopher lolly. John Ross is too slight with a really turned up nose and a bad cacooche (sp?!) <harsh>
It was one of my few childhood rebellions. I insisted on watching Dallas so that I could have something to talk about at school with my friends.
No matter that I couldn't understand a word...
In a change from my usual witterings, I actually have concrete questions!
- what sun cream do you use for your DC? DD1 got a bit burnt today through factor 50 - applied properly as far as I know (DH & DM) and reapplied after being in the water. DD2 keeps getting bits on her face too, despite the 50+ and a wide brimmed hat.
- my folks did some shopping and bought washing powder, I've just noticed it's for top loaders. Is it going to completely kill my front loader?
We are still using stuff from Uk factor 50+ ...and we use powder for a top loader, it's all just soap suds isn't it?!
My boys got burnt today
AB - what's a cacooche? I agree about the nose but something odd was going on with Christopher's eyebrows so I'm on the fence just now.
You need to be careful with the washing powder. I think that if you use top loader in a front loader it can make too many suds and knacker the machine. I have done it occasionally and DH gets upset.
You see that is exactly the kind of obvious useful info that no one puts in the books about NZ.
Definitely DO NOT use top loader powder in a front loader!
Ha ha. Maybe we should get together and write a book about emigrating. I could do 'how
not to buy a house'.
wait. do they only have top loader machines? and only powder for top loaders? because i am literally about to buy a new washing machine and its a front loader. must i immediately cease and desist?
But Hermione, why...? I'm quite happy to stop, but it seems such a waste of powder.
Frik - no, they have both types, and powder for both in the shops. My folks just picked up the wrong one.
Sunblock - I just use the Countdown own brand stuff.
On the very hottest days we tend to stay out of the sun in the middle of the day. E.g. Yesterday we had friends round from about 9-11 so the kids were outside playing then (with hats and sunblock on).
When they left we came inside, relaxed, had food, watched TV, did colouring etc.
Then at 3 we went to friends for a barbie and the kids all ran outside again.
If they do want to play outside during the middle of the day, our sandpit, swings, paddling pool and tramp are all in the shadier bit of the garden so they're not in the sun too much.
Top loader powder makes too many suds for front loaders, apparently, could also void your warranty.
Right. Have any of you oldtimers seen the SkyTower/harbour fireworks on NYE?
If so, where is a good place to spot them from?
Um, no, never have, pre kids I was usually out of Auckland for NYE and post kids I've normally been asleep.
The top of Mt Eden is probably a great spot but also probably crammed.
We've been investigating the NYE fireworks for my parents. Consensus seems to be, best place are: Devonport (but beware the one-road-out issue), Birkenhead(?I think), Milford, or into the Viaduct area.
In the end, they're going up to a dinner at a vineyard at Warkworth instead.
We were warned that last year the fireworks were a bit of a bust - low cloud meant they were very hard to see.
I can see the sky tower from the corner of my deck - do you think I'll see any ( if I'm awake - DH had to remind me today it was NYE tomorrow-how times have changed)
Right. Weather looks as if it might be OK tomorrow but now I think about it I am still absolutely shattered and not sure I am capable of staying up late!
I'll def be in bed too ...not bothered anymore!
And lolly a cacooche, is a word a czech friend used to use. It kind of translates,I think, as a "good/kind" face.
But yes, Jesse Metcalfe's eybrows are quite ridiculous.
We could always wax him?!
Yes to too many suds, I too shall stop with the top loader powder!
Saw Mary Poppin's. Call me hard to please, but I wasn't overly impressed!
Either I'm going mad or there is no "countdown to midnight" on any NZ channel!! DH & I were all set with snacks & wine to stay up, but according to the listings there is no countdown - just lots of movies.
I actually went and checked the date!!
Chances of us staying up til midnight are decreasing by the minute.
That's right. "Different" (euphemism for clearly insane), isn't it?
huh. Odd! I didn't notice because
I was very drunk I watched the Titanic for a while then collapsed went to bed.
Happy New year ladies. Lot's of us had a very trying 2012. I hope 2013 is a huge improvement. xx
Well we finally caught the fireworks on sky news, opened a bottle of sparkling wine & then switched over to the history channel
DD2 obliged by sleeping 7 til 12:30
Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2013 is a calm happy one for everyone xx
(I don't want to derail the New Year greetings... So if anyone with experience of the dreaded chicken pox would like to pop over to children's health where I'm currently stressing out!
the cheek of my paediatric nurse mother going away for two days just when I need her )
Oh dear, vvv hope your guys are spot free soon x
littlestkiwi how is your bach search going?
I have just started going through Bookabach, Holidayhomes and Holidayhouses looking for somewhere for a long weekend with the in-laws in Feb. Last time we went to Tairua in the Coromandel which was gorgeous but they want somewhere closer (it's only 2 hours drive).
I've booked a place in Tutukaka for three nights and put a request in for another in the Far North. This place in Tutukaka looked great but they wouldn't do a three night break for us.
Not sure it's much closer than Tairua though!
Nice place! No, unfortunately not closer than Tairua, Tutukaka is more like 2.5 hours drive I think...I'm looking at Algies Bay, Snells Beach etc as they are so close to Auckland. Would love to go to the Coromandel though.
I am starting to panic a little now. Shippers are sorted (yay me) but still no accommodation. Bloody hell, all I want is a fully furnished rental. You'd think I was looking for a snowball in hell.
frik- you might have better luck on gumtree for furnished rentals. There are not many around though.
No, furnished rentals are v rare. Is it Tauranga you're going to?
Tauranga Yes. Am looking everywhere. It's weird, when I looked like, 4 months ago there were loads, so armed with my false sense of security I went on my merry way thinking, oh cool, well that's not so hard then.
