Where to Live in NZ Part 8(723 Posts)
Hi Frik, just to start us off quickly
I have to do school run in a second but just want to say....
I had to sell/buy/move house three days after C-section: one day after C-section our house sale fell through: we had to arrange a second mortgage and find tenants. It was awful.
I so get the nightmare of property and major life section stuff piling up at once.
The property stuff will work itself out. The rest is not in your hands.
Right must go and be happy schoolgate mother
So frik, it looks like your options are a) buy the place for much much less so you can afford to renovate etc or b) walk away from the sale. What does your dh think?
There are a few options frik. One would be to rent a small place for your MIL for a few months- it'd be cheaper than buying a house that needs work. It sounds like the work would take a few months anyway so you need a short term solution.
Thanks ladies, it's very helpful to sound off here and have such sensible sane responses :-)
I sent off building report to agent, told her to forward it on to vendors and tell them that we were prepared to get more invasive testing done and have builders come in to quote us for the work ONLY if vendors were prepared to negotiate sharply downward on price. Of not, deal off. So she called a couple of hours ago to say the vendor is pretty horrified at the report as when they bought it 11 years ago, there were none of the problems. I said to the agent, um yes, but you do actually have to maintain a building over 11 years!! Anyway, upshot is that the vendor is willing to drop price, and I've asked for a further ten days to go unconditional. So at least DH will actually be back then!
DH is still keen, he says he doesn't mind about the longer time frames etc etc, I haven't said anything yet, but the time frames really really worry ME. I'm the one that's going to be stuck home with my mil all day with nowhere to escape to. Not him.
Anyway, crisis not diverted, just in a holding pattern...... Metaphor for my life really.
And to top off a wonderful day, DH has ended up having to pay four hundred, yes that's right folks, four hundred dollars on a hotel for tonight because his booking at the ibis got stuffed up. So he is in a suite at the Novotel! But to be honest, I do sort of feel like he deserves something nice, even if it is just for 8 hours...... Poor bugger. God I miss him so much already
Ok, I'm stopping typing now.
I like giantpenguin's idea of renting somewhere for your MIL, especially if work is going to take months. Maybe once she gets here and gets a bit settled you could suggest it to her?
We are poxy again. Thankfully managed to get an extension on assignment due tomorrow, but that just means next week is:
Monday - 4000 words due
Wednesday - 2000 words due
Friday - 4500 words due.
That sounds like a very sensible way forward.
Round here you can rent a cabin that is literally plonked outside your house - it goes for 50-80 pw depending on how big you want. People quite often use them when a relative is coming for an extended stay. Just a thought!
I'm glad you've got a bit more time frik. I'd be asking the agent some very searching questions about whether other prospective purchasers have done a building report. Agents lie. Don't take anything they say as truth without evidence.
Would you consider buying the house for the land and rebuilding? A new build takes about 4 months and you could get an awesome house.
I hear you on the 'being stuck with the IL's 24/7'. And mine only come for a fortnight! It does sound like your MIL might throw a spanner in the works though and change her plans.
Agent is bayleys, property only been on with them as sole agent so far as i know, swears blind no other buyer has done a report, or if there has been one, vendor hasn't told her about it. Who knows right?
Penguin, we are expecting the LIM report today, it will be interesting to see what the value on the land alone is, but we reckon its about 550. Then adding in bulldozing and a new build (architects, planning permission etc etc etc) we would be looking at another 300 to 400 thousand at least. We just can't afford that without being heavily riskily in debt.
Cabin idea is bloody genius! Unfortunately we have nowhere to put it at this rental, but it's an idea!
I think in the short term we will be in this house for sure through Christmas. After that....... Who knows!
We had a valuation done on a house which gave a land value and improvements value that was quite different to the council one. In Auckland you can look up the CV and info on the council website.
It seems like you are on a bit of a rollercoaster frik. It's one of those times when planning doesn't really work and you just have to go with the ride. (And vent to us!)
Hi all -been a while. Frik I feel your pain.
Thanks lolly <shoulder bump in solidarity>
Um, meant to press return and pressed post instead....
Was going to say, and yes penguin, roller coaster is about right. But a ton less fun.
Am starting to feel very panicky about MIL arriving. I don't know how I'm going to cope with no escape in my own home. Fuuuuuuuuuck. Please someone tell me it's going to be ok. I was thinking about posting a different thread out on the chat board or something, asking if anyone else has extended family living with them or anything, but then thought fuck it, I can't because or circumstances are so specific and everyone will just be like, but why does she have to live with you etc etc etc, when really I just want someone to say its going to be ok.
Oh for fuck sake. Now I'm irritating myself! I should immediately cease and desist with the hand wringing. For goodness sakes.
The idea of my parents or IL's moving in with us is a bit horrifying tbh.
Can you set something up for you to do on your own, preferably every day?
It is for a limited time at least. And you may need to be quite adaptive- don't lay down plans in stone so they can't be changed without upsetting MIL.
