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charity shop baby clothes(37 Posts)
My husband is an only child and has no cousins. Our baby will be the first grandchild in both out families.
My MIL is not short of money by any means and is often jet setting off around the world. Drives a new car etc.
She knows I love a bit of upcycling,Kirsty Alsop style for both clothes and homewear. However, I draw the line at charity shop baby clothes. Esp when you can get a bit pack of baby grows etc in supermarkets for very little money.
I now have two carrier bags full of new born baby grows that she has bought in charity shops. She hasn't bought one single item as new.
I don't know how to tell her I don't want them. She just keeps bringing them. My husband thinks it's gross too but won't say anything.
Should I tell her?
Yes, best set the scene now or else she'll keep on doing it. I don't think you're being unreasonable - especially for a PFB! (Now mine are older I do buy a lot of clothes for them on ebay... but for a baby...)
If you like upcycling and buy charity shop clothes for yourself, why are you so against buying them for a baby?
Why won't your husband say anything, is he frightened of his mother? That sounds like it will lead to even more problems in the future.
I don't see what's wrong with charity shop clothes, your baby will be likely to be sick over everything anyway . However if you really can't say anything to your MIL then you will just have to give them back to another charity shop.
I dont think that there is anything wrong with buying baby clothes from a charity shop (got DD a beautiful coat for NEXT winter from there last week!)- but you are right- baby gros cost very little so she could get you some new ones.
I dont think its 'gross'- but agree with previous poster- best to tell her.
There is nothing wrong with charity shop clothes. Many people don't have the choice. You seem pissed off that she can afford new, but won't buy it.
Have you considered that she is buying them because she thinks you'd like them more given your usual shopping habits.
Sorry, but you sound really ungrateful tbh
Actually, reading through this again, had you specifically told her in advance that you didn't plan to use charity shop clothes for your baby? If so, then yes, I'm a bit confused as to why she would buy them.
But if you haven't, then actually I think she has done a really kind thing. Its a lot easier to throw a pack of babygros into the basket in Tescos than it is to go and find some in a charity shop. If she knows you like re-using and charity shop finds, she has probably done it specifically because she thought it would mean more to you than a pack from the supermarket.
As for it being a bit gross , most people are just as precious about their babies as you are, and will have taken good care of their clothes and washed them carefully whilst they were using them, and again before passing them to a charity shop. Writing off everyone who passes their baby clothes to a charity shop as gross is a bit insulting.
Honestly!! Charity shop clothes should all be well washed and good quality. I used to work in a charity shop and we would always wash clothes before putting them out regardless of if they had been washed by the donator or not. New clothes are often treated with chemicals to make them seem to stay fresh on the shelf or in the packet FGS!
It seems to me that your MIL thought you would like those clothes as you like charity shop stuff otherwise. It sounds like you are just pissed off that she didn't buy new because she had the money to do so! If you really don't like them then just say thanks but no thanks but I do agree with some that you are being highly ungrateful. I have not much money and would rather get a friend or family member a decent quality item from a charity shop or ebay than a shabby quality cheep 'new' item. (and yes those cheap packs if babygros you talk about are often shabby quality. My PFB was often dressed in second hand and charity shop clothes with no ill effects.)
She may just know that many of those outfits will have been worn very few times, if at all, as so many people get PFB and buy everything new for their baby. She is surely in line with your usual love of up cycling, and is also saving a lot of waste.
Sounds like your MIL has her head screwed on the right way. Save your money now by buying clothes that your baby will only wear for a matter of weeks before he/she grows out of them and then you can save your money for other things - like holidays and new cars....
Why on earth you should think it 'gross' to buy baby clothes from charity shops is beyond me. I can assure you that the baby clothes that I donted to charity shops were well cared for, very much loved and not at all 'gross' . To use that well know MN phrase - did you mean to sound so rude?
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Ok maybe not gross. But babies are essentially sicking, pooing and weeing for the most part. You wouldn't buy underwear in a charity shop...
Oh and it's not even a money thing here. I would quite happily spend £50 on a nice ethically sourced woollen cardigan for a baby, as well as charity shop finds.
The local one had babygrows for £1 last year. I just brought 10 but happily have £20 to the charity
But nurses only need to wash there clothes at 60 also to kill the germs off from all types of germs/ vomit etc.. Wash at 95 degrees if you like. As long as they aren't cashmere they won't shrink
Dear god, most people with new babies are only too happy to receive passed on clothing! Clothes do wash you know. As soon as you have a baby people pass on bags of stuff.
DD3 has practically only ever had 2nd hand clothing as she's my last by a long stretch (after I'd given away all the baby stuff) and I don't intend to buy things new for her.
All of my dds clothes bar two outfits came from the charity shops/car boots etc. She was in first size for a handful of weeks. What a waste to buy it all new.
Having said that we went through a stage of being given boys clothes for dd a couple of years back, not an issue if she was little but she was in upper juniors. So if you have to you need to say something now.
it's not 'gross'. Are you twelve?
give them to your local women's refuge where they will be gratefully received. And tell your MIL that you have enough for the baby now, thank you.
