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I bloody hate you, you bastarding disease

(223 Posts)
McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 21:40:57

Fuck off, do you hear me? Now just fuck the fuck off angry

Yesterday, we said goodbye to my Uncle after a long fight with Cancer. My wonderful, brave Uncle sad

Our family friend is also terminally ill with bowel cancer. He had a rupture, and had to have his bowel removed via emergency surgery a few days ago. This is the one thing he never wanted to happen. All he wants is his dignity sad

Today, I find out that my Best friends MIL has also now been diagnosed as terminal. All she had was a sore hip. Her body is riddled. She's got two grandchildren she cares for due to family reasons. I feel sick to the stomach about what could happen to those wonderful boys sad

How many more? I'm so angry tonight!

expatinscotland Wed 10-Oct-12 21:42:43

My 9-year-old daughter. The light of our lives. She died from complications of treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, 7 months and 29 days after her diagnosis and 18 days after her 9th birthday.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Wed 10-Oct-12 21:45:21

I'm so sorry McPhee.xx

I lost both of my Grandmothers to cancer,and DH lost one of his too.

We have recently found out that FIL has stage3 bladder cancer, he had an OP 2 weeks ago and we are awaiting the prognosis and treatment plan.

I have been thinking of my friend who died 6 years ago from breast cancer. It would have been her silver wedding anniversary today.

Too many lovely people are affected by this vile, cruel disease.

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 21:46:05

Expat, I'm so sorry sad

There's no words for the loss of a child sad

Tuttutitlookslikerain Wed 10-Oct-12 21:46:11

Hugs to you, too Expat. Your family are never far from my thoughts.xxxx

SecretNutellaFix Wed 10-Oct-12 21:46:24

Cancer is a bastard.

It takes too many people.

domesticgodless Wed 10-Oct-12 21:47:57

I am so sorry for everyone's terrible losses. There are no words.

sittinginthesun Wed 10-Oct-12 21:48:34

Thinking of you, Expat.

My Dad. Four years ago this month. He was 62. sad

domesticgodless Wed 10-Oct-12 21:49:47

It does always seem to be the best people too, doesn't it? I am thinking of an uncle of mine who died 10 years ago at 45. The best father I have ever known. He didn't get to see his grandchildren and my aunt never married again as never found a man to match him.

Valpollicella Wed 10-Oct-12 21:50:23

Bastarding cancer

All my love to you all.

It swept through my beautiful healthy nanna. I weep everytime i think of what it did to her.

<links arms>

Cancer. Fuck OFF

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Wed 10-Oct-12 21:51:26

When my brother in law was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer (he lived 5 months after diagnosis) I realised why cancer is called 'malignancy'. Because it's an evil, consuming malignant presence that steals lives.

Expat - Aillidh is dearly remembered by so many on here. We will always remember your girl.

My Dad has just been told he has terminal cancer in his bowel, liver, and blood - it is fucking SHIT!
It sounds silly but our family doesn't get cancer, we die of heart attacks confused All these years (since he had the first one in his early 30s) we have waited for the Big One heart attack that would take him from us and now we find out it's not likely going to be that at all.
Too many people, too many times.
There aren't any words to properly express how we feel, but anyone who has or is in the process of losing someone knows sad

ToothbrushThief Wed 10-Oct-12 21:52:33

I hold you in my thoughts regularly expat.

Terrible loss and pain for all of you x

Littlefish Wed 10-Oct-12 21:52:59

My beautiful 19 year old cousin.

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 21:53:39

It scares the shit out of me, and I'm so sorry for everyone whose been hit by this cruel disease.

Too many people, precious people, are affected by it every single day. There's got to be a time soon when this is conquered surely?

Our family friend will probably not see Christmas. His first grandaughter is due to be born at the end of November. I pray he gets to meet her sad

i agree its a terrible illness
my mum had a massive operation for an oesophagus tumour,they took out the lower part and then moved her stomach into her chest .
it was awful.

LouMacca Wed 10-Oct-12 21:54:41

Our neighbours lovely and lively 7 year old daughter. She was diagnosed exactly 12 months ago today. She died in August sad It still feels surreal.

So sorry Expat It's heartbreaking sad

My dad. Nearly a year ago. Within 5 weeks of his diagnosis (a very rare tumour on the outside of his oesophagus and windpipe) He was 65.

Claire2009 Wed 10-Oct-12 21:55:46

My Mum, 16yrs ago on Sunday, non-hodgkins disease. I was 11, sister 13, brother 17 with sn.

My Dad has pancreatic cancer and is very bad.

Fuck off cancer. I miss my Mum

IamtheZombie Wed 10-Oct-12 21:57:41

MIL in April - seven weeks from diagnosis.

Godson in September - 5 and half months from diagnosis.

I'm 11 months post diagnosis and have another 9 months of active treatment ahead of me.

CelticPromise Wed 10-Oct-12 21:57:41

My mum has advanced bowel cancer. It's a brutal, degrading disease. It's taking away everything she enjoys. I hate it. I often find myself raging 'fuck off cancer!' at nobody.

My sympathy to everyone who has lost someone or experienced cancer. It's a bastard.

BlueSuedeWitchesHat Wed 10-Oct-12 21:59:04

My uncles lovely wife. 5 years fighting breast cancer and died last November at 36 leaving him heartbroken and their 2 DC 6 and 4.

Fuck you cancer, she was lovely.

Sorry foe all of your sad losses thanks

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 21:59:20

Reading all these is heartbreaking

I still miss my Nan. She died of breast cancer when I was 7. We've got her voice on cassette, but you can't play cassettes anymore sad. I'd love to hear her voice.

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 21:59:37

it's so hard and raw
affects so many of us
not right not fuckin fair

Thinking of you expat

My FIL died of pancreatic cancer.

And I lost my best friend last year to bowel cancer that had spread to her liver. Her youngest DS was 5 months old.

pointyfangs Wed 10-Oct-12 22:00:06

My former diving instructor (and very good friend) has prostate cancer. So has one of the founder members of our archery club, who is also a very good friend. It killed my great-aunt. My mum has survived skin cancer and is being monitored. Two days ago one of my colleagues and friends lost her DH to liver cancer - he was 63.

If anger could cure cancer, it would not exist any more.

WandaDoff Wed 10-Oct-12 22:00:19

My Dad in 2010 from lung cancer. He only lived for 10 days after diagnosis.

Expat - Saw the sampler picture on FB & her wonderful smile.

Fucking shitty bastard cancer angry
So many precious people lost.

It's the reason the DC have no paternal GPs. sad

Startailoforangeandgold Wed 10-Oct-12 22:02:12

DH's DF who also died of a lung infection awaiting a stem cell transplant.

Leaving two beautiful primary aged DCs without their father and one of the nicest ladies I know without her DH.

Fucking cancer. And I will never ever ever forgive you CS, even if she is still alive. She was 19 you bastard diseaseangry

Tuttutitlookslikerain Wed 10-Oct-12 22:02:45

My old boss's wife died of cancer at 33. She thought she had injured her knee ski-ing, but her kneecap was one big tumor. She fought so hard, it spread to her spine and her lungs. She was desperate to be a mum, but it never happened. sad

Trazzletoes Wed 10-Oct-12 22:04:33

Cancer is shit. Really really REALLY fucking shit. DMil 7 years ago, just after our engagement. I miss her every day.

DS was diagnosed last week. Desperately hoping he is one of the lucky ones, but already sick to the stomach at what his little body is having to endure less than a week in.


Everlong Wed 10-Oct-12 22:05:45

My poor mother aged 48 from stomach cancer ( peritonitis actually killed her ) my father aged 84.

My dear sister has been in remission from breast cancer for 14 years.

It is a truly vicious disease.