But nnnoooo, now there's frikking nothing to be found!!
I was originally just looking at sort term lets on realestate.co.nz, but am now all over home stay, holiday house etc etc etc. and am mostly thinking fuck me, but clearly there is cash to be made on the whole holiday home front, they are so expensive! Although, am hoping some might give a
massive reduction in rates for the longer booking.
Bloody frikking bollock ache that moving country is <grumpy>
(cheers frik for sorting the shippers).
friknot sure which area of Tauranga you want to be in or how many bedrooms you need, but this is all the stuff that comes on a search for furnished rentals on Trade Me
Thanks justa! :-)
Whatshesaid, I have contacted quite a few of those, it's the availability periods that are the problem, which is why I had graduated to Bach search. BUT, having said that, I do see one that I hadn't noticed before, just going to email them now, so thanks very much.
Anyone got a drive way we can park a caravan on........ Lol!
Well done frick.
It is a ballache finding furnished. We stayed in motels until we found a rental (unfurnished) then we bought blow up beds, and bits from Briscoes, to see us through until the container arrived!
Not easy, but you're a pro at this!
wss I was amazed by that rental until I saw it was for 1 person!!
AB when we lived in syria we 'camped' in our house for 3 months with no furniture. We literally had beds and the kitchen. That was it. No cupboards, couches, tv, bookshelves literally an empty house except for beds, pots and pans. I swore then, Never Again! But obvs it was worse there cos you couldn't actually get anything, whereas NZ I would be able to just buy stuff if we are prepared to spend the money. The other reason I want furnished is that it looks like our container will take on best case scenario 4 months to get there, worst case, 6 months. Which a long fucking time to be camping and making do really, especially with kids.
Am now looking into motels! Thanks for the tip
Yeah, the first one was just for one room in the house but there were other listings for whole houses...more than I thought there would be.
Why so long on the container Frik? Are you doing part part one? Ours was 8 weeks door to door which was amazing. We rented a Bach (if you can call it that in central Auckland) for 4 weeks but it was $1400 a week (dh work paid for three thank god). Then we camped for 5 weeks.
Got inevitably drunk last night and stayed up till 1.30 watching Jerry McGuire- why?!! I know the ending, it's not great and I'm sleep deprived as it is.
Up to Waipu today for the Highland games which was cute but a scorcher.
AB - what's the news on the Auckland plan again?
Happy new year by the way - I am hoping for some calm. 2011 and 12 were a bit mental.
Yes me too to the calm.
I want lots of calm and no more fucking injuries/medical disasters.
Oh, and I want to learn to bake nicer biscuits.
Every need for better biscuits in this country (says me tucking into my imported McVities choccie digs)
We are in the ME so it takes longer. 1400?????? Holy moly. That's, wow. Just glad we are going to be in cheaper tauranga!
I think we are going to sign up for 2 weeks in a motel and then look for a rental. We are staying with friends for the first couple of days, they have offered to put us up for longer and I think they think we are mad for spending money on a motel, but I just feel that in order to stay good friends with someone, you don't live with them for more than a week!
So that basically gives us three weeks to find a place. Which should be ok. Right?
To give you some hope, frik - we found our first rental in Auckland in 3 days (we did have to move a few months later but that was nothing to do with the house itself, and if we'd wanted to we could have insisted on staying the full year)
Vvviola, how is dd2?
Sibble hasn't been around, hope her dad and grandad are ok.
Yes, frik, we BOUGHT a house within 48 hours of getting off the plane. So it can be done. You could always just get an unfurnished rental quickly and spend the money you would have spent on a motel on basic furnishings.
Yep, for what, about $300 at the Warehouse you could prob get blow-up mattresses, basic cutlery and crockery and plastic table and chairs to see you through. The Warehouse sells everything, quality is sometimes not great but doesn't matter if it's just for the short term.
WSS - woke up this morning and half the spots had disappeared. Am now totally confused, particularly about whether we need to stay in or not. Trust DD2 to be complicated!!
hhhmmm, i suppose we could, it just seems wasteful to buy stuff we already have. i guess we could just sell it all on once our stuff arrives.
food for thought.
<as though we have soooooo much time to make these decisions.....>
Or sell them off on trade me when you are finished with them if you don't want them taking up space. Get some small bit of the cost back...
S'not wasteful, it's sensible! You can donate to the Sally Army afterwards if you don't want the hassle of selling and don't want to use outside.
right! DH and i have agreed that we will do one week with mates, while looking for unfurnished let. if dont find anything in a week, will do motel for a week or until we do find unfurnished rental. once unfurnished let has been found, will then go and buy stuff at the warehouse to tide us over, and just sell/give to charity/whatever when container arrives.
DH says that as long as i promise not to bitch incessantly about sleeping on a blow up mattress, its all good and I say as long as i can have an electric blanket on a blow up mattress, i wont!
you can, right? have an electric blanket on a blow up mattress i mean.
oh,oh wait, what about proper mattresses? because i have been wanting to get a new mattress for our bed frame for a while now, can you get 2m by 2m mattresses there? if so, maybe we will do that. just buy the proper mattress there, and keep on the floor until the container arrives. LOL, that will be proper arabic in new zealand then!
Beds are different sizes here - I have UK double (which is so old and I hate - my £100 Argos mattress) and I can't get sheets for it. New kiwi king size bed is on my list to buy after BBQ, trampoline, house ( oh and now boat!).
I would maybe sell your current bed and buy in NZ?
yep, am totally going to do that lolly.
boohoo. My mother has just emailed and said that she won't have time to bring IKEA plastic crockery, she is flying to SA for a month and
can't be arsed hasn't got time to go to Southampton before she goes.
