Does the heart always win ?????

(9 Posts)
scottswede Fri 02-May-14 09:00:13

Has your heart or head decided where the best place to be is?

In my situation, my head is saying stay and my heart is saying go (home).
I have written list after list comparing countries with every conceivable pro and con I can think of. The practicality of staying here always wins through on paper BUT I can't seem to accept that this would be it for me.
It really makes no practical sense to move back home but emotionally I can't be at peace with that.
I know some on here have returned home, has it been a purely emotional decision or just more practical or both?

So, does the heart always win in the end ?

chloeb2002 Fri 02-May-14 09:16:33

I think as a migrant it depends why you moved. I often think screw it we will go back to the uk.. Friends.. Family all nearby. But our kids are Aussies now. They live outdoors. Play sports.. We live under an hour to the Cbd but 10 mins to white beaches. On acreage. So no. My heart often flits to the uk.. But my brain will always win wink

Mostly the employer wins in my experience.....

pupsiecola Sat 03-May-14 10:38:46

Education won for us, and education could stop us following our hearts and our heads elsewhere.

I think it also depends on what/who you have in the UK. That's so much of the "heart" of it isn't it? And you say you think about family and friends back home. We aren't close to family and having moved to a different area we're not close to old friends either. Other friends are scattered around the globe anyway.

Such a tough one. I think if it's really compelling finance wise you can tough it out if it's going be life changing and then return home if that's where you see yourselves growing old.

Interesting question!

CQ Sat 03-May-14 10:43:15

Education brought us home, with 2 teens to get through exams and no decent secondary schooling where we were. Once they are gone I'm pretty sure we will upsticks and go abroad again.

Although I am putting down roots here in the community, so we'll see - I may feel too settled to go again.

Never say never is my motto.

giggly Sun 04-May-14 17:00:57

Oh blimey I have this dilemma every day. But it comes down to money and family, head for money we will be finically better off in UK and heart I need to be physically close to my family so home it issmile

FlipFantasia Mon 05-May-14 00:36:39

I think it's a balance - as kids grow the 'foreign' country becomes their home and that has to be a factor. I know people who relocated 'home' when their kids ranged from 8-14 and the older the kids the more problems (with some kids ultimately going back to the 'foreign' country to study or as young adults post-uni).

I also have adult friends (mostly diplo brats or oil&gas kids) who feel they have no 'home' which can be both a positive and a negative. I also have friends now raising their own families in the foreign service or oil&gas sectors (many of the couples are bi-nationality, which adds to the mix).

Home for me is Ireland. Home for my kids will be America (dh is American, both kids were born in London, we moved here two years ago this Sept). I love to visit home, my (now elderly) mum and most of my siblings are there and I daydream about living there/retiring there. But then I remember I left 20 years ago this summer (as a teen, not expecting to never live there properly again) and living there is very different from my imaginings. And realistically my home is where my family - of DH and DC - is.

PossumPoo Mon 05-May-14 07:43:33

At the moment the head is winning...it is financially more beneficial to be in the UK. But it's getting harder and harder to ignore the heart.

We will leave before DD starts to identify as British for the reasons mentioned above (also DH is Irish and with our families in Australia and Ireland we really have no connection here).

castlesintheair Wed 07-May-14 12:55:33

For me it's education. Not sure if that is head or heart confused but we will be returning to the UK because of it.

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