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Children helping?

(13 Posts)
Weegiemum Sun 17-Nov-13 08:38:51

I have a major neurological illness, means I've no feeling in my arms and legs, my balance is awful.

Until last night I was coping ok. This weekend dh (a GP) had done his on-call ok. But though I was great with him being away Fri-Sat-Sun, now I'm on Sunday morning and I can't climb the stairs.

So I need to wash my skanky hair!

I've 3 dc (who all know about my illness) but right now dd2 (almost 10, my youngest dc) is the only one up. Dh is away on call.

Am I nuts to ask my dd2 to help me wash my hair?

I'd have to ask her to get me a towel and shampoo.

I'm so focused on not making them my carers.

But maybe I have to.

sad

Weegiemum Sun 17-Nov-13 08:47:05

Please?

todaysdate Sun 17-Nov-13 08:51:45

Yes, ask her.
I'm sure she will help and I'm sure you will thank her.
It won't but that big a deal.

I understand what you are saying- it's like you are crossing a line but for today, well, it not a big thing for her to do and it won't take long.

Sorry you have to even contemplate how it all works

lookatmycameltoe Sun 17-Nov-13 08:51:48

Of course! Children aren't little princes/princesses that can't be asked to help out in family life.
The line is drawn at the care they provide interfering with their normal development/childhood.

Get your hair washed! I'm sorry things are difficult for you.

ilovemountains Sun 17-Nov-13 08:52:13

I'd leave your hair until your DH is back. I'd only ask your children to help if it was important , I don't think washing your hair falls into that category I'm afraid.

Frontdoorstep Sun 17-Nov-13 20:50:23

Hi weegiemum , I see you posted this morning and it is night now but hopefully you got sorted out.

The reason for my reply is that I also suffer from a neurological condition and like you my balance is appalling.

I tend not to ask the children to help, nothing major anyway. I can use my arms though, I can't walk very well. I would ask someone to pass me something but that's about it.

Do yo think the children would be happy to help? If they are I don't see a problem, could you make the hair washing into a fun job.

Anyway I hope you got sorted, it's just when you mentioned balance, it struck such a cord with me

CMOTDibbler Sun 17-Nov-13 20:53:51

I'd ask them to help. My 7 year old cuts my food up when we're out and likes helping mummy do things

Weegiemum Mon 18-Nov-13 00:15:07

In the end dd2 brought me shampoo and a towel, and i washed my hair myself in the downstairs loo sink.

Dd1 dried it for me, but if a total stranger walked in she'd dry their hair, she loves doing it - she also painted my toenails gold this afternoon! And hers. And gave herself and dd2 henna tattoos.

Frontdoorstep - sorry to hear your also not great balance wise. If you don't mind me asking, what's your condition? I have CIDP (Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyradiculoneuropathy) - also called Chronic Guillan Barre Syndrome.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Mon 18-Nov-13 00:41:07

Weegie sad I wish things were different for you x

Frankly - I'd ask them to go and get the shampoo & towel from sheer laziness, so asking for 'a good reason' seems perfectly fine to me grin

I do understand that you don't want to make them 'carers' but I think you are going too far in the other direction if you had to think about whether it was OK or not to ask your DD to help you. Families help each other do stuff all the time... all families, all the time x

Frontdoorstep Mon 18-Nov-13 14:29:00

Weegiemum, sounds like you had a good outcome and that everything worked out well in the end.

I have ms, balance is my worst problem, although my walking is also very poor, I get around the house and at my work ok ish , I have good days and better days and from what you said I suspect you do too.

I'm home from work now, and I think today is going to be one of my not too bad days, hope you are having a better day too.

Weegiemum Mon 18-Nov-13 17:32:07

Front door, hope you had a good day after all.

My condition is sometimes also called "peripheral ms". I've got the demyelination, but in my peripheral nerves not my cns. The dizziness/balance is awful, but today my consultant told me I'm allowed to start learning to drive!

Frontdoorstep Mon 18-Nov-13 19:21:33

Weegiemum, what you have sounds quite like my ms tbh, although I wasn't aware that what you had was also called peripheral ms.

Must admit I don't have dizziness, but yes the balance is awful. I am always sitting down cos then I don't notice my poor balance. I am an expert at doing all kinds of jobs sitting down.

Good luck with learning to drive, must admit that driving makes a huge difference to me, but I could drive before my diagnosis and after diagnosis I was still allowed to drive.

PuntCuffin Mon 18-Nov-13 19:29:49

I know I am late to this, and the immediate problem is sorted for this occasion. I just wanted to add that I am always asking DS (8), to run little errands like getting towels or toothbrushes from upstairs, either for me out of idleness blush or for his disabled grandmother who lives with us and struggles with stairs and walking in general. I totally get what you mean about not wanting them to be your carers, but kids also need to learn to do helpful tasks around the house.

Hope this is a temporary blip and you're better today.

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