Do you know anyone who had a two-year posting then resumed their previous life?

(20 Posts)
flipdoodle Wed 20-Apr-16 22:35:58

I keep hearing - Well, originally we came for 18 months, but that was 12 years ago! Or - Our first move was to X for a couple of years, and since then we've been to Y and Z and now we're off to Q.

I'm halfway through degree course, and the deal is I can suspend for two years and rejoin the course easily. If I'm away for any longer than that it's much harder to get back into it, and I can't imagine being away longer and still wanting to go back.

At the moment I have to believe I'm coming back, firstly just to get through my exams over the next few weeks, and also so I don't get too depressed at the idea of the waste of time the last two years could end up being, and at the thought of not having a plan, yet again.

But at the same time it feels like such a huge step into a completely different life I can't imagine being able to hold on to our old life and stepping right back into it in two years' time. Does it ever happen like that?

KateInKorea Wed 20-Apr-16 23:53:07

What is driving the break? Is it you or a partner relocating?

But to answer, yes you can... We are doing it. Contracts signed and at the house hunting stage. It has been good to be away, I can't wait to get 'home' (which is a city Y or Z for us).

Can you continue the studies in your new place?

RomComPhooey Wed 20-Apr-16 23:58:19

Can you transfer to another university and use the credit/modules you have to join a course locally part way through and complete your course there? It is usually possible in the UK and even between European countries, where there is a framework for credit transfer. Not sure about internationally.

Laptopwieldingharpy Thu 21-Apr-16 00:26:42

Can you transfer or continue with distance learning?

HerRoyalNotness Thu 21-Apr-16 02:33:37

I don't know anyone who has stuck to the original time frame tbh. I've been away from home 20yrs myself. And out 'last' move 8yrs ago was for a 2.5yr job that just keep going... Sigh.

Concur with the others. You might as well try to finish your degree in the 2 years you're away. Then you are done when your next adventure awaits.

MadamDeathstare Thu 21-Apr-16 03:37:07

It sounds like you have a definite reason to move back though. At the end of our secondments we would have been going back to the jobs we originally left. Instead we were both offered substantial promotions and pay rises to stay. We had no particular reason to return to the UK, doing so would have meant a huge reduction in pay, opportunities, and reduction in quality of life. After all, where would you rather live, in an estate outside Coventry or between Pasadena and Hollywood?

XingXingFox Thu 21-Apr-16 04:55:37

We did it! Two years in HK and now back. DH would have stayed but I didn't want the life of a trailing spouse or for our children to grow up expat kids. It was perfect, an amazing two years without compromising my career or values.

flipdoodle Thu 21-Apr-16 06:23:27

Should have said in my op, it's not possible to continue my studies while I'm there. It's a practical course so can't do long distance, and the degree doesn't exist where I'm going, it's a bit niche.

Good to hear from a couple of people that have done it/are doing it.

Xingxing - has it been hard to have that discussion with DH if he wants to stay?

We had no particular reason to return to the UK, doing so would have meant a huge reduction in pay, opportunities, and reduction in quality of life. This is my worry really. Yes I would have a reason to come back, but hard to prioritise my potential future career over the more immediate benefits of staying. I have a bit of a fantasy where we love it out there, but come back for two years so I can finish, then go back once I'm qualified so I can work out there. Probably not very likely though!

Chasingsquirrels Thu 21-Apr-16 06:49:10

We went for a 2 year contract, stayed for 2 + 1/2 years, mainly to get another holiday out of it, then came back. Not to exactly the same as after about 3 months we then moved city, but only 60 miles rather than the other side of the world.

Out plan gad been for H to finish the qualification he had been doing by correspondence while there then emigrate. It didn't happen.

Laptopwieldingharpy Thu 21-Apr-16 07:22:08

You seem keen to go and ready to accept that you may end up staying and in limbo.
You MUST find a way to put those 2 years to good use. Is there something you can do to complement your current degree course?
Something in that field and unique to your destination?

flipdoodle Thu 21-Apr-16 09:34:52

I'm definitely keen to go, the problem is I think my mind is half way there already but I've got exams to get through first! It's the limbo I'm not comfortable with.