Must look on the positive side that she has decided to visit! I was really really hoping for some nice garish plastic plates and cups and bowls, the ones I have bought here just do not compare
<shameless nostalgia for IKEA>
AND DH seems to have gone to work with my keys!
justabout you can get IKEA crockery and cutlery on Trade Me
Nearly $9 a bowl/plate/cutlery set tho.
Actually, looks like its 6 bowls for the price, not 1. And 18 pieces of plastic cutlery.
ooh, it's tempting. Might treat myself after our holiday
once we have bought beach towels
I think we have a kiwi double bed which is the same size as a UK king double. It's very confusing but I think if you measure your current frame you'd be able to get a mattress to fit it. We moved into an empty house and had the bed delivered the day we moved in. It's the best bed we've ever had. I got a good deal on both our kiwi beds from bedpost- a significant discount/sale on both.
I've managed to book two bachs for around $200 a night which doesn't seem too bad. One sleeps nine though and we are only three!
We went strawberry picking today out in Kumeu which was good fun, we have more strawberries than we know what to do with now! I have made sorbet and we'll be eating lots for the next few days. The season finishes end of Jan and apparently the PYO price goes right down then as they are keen to get rid of any remaining fruit.
Oh lovely. We went to the zoo, with the lovely Korean girl whom I have hired with my respite money to help whilst I can't lift.
I do hope we have enough hours left to pay her :-)
Glad you've got some help justa How are ou feeling now?
We have had a lovely day, too. Long bike ride after lunch with all the kids (lo nodding off on back of my bike!) and then swimming, followed by steak and chips on the barbie.
Older kids having sleep over with Mum.
Dh and I watching Jaws
Don't think I'll bother with Dallas again,*lolly*!
But then, seeing Jaws again? <shudder>
This is the reason for my lifelong fear of open water. I was just telling dh that if I am ever in the sea (practically NEVER) that I see the myself from the view point of Jaws!
Underwater, legs kicking...aaaarrgh. panic rises, have to get out have to get out have to get out! DAMN YOU, Jaws
And we honeymooned in The Maldives! All the newlyweds, snorkelling and scuber diving, canoodling in the sea. Not me, no siree!
Steven Speilberg, you have alot to answer for !
Im watching graham norton. Dh hates it but I'm at a friends house babysitting so he s not here to moan.
Me too. I miss British TV.
Kiwi TV is not so good - and that's with Sky.
AB - I am no longer on the fence. I choose Christopher. John Ross is too much of a baby face. I'm too old though.
Graham Norton is ok depending on who is on.
British tv was quite crap,too, tbh? Unless you had sky.
lolly glad you have made your choice
I'm so not a cougar. Girls at work teasing me as i like older men. Maybe when I hit 40 I'll feel differently.
We just finished watching the Richard Hammond programme on the oceans etc. Was pretty good. Graham Norton now.
Don't want to go into detail, but really crappy day here, to the extent that I'm trying to figure out if it's possible to find that mythical job that will still let me do my Masters and not cause too much extra childcare costs . So pretty much impossible really.
Hi Vviola - what are your masters hours. How many years left?
I'm only in 2 morning a week, plus time to do assignments and my thesis. They consider that workload almost fully time. Hopefully just have a year left.
The advantage up to now is that we haven't had to put DD1 into any additional childcare after/before school, and DD2 is only in crèche 3 days.
Ideally I need a job that would let me sit somewhere supervising something & do my study (realises I had it pretty good in my first 2 years at uni first time round, when my night shifts at a B&B were exactly that!!!)
Oh dear vvviola, if you'd mentioned this last week I'd have asked you to come and be our regular evening babysitter (that is essentially what the job involves) but unfortunately we've now hired one!
<did I mention I love the NZ respite system >
But that gives me an idea, why not advertise yourself as a babysitter?
That's a good idea justa. Although shall have to do something about DD2's sleep first (she's getting worse, not better, and DH tried to settle her the other night, which caused total meltdown!)
I'm looking into audio typing, proof reading & that sort of stuff too, thinking I could do them at night & nap times etc. I'm looking at temping too (put myself through many summers at uni doing that), but as I can only do certain days - and would have to be guaranteed those days at least the majority of the time, it's probably not feasible.
But don't worry, I'm not at the stage of selling a kidney just yet....
I looked at temping. It was really weird, no one seemed to do it here. I didn't look VERY hard but it wasn't like England where they snap you up if you can use a keyboard.
I will be interested if you can find any or audio typing
Have you looked at the University Student job place Vvviola? It's called something like job link or student connections?
I've looked at contracting which a lot of people seem to do in project management or IT. But I've never had any luck with recruitment agents.
Have you looked at the University Student job place Vvviola? It's called something like job link or student connections?
I've looked at contracting which a lot of people seem to do in project management or IT. But I've never had any luck with recruitment agents.
There's SJS, student job search. That's where we found our holiday help (she is brilliant, BTW)
Hi All have yet to read the last 2 weeks messages, will catch up tonight, have been awol at the beach. Dad home from hospital and recovering, long story but he had angio and stents inserted on Christmas Eve, all did not go well and they had to stop procedure. They did him again 4 days later and all went well that time. Grandad has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, they are having a case conference on Monday as he now has catheter, is in adult nappies, cannot eat or drink without assistance although he's now refusing to eat as he wants to die = at 97 a fair choice IMO. All in all although we were at the beach and we did have a nice time it was all a bit stressful and I have no idea what the mobile phone bill will be - I keep telling Dh who frowned every time I phoned - it has to be cheaper than a flight to the UK (doesn't it )
Anyway swam this morning, now home to get ready for work on Monday probably hottest day of year and so miss my pool (has moved up the list of essentials for this years renovations to this house)
sibble , your poor Grandad. What a choice.(This hits a nerve with me.)