No - I wouldn't buy underwear from a charity shop, but then I presume you're planning to buy nappies for your baby? Are you also going to refuse all hand-me-downs on the grounds that they might have poo/wee/vomit on them?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I probably felt the same for my pfb but if i had my time over i would definitely only buy second hand for at least the first 2 years.
New baby clothes are such a waste - of money and the clothes/resources themselves. They wear them for such a shirt time that you (and others!) end up throwing them away when still practically brand new
I had so many beautiful baby clothes from car boot sales I can not understand buying them new. The rate babies grow out of clothes it would be insane to throw them away - assuming they are not stained. I always gave them a nice hot (90 degree) cottons wash. But then I also used second hand reusable nappies so you probably think I am really gross!?
There's nothing the slightest bit 'gross' about it, and I suspect once the newborn fog wears off you'll find you're a bit less bothered by the idea. Give them all a wash and tuck them away - there will be moments when your PFB has puked over everything he/she owns when you may well decide that you are not actually that fussed after all.
But - this is the moment to say (or get your husband to say) to MIL that, even though you love buying second hand for yourself you are feeling a bit weird about it for the new baby and, no offence, but you'd prefer her not to buy more that way. But thank her for her kindness, and make clear that you understand why she thought you'd want her to do this - I have no doubt she is assuming you'd prefer these over new for reasons other people have already mentioned.
I don't buy underwear in second heand shops, but that's mostly because adults don't grow out of their underwear when it has only been worn a couple of times and is in perfect condition.
I bet loads of baby clothes have never been worn or worn once or twice. Shift through for the best stuff. If you don't want them contact your nearest women's refuge who often need a decent stock of clothing. Or those who organise trips loaded with goods for orphanages.
I've bought bras, nightwear and swimsuits from charity shops
draw the line at second hand knickers though .
Are you going to refuse hand-me-downs as well op?
Some of my baby's nicest clothes are from charity shops and other people. To be honest, given how quickly they grow and how much they sick/wee/poo everywhere, I think it's pretty daft to insist on only having brand new stuff.
Would you accept things second hand from a friend? How is a charity shop different. I can't imagine how much I've saved by getting clothes second hand, hundreds if pounds I'm sure. I think you're mad, sorry.
I think you're all being incredibly harsh. When I had my first baby, I wanted all new babygros and enjoyed the process of buying them. I have gratefully accepted hand me downs since then and given plenty myself. But the op should be able to do what she wants at this special time.
Give the babygros to a charity shop or women's refuge (excellent idea). Then you won't hurt your
MILs feelings. Tell her thanks but you have more than enough now.
No one is saying that she shouldn't be allowed to do what she wants for her first baby, its just that if she normally enjoys searching for things in charity shops, its not a surprise that her MIL might think she has done a nice thing by doing the same for her. To then be accused of being a cheapskate or whatever is just a bit, well, harsh. Also, the comment about second hand clothes for a baby being gross was pretty offensive, although the OP has since backtracked a bit on that.
If you don't want them, don't use them. It's your baby and don't let anyone bash you for your decisions.
If you'd rather not tell her, just donate them to another charity shop!
To be honest, if she has loads of money then she's being a bit stingy shopping in charity shops for her grandchilds clothes!
Babies fit in to stuff for a few weeks, it is a monumental waste of money buying everything new for tiddlers. You say MIL is well off, she probably is because she has done things like this.
Pass to your local women's refuge preferably or to the charity shop of your choice if you really won't use them.
I do think OP's DH must tell his mum if they are wasted purchases and entirely up to OP what she feels comfortable with, but..
I'd buy undies in a charity shop if they fit & I was in need. I've bought swim suits there & still wearing happily. My washing machine works fine.
Maybe the reason the MIL has so much dosh is because over the yrs she didn't turn her nose up at perfectly good pre-owned stuff, watch the pennies & the pounds will watch themselves, all that.
I agree with OP! I would buy outfits and coats etc from a charity shop for dcs but not babygrows i think simply for the fact they are probably the same price brand new in tesco in multipacks etc. Im not snobby at all when it comes to charity shops and hand me downs just seems a bit daft
I think that you are in a very lucky position to be able to turn your nose up at charity shop clothes for baby.
They are just fine - run them through a wash and hang on a line to dry.If you have a sicky baby you may be glad of them.DD2 went through up to 5 complete clothes and bedding changes A DAY!
You can get thicker,warmer and better quality stuff 2nd hand than you can for the same price new in a supermarket.
Babies don't care what they're wearing so long as they are warm,comfortable and dry.
And it's so much better for the environment to recycle clothes that are,after all,only worn for a few weeks.
I agree with lljkk.
It doesn't matter what the item of clothing is.Even swimwear,pj bottoms,or,yes,underwear.
Once they've gone through the washing machine they're clean.That's the point of washing machines.
I buy lots of clothes for the DCs from charity shops. Having just had DD after two DSs, we were innundated with baby girl clothes, many of which were just worn once or twice. Whoever picks them up when I've donated them will be getting real bargains.
I bought loads of stuff for DS in charity shops when he was a baby 75% of the newborn stuff had never been worn.
Even if it had, so what - I presume that they've been washed and you will wash them.
Washing is an amazing process, if you haven't come across it before - it gets rid of all the gross stuff and then the clothes come out clean! Very clever.
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