The university have given me contacts out there to get some kind of experience while I'm there, but I don't know what kind of thing I'll be able to do. And again, it'll all be pointless if we end up staying. I just want to know we'll be coming back. At the moment there's nothing to say we won't, but best laid plans and all that. Like your DH ChasingSquirrels. What did he end up doing?

fairgroundsnack Thu 21-Apr-16 09:36:33

We did this when I was a kid - went to Hong Kong for 2 years then came back and resumed our previous life, living in our old house which had been rented out. It was for my dad's job and my mum was adamant that it would be for 2 years and no more!

Ancienchateau Thu 21-Apr-16 09:43:09

Most people I know stay for longer than planned, us included. Can you finish your studies and then take the job abroad in 2 years? Then you can find work with your new qualification and won't have to be a trailing spouse which is pretty challenging ime.

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim Thu 21-Apr-16 10:24:26

I think I remember you posting about it when the job first came up, are you doing some sort of health course?

We considered moving abroad for 1 year, returning to our old life, and didn't go ahead with it. Partly because the idea of coming back to the same house etc but not having the kids school places (oversubscribed school) made me feel really anxious. Instead we are going abroad next year, probably for 1-2 years but it will be open-ended & driven by our desire to return...

flipdoodle Thu 21-Apr-16 10:35:30

Can you finish your studies and then take the job abroad in 2 years? Nope, job offered and accepted - contract signed and flights booked grin It wasn't a possibility at the time either, kind of now or never.

Yes that was me posting before, and yes, a health course. Oh god don't talk to me about schools. The lovely school they're at now is hugely oversubscribed. We're very local so would go to the top of the waiting list when we get back, but occasionally I wonder if we should try to save up for a similarly local private primary for them to go to while we wait, rather than have to go miles away to the nearest available places.

flipdoodle Thu 21-Apr-16 10:47:02

I'm generally happy about the move. I guess my mind is somewhat overwhelmed by the unfathomable unknown of moving half way round the world and is focusing in on an easier unknown to stress about. It's totally within my/our power to make sure we come back in two years time, so I should hold on to that, and know that if plans change, it'll be for the best at that time.

Plans change. I should go with the flow... smile

XingXingFox Fri 22-Apr-16 14:38:37

Hi flip not really, I'd gone to help him in his career and he loved it. He was very clear that it was my turn to have my career/wishes put first. It did suit me to be at home with a small child while we were away but I had given up my dream role to enable him to go to HK. He felt (and I do too) that it would have been selfish to try and make me stay. we did have an incredible time and loved it but it wasn't right for me or our children to stay long-term.

MyFriendsCallMeOh Fri 22-Apr-16 14:53:37

Moving disrupts everything but if it's a move for the better (pay / lifestyle / opportunity) then sometimes it's worth dropping something to pursue that move. I've had to turn down job offers because of a move, also wind up my own company for another move. But it can also offer you opportunities. I trained as a translator but years later found myself retraining as a swimming teacher as there was huge opportunity and demand for that role, absolutely adored it (then we moved and I had to close down my swim school, now I'm an educational consultant again with my own company but the other side of the planet). Never underestimate what a move can throw at you!

Would it be the end of the world if you didn't finish your degree and maybe pursued something else?

MyFriendsCallMeOh Fri 22-Apr-16 14:53:47

Moving disrupts everything but if it's a move for the better (pay / lifestyle / opportunity) then sometimes it's worth dropping something to pursue that move. I've had to turn down job offers because of a move, also wind up my own company for another move. But it can also offer you opportunities. I trained as a translator but years later found myself retraining as a swimming teacher as there was huge opportunity and demand for that role, absolutely adored it (then we moved and I had to close down my swim school, now I'm an educational consultant again with my own company but the other side of the planet). Never underestimate what a move can throw at you!

Would it be the end of the world if you didn't finish your degree and maybe pursued something else?

flipdoodle Fri 22-Apr-16 15:06:28

I guess not Oh, but before I became a SAHM I had a quite a history of jumping from one thing to another, and this has been the first time I've felt like I've found something that I enjoy and that I could be good at.

Sounds like you've found some great things to do as you've moved around, I hope I can find things like that to do.

That's good to hear XingXing, I'd like to think DH would have a similar attitude too.

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