SecretNutellaFix Wed 10-Oct-12 22:05:51

My cousin aged 26, 16 years ago, Leukemia.

My Dad aged 58, 23 years later this year, Lung cancer.

Trazzletoes Wed 10-Oct-12 22:05:55

Expat I'm so so sorry.

pointyfangs Wed 10-Oct-12 22:06:51

Un-Mumsnetty ((hug)) to Trazzletoes. sad

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 22:09:35

Trazzletoes sad

FlibberdeGibbet Wed 10-Oct-12 22:10:33

Such sad, sad stories here.

My Dad - in his 90's, fought in a war now fighting cancer.

Bastard Shite Disease!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 10-Oct-12 22:21:43

My dad aged 67 then my mum aged 54. Never lived to see their grandchildren.

My lovely mother in law last month. Adored her grandchildren and they adored her. Now they haven't got her either.

Fuck you cancer. Fuck, fuck, fuck you.

BustyDeLaGhetto Wed 10-Oct-12 22:22:07

My DF has just finished months of horrible treatment for throat cancer which has whittled his joyful, gregarious personality to a shadow.

Expat - your daughter is the reason I signed up to the Anthony Nolan register. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Its a hideous disease which robs people of so much which they hold dear to them, my thoughts are with everyone on this thread.

Yama Wed 10-Oct-12 22:22:34

My lovely wee brother aged 32. He left a baby daughter. And all of us of course, who miss him every day. He had bowel cancer - truly awful.

Trazzletoes Wed 10-Oct-12 22:23:32

He's 3. 3. Years. Old. How the fuck is that fucking fair?

chickydoo Wed 10-Oct-12 22:27:47

2 grandparents lung cancer
Lovely lovely friend breast cancer
Ex BF throat cancer
Work colleague malignant melanoma.

For all the people we have lost

LatersBaby Wed 10-Oct-12 22:28:54

trazzletoes - im sorry, its so very unfair. love and strength to you, your family and your little boy.

CelticPromise Wed 10-Oct-12 22:30:18

There's no fair about it Trazzle. I saw your thread earlier in the week. Been thinking of you and your boy.

Valpollicella Wed 10-Oct-12 22:30:56

Trazzle I just saw your other thread. I want to give you and your boy massive hugs. I wish you both strength through this xx

Expat. I think of you a lot. You dont know me but i am on your ailidhs fb page so i see your updates there. Another person i wish i could hug. Your darling girl and you....brave isnt the word x

Valpollicella Wed 10-Oct-12 22:32:03

Trazzle I just saw your other thread. I want to give you and your boy massive hugs. I wish you both strength through this xx

Expat. I think of you a lot. You dont know me but i am on your ailidhs fb page so i see your updates there. Another person i wish i could hug. Your darling girl and you....brave isnt the word x

BustyDeLaGhetto Wed 10-Oct-12 22:32:04

Trazzletoes It isn't fucking fair. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling. Wishing you love and strength x

Tuttutitlookslikerain Wed 10-Oct-12 22:32:52

Trazzle it is not fair, not at all. It shouldn't happen to beautiful, little children. Please, please, please shout if there is anything we can do. Anything at allxxx

Rindercella Wed 10-Oct-12 22:38:54

I posted on a friend's FB earlier, when she said a friend of hers had just died from it that cancer is, a fucking bastard disease.

I lost my beautiful, wonderful, gorgeous DH to it 18 months ago this Saturday. It is shit. What happened to him was shocking and shit and painful and unbearable. Until you see it up close like that, you just don't 'get' what a bastard it is, do you? sad

I am so sorry for everyone's losses and Trazzle, I wish you much love and strength and hope your gorgeous DS comes through this.

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 22:47:27

Trazzle, no it's not fair at all.

Stay strong x

None of us deserve such heartache in life sad

bumblingbovine Wed 10-Oct-12 22:48:26

It is a terrible disease.

My family has been devastated by it:

Uncle 1 (Dad's brother) - brain tumour - died age 62 - 20 yrs ago
Grandad - prostate cancer - 16 years ago
Uncle 2 (mum's brother)- Stomach cancer died Age 60 - 15 years ago
Sister -liver cancer aged 32 (leaving 4 and 6 year old children) - 12 years ago
Cousin non-hodgkins lymphoma - died age 40 - 10years ago
My darling dad last summer - died aged 85 -brain tumour
Aunt (Dad's sister) - aged 70 Brain tumour - she is very close to the end now

It makes me more than scared (bloody terrified actually ) to think about it

Evil bastard cancer took my baby DD last August. She had no chance sad

Fuck off fucking cancer sad

RandallPinkFloyd Wed 10-Oct-12 22:55:10

Can't post properly now but wanted to add my own very big FUCK YOU to cancer.

I'm so sorry for all those affected by this hateful disease.

Trazzle I'm so so sorry about your boy. It's not fucking fair at all. Sending every positive thought I can to you xx

oxeye Wed 10-Oct-12 22:58:59

Whatever the weather sad

so so sorry

My BF aged 34 leaving 3 year old and baby son evil bastard cancer sad

McPhee Wed 10-Oct-12 23:00:29

I feel kind of bad now for starting this thread

So sorry to anyone affected by it tonight, but I just needed to rant sad

HuggleBuggleBear Wed 10-Oct-12 23:03:15

I fucking hate cancer

My mum is currently fighting cancer which has spread so no cure. Bastard cancer returned after 13 years cancer free.

My thoughts are with everyone affected by cancer.

colleysmill Wed 10-Oct-12 23:03:17

It is a bastard.

It took my mum 4 months after her diagnosis.

It took my friends niece 3 weeks after her diagnosis of leukaemia.. She was only 15 yrs old. At 15 I was thinking about my future, my dreams, my hopes and my life ahead of me - and hers went up in a puff of chemo sad

However my lovely lovely dad has survived aggressive cancer twice so here is my two fingers smile

scottishmummy Wed 10-Oct-12 23:03:35

in a way it's a recognition CA affects so many
the thread is recognition of that
it's unpleasant reading but not unpleasant thread.

HuggleBuggleBear Wed 10-Oct-12 23:05:46

But my FIL is fighting cancer and seems to be winning got told few months to live years ago. Fuck u cancer.

My DH will die in five months. We've decided to end the course of the treatment, and we decided today. We always knew there wasn't hope. At least I had him, and at least we have those five months together.

My sister. We were twins. She was my best friend ever and died when I was eight. I always blamed myself because I was older by an hour and felt responsible for her- because of the hour.

My grandfather. I will always remember the anniversaries of his death- I never met him, but no kid wants to see their mum and their grandma crying, and you being the only one to comfort them, because your sister's in a hospital and your fathers on the other side of the world. I guess I realised adults aren't so strong and brave when I saw them.

My great-aunt. We visited her every single weekend and I loved her so much. Bowel cancer- in a way it was better, because she had Alzheimers, and at least when she died she remembered us. She was the eldest of my great-aunts, the frailest, the closest and the kindest.

My nephew. You were five. You were so little and so loving and so bright. You could have been the next Einstein I sometimes thought- though that was pride in having such a wonderful nephew. You never, ever gave up and even when you were ill. You had a brain tumour, and when you lost your hair, bit by bit, you were still handsome and you looked even braver because you were our family's little soldier to share, and you reminded me so much of my sister when I looked at you.

I agree cancer is a c£&t! angry

My GFIL. Truly one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. Lung and throat cancer. Diagnosed as terminal with 5-6 months left after pneumonia that wouldn't shift but passed less than 4 weeks latersad it will be 4 years in February.

My mum is 12 years in remission from breast cancer.

Cancer needs to fuck right off.

