Should we move to New Zealand?

[lavenderbongo]

DH has the chance of a job in Wellington New Zealand. We are from the UK but currently living in Belgium. My bro and sis live in the uk and i get on very well with them and my parents live in France. My DHs father is in Wales and he rarely sees his two sisters so has no qualms about leaving them behind. I however am really going to miss my family and for this reason I am not sure about a move to the otherside of the world.

Financially it would probably be a good move and I believe our standard of living would improve. We own a house in the UK (with a large mortgage) and if we return to the UK things would be tough and my DH has a 4 hour commute to a job that he no longer likes and which means he never sees out two dds.

Does anyone live in New Zealand and made the move with children? (mine are 20months and 4yrs).

Do you miss your family and can you cope with the distance?

Did you find it easy to settle in and make friends/build a life?

Any advice gratefully recieved.

[lavenderbongo]

Anyone?

[GrapefruitMoon]

I don't live in NZ but one of my siblings does.... one thing I would look at carefully is what the salary would actually allow you to do. I think while you are in NZ you are right that your standard (and quality) of living might be better - but things like flights are relatively more expensive and that might be an issue if you want to travel back to Europe regularly. Plus the NZ dollar/pound exchange rate means that your spending money does not go very far when you get here...

[lavenderbongo]

Thanks GrapefruitMoon - is your sibling happy out there?

[GrapefruitMoon]

I think he is happy - he is married now with a dc. But he hasn't been back "home" since he went - mainly due to lack of money.

[thatsnotmymonster]

we considered this this summer as my dh has had several opportunities to work out there. I am SAHM with three children under 4.

We think our quality of life would be better there and we are very outdoorsy (biking/climbing/skiing/walking) BUT I would want to live in Aukland for the hot weather/beach lifestyle and all the mountain sports are in South Island where the weather is not good and it is very expensive and difficult to travel internally in NZ.

In the end I decided I couldn't live with the decision to remove my children from my mum as she dotes on them and recently separated from my dad.

Also any NZlanders we know, prefer it over here.

[Sibble]

Hi, there are quite a few threads about moving to NZ on here as it there seems to have been a mass exodus (or masses of people considering, if not moving over the past year or so).

We moved 6 years ago. I'm in Auckland which although only an hour by plane is very different to Wellington. Anyway...........

Minuses...(lets get them out the way first

Don't underestimate the distance. It is only 24 hours by plane but x 2 12 hour flights on your own (DH doesn't come back with me) is not fun. I have done the trip about 4 times now.

If you are close to your family, don't underestimate how hard it is. You can't pop home easily when things good or bad happen. My family missed the birth of ds2 who ended up in special care after my caesarian birth. I had no help and dh went back to work the next day. I missed the birth of my neice and the funeral of my gran last month . You can't just pick up the phone because of the time difference.

We are lucky that we can afford the flights, I know many who can't.

Wellington is notoriously windy. I have a friend 'giving it 2 years' there at the moment. The winds have taken their toll and she's probably going home next year. If she could move to Auckland, she would, but can't because their jobs are solely Wellington based.

NZ is very different to the UK, language, people, work ethic. It's hard to break into circles but this could be the same wherever you moved even within the UK.

Crime, social issues, the recession, etc etc all exist here too.

It's a long way from anywhere, I miss Europe and it's buzz, architecture etc..

The cost of living is high, don't be fooled by converting sterling to dollar, think one pound equals one dollar and you're pretty much on par with the cost of living. E.g a loaf of bread $4-5, a whole chicken $12, my weekkly fruit and veggies alone $70, phone bill monthly including calls to UK $150-200.

OK with those out the way the pluses....

After 6 years I wouldn't move home. I've got used to it here and now love it. It's home.

We live on 11 acres, with a huge lap pool, spa, 4 acres of native bush (no snakes, spiders as in OZ ).

The boys attend the local state school 105 pupils, 5 classes, teachers aid and parent helpers. Education great at their age.

They live the life children should lead, no pressure to have gadgets, clithes etc etc...lots of outdoorsy things, after school sport. Ds2's day care is fantastic.

W're 35 mins from Auckland central, 10 mins from beaches. Yesterday we travelled 1 1/2 hours to surf beach, caught crabs, played tennis, surfed, built sandcastles, caught up with friends, had fish n chips dinner then returned exhausted home, jumped in spa to watch the stars then fell into bed. DH is in Brisbane for cricket and rugby jolly!!

