Things to think about when planning to move abroad..

[maveta]

Hi, this is just a general looking for advice kind of thread. I live in Spain with my Spanish dh and we´re expecting our first baby. All of his family and my parents live out here, my sisters live in London. We had a 6 month stint in London which I enjoyed but dh LOVED. He is very very keen that we try living over there again more long term at some point and I am all for giving it a shot.
Now, we aren´t talking about this year, or next year, but within the next few years for sure. When you moved abroad, with kids, what were the main things you needed to think about/ prepare? Did you have a fall back plan or was it sink or swim?
Any stories and advice appreciated...

[slim22]

OMG coming back to london with a toddler.......we're all trying to do the opposite!!!!!!!!!!
My only advice is think about school waiting lists!!!!!!!!!!

[slim22]

and think about it now!!

[maveta]

Well it wouldn´t HAVE to be London, it could be anywhere within an hour or two train journey of London..

[maveta]

Wow, don´t all post at once now!

[MrsSpoon]

You are mad, stay in Spain.

[LIZS]

School applications (timing of move and location) , healthcare, availability of work and cost of living. Presumably language wouldn't be an issue.

[maveta]

Ok so let´s just pretend for a minute that living in rural spain might not be a ´forever´ kind of choice and that the UK might, just might have something to offer.. or, failing that, let´s just pretend that we HAVE to go live there.. any advice from all of you who have moved abroad with families on things you maybe wish you´d thought of/ would consider if you were to do it all again etc etc?

[aol]

schooling
schooling
schooling
catchment areas/houses

health service
cost of living
sunshine (or lack of it) year in/year out
standard of living - UK expensive and standard of living may be compromised, even though salaries higher
frantic lifestyle
cultural differences (eg youff/yob culture, not so prevalent in spain where stll very strong family links)

[sibble]

we looked at going home last year and decided against it. basically we worked out what we currently had and did a cost comparison with moving back to the uk. we then went through the list throwing out what we could live without. we factored in the benefits to living in the uk (free family childcare, having family around us, all that London has to offer). at the end of the day we decided to stay. some things on our list were:

schooling

amenities for children (outdoors, sports, swimming, horse riding and cost involved)

house we wanted/could afford meant seriously long commutes into town - work/life balance gone straight away

salary/cost of living - both of us would have had to work again to maintain our current life style

feeling of being safe/children growing up safe

opportunites

but at the end of the day, you have to listen to your gut insticts and do what you want to do, this process means nothing if you definately do or don't want to move. when we went through it, we just didn't want to move back enough...............i thought i did.

[ghosty]

I don't think Maveta is asking whether she should move back to the UK.
She is asking for advice on what to do when moving internationally with children.

So, my story:

When we left the UK for NZ we went 'sink or swim' - sold up completely and pretty much burned every bridge (if it went wrong we would have to go back and live with my parents and start all over again).
We didn't have the attitude of 'if it doesn't work we can always go back' although that was in the back of our minds I suppose. We definitely didn't give ourselves a time limit of say 18 months - I think it never works when people do that as they see the 18 months through then almost always go back.
We had the attitude that it was forever. And to be honest, I would always say to people that it takes at least 2 years before you can possibly begin to know if it is working for you or not. The first year is a novelty, everything is new ... the second year is consolidation. If you are still unsettled with no friends after 2 years then yes, possibly look at turning around and going back.
It does wind me up when people go home after a year ... saying it didn't work. How can they possibly know that after a short 12 months. Anyway ...
If your children are under school age I guess you can live anywhere where there are playgroups etc. But heading for school age you do need to think about the schooling in the area you live. The first house we bought in NZ was a lovely house but in a very dodgy schooling area. We didn't think it through as DS was only 2 at the time. When he was 4 we woke up to smell the coffee and realised that we needed to do something about it. Luckily we were able to buy in an excellent schooling area so we moved (2 weeks before he started school - LOL)

We lived in NZ for 5 years. Loved it. It has become my home.

However, due to DH's work, we moved to Australia a week ago (Melbourne). I am now in the very bizarre position of missing NZ dreadfully and not really thinking about the UK. Very strange.

We haven't burned our bridges this time, in that we have kept our house in NZ - renting it out. And we are renting here. This is mainly because DH's company is an NZ firm and there is a high possibility we may be moved back - so it made sense to keep our options open a bit more.

However, I still have the attitude that I am here to stay - I have to, otherwise I won't put the effort in to make friends and become a part of the landscape ... If I keep telling myself it is only for 3 years I will just count off the days, which will be a waste of time. You need to embrace the new country and dive in the deepend headfirst ...
Schooling was the utmost consideration for finding a house to rent here. Need a decent school - DS is 7 and has had 2 years in a good school, I wanted something comparable. So we chose a few areas with decent schools, drew circles on the map around those schools and waited for a reasonable house to come up for rent. Took a while but we found one in the end.

On a practical level, nearer the time you should get rid of lots of stuff, it is a great opportunity to get rid of clutter - I finally said goodbye to all out baby gear in the last month (DD is 3 now, have no need to have buggies, cots and high chairs in the garage) ....

Sorry for length of post ... hope it helps a bit though ....