Valpollicella Wed 10-Oct-12 23:11:22

Rindercella. I cant believe ot is 18 months. Remember your threads. I hope you and dc are as well as you can be xx

Valpollicella Wed 10-Oct-12 23:15:47

Oopsy..I m so sorry for you x

im so sorry for all that have posted here. All my love to you all xx

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Wed 10-Oct-12 23:18:49

Macphee - don't feel bad. There is a lot of value in common experience and in sharing how we feel.

Daisy - God bless you and your dh in the time you have together.

magnolia74 Wed 10-Oct-12 23:21:29

My amazing, wonderful and strong dad is terminal, we thought having his voice box removed would did but only for a while. Bastard fucking disease is back and not going anywhere this time sad

My aunt died 2 years ago ( dads sister) on his birthday

I don't really care about me but how is my mum going to cope with losing a man she has loved since she was 16 years old sad

This is the 21st fucking century, why can't we do more!!!

All of you that have lost someone, hugs to you all x

My lovely amazing grand f aged 62 - he would have adored seeing his g gc.
My beautiful and caring MIL aged 63.

It's evil and indiscriminate and it can fuck the bastard off.

Oopsy sad I'm so sorry sad

hugandroll Wed 10-Oct-12 23:24:27

My grandmother. I lived with her for a while and she is a second mum to me. She has recently been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer and can't even start chemo (which she has been told will only prolong her life) as she has a chest infection. I just hope she has long enough to see ds2 get christened next month and my mum and dad celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary next August.

foofooyeah Wed 10-Oct-12 23:24:58

What a sad thread.

I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer, an aunt to lung cancer, my Nan, a very good friend earlier this year to lung cancer, and my beautiful cousin aged only 5 to leaukemia.

Fuck off cancer on the pox ridden dragon you ride in on.

xMinerva Wed 10-Oct-12 23:25:32

My lovely step-dad. Died just over a year ago. It's his birthday soon. sad

captainaffray Wed 10-Oct-12 23:26:12

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer at the start of the year and after my second op i have just started a second course of chemo because it's trying to spread around my body through my lymph nodes.

My attitude has been to stuck two fingers up to it, bring on the treatment at every opportunity, do the research stuff and give it the biggest kicking I can and keep kicking it till it gives up.

Stay strong for your relatives, be positive and defiant.

My heartfelt sadness to all those who have lost their battle. It makes me so sad and tearey but increase my resolve to win.

Indiscriminate umm that's the word I was searching for.

Don't feel bad McPhee it actually felt kind of good to say fuck you cancer

My 16 yr old brother died from osteosarcoma-bone cancer nearly 6 years agosad
He would have been 22 this octobersad
Cancer is a bastard disease, i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

NewGirlInTown Wed 10-Oct-12 23:45:07

Lost both my parents to this awful awful disease.

Cancer can fuck off to the far side of fuck.. And you know the rest

Blessings to everyone on this thread, and if you can spare a couple of quid per month, there is no better charity than Cancer Research. They are the people who will win this fight for our children and their children.

It's all so sad. Love to all of you and I hope that we are close to finding a cure for this absolute bastard of a disease.

Sadly too late for my friends GF who had ALL and will not see the end of this year. She is 24.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 06:47:16

I couldn't stop thinking about everyone during the night

Much love to you all this morning x

Everlong Thu 11-Oct-12 06:49:08

You too McPhee thanks

And to all of you facing worrying times ahead.

elliepac Thu 11-Oct-12 07:10:05

My wonderful dad, to stomach cancer, at the age of 50, nearly 12 years ago. He beat a brain tumour, he then beat stomach cancer the first time round but then the bastarding disease came back and took him. He would have made the most amazing grandad and it breaks my heart that he never met my dc's.

My mum, bless her, coped amazingly well after losing the love of her life and met a fantastic man and re-married. He made her so happy and was a wonderful grandad to DS. 6 years in bastarding cancer took him as well, within 6 weeks of diagnosis. Telling DS was the most heartbreaking conversation I have ever had to have and it nearly broke my mum.sad

My sister, who beat cancer of the womb at 30, but had to have a full hysterectomy before her and Dbil had any children.

For all of you who have lost children (expat whatevertheweather and anyone else I have missed) I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through.sad

My mum sad who has intense chemo again today and bas been battling for 3 years. We know its terminal but appreciate every second you fight to stay with us.

My mum to kidney cancer - loved her grandson but never met her granddaughter (who may very well be her reincarnated)
Dad had throat cancer - survived but been ravaged by the treatment
FIL survivied bladder cancer - had to have bladder removed.
Uncle currently fighting pancreatic cancer - not looking good
Great Uncle died in the 60s from leukaemia

Bastard cancer!

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 11-Oct-12 07:22:35

I sang a few weeks ago at the funeral of a former choir member who died of leukaemia a few weeks short of his 58th birthday. One of his dds was heavily pregnant. sad

I have several friends fighting this shitty disease.

Much love to all of you who are grieving.

throckenholt Thu 11-Oct-12 07:52:24

My mum died of ovarian cancer in March. At least she was 70 so arguably she had had her life. So sad to read about all those young people. Cancer is awful, but somehow so much worse in the young. sad

EmBOOsa Thu 11-Oct-12 09:18:55

My nan.

And my mum, 2 weeks before DS was born.

Cancer is the vilest, cruelest thing. sad

It is hideous - I've lost both parents to this fucker, and several friends. One day we'll nail the bastard.

fledtoscotland Thu 11-Oct-12 09:22:06

My childhood best friend was diagnosed with bowel cancer a month ago. My step dad died aged 56 of pancreatic cancer - non smoker and limited alcohol. My next door neighbours daughter in her 40s has cancer spread throughout her body starting in her cervix.

Hugs and tissues to everyone on this thread. Cancer doesn't worry about age/class/gender

OhDeerHauntingFENTON Thu 11-Oct-12 09:22:30

I can't list them, it's too painful.

Fuck you cancer.

So sorry for everyone who has had to deal with this. thanks

ExasperatedSigh Thu 11-Oct-12 09:30:28

My darling brother, killed by a rare sarcoma after two years of agonising and degrading treatment. He was 34. He never got to meet my DC or have his own; my lovely SIL was a widow at 32.

I hate it.

Oh, and my little cousin who has had to have a full hysterectomy in her early twenties thanks to this bastard disease.

Solidarity hugs to you all.

libelulle Thu 11-Oct-12 09:33:09

My lovely mum. Finishing her first round of chemo this week for a relapse of acute myeloid leukaemia, after 6 months of gruelling treatment last year. Her only chance is a bone marrow transplant, and the odds are, frankly, fucking slim. She's 65 and is fantastic. I can't bear it.

Bunnygotwhacked Thu 11-Oct-12 09:36:48

dp's dad who died when dp was 18 barely 6 months after his mum had passed. dp will never learn to live with it. A little boy my youngest dc went to play group with not long had his 6th birthday he is terminal and facing the last few months. When I saw his mum she seemed so strong but she has been through hell these past 3 years fighting it. Fucking cancer

My beautiful mum in 2010 4 weeks to the day of diagnosis of lung cancer

My FIL in 2004 of bile duct cancer

Them my MIL died last year from dementia - my poor DS only has one GP now at the age of 10, I feel very cheated sad

Trazzle - I will say prayers for your brave beautiful boy and for you too.

ExPat I think of your gorgeous daughter everyday and she is the reason I am on the Bone Marrow Donor register now.

Whatever - so sorry for the loss of your precious baby - big hugs to you.

So sad for all of us - it' fucking shit shit shit!!!

BupcakesAndHaunting Thu 11-Oct-12 09:37:31

I am so sorry for everyone on this thread who has lost someone to this fucker of a disease thanks

My lovely aunt, only 44, has probablya week or so left. She is in a hospice because of a very aggressive brain tumour that has slowly and painfully deteriorated her to such a state that she doesn't even look like her anymore. It is awful and so, so wrong. She has two grown-up girls that she will never see get married or meet their babies. How is that fair? How can nothing be done?