We had a fantastic week in Fiji this year. IMO far more relaxing that jostling for sunbeds in Spain or the Canaries

I don't know what else to add..other NZ'er help me. It's hard to quantify except although the list of minus' is long the quality of life here eventually does outweigh them. I also think it depends on where you are from and your circumstances. I moved from London and the slow pace of life here was a killer. I occasionally fly to Melbourne or Sydney, run wild through the shops in a frenzie, sit in cafes, mingle and hang out with commuters in rush hour to feel the buzz - very weird I know . I've recently met somebody who moved from rural norht of England and she's slotted in with no problems. No different to being at home and parents visiting for 3 months shortly. Mine are yet to visit .

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Hi, my BF has just come back (well, actually she's moved to France) after 3 years or so in NZ, and I am very happy about it! From a friend's POV-

its prohibitively expensive to visit, although we kept in touch by e-mail, but finally seeing her again was wonderful

I missed the birth of her first child (which is what propelled her homewards, I think- not the fact that I missed it, but just wanting her folks nearer at hand, although they did visit, but I think she found having parents/ IL's staying with you is NOT the same as having them down the road, when you can get away from them when you want!)

I think they were a bit disappointed with it, at least initially. They moved around until they found a part of NZ they liked, but it wasn't all wonderful, as afr as I could tell, although I'm sure they are glad they had the experience.

I guess it depends whether you are planning to stay there forever or just make it your home for a few years. Good luck, whatever you decide!

[bigTillyMint]

Have you visited?

DH was brought up in NZ, but has no wish to move back there!

When we visited about 8 1/2 years ago, Wellington WAS windy and very hilly. Auckland more tropical. Nothing much in-between - lots of places look like clapperboard "western-film-style" towns.

Nearly all the housing is bungalow sheds (well, that's what they looked like to me) - wooden, very few "proper" houses by English standards, BUT they mostly have big plots and lots have swimming pools in the garden, etc.

Most of DH's friends are there and it's such a shame (many were here for a while, but went back) as Kiwis are really friendly and out-going, etc and we miss them.

They don't really have "pubs" like here - bring a few tinnies round for a barbie... though increasing bar-culture in Wellington / Auckland.

It is GREAT for unspoilt, outdoorsy culture as mentioned above, but not much in the line o shopping/culture (apart from A/W), if that's what you're into.

[Sibble]

bigTilyMint - you're right about the houses. We have more brick houses here in Auckland built over the past few years but on eth whole older houses and those in Wellington are wooden. Apparantly because of earthquakes, you get quite a few in Wellington, my first scared the poop out of me but locals were carrying on as though nothing had happened as they are quite frequent and 'not big'. Wooden houses move with the quake brick have the tendency to fall on you in a biggie!!

They are cold, uninuslated, damp and mould ridden on the whole unless you have money to do them up - but they look great . We have a brick house and hope the quake doesn't come, we also live on the top of a hill in case a tsunami hits - but at least the chances of being blown up by a nutty terrorist is pretty slim here at the moment

[Sibble]

Wellington based mums will now come on here and tell you how wonderful it is - I would say give anything in life a go. You can always go back or you can sit at home and wonder 'what if...........'

[bigTillyMint]

Oh, yes, Sibble, I forgot to say that no-one seems to have central heating - just a wood-burner in one room

When we visited, we put DD (about 1 at the time) to bed in the bedroom (down a corridor from the living-room) at DH's BF's "house" and when DH went to check on her, she was blue and her teeth chattering

Lavender, your DH's current commute sounds horrendous. Could you go and rent your house out while you "try out" Windy Wellington?

We know 2 Kiwi's (both from W) who went back with their families to live, but hot-tailed it back here before long

[lavenderbongo]

Thanks everyone for your advice - Sibble you give a very balanced view and have given us lots to think about.

No bigTillyMint - we have never been - this opportunity has come up and so now we have a big decision to make.

And Sibble - you are right I dont want to wonder "what if" on the other hand leaving my family behind is a very big deal.

Anyway my DH has not got the job yet - he will probably have an interview next week and I will let you know what happens.

Thanks again.