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How/where to find a private (non agency) carer for my grandma?

(52 Posts)
Havingkittens Wed 04-Jul-12 12:14:52

Hi, I don't know if anyone can offer any ideas. My grandma is 92 and has quite advanced vascular dementia as well as walking difficulties and other health issues. She lives in a granny flat on my auntie's house and my auntie is currently her full time carer with the help of a few agency carers who come for a couple of hours here and there. Her situation has got a lot worse over the past few months and she needs a lot more specialist help, so we are trying to find someone to come for 2-3 days a week now. The agency carers are very expensive so we wanted to see if we can find private carers, but we are at a bit of a loss how to go about this. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be really grateful! None of us quite ready for the nursing home option yet.

I thought about advertising on Gumtree for example but obviously need someone CRB checked with insurance etc.

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 15-Dec-14 19:01:04

Hi there,

This is, essentially, a zombie thread which keeps being revived by folk spamming their services. It's not what our main Talk boards are for, so we're going to close the thread now.

Thanks to everyone who helped the OP (two years ago!) flowers

myself11 Mon 15-Dec-14 13:24:06

Try - a friend of mine has used it to find senior care for his dad and it has worked out really well for him

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mrich Fri 07-Nov-14 09:40:21

Hi. I am looking for a carer for my husband in the Bromley area. I hour in the mornings to shower and dress him. Must live in Bromley. References required.

Holldstock1 Fri 19-Sep-14 18:35:40

Hi I realise that this thread began quite a long time ago but I think its too important not to respond. There are alot of people in this situation.

I have been both a full time 24 hour a day carer at home (I gave up my job with elderly people) looking after my elderly mother who was ill with a number of conditions& Vascular Dementia & Altzshiemers (exc sp). I am also now an agency carer looking after dementia patients in their own home.

As a family caring for a dementia patient, it is a hard, stressful 24 hr 365 day a yr job. There is no real let up because you have the ultimate responsibility & may have children as well like me. My suggestion is this, if you think having your loved one at home is right for them (my Mum wasnt confident in large grps), then get as much help as you can. I had regular vol visitors from my village good neighbour grp who came 2x week most weeks. I also had a charity HuntsBlind Soc visitor once a month & I had a carer who came 1x day M -F (event 4x every day when she became terminal) & a sitter certain afternoons so I could pick my children up from school.

When it was poss & before she became terminal I tried to ensure I had a carer or a volunteer sitter so I could have a lie in or an eve with the family every couple of months. We also put my Mum into respite for a week once & for a day twice over the years she was with us. There are some agencies who specialise with carers who stay 24 hrs for a week or 2 so you can go on holiday. Do not refuse any help you get offered. If friends or family might be happy to give you an eve or afternoon let themhelp as its emotionally & physically draining. But I seriously suggest you also have a reliable & reputable care agency. This is not because private carers arent good, but because an agency means there is a pool of trained people who you can rely on. Paid Carers also have breaks, holidays, appts, reg checked by CQC. Our care agency, who were so good I now work for them, are small, have 2-3 carers per patient (so the person gets used to several familiar faces - imp for dementia) & only do 30 mins- 1 hr slots so patients not rushed. Check to see if your parent might be eligible for Age Uk visitor or a vol visitor froma charity dealing with a particilar condition they have - deaf, blind etc. Also your local village, church or parish may have a similiar scheme to our Good Neighbours. Plus there may be county charities helping elderly people with schemes other than just Age Uk. When your loved one becomes terminal there is something called Continous Care (or there was last yr when my Mum was dying) organised by the District Nurse, where they pay for the care till your loved one dies. But be aware at end of day if they are at home the buck stops with you. So ask yourself what is best for your loved one : at home like my Mum or are they sociable and would benefit from being in a nursing home with other people. Its a very hard choice. I knew what alot of the local homes were like from my prev job & that my Mum would hate it. Although it was hard emotionally, physically & mentally at least I know I could not have done more & she died peacefully at home. Now as a paid carer I see other families and other elderly people facing the same probs and heartache. I hope my experience gives me the understanding and compassion to support them the best way for their needs.

Julian007 Sat 13-Sep-14 23:10:48

Just found another web site just like Gumtree.
This one is called
They have all types of ads there including the one above.