There do seem to be glimmers of hope on the horizon though. I read in the Independent the other week that cancer deaths are predicted to fall by 45% by 2035, the biggest reduction in deaths is thought to be in ovarian cancer which would be amazing as it is such a difficult cancer. 45% would be wonderful. I really do think that we are getting ever closer to cures for cancer. Hopefully our children won't have to watch loved ones slowly picked off by it when they are adults. Thank you to the people working tirelessly to find cures and answers thanks

Oopsy - thinking of you and your DH too

twofalls Thu 11-Oct-12 09:41:15

Just took dd1 in to the hospice to see
my lovely mil. Heartbreaking.

And my friend who left her 2 girls earlier this year. And another friend who is having a bone marrow transplant for his leakeamia that has recurred. And my friend who has lost her mum, her step mum and her sister to this horrible disease. Dd1's teacher who lost her 18 month old to AML. And my own darling grandparents.

Much love and strength to you all.

It's heartbreaking, it really is.

NorthWhittering Thu 11-Oct-12 09:48:38

My beloved aunt. 25 fucking years after beating breast cancer it came back and spread all over her body.

Trazzle, Expat, Whatever so sorry for your losses thanks
Oopsy sorry to hear about your DH

Paternal grandmother (never met her) Liver cancer died aged 32
My Mum first breast cancer then adrenal cancer died aged 52
My stepmum - pancreatic cancer
and 10 months later
My Dad - bowel cancer

(My Dad and my stepmum were pensioners so it doesn't feel quite so bad because they were reaching the age where their health was likely to deteriorate)

Its sad how many people have lost loved ones too young.

AvonCallingBarksdale Thu 11-Oct-12 10:03:34

So sad for all on this thread. It is a bastard evil, vile fucking disease. My lovely FIL died last December, 3 weeks after second diagnosis of liver cancer. My dear friend's DS who is 5 and has now had cancer for over 2 years.

My gran had breast cancer twice in her forties, survived that, then just before her 78th birthday, died of a stroke. 24 years ago.

My step great aunt died from lung cancer, never smoked a day in her life, but was a district nurse, I was in my early teens.

A very dear friend, as a result of smoking, even though he hadn't for 30 odd years.

My dad 3 days after going into hospital, we found out what his cancer was when they did a postmortem. He died 3 months after my 2nd son was born, he met him once and got a smile, he was the only grandchild to do this and it made him happy, this is one positive memory I keep close to my heart. He had gastric cancer.

My heart goes out to ALL of you who have lost someone to this crap disease.

My Dad died in October 2005 by the way.

CelticPromise Thu 11-Oct-12 10:06:53

McPhee thanks for starting this thread. It's making me cry but also feel less alone. Whoever said you don't know how evil cancer is til you see it up close hit thenail onthe head. I had no idea how brutal it really was until it hit my mum. I just wish there was more they could do for her. She's spent her whole life caring for others and she's only 64.

Bupcakes your post is so hopeful. I hope you are right.

Fuck you cancer.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 10:11:00

I'm hoping if nothing else, that this thread be be cathartic for us all.

Shout, swear as much as you need to

For some of us, the outcomes can't be changed, but by fuck it doesn't mean we have to accept it!

So fuck you cancer!!


definatly, my mums is 44, shes lost her job,her independace, her house (had to move to bungalow), she cant get in and out of the bath without my help or put her socks on sad more chemo today, am so sad today sad

nipersvest Thu 11-Oct-12 10:19:10

i am scared for my stepdad. he has lost his mum, dad and sister to cancer, and his brother has now been diagnosed with it too. he is heartbroken at potentially loosing yet another family member.

It makes me sad that the side effects of the treatment for Cancer can be worse than the effects of the disease itself too.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 10:29:21

That's so true Sparkling. Our family friend isn't having any more treatment now because he's been so ill with it. He said that he would rather have quality time with his loved ones, even if that shortened the time he has left. That was such a hard decision, but for him, the right one. Now he's just receiving palative care sad

Chemotherapy just seems so harsh and makes people so poorly. sad

missnappyknickers Thu 11-Oct-12 10:40:13

Hugs to you all
My wonderful brave uncle died a year this month to cancer of the oesophagus 7 months after diagnosis boy did he fight he really didn't want to go..
Two aunts also died very quickly after diagnosis,one with ovarian cancer died 3 weeks after finding out,the other aunt had a very rare skin cancer inside the body and died within 2 months
An 8 year old schoolgirl at my daughters school died from a brain tumour within 8 months on xmas eve..heartbreaking
cancer is the fucking devil we are all in fear of it

Growlithe Thu 11-Oct-12 10:43:39

My DMIL got over lung cancer after extensive treatment over the Millennium period. She had radiotherapy which basically fried her whole chest area.

Ten years later, and unrelated, she got breast cancer. The previous treatment meant that radiotherapy was not an option this time, as she was told you couldn't have radiotherapy in the same place twice.

We went to a family open day at Clatterbridge, because she didn't want her GCs scared of that hospital. They showed us new radiotherapy machines that could accurately pinpoint the cancer and treat only that area, protecting the area around it. Such accuracy, if it was available when she had her first treatment, may have given her more options with the breast cancer, IYSWIM.

She had a mastectomy, but it came back after a year and she died 8 months after that.

What I'm saying is that, in those 10 years, the fight against cancer had advanced that much. This made her hugely optimistic, and if she could be, given her history, we should be too.

Please try to give what you can to support the scientists fighting it in the labs. Let's keep these advances coming, for the sake of those we've lost.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 10:47:05
thegreylady Thu 11-Oct-12 10:49:02

Its not fair at all. My mum my aunt and two cousins all died of cancers but yesterday
I was told that I was still clear six years after my dx with an aggressive form of breast cancer. There are new developments in treatment all the time and one day we should be able to kick cancer into touch.

I'm not sending Christmas cards this year so will be looking to make a donation to one of the Cancer charities instead.

nannyof3 Thu 11-Oct-12 10:50:39

My mummy aged 54 - lung cancer sad

Left 5 children and 2 grandchildren

Life just isn't the same anymore

Exactly sparkling Chemo is a poison and even though it kills cancer cells it causes problems in itselfsad

Soul destroying, all these children, friends & family dying from the bastard they call cancersad. I hope one day they can find a cure for all cancer and rid us all of this bastard.

Until then i shall be giving to clic sargent, tct & cancer research this Christmas.

Hugs to you all who are going through this with yourself, someone close or have already lost someone dear to you bear xxxx

IamtheZombie Thu 11-Oct-12 10:59:39

Chemotherapy is harsh. The drugs are cytotoxic - i.e. damaging to cells to the extent that the cells die. The drugs are most effective against cells that grow and divide rapidly which is why they target cancer cells. But they are also effective against all rapidly growing cells such as bone marrow and hair follicles. This is why chemo patients have compromised immune systems and lose their hair.

For me, it was the side effects of the anti-emetic drugs that were the most debilitating. They were 100% effective at preventing nausea and vomiting but they also shut down my digestive system for several days after each treatment. Then there is the fatigue. That is cumulative - it just gets worse and worse. Radiotherapy also contributed to that. As does the Herceptin I'm currently receiving.

I saw my GP yesterday as my bowel habits haven't returned to "normal" even though I completed the chemo 5 months ago. I thought it might be related to the Herceptin but my chemo nurse, clinical trial nurse and oncologist don't think it is. My GP and I discussed it at length. We both feel it may just be that my system hasn't yet completely settled down following the chemo. But, it may be something more sinister. So, I now have another referral under the 2 week rule for further investigation.

lynniep Thu 11-Oct-12 11:02:46

I lost my nan to bowel cancer when I was 10. She brought me up from 2 years old. Luckily my dad met someone lovely when I was 8 so I was already living with them when we lost her. He is gone now too, not from cancer from another nasty disease that ruined his life.

