A really nosy question.

(91 Posts)
VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 20:15:08

I've wanted to ask this question for ages.
I'm always curious as to how people end up living overseas.
I'd love to hear people's stories - whether it's work or family or some other reason.
I'm being very nosy,but if anyone would care to share,I'm all ears!

Salbertina Wed 16-Oct-13 20:40:45

Stupidly itchy feet! Didn't quite realise
Full repercussions.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 20:43:59

That's making me feel even nosier Salbertina grin

I just wonder things like: Does it just 'happen' or is it a conscious choice?
(ie pursuing a particular career)

TippiShagpile Wed 16-Oct-13 20:47:46

I was "asked" (ie told) to go abroad to work on a particular matter for 6 weeks. I ended up living there (wonderful place, amazing people) for 2 years.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 20:51:57

I need more details please. grin

I need to know where you are and stuff like that.

Like I say,I'm being unashamedly nosy!

Tippi what happened? Was there more work available or did you have to find something? Could you tell me where?

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 20:53:03

What line of work,etc etc?

I am so horribly curious about it all and actually quite envy if the truth be known...

Did part of my degree abroad (erasmus exchange) and ended up returning straight after I graduated. Stayed there for nearly 15 years, met and married DH, had 2 DC then DH persuaded me to move to his home country. Don't see myself ever returning to the UK now.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 21:03:11

Do you mind saying where you have settled surrounded ?

Salbertina Wed 16-Oct-13 21:08:16

Same shit, different place.

Or

Once in a lifetime opportunity.

Dunno' madness, really.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 21:21:55

It sounds like you're not entirely happy Salbertina sad

TippiShagpile Wed 16-Oct-13 21:23:23

I was working in a big law firm and I was asked to work on a massive case abroad - I think I was asked to help out for 6 weeks. It was a lovely offshore jurisdiction but still 2 years away at the drop of a hat was hard. Lovely place but I missed my friends and family.

Salbertina Wed 16-Oct-13 21:26:55

Am in a weirdly beautiful, weirdly awful place (S Africa) And gets complicated longer you stay, end up rooted in two places so wrench either way.

Liara Wed 16-Oct-13 21:27:57

First move abroad was to the UK to study at uni. Met and married dh.

Second move abroad was to Japan to accompany dh who was moving there. Didn't like it, so came back after a year.

Third move abroad was to France so we could have some sunshine back in our lives. Had been living in London and I was wilting through lack of sunshine.

Fourth move was to Spain so my dc could learn some Spanish (lovely weather was a factor too).

Not overseas anymore but initially went overseas (Bangkok) for a two year adventure with plans to come back to uk and settle down and be sensible. Went with now DH for his job - accountant. Had a ball. Came back. Bought a house. Got married. Got bored. Ended up in Vietnam for 6 years. Got pregnant and wanted to be closer to home. Ended up in Bulgaria for three years. Then Hungary for 6 years.

Then moved back to uk although a new area for me for school for DS.

Don't regret any of the travels and made some fab friends. Just regret that they are scattered all over the world now. I need Star Trek type travel.

I went for work, not that i have a great career or anything, but had some old contacts, was separating from x and needed a fresh start, so I went. I've been away 14years since then (had only bedn back in homd country for 6mths, lived abroad prior to that for 4 years).

Ii'd only go back home once my mother is dead, sad but true. I stay away to keep her out of my life. Sounds bonkers really. Dh wouldnt move to my home country though, i feel aggrieved that our DC won't have any roots or grow up with people that have known them forever. We keep moving for work, guess we have to stop at some point but have no clue where we would live. DH from the grim north and don't want live there either, currently in US.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 21:38:11

This is all just fascinating and eye opening.

Salbertina you do sound so torn. Through my rose tinted specs these things never occur to me - that you may end up putting down roots and investing yourself in two different places.

Liara you make it sound so effortless and carefree.

I suppose I always intended to travel,work abroad,do a kibbutz etc etc - just do something a little different but it has eluded me one way or the other so far,and I always wonder how it happens for other people...

Liara Wed 16-Oct-13 21:50:28

I like it. I get very itchy feet every 7 years or so. I always wanted to 'see the world' and a decade of short-term travel taught me that zipping between airports and hotels doesn't really do it for me, so settling somewhere for at least a year is necessary.

I also had a couple more moves between cities within countries. Planning another one in a couple of years' time, but then need to settle down as don't want the dc to have a move in their teens. I think that can be a bit hard socially speaking.

Once they are grown up and leave home, though, who knows?

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 21:59:54

Do you have it all sewn up (like housing,employment,adequate funds) before you make a move Liara or do you just wing it a bit?

So far those that have posted seem to have had a less pre meditated experience than I supposed would be the case,and I wonder how much it involves you being a little bit bolder,and more intrepid,and basically just braver than many of us !

Liara Wed 16-Oct-13 22:02:07

Am crying with laughter at the notion of my having anything at all sewn up.

Winging it is an understatement.

But in fact the whole launching myself into whatever might come is my favourite bit.

Fortunately dh is pretty game.

I came over from overseas because i just wanted to have an experience of somewhere else.

The Visa requirements made us stay a bit longer and now we are close to 15 years in the UK when we were only coming for a year to see what the UK was like.

See I am a very introverted person, so I guess i had to be very brave or foolish to just go off, although I did know one person, the chap that got me my job. I had never lived alone and had to find an aprtment, car, furniture, the lot, and learn to pay bills and make friends. It was the making of me really. I am still a loner but have managed to make some brilliant friends along the way. I have to make more of an effort with this as DS1 says he is lonely and friendships are very important to him.

nemno Wed 16-Oct-13 22:13:48

10 years in SE Asia for DH, me and 2DC.

We just had really itchy feet and having got through the toddler years and not yet at a disruptive stage of the DC's education, DH actively sought an overseas job.

It wasn't meant to be so long and I would have come home like a shot after 7 years but DC's education couldn't sensibly be disrupted until the 10 years were up.

It was great on the whole. Really pleased we did it and I think it was very good for the DC.

VerySmallSqueak Wed 16-Oct-13 22:19:42

This is on the whole,really positive stuff!

I'm so glad I've asked!

I imagined in a very naive way that loads of people would be posted with some obscure government department like in the films blush grin

It's really really interesting so would love to hear more..

Apanicaday Wed 16-Oct-13 23:10:36

DH got made redundant, I was browsing for jobs to help him out in his search, and came across one that included a two year secondment in Aus. I told him he should apply (half as a joke). He did. Neither of us thought it would go any further. Next day he got asked for an interview, 4 days later he had the interview, and was offered the job. We had never even really thought about living overseas. Accepting it so spontaneously was totally out of character for both of us (me particularly). We had a brilliant two years in Aus (back in uk now).

VerySmallSqueak Thu 17-Oct-13 00:29:20

Seems that it can often just sort of happen - certainly not a case of having decided to pursue a career that would open up the possibility of living overseas in most of your cases.

Cider what did you do when you ended up in Vietnam,if you don't mind me asking?

It doesn't strike me as somewhere you could easily go and just wing it for anything more than a short period of time.

Liara do you stay in the same type of work through your moves or just see what work is around?

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