My son's just come out!

(34 Posts)
belcantwait Sun 03-Jul-11 12:02:38

am so proud and happy for him. He seems happy and confident smile)) that's all really just wanted to share the lovegrin

mumatron Sun 03-Jul-11 12:05:52

That's nice. How old is he?

mumatron Sun 03-Jul-11 12:05:52

That's nice. How old is he?

Starchart Sun 03-Jul-11 12:12:05

Did you suspect anyway?

You should be so proud of yourself too you know. Lots of kids would be terrified about telling their parents, although thankfully, not as much as in the past.

belcantwait Sun 03-Jul-11 12:14:01

He will be 13 in September. I knew all his friends at school already knew and had seen things on his fb page so summoned the courage to discuss it with him. He volunteered the info, said he's been absolutely sure for about 2 years. We had a lovely talk about it and he seems so much more relaxed and at ease with himself now.

Starchart Sun 03-Jul-11 12:20:00

Gosh, that was brave of you.

Bloody great news though that you and he got here so quickly.

Do you have any worries/concerns though? I mean I would be over the moon if my ds felt able to tell me something like that so young but it does and can alter the way you imagined your/his future which might take some adjusting.

belcantwait Sun 03-Jul-11 12:21:19

We've 'known'since he was about 2 lol!!!

It sounds like you have a great relationship. Good on you for allowing him to be who he is smile

saffronwblue Sun 03-Jul-11 12:25:36

You must be really proud of him that he is open about it.

reelingintheyears Wed 13-Jul-11 15:02:00

Yes...you should be proud.smile

My son 'came out' a couple of months ago when he was/is 16.

we had also always known..just from the way he is.

I was grin and [tears of pride]

Congratulations on being the parents you are.

An old friend came to stay with us last week who we hadn't seen for about 20 years..he is gay and was delighted that our Ds was able to be himself, unlike him who is now in his 60s and grew up when it was illegal.

I remember this chap getting beaten up once because a collegue where we worked (in a LD hospital ffs) said he had been 'looking at him.

How i hope times have changed.

BeauBelles Wed 13-Jul-11 15:05:30

what is LGBT excuse my ignorance, after all these years on mn i have never noticed.

Great that your son felt relaxed and confident enough to talk to you, and at such an awkward age too.

reelingintheyears Wed 13-Jul-11 15:06:19

Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender.

BeauBelles Wed 13-Jul-11 15:07:13

oh thanks for that. Sorry I have genuinely never seen it.

Orellia Wed 05-Oct-11 23:50:45

Doesn't pride connote that you'd be less proud if that wasn't the case?
Homosexuality isn't a cause for pride, just a cause for acceptance. It is no 'great event', it's just something that was once indeterminate that is now known; it is not a talking point, or standard to rally around.

I would be proud if I had a 12 year old who could talk to me about something like that in such a positive way.

Arkady Thu 06-Oct-11 00:29:23

I too would be proud of having a such a sorted happy kid and a great relationship with him.

Orellia Thu 06-Oct-11 00:29:53

As would I, but I'd still also tell them that they're 12 and that there is no need to decide or confirm one's sexuality at that age. Surely it's as accurate as him telling you he intends to be a lawyer.

SamMiguel Thu 06-Oct-11 00:31:40

I don't think the op is saying she is proud that her son is gay, more that she is proud that he is able to be honest with himself and with her about something which, for such a young teen, must be quite difficult to admit, even in this day and age. She is proud of who he is and proud that he is able to be proud of who he is. I hope that at 13, my sons will be so self-assured.

SamMiguel Thu 06-Oct-11 00:36:27

Orellia, hardly the same thing, particularly as the op says they have 'known' for many years. It isn't a career choice. I know that many teenagers are bi-curious but would you tell your hetero teen to wait and see because they might start fancying the same sex? This is how he feels in the here and now, the op is not marrying him off into a life-long civil partnership. She is merely accepting that this is how he feels. I'm sure if, in years to come, he decided he was bi or even hetero, she would be equally proud that he is able to be honest with her.

Orellia Thu 06-Oct-11 09:20:32

It's as abstracted from his actual life as a career choice.
If he's already had sexual contact, then I genuinely think it comes down to child-like 'sex play' and if he hasn't then it's idly speculation relating to an over sexualization of a child who doesn't even need to consider concepts like that.
How he feels now is essentially meaningless because he hasn't even gone through puberty yet. If he's confident and self-assured right in the middle of puberty, that would be wonderful, but he isn't. He's confident and self-assured at 12, declaring things based on introspection that he shouldn't have been doing in the first place.

specialmagiclady Wed 21-Dec-11 08:01:11

Don't know if you remember being 12? Seething hormones, lots of sexual feelings, endless kissing of posters on the one hand. Wanting boyfriends/girlfriends even if you don't know what you want to do with them. On the other, people at school using "gay" to mean "rubbish". To know that you want Same sex relationships, and to be happy about it and able to talk to your parents about it is something to be celebrated! Hoping - if my hunch is correct - to be in the same position in 6 or 7 years!

Orellia, you're a right barrel of laughs hmm

Can't you just piss on someone's chips elsewhere? hmm

GashInTheAttic Thu 02-Feb-12 00:03:52

Being gay isn't exactly the same as a career choice Orellia.hmm

GashInTheAttic Thu 02-Feb-12 00:06:11

I knew i wasn't gay before i had had any sexual contact.

DS2 knew he was gay before he had.

GashInTheAttic Thu 02-Feb-12 00:08:06

And the OP should be proud that her son has the confidence and support and love to feel safe to be open about who he is.

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