FolkGhoul Thu 11-Oct-12 11:09:18

My dad's dying of cancer as we speak.

We are trying to get him into a hospice but there are no beds.

So he's stuck in a side room on the elderly medicine ward where his needs aren't being met and that is completely unsuitable for his needs.

He is on about 15 separate drugs. The majority seem to be to counter each other's side effects!

legspinner Thu 11-Oct-12 11:12:06

We lost my wonderful uncle 4 months ago to a brain tumour (most of it removed around 20 years ago - it came back with a vengeance last year). Chemo and radiotherapy didn't even touch it and he didn't want any more treatment after that, like some friends and relatives of posters upthread.
My lovely aunt who nursed him through his last weeks went through treatment for breast cancer only a few years ago. It seems so unfair for their family.

Hugs to everyone on this thread who is dealing with cancer themselves or who has lost ones dear to them.

nemno Thu 11-Oct-12 11:12:12

My mum is having her 5th round of chemo today. She was told from the start that it is only palliative but on Tuesday we discovered it isn't working even for that. I can tell that is true. A few weeks left I guess. It's a rare lymphoma. Oh, fuck.

shanks313 Thu 11-Oct-12 11:15:16

My dear mum and best friend died 6 weeks ago from womb cancer that spread to the bowel and liver.
Im missing her so much right now and she never got to see my DD start school who she adored.
My friends DM died last week just 3 weeks after diagnosis,she had it in the liver,bone and lungs.
I hate it

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 11:16:33
vladthedisorganised Thu 11-Oct-12 11:18:15

My mum. Never smoked, healthy lifestyle, terminal lung cancer.

Can't describe how numb I feel.

Vlad - yep, my mum never smoked in her life and she had lung cancer!

Chemo finished my FIL off sadly. We knew the type of cancer he had (bile duct) didn't really respond to chemo but he was so desperate to live and to have a chance..the oncologist was very honest and told him she was worried it would kill him but it was a chance he took. He was only able to have one session of it, too ill for anymore after that.

My DS (10) says to me that he thinks he will die young of cancer, poor little soul sad

vladthedisorganised Thu 11-Oct-12 11:42:30

Awful, isn't it Betty? Awful whether or not smoking was involved, obviously, but the fact that originally all the medical professionals she saw said to her "well, we know it isn't lung cancer because you've never smoked.." sad.

Wish she wasn't suffering so. Finding it very hard to hold it together, she and DD are so close too and DD can't understand what's going on.

Rindercella Thu 11-Oct-12 11:43:07

The more I read of this thread, the more heartbroken I feel.

Bastard cancer is so indiscriminate. It has no respect for who it attacks, be they rich or poor, young or old, black or white. If it's going to get you, then it will.

I witnessed my beautiful, handsome, strong 6'2" husband go from someone with an incredibly strong, athletic body to a skeleton, having to be winched to be moved, unable to eat and having to endure unimaginable pain. Medicines were thrown at him left right and centre, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason to what was being prescribed; just blind panic as the cancer continued to spread. The bastard cancer may have destroyed his body, but it never destroyed his mind. He was clear and lucid until the end. Well, apart from when he tried to convince me that Gok Wan played for Manchester United!!

Val, who would have believed it is 18 months. I can't. Sometimes the loss hits me with such force, as if it was yesterday.

Zombie, lovely lady, I wish you well. I really hope the problems you are having now are a side effect of your treatment rather than anything more sinister.

oopsydaisy much love to you. I wish you and your DH peace and strength during the time you have left together.

McPhee, I know you started this thread in chat. It seems such a shame that this almost roll call of amazing people lost to this bastard disease will go poof in 90 days. Do you think it would be a good idea to have it moved to somewhere more permanent? No worries if you'd prefer it not to.

Fucking bastard cancer. We can and we will beat this. No-one deserves this much pain.

Rinders - wishing you lots of love too.

Vlad - yes it's heartbreaking. Like you say, cruel whether you smoke or not but just a bit of a shock. Before mum was ill I thought lung cancer was just for smokers......I now know it is one of the biggest cancer killer in women both smokers and non smokers. Wishing you and your mum strength and poor mum was so brave bless her heart sad

I think I preferred it when I was in my own ignorant happy little bubble!

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 11:54:11

I'm happy for it to be moved

If you can help make that happen, it would be good.

Dd a little time consuming today


Rindercella Thu 11-Oct-12 11:57:49

Thank you. I will ask MNHQ to move it. Does anyone have any preference where it goes?

What topic should it be moved to do you think? Not sure whether it fits in General Health for instance. Somebody looking for advice re Cancer may not want to be reading some of the experiences . I hope that doesn't sound awful.

Hippymama Thu 11-Oct-12 11:59:10

Bastarding horrible disease sad

We lost my darling grandad to stomach cancer 18 years ago and more recently my wonderfully funny uncle died from bowel cancer. Horrible, wicked disease sad

It is a terrible illness. Sorry for all who has lost loved ones to it.

Cancer is a dreadful illness. My mum has it, bone marrow cancer, she was diagnosed back in 1996, it is kept in check.

My friend just turned 40, mother of 3 sons, she has been battling cancer for a few years now. Started as breast cancer, she had a breast removed, went through chemo, lost her hair, felt dreadful. Then went into remission. It lasted less than a year. Cancer had spread to her skeleton. She was given 10 years max. Was told hormones and morphine was her best bet, as too advanced for chemo and radiotherapy, etc. She did not want that anyway, as it made her feel so sick. She said she knew she did not have long, but she wanted to have quality of life. Then was told it has spread to her liver, and was given months.

She promptly took her sons camping for "one last holiday with my boys", by tent to Sweden (they live in Norway). Her husband works off shore, so she is alone with them a lot. He will need to find a new job now. Everybody was amazed that she got to experience her 40th birthday a few weeks ago. She had a mahoosive party.

And in all this, I wonder, what do I get her for Christmas this year?? sad confused What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?

I felt that with MIL Quint. I found myself in M&S just sobbing trying to find her something for Christmas but knowing she wouldn't be able to appreciate it. It was surreal, and horrible.

EmBOOsa Thu 11-Oct-12 12:17:21

"What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?"

We ended up giving most of mum's Xmas presents to charity, they'd never been used sad

I got MIL a photo frame and put pictures of the DC in it. She had it next to her bed . When DFIL passed 5 years later I got the picture back. sad

sweetkitty Thu 11-Oct-12 12:23:28

I think of expats beautiful daughter every day and the other babies in that ward.

A mum at toddlers, she was 37, rare form of liver cancer, died leaving a 7 and 5 yo.

It's a fucking awful disease, sometime I think at least heart attacks are quick, it's the fight beforehand, the awful side effects from the drugs, false hopes, remissions only for the bastard to come back sad

ratbagcatbag Thu 11-Oct-12 12:25:22

Horrid horrid disease.

When I really think about who it's affected in my life I'm so sad.

A fantastic friend just before his 50th birthday who truly showed me what a father should act like. He went after being diagnosed 10months before and in that time raised thousands for charity.

Another dear friend who was in a wheelchair since his twenties, so ever had kids sort of adopted me a a granddaughter. Died last year just before his70th birthday.

And a dear work colleague who lost his 11year old after two years off battling, we still raise funds for the charity in his honour now. He woud have been 21 now. sad

Big hugs to everyone affected. I've been reading your thread trazzle and have prayed and lit a candle for you and your family.

minmooch Thu 11-Oct-12 12:28:13

My son - 16 years old and fighting an aggressive malignant brain tumour diagnosed 19 days before his 16 th birthday. He fights every single day for some semblance of normality.

