how long to settle?

(12 Posts)
waitingforsomething Tue 22-Mar-16 01:13:43

Moved to singapore a few weeks ago with 2 very young kids. I know it's early days but I am finding it tough. It's hot, I'm homesick and I've joined every group going and don't seem to be able to fix up meetups that are suitable for both children.
I really miss my friends and my parents and can't stop thinking about home.
I'm getting out with the kids as much as I can but just feeling lonely. We are only here a year: is it going to to take all that time to settle?

KateInKorea Tue 22-Mar-16 01:39:27

It does take a while and it is hot here isn't it.
Whereabouts are you on the island? If you want to meet up with a friendly face then pm me (our kids are primary school age)

What I have found useful is planning trips away so we had something to look forward to.

I have also found the time difference very difficult to manage. It is so frustrating, but I would hate to return saying I've spent 2 years just being unhappy.

EBearhug Tue 22-Mar-16 01:47:14

There are recognised patterns to how people feel when they move overseas - you can probably find something if you google.

HerRoyalNotness Tue 22-Mar-16 01:52:55

They say it takes about 18mths and I've found that to be true for me. If you're only there for a year you need to just keeping throwing yourself at everything going, accept invitations to everything, sightsee, travel and treat it like a year long holiday.

SunshineandGin Tue 22-Mar-16 02:07:49

It took me a good 6 months to feel like I'd found good friends, I came out to Singapore alone though so I'm not sure if that made it easier or more difficult.
I think I'd suggest separating in your plans that you want friends to see with your children during the day and friends to see for yourself in the evening. Do you have a helper? Is your husband/partner able to get home at a reasonable time so you can get out and do your own thing sometimes?
How old are your children? I'm a nanny here little one was just turned two when I came here to look after her and her previous nanny had never taken her to any playgroups or classes or anything so I had to totally start from scratch. I found the ANZA group really friendly and they had play meet set up for every Friday morning at Go Go Bambinis in Dempsey hill, worth checking if that's still going as always lots of friendly mums and dads there (and you might even manage to sit down and have a drink while the children play!) Also check out New Mum's Support Group, it's for people either new babies or new to Singapore and they have lots of regular events and activities across the island so there's likely to be something close to you.
If you are feeling brave you could write a post on one of the Facebook groups like Real Singapore Expat Wives I've met the majority of my friends via Facebook but it did take time to find my "tribe." There's another group called Singapore expat gal pals which is pretty active too and I know there are some mums on there.
Feel free to pm me as well. My little one is about to turn 4 and is at school every morning now but I'd be happy to arrange to play one day in the holidays coming up if you like.

SunshineandGin Tue 22-Mar-16 02:08:14

Sorry didn't realise I was writing so much there! Hope it helps though.

waitingforsomething Tue 22-Mar-16 04:24:04

We are in Thomson. My daughter will start school every morning in April so that will help her to be less restless.

My husband is at work - just about home for bedtime.

I don't have a helper yet but I plan to get one quite soon.

I didn't realise how hot it was here. I'm not sure I like it much but I know I need to make the best of it somehow. I just miss home- I was always nervous of coming

waitingforsomething Tue 22-Mar-16 04:24:23

Thanks all for your responses- it does help

Glastokitty Tue 22-Mar-16 06:08:38

The first six months is bloody hard. I felt much happier when it was over, but only fully settled after 18 months or so.

DessertOrDesert Tue 22-Mar-16 06:45:45

3-6 months, but I'm in a big expat community, not i n the city, so poss easier to find like minded people - noone has family or a group with a long static history.

Looks to be mid 30s for you? It will be the Humidity and change that will be hitting you. I think you'll slowly get used to it (except I have a feeling your humidity stays high much of the year, in which case it might be harder) people here still wearing jumpers, and were at 30!!!!

For another 10 months, I'd not worry to much about really close friends, but find some you can rub along with, and get out of the house.

Been here 6 months, and about to go and help organise an Easter event for Sunday - Dads at work, but most schools on Spring Break.

Hope you have a lovely day.

waitingforsomething Tue 22-Mar-16 09:51:13

Thanks. Yes it's the humidity rather than the temperature that's hard going

KateInKorea Tue 22-Mar-16 10:42:12

Even Singaporean people think it is hot this week.

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