Am so glad that your Father is getting well though. x
Sorry to hear about your grandad, Sibble, hope he gets the best care he can.
Oh gosh, Sibble, that's hard.
Do they have an equivalent of the Liverpool Care Pathway here? Can he be transferred to a hospice?
It sounds like what he wants is to die with dignity and grace.
Glad your dad's op went well though.
(Totally frivolous in comparison alert): we got our electricity bill through after the first month of using the pool this year and hurray! we seem to have found a way of doing it without bankrupting ourselves. Running the filter four hours a day is definitely the way to go. Phew.
Glad to hear your Dad is on the mend Sibble. My Dad had stents done about 3 years ago after having a heart attack (at work in the second week of a new job!). He really hasn't looked back since.
So sorry to hear about your grandad though It must be so hard being so far away xx
Sibble- sorry to hear things are rough atm. I hope your Grandad gets good care and some well time.
Thanks all, he died last night. Glad he is no longer in pain but terribly sad at the same time. Realise (yet again!) how far from family and home you are at a time like this. Also not a good day to be going back to work. Look like a panda/Alice Cooper as mascara keeps running but at least have back to back meetings and dh is picking boys up from holiday programme.
My condolences, Sibble. I'm glad he is out of pain. Hope dad continues a stable recovery.
Sibble, I'm sorry. But also, glad is no longer in pain.
On a practical note, I have found through intensive research (which included almost every day during 2012!) That the best waterpoof mascara is Superdrugs GOSH. You can order online, but I have people post it over.
No more panda eyes...one less (very trivial, but still) thing to worry about.
Glad you can keep busy.
Do you have any plans to go back to the uk?x
sorry for your loss sibble xxx
So sorry to hear that Sibble. It's hard to lose someone, even if they have had a long and wonderful life cos we still miss them. Be kind to yourself.
Wow, lots to catch up on. I usually go straight to "threads I'm on" to see if anythings been added but for some reason it's saying nothing has been added since a few posts after my last post here.
Anyway hope you all had a fab Christmas and new year. We saw the fireworks from the sky tower. Not that great I thought (or maybe it was the wine) Dp was back at work yesterday and has left me with a horrible cold looking after 2 whingy boys with horrible colds, Bleurg.
House hunting at the moment, it is not going well.
Will catch up at lunchtime when the clingy snotty monsters aren't hanging off me and have gone for a nap.
Take care everyone.
Oh sibble, I just read, I'm so sorry.
Sorry there's probably going to be a few posts from me while I catch up.
vvv if you do end up deciding you want to do some regular babysitting let me know. Our's has gone back to uni now so need someone else. We paid her $16 a hour from 8-2am and the boys are always in bed asleep before we go. We need one Friday a month.
Are you house hunting to rent or buy, xminerva?
Just rent. We've seen 8 or 9 so far. They either been $500pw and under and way too small or really grotty, or $700 and more and bloody gorgeous but too expensive.
We need something around the $600 mark. At least 3 beds and a fully fenced section. That's not being too fussy is it? Because it feels like it at the moment
Doesn't sound fussy to me. But prices are moving quite fast I think. Where are you looking?
Around the Bays really, Browns, Mairangi, Murrays, Torbay, Long Bay, Pinehill has been added to the list.
Got a few promising ones to look at this week so fingers crossed.
Thanks everybody, no I'm not going back for the funeral but am seriously considering moving back at the moment. We've been here 10 years, had fun but at the moment family seems more important than our lifestyle. Trying not to make a knee jerk decision and realistically would have 2 houses to sell (unless we rented them and rented in the UK). Looking at jobs, areas, schools etc....
If we do decide to go it won't be for ages and I'm not going to make my mind up for a while.
On another note - funeral booked for 25th - peak season by all accounts with a Christmas back log - my Mum says we might get one sooner if they get a cancellation - sorry not really dead, my slot is free!?
XMinerva - we certainly saw some in the bays area for 600ish and 3 bedrooms (we were looking for 4). But what we did find is that some stuff never made it to trade me or the estate agent websites. I called in to a lot of offices & told them what I was looking for. I often got calls about houses that weren't online yet.
The first time we looked was around this time last year - and we were told that one of the reasons that houses were moving extra quickly was that people were trying to make sure they were settled into school zones by the start of the school year. If you have any flexibility on when you move you might find things get a little less crazy after February.
Wow, Sibble, what are your dh's thoughts about moving back to the UK?
Well, that's very selfless of you, sibble.
Would dh support that decision? He is originally from Hamilton isn't he?
xminerva, yep I suggest going in and being very nice to the agents (take children with you for extra ahhhhh factor!)let them know what you are looking for. We found ours by being on good terms with a lady in the office and she called us first with the house we are in now, before it had gone online.
I am trying to remember the ages of your children, Sibble.
What would they feel about you moving back? Would they miss the lifestyle more than you?
If they are young now, how do you think they would view that decision as older children/adults?
It's two boys isn't it sibble. Is one a teen? I was wondering the same.
Must be so difficult to wrestle with this kind of stuff.
scroobiouspip was going through the same if anyone remembers? She hasn't been back on here in quite a while, I often wonder if she is still in Welly, or decided to return to the Uk to look after her parent/s.
I am supposed to be baking at the moment. We are having guests at 10 am tomorrow.
But, I have had a long day at a shopping centre with all the children, resuting in a severe case of ICan'tBeArsed-itus.
That can't be an easy decision to have to make Sibble, anything can happen at anytime to make us realise just how far away we are from everyone and I dread that time coming to us. I'm sure whatever you decide, you would have thought about it a lot and it'll be the best thing for your family and you. I'll be thinking of you while you do.