My heart fills with pride as I watch his dignity, join in his sense of humour, but then it breaks when I witness his pain, sickness and how he deals with the physical disabilities it has left him with.

I would change places with him in a heartbeat if it would give him a chance of a life.

Fucking bastard fucking cancer.

ilovesprouts Thu 11-Oct-12 12:30:08

just lost my gawjuss friend to cancer 44 has 3dcs one with snsad

cappucinogirl4 Thu 11-Oct-12 12:32:27

My mum died form cervical cancer aged 37 in 1983.She left 4 children aged 6 to 12 years.
I miss her every day.
My heart is broken.
I have accepted it but it has affected my life in so many ways.

Life is so unfair

Rindercella Thu 11-Oct-12 12:41:33

"What do you want for Christmas when you know you are dying?".

I think I would care less about material things and would want to know that my children would be well cared for once I am gone. So lots of love, time and chat. Time spent sharing old memories. Perhaps you could do something with her to leave as a memory for her DC. Be her strength as she builds memories for them.

Iam best of luck
Rinders sorry to hear about your DH
minmooch all my best wishes to your son

I know it is very painful when you have lost family members to cancer and it can be worrying. I am screened annually for breast cancer because my mother developed it before the age of 40. There are lots of professionals you can talk to if you are worried about a family history of cancer. Screening doesn't suit everyone but it can help to talk to someone about the options, it may be useful if you are sitting at home worrying. I am both thankful and grief stricken that I am now older than my mother was when she first developed cancer.

Aww minmoo, i hope he gets through it and goes in to remission.
It amazes me the strength, courage & humour these young children with cancer have, i remember this all well when my 16yo late brother had cancer.
Everyday he was ready to fight another day, in so much pain yet so courageous & always cracking jokes.
People like him are an inspiration to me, even when he had to have a 3 quarter amputation of his arm, it never got him down. Shame having his arm taken away didn't stop it, it had already gone secondary shortly aftersad

So much courage, so much fight yet the fucking bastard one! It still makes me angry and i hate god for giving out this awful cancer, especially to childrensad

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Thu 11-Oct-12 12:49:36

Quint - for bil's last Christmas I bought him and sis a joint present. It was an antique brass candlestick - wee willie winkie style thing with a snuffer attached. He was really chuffed with it, loved anything like that and it's still in their home now. It broke my heart to buy it - I've never put so much thought in to anything. I thought of it as quite literally a light in the darkness.

Maybe I could invite her and her boys to London for a holiday?

Rindercella Thu 11-Oct-12 12:53:55

How's your sister doing NL? I often think about her as our husband's deaths were so close together. Hope you're well too smile

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Thu 11-Oct-12 12:59:28

She's doing well Rindercella thanks. She coped very well really, went away on a round the world trip last winter (avoiding being at home for their anniversary and Christmas) and now has a boyfriend smile I suspect there are wounds that won't ever heal but it is what it is.

How about you? I remember your beautiful man and your threads from that time so well. Looking back it's just a nightmare. I didn't realise how awful it was until I started to feel more normal again iyswim?

That sounds lovely or if there is somewhere she would particularly like to go with them perhaps perhaps organise a trip with her.

When my Dad was ill (but still reasonably well) I rented a cottage in the UK about halfway between us and him. He came on holiday with me, DH and the kids. We didn't do anything big just went for walks, fed ducks, ate ice cream etc. He died 3 months later. I am so glad that my children had that experience with him and we can get out the photos and say remember that day when we walked to the next village and Grandpa bought us all ice creams.

CalamityJones Thu 11-Oct-12 13:15:07

My mum, this January. Ten weeks after her diagnosis. She was only 65 and so beautiful, and she lost my dad only a year before she was told she was going to die. It would have been her birthday yesterday. I miss her.

Birthdays are hard (((hug)))

RinderThrillerNight Thu 11-Oct-12 13:36:37

I am so pleased she is doing okay NL. I think the wound stays for always, however well we live our lives going forwards. I am pretty sure that when I close my eyes at the end, it will be DH I see.

Quint, I think that sounds a lovely idea. Make sure you take lots of photos of your friend with her family and perhaps some videos so that their memories will be captured forever.

MNHQ have suggested the thread be moved to Life Limiting Illness. It seems to fit better than Bereavement or General Illness.

If it helps Quint this year we are focusing on the memory side of things. We're getting him the handprints of all the kids. Homemade cards. A scrapbook of art and memories. A mug which DD painted. We've decided on going to Cornwall, because that's where we met each other. If she wants a trip somewhere special, organised a trip with her and just enjoy each other.

Birthdays are hard Calamity. When it's my sister's birthday, it's mine too (we're twins) and I always feel odd knowing she should be celebrating too. Birthdays are harder than any other time because you have fantastic memories of giving them presents or seeing them, and other days just don't hold the same significance.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 14:22:29

That sounds like an ideal place MNHQ

Thank you thanks

KatMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 11-Oct-12 15:15:00


That sounds like an ideal place MNHQ

Thank you thanks

Hi OP, we've moved this thread into Life-Limiting Illness for you now. thanks

ratbagcatbag Thu 11-Oct-12 16:35:25

On the back of this thread and another one, I have just joined the AN register, I am just under the BMI limit, I was hoping as I'm pregnant I could donate the umbilical cord and placenta after birth but my hospital doesn't do it, even though it's less than five mins away from the uni that deals with cord. sad

twofalls Thu 11-Oct-12 17:54:21

Oh no ratbag, that is really bad. angryThank you for trying though and reading my thread.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 19:22:48

That's nuts ratbag

Every hospital should do it. Stemcells can do amazing things. But as twofalls said, you tried thanks

MsNobodyAgain Thu 11-Oct-12 19:44:03

I had twins.Then I was told they were both disabled, partially sighted and had severe learning difficulties. Then one was diagnosed with autism...and then he got leukaemia. It was like...WTF, are you kidding? How much do you want to throw at this poor boy?

But, after 3 years and 3 months of chemo, he is one of the lucky ones. He has survived. Fingers crossed he will now be cancer free.

He'll always be challenged, as will his twin, but he's here.

My heart aches for everyone who has lost a family member to cancer. I live in dread of him relapsing. Please God, don't let that happen.

Sorry for the emotion. I don't talk about it often.

I am so sorry for everyone who has lost someone to cancer.

lisad123 Thu 11-Oct-12 19:49:24

Dh was dx with cancer three and a half years ago, every day he takes his chemo. It's a horrible reminder that without it he would not be here at all and that one day we may lose him to this nasty disease sad

MsNobodyAgain Thu 11-Oct-12 19:51:20

Thank God for the blood donors.

lisad123 Thu 11-Oct-12 19:54:36

And bone marrow donors

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 20:03:03

I can't join the bone marrow register because I'm over 30 sad

lisad123 Thu 11-Oct-12 20:08:01

That's crazy, I'm now over 30 but joined few years back when dh was dx. We know he has no match and no sibling match either, when and if he needs a bmt we will be at mercy of a stranger who was kind enough to join, I couldn't let that happen without knowing I would do the same.

My lovely grandad died of lung cancer when I was very small.

In February this year my dad died 5 weeks after being diagnosed. The cancer was so widespread they couldn't decide where the primary was. Five weeks later I was diagnosed with breast cancer and still undergoing treatment.

Thinking of you all.

zombie don't like being intrusive but can I ask what sort of bowel problems you are having (pm me if you prefer) as I am suffering bowel problems as well post chemo.

toomuchpizza Thu 11-Oct-12 20:26:56

Our family friend, died last month after many years of multiple brain tumours. He suffered so much.

