My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Living overseas

Those of you who have taken the plunge and moved from the UK to Oz I have so many questions-can you help/advise?

5 replies

Tobermory · 03/02/2008 19:54

Hi
I am a ridiculously regular Mumsnet reader, though not as regular when it comes to posting. I am here in disguise as I need to make absolutely sure no one from RL sees this and 'recognises' me, outside chance i know but at the mo. our plans are very vague and thus top secret!

So we are thinking, increasingly seriously, of moving to Oz but there are so many thoughts and questions that throws up. I would be grateful if anyone who knows first hand could give me some advice or share their experiences.

We would plan to go in 4/6 years time.

A bit of History. My parents are both deceased. I have one brother who is moving to Melbourne area some time around Easter 2009. He is my only real family and i would love to live near him.

My DH who has been the driving force behind the idea for our move has elderly parents who live close to us. He has given some thought to the practicalities of elderly parents and what would happen if/when. He has a son by his first marriage who is 10. At the moment Dss stays with us every other weekend and additionally summer hols/Xmas. He of course is our main worry. Both of us, DH esp. is torn by doing the right thing by his son but also grasping the opportunity - he is 38 so time is a factor. There are so many issues around him and us, in theory, living on opposite sides of the world, i dont really know where to start in expressing them.

Also wondered about standards of living. Here in the UK we earn between 50K - 60k, i work PT as a teacher, we are mortgage free and wondered what kind of lifestyle we might expect.

This has turned into a very long post. Thankyou so much if you have got to the end and even more so if you get as far as a reply!

OP posts:
Report
Bridie3 · 04/02/2008 12:26

I can give you some thoughts from those left behind I hope you don't mind if I am candid. Lots of people will give you the positives (and there are many).

My brother and his wife moved to Oz about five years ago and divorced two years later.
Things are now calmer in my brother's life again but meanwhile my father can realistically not fly long distance anymore because of his ill-health. My mother is reluctant to leave him for more than days at a time. My brother, meanwhile, has less money because of the divorce.

This could mean that my parents don't see their grandchildren at all this year. They webcam them and email them, etc, but they are heartbroken at not actually seeing them in the flesh.

Make sure you have the money for fares home once a year.

The other thing I'd say is that it's become clear to me that I will be the sibling who will have to manage all my parents' care as they age. I don't live that near to them and it is starting to prey on my mind. My brother and I need to talk about how this might work. Obviously he won't be able to do much in a practical sense but I'd like him to be involved in any decisions I have to make. If your DH has siblings, has he talked to them about this?

Report
Orchide · 04/02/2008 19:22

Bridie, candid is fine, thankyou for the response.

We have talked about his parents and what might happen though have not really given any thought to the one left behind (he has one sister) to bear the responsibility. We have not talked to anyone about it yet - only my brother. As it is several years in advance and lots may change between then and now we want to get all the talking done between ourselves before telling others. I know it will hit hem hard and don't want to cause undue worry or upset too far in advance or unduly. Just in case this doesn't lead anywhere.

Report
Orchide · 04/02/2008 19:26

o bugger!

Report
chloeb2002 · 04/02/2008 23:23

I suppose i can see both sides of the apple cart so to speak. we have moved to aus in nivember both my self and my husband have very very different family dynamics. My family are allready spead all over the world. My mum is currently looking at buying a retirement spot in spain, my brother lives in london but may move to NZ or possibly aus. Our dad lives in bulgaria and extended family are mostly in germany. So my family have always encourages us to live our lives. There is no pressure to look after them in there dotage although i hope they know they can always come to where ever we are and we will help. My husbands family is very different. His mother is divorced and not re married, and shares her house with her daughter and her family. In her ideal world we would have moved in too, or at least next door. Grandchilderen are her right so me taking hers away is the end of the world. she believs i have ruine dher world by taking her son away. My husband is slightly more philosphical, he belives that with his job he would have had to have moved away at some point anyway and that his mother would feel the same about a move to the south of england. I guess it depends alot on what YOU want as a family unit. we want to be able to live on acreage without me working full time, have a large family and enjoy everything the better climate has to offer. Grass isnt allways greener but so far we are doing ok. His mother will probably never visit us but has agreed at least to speak to him on the phone. (which she wasnt going to when we left). so yes you need to make sacrifices and if caring for aged relatives is the most important thing in your life then it would be wrong not to. Parent visas are hard to get but not impossible.
Leaving a son behind would be much harder but i guess the same applies, as the sone gets older he may choose to come and live with you all instead, that would be his choice. Maybe work out how you can get him across once a year for the 6 week break? airlines are fab these days.

Report
Mogwai · 05/02/2008 00:08

except the 6 week break would be mid-winter...

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.