Mumsnet Talk

Never imagined starting a thread on this board but i'm feeling really weird and scared. Found out yesterday that my Dad, after weeks of persistent headaches and erratic behaviour, has had a brain scan which showed some dark spots. He’s been told its secondary cancer and that he likely has advanced lung or stomach cancer…. He’s having another scan this afteroon which should be able to show whats going on…

We’re all in shock… Preliminary googling has been too scary but desperately need to hear if anyone else has gone through anything like this. I can’t help but think this is really really bad news. His mum died of lung cancer in her late 60s, he’s 63 and used to smoke heavily but not for 6 years.

I feel so strange, I can’t concentrate on work…

Sorry, I have no experience of this, but didn't want to read & run.
I guess at the moment you are still struggling to take it in, and your head is full of questions.
After this afternoons scan results you'll have a better idea of prognosis and treatment plans.
As I say, I know nothing about this, but I'm sorry you and family have had such bad news.

I'd ask work if you can have some compassionate leave - you won't be able to concentrate on work today.

Don't Google - if you can go to your Dads appointments, then ask those questions of his doctors. Obviously secondary cancers is never good news, but what it means depends on so many things, the combination of which is unique to your dad, that Googling is very unhelpful

Hi thanks so much for the replies. Think I just needed a hand to hold. I was needed in work today although haven’t really been here if you know what I mean.
Feel bad/guilty as have been growing apart from my dad for years and don’t see or speak to him regularly(although accept this is a two way thing and he has also been guilty of it!) so don’t feel like I can barge in and attend appointments with him now. His wife is there with him so he’s not alone.
Just feel very helpless.