My neighbour, gone within 3 months of lung cancer diagnosis. We really miss him pottering around in the garden.

My friend's Dad, died of leukaemia 6 months after diagnosis when we were only 18. I worked at the hospital and spent a lot of time talking to him when he was ill. I will never forget him, he was such a lovely man.

My granny currently fighting breast cancer but doing really well.

My lovely Dad - has Myeloma and lymphoma but is currently in remission after chemo and stem cell transplant. Now we wait for it to come back, which it will - maybe next month, maybe in 10 years. The waiting is very strange.

Love to you all. This is such a moving thread but it feels good to honour those that we have lost.

expatinscotland Thu 11-Oct-12 20:45:07

Never knew my daughter's cancer was life-limiting. sad

IamtheZombie Thu 11-Oct-12 20:55:07

I'll PM you, gracie. I don't want to get too graphic on the thread.

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Thu 11-Oct-12 20:58:14

I think you faced hard things enough expat. I know that for some of the time A was ill you could at least live in hope that if she got a donor and if it worked it might save her. Perhaps that's crueller than what some others have faced though? I don't know. Perhaps it's not possible to know. Every burden is suffered and felt individually.

expatinscotland Thu 11-Oct-12 21:01:47

There's no qualifying it all, really.


expatinscotland Thu 11-Oct-12 21:02:15

Many who are terminal survive far longer than Aillidh.

ratbagcatbag Thu 11-Oct-12 21:17:53

I am still going to ask the midwife next week about placenta and cord to see if it can be used if anything at all, I certainly don't want it and it seems really daft to just throw it away if it can have its uses. sad

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 21:27:04

Expat, I'm really sorry if this thread, and moving this thread, has upset you. I don' think anyone really knew where to move it to sad

usualsuspect3 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:30:52

So sorry to hear all your sad stories, I lost my niece to cancer recently, It's a bastard disease.

DorsetKnob Thu 11-Oct-12 21:37:14

Friends DD is fighting AML at the moment, friends father is terminal, so a fairly crap time they are having.

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:48

DBIL's father had CLL for years, it wasn't that that killed him specifically but it weakened him so much that he just had no fight left.

Now his brother is fighting aggressive Throat cancer, he's 45 and has CP. He just finished his treatment. 3 months of both chemo and radio, the strongest they can give, it was his only option. He's now waiting for the results of a scan.

Their poor mother, my heart breaks for her. She lost her brother at 25, her daughters at 2 & 4 to a horrible accident, her husband 18 months ago and now she faces losing her son.

My friend last month, she was 31. She'd lived with HIV for 13 years then cervical cancer took her. (HIV makes you more vulnerable to certain cancers.)

How can life be so fucking cruel to good people.

My thoughts to all those fighting and those affected.

Fuck you cancer, just fuck you.

CelticPromise Thu 11-Oct-12 22:17:10

McPhee I joined the register last year aged 33. Not sure you have been given the right info.

McPhee Thu 11-Oct-12 22:20:20

I went on to the AN website and did the questionnaire. It was saying no to under 16s and over 30s sad

RandallPinkFloyd Thu 11-Oct-12 22:21:41

I joined AN a few months ago, I'm 33. Try them again, I think then age limit is 40 now.

expatinscotland Fri 12-Oct-12 02:40:19

The age limit is 40. I am nearly 42, so don't qualify, but my DH just got his donor card today and he is 34.

Try again or contact them free via the net. smile

cynister Fri 12-Oct-12 02:46:16

My father, 11 years ago of multiple myeloma. He was the best man I have ever known. I will miss him every day of my life..

McPhee Fri 12-Oct-12 09:12:59

I'll send an email.

I did it again this morning and it's still saying no because of my age

I don't understand confused

McPhee Fri 12-Oct-12 09:16:37
hugandroll Fri 12-Oct-12 10:49:37

Just joined the register.

JustinBoobie Fri 12-Oct-12 11:32:34

lost both of my nannas; it completely ruined them both sad it took them so slowly...

it took my mil, who I was closer too than my own dm... We stayed with her at home until she took her last breath - 3 months after diagnosis.

Some of my best friends have lost parents and have parents still fighting and one who's been in remission for 8 years. Just so many... My friends little girl, is fighting too - she is so brave. They are all so brave.

Fucking Bastard cancer.

Love to everyone on this thread. Love and strength.

libelulle Fri 12-Oct-12 14:49:38

McPhee, you don't have to sign up with Anthony Nolan - these guys accept donors until aged 49 -

It'll work just as well in terms of reaching those who need it I think - my mum's been told they actually do a worldwide search for suitable matches.

I find the AN policy just bizarre. They actually state that there's no reason to go with under 30s except that you are statistically more likely to be in poorer health over 30 - so why not just exclude those in poor health! 30 seems amazingly young as an exclusion point.

McPhee Fri 12-Oct-12 16:12:51

Thank you for that.

Sadly I won't be able to do that either for a while as I've not long ago had a baby.

But once Dd is old enough, I'll make it a top priority!

McPhee Fri 12-Oct-12 16:17:56

I've just registered

It just means it'll be a few months until I can actually do it

But...tiz done!

twofalls Fri 12-Oct-12 22:34:38

Good for you McPhee.

CelticPromise Tue 16-Oct-12 21:16:53

We have learned today that there is nothing more to be done for my lovely mum and she has months.

Bastard evil disease.

TessCorpseDissect Tue 16-Oct-12 21:30:27

I lost my nan to bowel cancer.

I lost my dad to lung cancer.

I lost two of my dearest friends to breast cancer.

My close friend lost her niece to bone cancer after battling the disease for 10 years. She was only 21 when she died.

A friend from work lost his wife to breast cancer. They had been married a year and had a tiny baby.

Another work colleague is currently battling bowel cancer - he is only 28.

DS's girlfriend was only 16 when she lost her mum to breast cancer.

I cannot find the words to say how much I hate this evil disease.

My love to everybody on this thread who has experienced so much heartache. x

Trazzletoes Tue 16-Oct-12 21:50:45

Celtic oh god I'm so sorry to hear that. <hugs>

CelticPromise Tue 16-Oct-12 22:08:21

Thankyou Trazzle. You're so kind to say that when you're going through such a shitty time yourself.

CelticPromise Tue 16-Oct-12 22:09:10


CelticPromise Tue 16-Oct-12 22:09:39

I meant thanks

I can't read the rest of this thread sad but wanted to add my own FUCK OFF YOU BASTARD, BASTARD DISEASE

I just cannot believe we still have something so cruel, horrific and utterly wicked in our shiny modern lives. And as for what it does to children angry angry angry angry angry angry angry well it can just fucking fuck off and burn, slowly and painfully in a specially fiery and awful hell of its very own for all eternity for what it does to children sad

Trazzletoes Tue 16-Oct-12 22:37:13

Celtic don't be so silly. Just because I'm having a shit time doesn't make your news any less hideously shittily awful.

I'm so sorry x

CelticPromise Tue 16-Oct-12 23:01:56

You're right of course. Plenty enough shit to go around! Thankyou for your thoughts. Think of your DS every day, mine is the same age x

Popumpkin Thu 18-Oct-12 20:33:50

I lost my grandma to breast cancer 21 years ago (her twin sister died of cervical cancer at the age of 41).

I lost my dad to prostate cancer 9 years ago.

I lost my mum to bowel cancer 3 weeks ago.

One of my best friends is going through intense and very nasty chemotherapy for non-hodgkins lymphoma.

My deepest sympathies to ExPat and anyone else who has lost a child to the bastard that is cancer, that remains (and always will remain) my single greatest fear in life sad.