Is that the ONLY house in your area that can accommodate you all frick?
What about if you looked for a house with a bit more land and relocated a smaller house for mil?
I know you would have to sort out wiring/water etc but there as some great priced relocatable houses, might work out more affordable?
Also you could cabin her whilst things were getting plugged in?!
Sorry you're having such stress
I got great news today.
The maternal screening is back, 1:2600 chance of downs.
I know it's not concrete but it beats 1:5
Baby seems normal, but have been referred to genetics specialist anyway
Brilliant news AB. I'm so pleased for you. I was told the nasal bone was a very good sign too.
Brilliant AB. :-)
Sorry frik I wish I had some good advice. My in-laws have stayed for 6 wks at a time (and going off for little trips so not even with us all the time) and it has nearly driven me mad.
I agree with AB, is there anything else in your area that has a granny flat/separate living area etc?
Frik - I have no idea because I am crap DIL, I could not live with my PIL for more than 24 hours. I just could not do it, and I could not live with my own mother either.
So already I think you are a saint. (backrub)
Great news AB
Frik - I haven't really spoken about this on here, but when we go back home we're going to live next to my parents. Don't ever tell DH this but I think he's a saint for agreeing to it and my parents aren't
too difficult. But the only way it will work is with totally separate living space. My grandfather lived with us in a granny flat after my granny died. And again it was under condition of totally separate living space.
Is there any way your current place could be tweaked a bit to allow MIL even her own sitting room area that could be set up with a kettle and a small fridge at least so she could have space of her own. Might make life easier for everyone until you can get a proper set up?
Do you remember I applied for a job at the council ages ago? Well it came up again recently and I applied again. I just got a call from the careers people for a chat and he said mine would be one of the names going forward to the hiring manager on Monday
Trying not to think about it right now though while I concentrate on getting my assignments done
ooh goodie goodie (imagines vvviola deciding to stay here longterm)
Hey everyone, FILs memorial was yesterday, or last night, whichever way round it is, a friend videod DHs speech and sent it to me. I didn't know DH was even going to speak at all, so it was very emotional. And I'm sure it's not really appropriate, but I was so incredibly proud of him, he spoke so beautifully and eloquently, with such calm and poise. I was crying and smiling at the same time. I am so deeply lucky that he is my husband.
House situation is that vendors accepted extension on going unconditional to the end of November, agreed to negotiate down on price and I am meeting the builder for the first quotation at the house on Monday for a price on the rectification works. My lawyer has also drafted up a letter against the building inspection report stating all the items that would need addressing before the sale can take place, like getting all the retrospective council approvals for the building that aren't in place now etc etc. SO, we shall see how we get on!
In the meantime, I've told DH how worried and stressed I'm feeling about everything, and we have agred that when he gets back, we are going to rejig things in the house quite a bit, so will move DDs playroom upstairs, make it mils room and the adjacent dining room can be her lounge which we will fit out with tv etc etc. it's not exactly seperate from the rest of the house, but it has the kitchen between it and the other lounge, so it may work. But I can't move everything by myself so it will just have to wait until he is home. I think I mostly feel better because he didn't dismiss my concerns or anything.
Anyway, enough of my woes!
AB what lovely news! Yay you
And vvv, how awesome is that! But wait, what do you mean when you go back?!?! You are here for liiiiiiife, you are one of uuussssss noooowwwww <sorry that looks weirdly sibilant like I'm a militant snake. Not really what I was going for>
AB - great news.
Frik - You have had a few of life's major stresses thrown at you in a short time span. Hope it all comes together for you.
Past week has been a bit mad - work is frantic hence being up so early on a Saturday morning. It was my birthday this week which was a bit of a mixed event really. Missed my Nan terribly - miss calling her most days but that day especially. Yesterday would have been my Grandad's birthday (he died in Jan). However, my sister had a baby boy on the day before mine but with the time difference we now share a birthday (the same as ds1 and my Dad). They are still in hospital though as she had a c/s and the baby has a murmur/temp/few problems that will hopefully turn out to be minor.
We did manage our first paddle boarding night of the summer at Maraetai though - relaxing, beautiful and summer is on it's way (even if I ache so much now!) Mental note - need to get more fit.....
Have a party here tonight so am sooooooooooooo looking forward to tomorrow when I am going to do NOTHING.
Oohh sibble, I'm dead keen to try paddle boarding. It's a beautiful day here today, so I think DD and I will go biking :-)
DH and DD1 have gone fishing. Complete with a lovely pink fishing rod DH picked up for her in the Warehouse. I only wish I was there for entertainment purposes. The last time DD1 was anywhere near fishing (prawn fishing in Taupo) she freaked after they caught the first one. And I think other than that, the last time DH fished he wasn't much older than DD1
I'm taking bets on who will be grumpiest when they come back
we're still under quarantine here, I have to get my entertainment somewhere
We are just back from The Block open day viewings - was excellent fun, really well organised. Can't believe how hard the teams had to work, they were signing autographs and having photos the whole four hours!
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