After months of a potential move to the US being on then off, then on again, we have just got back from a week's scouting trip. DH would be working in Manhattan and we (us and three DC, aged 11, 9 and 6) would be living in Greenwich, Connecticut. It's supposed to be a two year gig and we would move in Jan.
The trip didn't go quite as planned. We were all exhausted all week, probably due to sharing a hotel room, jet lag etc. The area was nice but extremely upmarket and I'm not sure I'd fit in. There's no opportunity to go back and look at other areas. We found a house we liked and the kids spent a day in their new school which they all enjoyed. But - despite that, none of them are very keen to go and the middle one is absolutely bereft at the thought. He keeps crying and is very upset.
The trip also threw up a lot more questions than it answered. DH and I were expecting us all to come back enthused and up for the challenge of it all, but no-one is really. I'm very worried that we will have a lower standard of living than we do here. We will see less of DH as he will be working really hard to set up his company's new office over there. He's already away a lot and that won't improve. Our kids do a lot of after school activities and we were horrified at the cost of them over there. My son plays tennis to a high level here and trains 4 times a week. To replicate that there we are looking at having to pay $7 - $10k a year. We are worried that despite a decent housing allowance and school fees being paid by the company we will have to subsidise it to such an extent that we will come back £20k - £30k worse off than if we stayed. There's also the lack of support network, which I knew about before we went but really hit home. Our lives are pretty stressful here anyway and I'm worried it might tip us over the edge if we move - cause problems in our relationship.
If we don't go DH will still go over there a few times a year, benefit from the same stake in the new company as if he went. But will we regret it forever? Is it okay to sometimes think we are best off where we are as everyone is happy and settled. I like adventure but not sure this is for us.
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Help - To move or not - 1 day to decide
36 replies
highlystrung · 18/10/2016 10:14
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