Melbourne vs Tokyo

[TakeMeUpNorthMountain]

DH and I are Australian but have lived in London for the last 10 years. We now have three young children - 5, 3 and 1. We're ready for a move and DH has been interviewing for a new role. We'd been considering SE Asia and Australia. DH has received a great offer for a Melbourne role and is interviewing this week for a Tokyo role.

A move to Melbourne would be a forever move. We have family and friends there, we know it, it's a great city, it's a safe, sensible choice.

But we are very tempted by the idea of a Japanese adventure. It would probably be more like a five year move and we'd be likely signing up for an expat life from here on. Probably not the sensible choice but I'm having trouble closing the door on the idea of more travel, more living away from Australia.

I would be a SAHM but could probably be able to work in both places. Melbourne would be easier for me career-wise, as I have worked there previously.

Am interested in hearing any general views on being an expat family, living in Tokyo, anyone made a similar decision? Are we being selfish, wanting adventure when the kids would do better with stability? Is living in Tokyo with three young kids totally insane??

Sorry for the epic post and thanks in advance for any thoughts!

[MrsTawdry]

As Maya Angelou said..."My son's security and stability is me..."

When a teacher told her that he needed to stay put...she took him to live in many cities and countries and there's nothing like travel to broaden a mind.

I'd look for a forum for expats in Tokyo in your shoes...being a SAHM in Asia would be vastly different than in Melbourne...

[TakeMeUpNorthMountain]

Yes indeed, MrsTawdry, agreed! Thanks for the thoughts. The children are so young still that as long as they have us, I really do think all will be well. Yes, will continue my trawl of Japan expats sites.....

[PeriPathetic]

Tokyo with kids is wonderful. Best place I've ever lived.

[TakeMeUpNorthMountain]

Oh Peri, really?? Oh God. Why was it so good? Were your kids in international schools or local? Did you speak Japanese before you went? Please could you tell me something about your experience?

[chloeb2002]

No personal knowledge at all... But I have always heard that Japan is eye wateringly expensive..

[PeriPathetic]

Nope! No Japanese before we went but it was such an amazingly beautiful and special place, that mattered little. We managed. It truly is a fabulous country full of incredible people. Please feel free to pm me to chat further :-)

[PeriPathetic]

Here's a taster of everyday life in Japan which just popped on my FB feed. www.tsunagujapan.com/30-unexpected-things-you-can-only-see-in-japan/

[Laptopwieldingharpy]

THERE IS NO FORUM FORUM WITH INFO ON FAMILY/SCHOOLS IN TOKYO EXCEPT IN A TIME WARP PRE-2006!

Arghhhhh sorry not very helpful but I have been looking for weeks! I registered on expat forum etc.... but no answer whatsoever!

We have tons of friends who left post 3/11 and many would go back in a heartbeat. We have lived in Sg & HK and everyone says Tokyo is just better in most ways.

My twopence (comparing with London, Sg & HK)

• accommodation is not that expensive, well maintained but smallish. ( i trawled the current rental classifieds. Bedrooms 2 & 3 are veeeery small)
  
• Cost of life is sensibly higher (ie: in Tokyo there is no living full time help or child minders, taxis, western groceries & restaurants, schools & extra curriculars)
  
• schools are expensive but no problems with waitlists and generally a high level of expectation and achievement.
  
• Taxes (coming from London I suppose that's OK)
  
• 4 proper seasons, a great train network and a varied beautiful land and culture to explore.
  
• After years of fruitless exposure to mandarin and cantonese I would so welcome a bit of "delicatesse" and apparently, comparativeley learning Japanese is a breeze (hopeful). I can certainly believe the total immersion helps.
  

Children are treated like royalty everywhere. We holidayed there with 18mths & 5yo and it was just wonderful.

And then of course there is the radiation issue. Nobody I know there is alarmist. We die a slow death by asphyxia in HK anyway.

Peri, can I PM you too?

[PeriPathetic]

Please do :)

[Yabbie]

Hello, have you found Tokyo Mothers group? Website and facebook group, lovely active group will be able to help.
I'm pregnant and living just outside Tokyo. It's pretty easy to live here without speaking much Japanese there are lots of international schools and nurseries, and English speaking doctors are easy to find. But beware of waiting lists for child care for government nurseries. Babysitters are generally not a thing here too.
Having said that I'd also consider living in Yokohama, easy commute to Tokyo, lovely seaside city, big international community, child friendly local government too.
Good luck with your decision!

[TakeMeUpNorthMountain]

Yabbie, thanks for the Tokyo Mothers tip, will take a look. Singapore has now come onto our horizon and DH is very keen so Tokyo has taken a back seat. The career prospects in SP seem more attractive for DH.

I'm torn though. Tokyo seems to promise some pretty random adventures

And yes, yes Laptop, there DON'T seem to be any recent Expats in Japan forums!! Will have to start one if we get there!

Thanks all for your thoughts. What would I do without Mumsnet. Certainly need to visit Japan now, even if only for a holiday.

[Chchchchanging]

Tokyo is very foreign in comparison to the uk move you've already made so you'd need good language supprt assuming you or do don't speak Japanese already?
It's a great friendly country
Education is very competitive and women in some organisations struggle in the glass ceiling hierarchy but it will depend in industry
It's a fascinating country and city
Make sure you get a huge housing allowance as accommodation is tiny and £££££ even compared to HK etc
Enjoy your adventure