Got a house to see this evening. A new 4 bed in our price range. Small garden but it's fully fenced and we don't need anything massive so can cope with that. For a 4 bed house though, the living space looks tiny. One room for the kitchen/diner/lounge. Half the house is taken up by the integral garage which I kinda think is a waste of space myself. Still, it might be perfect.
Here, tell me what you think. house
I've contacted another one in Mairangi Bay which looks great size wise and got a huge fenced garden. Just hoping they get back to me.
The living space does look a little small - although sometimes it can be a bit deceptive when there's no furniture in there.
Where is the 4th bedroom? If it was downstairs then it could maybe be used as an office/playroom/TV room which might take some of the pressure off the living area a bit?
It does look lovely though...
I agree the living room looks small...you've probably seen this on your searches but this in Bayswater
looks really big. Mind you, the living room is hideous and the kitchen dated. But lots of space! Though a bit above your budget.
I've just been watching some Wanted Down Under programmes on YouTube, I've never seen it before. The look on their faces when they see some NZ houses is hilarious!
And from Bayswater you can catch the ferry to the city - takes 10 mins I think.
That bungalow looks lovely WSS. And actually, I don't think that kitchen is too bad lol.
Bit above budget though. The reason we want $600 or less is so we are able to save for a deposit. We want to buy eventually so really going to have to start saving. We were only renting in the uk too so had no property to sell or anything.
Oh, I heard one of those was set in S Heliers. How did you find them on youtube WSS? I've looked but no luck.
I just searched for Wanted Down Under and loads came up, most are in Australia but a few in NZ. Most of them are looking at houses on the Shore and are amazed that their 3 bed terrace in Liverpool can't buy them a mansion here
We live in one like the bays water one - just as dated. It's big but cold and drawers don't shut and the bathroom makes me weep (Lino and urine from 5 men do not mix well when Lino is poorly fitted). Saying that after a few weeks of horror you get used to it.
Other one looks a bit small on the living space front.
We have found house we like. Solicitor not back till Monday - is it worth doing building report prior to solicitor commenting on the papers?
XMinerva - did I say COLD - DH and I cannot do another winter in the Spider Shack. Check re heat pumps - summer now but seriously come May it starts to turn.
Yeah, it's not a terrible idea to type "heat pump" into the rentals search box on Trade Me to see what comes up.
Grab One has Waiwera family passes (2 adults, 3 kids) for $32 today, pretty good as normal adult entry is about $25.
Bigger than in photos but yes, still too small. Does have the 4th bed downstairs though. Have taken an application form anyway but have another to see in Browns Bay tomorrow so will wait until after that.
ooh how exciting lolly. Is it auction or PON or priced for you? If the former, I wouldn't be so desperate: otherwise I'd go ahead. I think it's very unusual as far as I understand for there to be a serious problem with the paperwork.
(disclaimer - we bought through ignorance and dumb luck).
go on lolly, link so we can see <nosey>
Have had a look now xMinerva. It's not huge, but if it means you can save for a deposit I'd be interested. I think the fourth bedroom would make a big difference being downstairs, children will naturally play in that if you leave lots of toys in there. That's what we've found with DS2's bedroom.
Frik - here you go.
It's too small really as the bedrooms are tiny and it has chuff all land but it's in zone and budget. Rarely do those planets align in my area.
God knows where the furniture would go. Not a forever house but a she'll do until we no longer have horrific childcard costs. It's cute thought, near the beach and flat. Would have to knock out the whole kitchen area.
So I should get cracking on the building report regardless of sols not being about? It's auction (sigh..was thinking pre-auction offer).
I like it. You have flat land which, as you say, is good. And for St Heliers it is pretty decent.
You're thinking of a pre-auction offer? Ooh. Exciting.
I like it too. Main bedroom looks a decent size. Are houses generally selling for lots above CV in St Heliers?
Apparently anywhere between 5-70% over so that's a really good guide for me . Generally I think about $100K over CV seems to be what happens but I heard both agents say at the open homes that feedback had been around CV or only $20-$70K over. Really don't wanmt to overpay (obvioulsy) as we'd need to spoend on the kitchen and it' not my forebver house (when will I ever get my forever house I wonder - always so elusive...?).
Anyway this is closest we've got to sorting ourselves - bit scary I think really.
I can spell by the way...I just chose not to in the last post.
I will miss my rental cat if I have to move out. Love him dearly and the gifts he brings us.
The existing kitchen in that house is way nicer than mine, which is part 1950s cupboards and part 1990s nasty MDF.
kitchen is OK (if you like Blue kitchens) but it's just the location of it it really weird. It's all open plan in a long room with sitting room, kitchen in th middle (which is narrow) and then dining and utility room at the back. Kitchen just blocks all the light as it has some small walls there too. I would have sitting room, dining room and then kitchen at the back and get some more light in.
Can you see I've mentally moved in already. Not good for an auction house
"I heard both agents say at the open homes that feedback had been around CV or only $20-$70K over"
Lolly, I dont' want to teach my grandmother to suck eggs, but I would be suspicious of that. It's an auction, rule of thumb is that estate agents will always undervalue hugely for an auction in order to attract as many bidders as possible. With a fixed price or PON they will overvalue so that your initial bid is as high as possible. So I am not saying they are wrong, just that it seems suspicious to me given the current state of hte property market - DH looked at that last night and reckoned it would end up going for quite a bit more than CV.
I'm guessing that house will go for high 800 - early 900's but I could be completely talking out of my arse! I know nothing about property prices over in that area tbh.