Julian007 Fri 12-Sep-14 22:29:57

Hi, I am looking to get my girlfriend a job as a live in 24/7 Carer.
She is 26 and comes from the Philippines but speaks and writes perfect English. She did 3 years training to be a nurse but did not complete because she fell pregnant with her four year old daughter. She has worked in 4 hospital during her training and is an udergraduate Bachelor of Science in Nursing.She has checkable references and has experience caring for her own Grandad.She is dedicted and reliable woman.
I spent 2 months with her in the Philippines and we are madly in love but unable to bring her to the UK unless I have a job earning £24,000 which I dont have as I am sadly unemployed not through lack of effort and I am Ex RAF.
I myself have only personal experience of caring for my mother foe 2 years before she died lat December. We are either just looking for a job for Shieka my girlfriend or we could share the work and do 3 1/2 days each 24/7.
The family would have to interview her/me by Skype to see if we meet their requirements.
The problem is she needs a confirmed job to get a work visa and then the employer would need to outlay £900 for a solictor to arrange a work permit that would take a few weeks and then finally a flight from Manila.
These costs would be paid back inside bthe first 2 months from wages earned.
In order for her to come here we need an offer of a combined income of £24,400 per year
To receive such an offer of work would be estatic because we have been 3 months apart and there looks to be no future for us. It has been heartbreaking talking on Skype. I tell her to forget about me because there is so little hope, I tell her to find a wealthy man but she refuses and insists we must try harder, well I am doing my best, all I can.
Its hard enough when a relationship breaks up necause one doesnt love the other but when 2 people love the bones of one another is simply heartbreaking. We would be so grateful, if we can provide a first class service and at the same time save our relationship from breaking up. We need someone with a heart to give us a chance. I am able to give you both our skype addresses if you call me Julian 07933123911.
She plans to leave her 4 year old daughter with her mother until we are able to bring her to the UK ourselves. If the family enjoy having a four year old around the home maybe even sooner but this is entirely at their discretion.
I have included some photos of mt trip there. Please let us help one another.
Thank you.

Jetmatlwt21 Tue 02-Sep-14 11:41:22

Hi, I'm trying to find a private carer that can come in daily to care for my father from 7-5 whilst my husband and I are at work. He has been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and is starting to need help daily with getting around etc.
The agency rates are extortionate and we don't want to put dad in a home as we feel the short time he probably has left should be at home in familiar surroundings with his family.
Does anyone know of where I could look?


teaandtoastandbutter Sat 09-Aug-14 23:29:57

This thread is over two years old.

I imagine care was organised two years ago hmm I find it really distasteful the way people are coming on trying to get jobs.

sammiebu Fri 08-Aug-14 12:30:42

Hi, dont know if your still looking but im a private carer with references and current CRB experience of 8years.
Please contact me if any interest to you.

bubu7012 Mon 04-Aug-14 19:54:55

I am a private career looking for a live care job. I have got 15 years of experience in field.

Janetl1 Mon 28-Jul-14 11:34:12

Hi Cindyz- the agency we use is At Home Care. They really have been a godsend. Their telephone number is 0843 289 8803 and their website is Good luck, hope it helps.

cindyz Sun 27-Jul-14 23:44:05

Hi Janetl1,
Am a carer an looking for another carer to cover when am off . I have been searching for an agency who can supply us with a carer for a reasonable fee to no avail Can you please let me have the details of the one you are using.
Many thanks

Janetl1 Thu 24-Jul-14 13:03:02


A word of warning if you employ someone privately HMRC can view you as their employer and therefore you'll become liable for national insurance, sick pay, holiday pay and more importantly it can be very difficult to get rid of them. I speak from experience as we employed a polish woman from an ad in the Lady. We now use live in carers from an agency, its only £35.00 per week more expensive and all the worries have been taken away. It's well worth it. If you want their details let me know. Good Luck

fackinell Mon 14-Jul-14 14:47:11

Kittens, have a look at PA pool. You can check the credentials and see pics of carers in your Grandmother's area and contact by email. I used to be on this as a carer when I lived in London. Have a good think about what exactly her needs are. Two pt PAs may be better than one to cover sickness and hols. Please insist on CRB and local, checkable refs.
Good luck.

Bon123567 Mon 14-Jul-14 14:26:56

I need a carer for my partner 1 or 2 mornings a week, 6:30AM that is when he wakes up, he has MS and I have been using a rotary stand, which he lifts himself up by himself and I put him on the commode, wipe him and after use the rotary stand again to lift him on the wheel chair. Should not take more than 1/2 hour.

claudetteht Mon 30-Jun-14 15:17:15

Yes I can help

claudetteht Mon 30-Jun-14 15:08:33

I'm a experience carer I have accomplished a lot of training in caring for the elderly I also have my CRB clearance and am looking for a job as a private carar without an agency.

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