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Are we in the last few weeks?

(84 Posts)
mummynumnum Sat 08-Sep-12 22:42:25

My beloved mil has secondary breast cancer in stomach. Palliative care since two diff types of chemo nearly killed her. Several stays in hospice. Has had stents but bile duct one blocked and attempt to put new one through failed although put one in side. Chose not to have ct scan recently but surgeon implied things have spread. Was stage 4 when diagnosed and has done well to last 2 yrs. Since the last stent surgery she has been in hospice and again nearly died but rallied and came out and was living with us. However, she is now hardly eating, is about 6 stone, has nausea and weakness and has white poo and in pain when on toilet. Are we nearing end? She is buring head in sand and missing appts. Keeps saying she will phone hospice and talk to them but doesn't. Really worried. Should I phone them?

ajandjjmum Fri 23-Nov-12 16:18:14

Sorry for your loss.

mrssmooth Sat 24-Nov-12 17:18:35

sad thanks

echt Mon 26-Nov-12 07:13:45

Ah, I saw this at the top of the forum, and wondered how your dear MIL was getting on.

Sad for you and your family; her release is still your loss.

sad

mummynumnum Mon 26-Nov-12 22:09:53

Thanks for all the kind messages. It is a huge loss and one that in the mayhem of sorting funerals/financial matters out etc has not q hit us fully yetsad a dreadful loss for us all. Such a brave, lovely lady!

PortoDude Mon 26-Nov-12 22:27:40

(((hugs)))) to you and your DH. Hope you can get through the bureaucracy quickly and have some time to grieve.

mummynumnum Sun 09-Dec-12 20:06:44

We had dear mil funeral service friday. A lovely send off for a lovely lady. Has been so crazy till then-work/paperwork/funeral planning. Since the funeral though not been able to stop thinking of her and so many things are reminding me of her. sad. My dd is beginning to really miss her. Wish it wasn't realsad

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Mon 10-Dec-12 18:42:30

Oh my love, it hurts so very much doesn't it sad

You just want them back - so so much.

It is horribly hard anytime of the year - but around Christmas it just seems that bit harder, everyone else is cheerful and planning Christmas and, if you are anything like me, you just can't face it and feel a bit 'how can they go on as though nothing has happened???' <which of course for strangers - even friends - it hasn't>.

I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel a bit better - but sadly I know from bitter experience there really isn't.

I know some people think it's 'trite/crap/pathetic' but I actually find that this little saying does help a bit 'It isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'. It sort of reminds me to try to find the good in the day and allow myself to enjoy little things without feeling like I have to 'be over it' or guilty that I've enjoyed a little bit of the day.

I'm sitting here crying - for you, for your DH, for your kids and for me and mine. It's just so crap isn't it sad
xxx

echt Sat 29-Dec-12 05:39:00

Just wanted to post to see how you are, mummynumnum. In all the fall-out of emotions and gathering of a lifetime at the death of your dear MIL, I hope you found some time for joy at Christmas.

mummynumnum Sun 30-Dec-12 20:27:28

Hi. Thanks for asking after us. Made most of christmas and enjoyed it. We are doing ok. Dd is coping well. Ds thinks nanny a hospital still. Does not really understand what we are saying re nanny dying and being an angel now. I have gone from being almost on a manic high the first few weeks, to a bit emotional, to now when
I just think about her alot. Even listened to an old voice message I found of hers today. Her dd are more expressive about feelings than my dh. He is saying not even thinking about it much, but he looks shattered and has been getting few infections where I think he is run down. In spite of everything though we did a good job at Xmas and kids loved it. Mil ashes were even under the treewink

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