When we were looking 2 years ago there was a shortage of homes in the 8-900 bracket. We found there were lots of small three beds for about 780/800 but for anything a bit bigger there was quite a jump.
Justabout is bang on with the agents undervaluing/overvaluing depending on the method of sale.
Have you bought the sales history for it?
Not thought to buy that. Oh I feel sad now ladies - I had my hopes up we could afford it.
Well you might be able to. But Thelittlest is right, it's definitely worth getting the sales history for it and having a think.
As a total guess (bearing in mind I was looking in St Heliers a year ago and so may be out of date): I was thinking much the same as WSS. But you want to talk to people who know more than us: perhaps pop into a competitor estate agent and ask them for an honest guess as to what they'd expect it to go for at auction?
i think its really lovely lolly (ha! thats 7 l's in a row!)
and size isnt everything ;-)
I also wonder if it would be worth spending money on an E-Value. It's only 50 dollars, and then you will have a much better idea. ? Cos we might be wrong, and either way, it will give you a much better idea of where to pitch your before-auction offer.
i, on the other hand am having a frikking nightmare trying to get a rental that will take a dog!!! i seriously cant believe what a barrier it is. given that we have lived in 8 countries, on 5 continents and i dont even know how many cities, and had pets in every single one, i dont understand this weirdness with not renting to people with pets.
am having to get a letter from my vet stating that my dog is behaviourally sound (wtf?) and from my pet sitter to vouch for her non destroyer status. and this is still no guarantee that it will sway the landlord.
My PILs have a dog and it was a terrible nightmare whenever they had to change rental.
We found a house, not large but big enough for us.
In Browns Bay, woo hoo (that's where we want to be really)
Spoke to landlord and they seem keen on us so fingers crossed.
Yeah lolly don't take my figure as having any kind of basis in fact. I was just guesstimating!
frik rental + pet = nightmare! V hard to find.
Oh, cross posted xminerva, congratulations. Browns Bay is lovely.
My memory from when I was looking in Nov 2011.
St Heliers et al: 3 beds were 550-600. 4 beds 7-800+. But that was before the market leapt. Hence my guesstimate.
But really, don't listen to us. Find someone to value it who knows what they are talking about it.
Woo hoo xMinerva! Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. We'll be (relatively speaking) neighbours!
yay xminerva :-) am now vicariously living through anyone that actually manages to find a house!
we even offered more money, because of the dog. they said no. i mean, how increadibly stupid is that?
Frik, where are you looking? We've seen a few that have said they'll be ok with a well behaved dog.
I was looking into getting a dog myself and a couple of dogs owners have told me that landlords tend to be more accepting if they can meet the dog, you offer an extra bond/deposit and have it written into the contract that you'll have the carpets professionally cleaned when you leave.
What's an e valuation? Last time it sold was 12 years ago apparently.
Oh I feel hrphmmmm. I'm all hot and bothered. Packing for weekend away and I HATE packing.
Tbh I have a price in mind for that house I don't want to pay over as its not dream house. If it goes above I won't feel cheated or upset.
Why is it so hard to just buy a bloody house. I was duped in Scotland with sealed bids and over here you have to fight it out on the patio. Can they no' just put a price on it and be done?! (in scots accent)
There's a company called QV that do online valuations for houses, you can buy a report from them. Tbh though, they don't actually see the inside of the house or anything, I think they just base their valuation on CV and the recent selling price of similar houses in the same area, so I'm not sure if they are really worth getting.
Yep, I thought it was hard buying a place in the UK where we were up against cash buyers all the time. But the bays are something else. I reckon the best thing you can do is research, research, research, then decide what YOU think it is worth. We had a couple of valuations done and after a few months of looking we were pretty accurate.
woohoo to Browns Bay Minerva! Meant to say it but forgot.
tauranga xminerva, and yes, the problem is that the dog will only be joining us about a month after we arrive, so, have to rent with landlords not being able to meet the dog.
i did say to DH, what happens if people are already renting somewhere and then get a dog? do they get evicted? it seems mad. apartments i can understand, but houses with gardens?
I thought Kiwis loved their dogs - is it a big one?
Yay, xminerva, great news.
That house is nice lolly, it would be nice to feel settled somewhere.
Really frustrating though, the way they price or don't price properties!
I have been scouring property porn all nigt and the amount of times I want to scream "Just tell me the 'effin price!" is shocking.
frick, is it a huge beast? It is weird they don't like renting to dog owners.
I was trying to persuade dh to buy a szhitsu, when we first moved here and rang the owners to see how they felt. The said as long as it wasn't a big bastard that would scratch the floors with it's nails, it would be ok!
Maybe that's why? Lots of wood floors here.
Hope you get it sorted.
Browns Bay nice - went there the other day and had lovely day on the beach.
AB if you're looking at Auckland property, do you know you can look up the CV online to get an idea of the value - obviously some houses sell for much more than CV, but it gives you a rough idea.
No, dog is small to medium sized, never dug a hole, scratched a floor, eaten a carpet, messed indoors once. Ever. Even having moved country with us 4 times and she has lived with us in an apartment, and houses with gardens. Literally best behaved most politely mannered dog ever. We get complimented on her all the time, my dog is actually better travelled and mannered than many people! But obviously that's beside the point, I just don't understand the issue with renting and pets in the first place.
The only people in my house now, and until Sunday afternoon, I either married or gave birth to. AND we have absolutely no plans of any description, except perhaps to watch whatever we want on TV, not set the table properly for dinner & stay in our pyjamas longer than is polite in the mornings
I love visitors and all of mine have been very helpful. But it's so lovely and quiet even with my two crazies
Waves to AB as she passes through Cambridge
Oh hooray, vviola. Have been wondering how you were
coping enjoying the influx. I'm sure everyone was lovely but it's also lovely to have your own space again.
