I live in Hong Kong, have been here for my job for almost 4 years. My Mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 6 weeks ago (terminal diagnosis was instant, we had no idea she had it until then and she is only in her mid sixties). She has always been very happy about me living abroad and is not in any way pressurising me to come home, but I am at a loss about what to do.
Despite being on MN I don't have children so really my only responsibility here is my job. My work are broadly supportive but I can't just drop everything for however many months she may have left - we obviously don't really know how long that is anyway. In a way I'd rather spend time with her now before she really deteriorates, but of course it is also important to be there when the end comes. My brother lives close to her and is doing an amazing job at practical and emotional support, and keeping me updated, but it's not fair for him to shoulder it all. If I was in the UK I'd still be hundreds of miles away but I would be able to go up every weekend and judge for myself when was the right time to spend more time there. I've visited twice in the last 6 weeks and every time I leave I wonder if it will be the last time I ever see her.
Has anyone else been in a situation like this? What did you do?
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Living far away from ill parent
23 replies
JessieMcJessie · 28/05/2013 16:37
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