CelticPromise Sun 21-Oct-12 23:50:10

PoPumpkin I'm so sorry. How are you doing? My amazing mum died on Thursday, also of bowel cancer. It turned out she only had days, not months.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Popumpkin Mon 22-Oct-12 00:11:24

Hi Celtic. We had the same, mum had was admitted to hospital with a pain in her abdomen & a CT scan showed that the cancer had spread to her liver & would be inoperable. We thought she had months left & were distraught enough at that. She was looking forward to just coming home & enjoying whatever time she had left as much as possible. However, she never left the ward. She developed a chest infection which very quickly became pneumonia & passed away just days later.

It was a huge shock but I suppose we should be glad for her that she didn't have the months of agony & illness that our dear dad had at the end of his life. Still heartbroken though nonetheless sad.

Popumpkin Mon 22-Oct-12 00:12:05

not sure where the "had" in the 1st sentence comes from confused.

CelticPromise Mon 22-Oct-12 00:22:36

Oh Pumpkin. My heart goes out to you having lost your dad too.

My mum didn't tell us she was dying, just my dad and her sister. she wanted life to go on. I knew it was coming but I thought we had longer.

Would you mind if I PM you sometime? It feels too raw and personal to discuss on a public board.

Trazzletoes Mon 22-Oct-12 05:59:35

Oh celtic <hugs>, <hugs> and more <hugs>

CelticPromise Mon 22-Oct-12 08:20:01

Thankyou Trazzle.

Popumpkin Mon 22-Oct-12 12:59:52

Yes of course you can Celtic. Your mum sounds like a very brave lady sad.

rainbowsprite1 Mon 22-Oct-12 22:51:13

I couldnt read the whole thread but my dad has just been diagnosed & things don't look great sad

McPhee Tue 23-Oct-12 07:14:58

My Best friend in the whole world lost her MIL last Tuesday

It's been a very tough week. My godaughter, 9, isn't coping with losing granny sad

Continued love to you all x

TheGrumpalo Tue 23-Oct-12 07:40:26

I feel exactly the same.

My Grandad - Died from lung cancer after chemo & radiotherapy that took away any kind of life that he had. It was heartbreaking, he was such a big strong man.

My Uncle - A bowel cancer survivor but who was really put through the mill by it, he is still affected but so grateful to have survived and has been given the all clear.

My Gran - Died from cancer and c-difficile. Taken far too soon.

My Auntie - Currently very near the end with cancer, may not even get to live to see her new grandchild due in a couple of weeks.

My sister - She has had malignant melanomas cut out and is only young.

So for all of my family I would like to say fuck off cancer, we've had enough!

My thoughts are with each and every one of you who have lost someone to cancer or who are going through it at the moment.

McPhee Tue 13-Nov-12 21:29:01

Our dear family friend has been taken in to the hospice tonight

We fear he is nearing the end now sad

His first grandaughter was born on Saturday, and is going to meet him tomorrow. I hope it won't be too late

Such a brave and dignified man sad

Toddy Tue 04-Dec-12 08:53:52

we have just been told SIL has less than 3 months. She won't reach her 32nd birthday.

McPhee Tue 04-Dec-12 19:36:52

Oh Toddy, I've just seen this sad How are you coping?

I am where you are nephews other grandad has been given two weeks. He won't see Christmas

I'm here if you want to talk x

Toddy Thu 06-Dec-12 09:17:56

Thnq. we are coping by crying lots at all sorts of things. we are planning to visit over the holidays. don't want the kids to sense what is happening. they already know she is terminal. we are just holding together and making our moments count.

missing my mum so much, 7 weeks without her and it just gets harder. hate this disease and all it brings with it

Reaa Sun 06-Jan-13 21:54:10

Just sending hugs as I did not want to read and run x

McPhee Sun 06-Jan-13 21:57:55

Reaa, hugs fir everyone affected by this bastard disease are always welcome.

My nephews grandad lost his battle just before Christmas, and was laid to rest on Christmas eve. He was sent on his next journey with a Christmas stocking, and inside was a personal memory from each of his closest friends/family.

the stocking thing is lovely idea. so fed up tonight and the cancer ad comin on all time isn't helping much as I'm glad research happens I hate the ad.

RachelHRD Sun 06-Jan-13 23:20:55

Thinking of you all xx

Lost my dear Mum 19 years ago from lung cancer, 4 months from diagnosis until she died aged 57 - love and miss her every day

My Dad, from Alzheimer's and cancer 5 years ago - a cruel end for such a dignified man sad

My school friend aged 13 from leukemia, 30 years ago - her brother hasn't been the same since they lost her sad

and many more family friends and relatives lost to, or still battling this vile bastard of a disease sad

lonelydaddy Sat 09-Feb-13 00:21:54

I just lost my wife to this horrible disease, leaving behind three children under the age of five. I am raising money to Cancer Research to help rid the world of this horrible didease:

HepzibahFlurge Thu 28-Mar-13 16:25:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HepzibahFlurge Thu 28-Mar-13 16:27:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

can6342 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:57:08

Missing my mum loads today. She died of a rare malignant brain tumour, diagnosed at 50. I hate the way she never got to meet my son. She was such a natural at being a mum and would have been the best grandma ever.

I'm really sad today as we lost the only member of my dad's family that speaks to us.
Dad died of cancer 10 years ago. His brothers and sisters just kind of forgot about us, left us out after he was gone. My lovely uncle was the only one who would remember, involve us.
We lost mum to cancer 2 years ago too. I feel like there is no-one really left who knows me.
My grandad is a wonderful man but very elderly and can't remember much.
My sister is much younger than me so no-one remembers my childhood except me.
That shitty disease has taken every member of my family. They say we are just unlucky and they can't find a genetic link. Have to say it isn't much comfort. I feel like I'm just waiting for my turn.
My uncle was a kind, funny and gentle man. I am going to miss him so much. sad

honey86 Mon 15-Jul-13 17:43:10

lonelydaddy im sorry u lost your wifesad i was in a similar situation 4 years ago, i lost my partner, he left behind 3 kids under 5 too, although it wasnt to cancer, but to heart failure.

thanks to those who are experiencing this one way or another... i got a phone call today from my mum, my grandad has got shadows growing on his lungs and theyre suspecting lung cancer sad sadly hes the last one in his family living, as the majority of them have been claimed by cancer. he recently lost his brother to it too. my beloved grandma has terminal cancer too, in her bowels, but they wont treat her as shes very old and weak itll cause too much suffering to go on.sad we lost mil (my late dp's mum) to cancer too, she fought breast cancer, went into remission then was struck by bone cancer which spread to her liver.

seems like the evil disease is insistent on killing off my family sad its quite frightening actually x

Secretswitch Mon 15-Jul-13 17:53:57

My beloved father eleven (how can he be gone so long?) years ago from leukemia..
My darling MIL battling her second go round with breast cancer
My best friend's mother died a year ago from lung cancer..months after diagnosis..
My love and prayers to all who have been affected by this fucking disease..

supafish Mon 05-Aug-13 22:24:45

I work on a oncology unit.i am constantly amazed by the wonderful people I treat and nurse . I so wish that a cure is found and I have to work in another branch of nursing . My love and prayers go to each and every person who has been affected by this dreadful disease xxxxx

Icantstopeatinglol Tue 06-Aug-13 23:32:40

My best friends dh has cancer and I'm at a total loss as to how to support her. I feel so sad for them so I can't even begin to imagine how they're feeling. He's only 35, he has his whole life ahead of him and is such a lovely person, it's so cruel.
I hate this disease! There's no point in it! It just causes suffering and sadness sad

Phoebe47 Sat 21-Sep-13 11:22:03

Flibber - same situation with my Grandad - fought in the war and his health was ruined. Died in his 70's of cancer. We should be poring money into research to find a cure. Our govt. wastes huge sums of money every day when it could be used usefully to fund more research. Makes me so angry.

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