I think I want to adopt frik's dog. She sounds much less work than my children.
We've just had truly glorious day on Piha beach. DS2 learnt not to be afraid of paddling, and DS1 swam and surfed like a totally able-bodied child, it was wonderful - AND he walked a little on the sand on tiptoe well. Made it a bit confusing for the lifeguard when we asked for help to carry him back to the car, but hey
C'mere lolly! Come on in for a cuppa
justa sounds great. Have just met up with a friend who has been in Piha over the hols. She said there is such a thing as "The Piha Sprint". Apparantly,the sand is so hot,that that is what people do, when they emerge from the water!
Oh we ended up at Piha a couple weekends ago.
Totally by accident mind.
We decided to "drive west" spent 2 hours lost in the bloody rainforest, saw the beach, drove back again stopping off at a little restaurant called Elevation which had amazing views right over to Auckland City and the sky tower, then came home exhausted.
I get 2nd dibs on the dog!
Elevation has great views.
Just been to outdoor cinema at Silo Park in the city, recommended - market and food stalls there too.
Hi ladies, hope you dont mind me joining in its been really interesting reading your posts even if took me a while to get through it all We are a family of 6 moving over to NZ in June this year, the plan is to rent a house for around a year before we buy. I am trying to work on a rough budget for our living costs but to be honest it all seems very expensive compared to the UK especially the food! Below is what Ive come up with so far, I would be really grateful if you could give me your opinion on whether you think Im way over/under on things. We will be renting in the Warkworth/Rodney area and rentals seem to be around 600-650ish a month for a 4/5 bed house there.
Rental House 2500
Decent broadband 150
Mobile phones 100
Car Fuel 300
Days out etc 500
Clothing,Books, Hair etc 550
Council rates(approx) 180
Thank you so much for any help with this! Hope you are all enjoying summer in NZ, its wet and miserable here ;-)
Hi, Flora, ok
Rent- you could pay 650/week for a house in Rodney but somewhere like Stanmore Bay has 4 beds in the 500s.
Groceries - we are a family of 4 plus dog. I spend 700-800 a month being fairly careful with what I buy.
Phone and Internet - $85 a month plus toll calls (local ones are free). We get 50gb, I think there are some unlimited data deals around. We never run out.
Mobiles, Er, I spend about 10 a month if that, dh is on a contract, think its 39 a month or something? My dcs are too young for phones
Fuel, totally depends how far your commute(s) are. Yesterday price at our local garage was $2.02 a litre for petrol. I prob spend 70 a month, dh at least twice that so your figure of 300 is prob about right.
Power, ours averages at 170 a month, down to about 120 in summer, up to about 250 in winter. We're quite hardy though re cold houses
Water, between50-60 a month
Days out, hmm, how long is a piece of string etc. I spend nothing like 500. Yesterday I went to a big park and the dcs scootered/biked around. In the evening I went to free outdoor cinema and spent $5 on food, took a couple of beers with me to have there. Today I'm going to the beach. My dcs are quite young though so are fine with free stuff. Like th UK or anywhere - a lot of the costs depend on where you go, age of kids, do you take food with you for a day out or do you buy it there etc.
Clothing, books, hair, again nothing like 500! I get books from Book Depository in the UK or the library. I prob don't even spend 50 a month on all those things but I am a second- hand shop sort of person and hate going to the hairdressers so put it off! For my 5 yo I pay $8 a cut and my 2 yo $2 a cut but that is exceptionally cheap.
My drs is 17/visit for adult, $11 child aged 6-18, free under 5. That's at the lower end of the price scale. I have paid as much as $55 an adult at my old surgery (the care I get now is just as good)
Dental, depends if you have shit teeth like me :-). Filling is about 120. Clean by the hygienist 90. Root canal would be 1000 +
Our rates are 150/ month
Others - schools ask for a donation, technically it's voluntary, I don't know how many pay. Mine is 100/ year. Uniforms are more expensive here, no packs of polo shirts for £10 but lots of primaries don't have a uniform.
Er, what else, insurance, we pay $175 a month for house, contents and 2 cars
We have Sky for 70/ month.
I can't think of anything else for now but this is quite long enough. Where will your job(s) be? Rodney has some lovely areas and cheaper houses than closer to the city.
Hi whatshesaid thanks for the reply, thats good to know that we could probably live alot cheaper then if we tried! I bumped the days out up a bit to include things like the kids sports clubs/swimming lessons/birthdays etc which cost us a small fortune at the moment but would be good if we could reduce it down a bit more. We love the cheap and free activities too and hopefully will be able to do more outdoorsy things in nz which would be great. I had completely forgotten about insurance, I'll add that onto my list. Thank you! )
To be fair though, prices have gone up quite a bit in the last few years. Property prices seem to be rising fairly fast in and around Auckland at the moment. It's good to be realistic too.
Sports clubs etc, I don't know, prices are maybe comparable to the UK? we pay 10/week for gymnastics and swimming lessons are about 19 I think.
Warkworth/Rodney are very nice, a long commute to the city though - better if work is on the North Shore.
Oh and you should add car regos to your list - like road tax - 280 a year per car (more for 4WDs). And WOFs which are like MOTs, need to be done every 6 months, costs about $50. Plus car services, repairs etc. AA breakdown etc cover is 120 a year for 2 of us.
I'm so jealous of your domestic petrol costs WWS. We spend a fortune, because the boys have to be driven EVERYWHERE. You've reminded me that we need to check our telephone arrangement too, because we signed up for something on arrival for a year, it was more expensive than it should have been and we are just now free to change. So thank you!
Looking at your list Flora, I'm just wondering if you are being a bit optimistic only assuming you'll visit doctor once a month, with four kids. Dental is free for children though, if that helps!
Oh Piha. I still have nightmares about Piha. Epic "scenic route" to get there, no shade, burning hot sand, baby
and me getting overheated. Not one of our finest days - I think we hadn't got used to NZ beaches at that stage. I suspect if/when we go again it will be significantly more pleasant.
Justa - to be fair, all my visitors have been great & really helpful. But it's draining having to be on the go so much & having to consider different tastes for dinners etc (instead of "this is what I've cooked, eat it or go hungry ). Latest visitor wanted to go to the beach 4 out of the 5 days she was with us. Lovely for her but not always v relaxing for me with my 2 crazies.
Off on holiday on Tuesday though. Should be lovely
Oh I can imagine it would be absolutely dreadful with a young baby. You need really to bring your own shade if you're going to be there for any length of time - we didn't, but only because I planned the day for us only being there a couple of hours, and most of that was in the water.
Re: guests - yes, I know exactly what you mean, even when people are working to help you it's still an extra hassle. I think particularly at the toddler stage in life!
Anyone know any good CHEAP places to get furniture?
Looks like we might have this house and if we do, we'll be moving with just beds and mattresses for the dc and that's it.
Looks like we'll be camping for a while but if we can get a couple cheap bits, that'll be great.
We have bought secondhand bits off Trade Me from time to time.
Love Piha best on a nice autumn, winter or spring day. Like it in summer too but we take a pop up tent.
We went up to Orewa today, on five hours sleep after I got in at 12 and dh got up to go fishing at 5.30 am.
Cheap furniture, yeah, Trade Me. The Warehouse has some cheap shelves, stuff like that, it's not that pretty but it would do. I have some of their shelves like these
for storing kids toys. And they have cheap kitchen stuff. Are you shipping any stuff over?
Been looking at Trade Me.
We definitely have the house
Our stuff that we shipped Is here.
We didn't ship any furniture though as we couldn't afford the costs at the time. It was selling the tv/cabinets/sofas that got us out here in the first place. Dp had been made redundant and this job was the first he was offered so we literally scraped together every penny to get here.
Still camping is fun right. LOL.
I don't know how you feel about secondhand stuff? There is a good secondhand furniture shop in Northcote somewhere. I can find the details if you are interested.
Yes please justa
Don't mind 2nd hand furniture at all.
Congrats on the house xminerva :-)
LOL at the dog being better than the kids, she is, she really is! I said to DH the other day that she has ruined us for ever owning another dog because she really is that well behaved and lovely.
DD on the other hand has ruined us for having any other kids as we are too scared!!
Friend has found us a house that is in the right area, good price, near good school WILL TAKE DOG, and guess what? I hate it. It's about everything I don't want in a house. What am I going to do? We arrive in 3 bloody weeks!!!
Frik - what's the rental term? Would it be worth taking the house so that you can move in somewhere, get settled & established, and then when the term is up, you might be in a position to find somewhere that suits better?
Or do you really hate it that much?
It's quite hard out there at the moment frik with rentals, can you look at it as a temporary thing or is it really that bad?
The only good thing about the house we're in now is the pool. I don't like living here really but it was always going to be a temporary situation which has made it easier to handle,
frik do you have a link to the house? <nosey>
xminerva. If you do get some new furniture, always check out the Salefinder website as it seems like one or more of the big shops always have a sale on.
Right Xminerva, will get back to you re: secondhand shop. Friends of ours recommended it to me but I have lost the address, I'm seeing them tomorrow so will ask again.
Yes, having a pool is wonderful. We are in it two or three times a day at the moment.
(In fact my best day this week was when we went to Takapuna beach in the morning, got home at lunchtime and by 1 pm kids were in the pool, where they stayed most of the afternoon, honestly I think they would be fish if they could).
Xminerva - We started with very little- moved into an empty rental with suitcases and had a bed delivered that day. We've bought quite a lot of furniture from this shop- they have a showroom but also sell on trademe.
He assures me is it sustainably harvested. Gulp. We recently got some other stuff from another 'teak wholesaler' sort of place. I don't think it is teak. At least I hope not!
Also got a sofa set from Target which has been fine.
We have those shelves wss! They are very handy for ds2's little books.
Another thought for second hand. The Sally Army? We drove past one and saw a pine computer desk. It was in perfect condition (looked brand new actually) and it cost $30!
Thanks for the tips re Piha, if we ever go I will buy a pop up tent!
frik What is up with the house? Is it minging?! I think you're best bet is too move in and then look for somewhere else asap. I know that might be a depressing prospect if it's really yuk, but there's not much time.
Or, do the motel thing (they gave us a reduced rate for long term stay) and then look for a better place?
justa so jealous of the pool...one day <stares into distance dreamily>
You can get little boxes that fit into those shelves too e.g. we have all the My Little Pony
shite stuff in one box.
The other really nice thing abouts hte pool (sorry I know this is one of my themes at the moment but i guess it makes a change from grocery prices) is that other kids want to come and swim in it. Which is a ready-made holiday social life for my socially gawky, different kids. I can see that being even more important as they get older.
On a completely different note, does anyone notice that they cook a lot more with Asian (as in Chinese/Korean/Thai) ingredients since moving here, due to the veggie shops having so many more interesting ingredients? I used to cook a lot of pakistani/indian curry, but am now working my way through Deh Hsieng's The Chinese Kitchen. Really enjoying it.
Am wondering about splashing out on a Thai cookery book in due course, any good recommendations?
Oh god. They're coming back 2 hours early, to go to the beach.
because Waiheke doesn't have beaches
So much for my afternoon of pottering about at home getting stuff ready for packing