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Customer Compliance Officer

(73 Posts)
AbbieJayne1990 Tue 26-Feb-13 20:50:44

Hi all, I am new to the site and was wondering if anyone had any experience's with a compliance officer? I am a young lone parent and recently received a letter from the Jobcentre saying that they need to come for a home visit due to allegations that have been made against me. I'm not really bothered about it as I have nothing to hide, but it just gets to me that someone (I think I know who) has gone all out to report me.

Although I do have a boyfriend who is also the father to my 5 year old daughter, he does not live with me and ever since moving into my flat about 3 years ago I have had nothing but problems with certain people in my block of flats all because one of them had a fight many years a go with my boyfriends mum and clearly has held a grudge over him and his family ever since.
I know it sounds silly but that is the only reason I can think of, for someone to report me as I feel I'm not doing anything wrong.

My boyfriend does work and stays at mine on his days off which is about 2-3 times a week, but does not contribute to any household bills, cooking, cleaning etc. And the only clothing he has at mine is a spare pair of socks and boxers, and maybe a can of deoderant but that's it.
Is this really classed as benefit fraud? I have spoken to family and friends about this and they all say that I am doing nothing wrong, so I thought I would write a thread and find out from someone who has had experience with a compliance officer.

Babyroobs Tue 26-Feb-13 22:50:03

It may well seem odd to a compliance officer that you are in a long term relationship with this fella who is the father of your child and he stays over with you almost half the week yet doesn't contribute or help you financially at all. Does he pay maintainence for your child ? HMRC are really investigating single parent claims and scrutinising any financial links.

Babyroobs Wed 27-Feb-13 17:53:58

It will most likely be that someone has reported you for claiming as a single parent when they see your working partner visiting your home 2-3 days a week. It will be up to you to prove otherwise.

ivykaty44 Thu 28-Feb-13 09:32:43

you are in a relationship with the father of your child - therefore you are not a single parent. You may choice not to live together, which is fine but you are not a single mother - how can you be?

If you want to be in a relationship and then have a child and live apart fine - but don't claim benefits as a single person with a child - that is not what you are.

HeySoulSister Thu 28-Feb-13 09:35:10

Oh dear, this isn't good. You are in a relationship.

Why don't you live together? What's the reason?

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 09:39:03

What does your partner spend his wage on whilst the state supports you ? Does he pay you maintainence for your child? Compliance officer will want to know if he helps you out financially, surely he does not keep his whole wage to himself whilst you struggle on benefits ?

ivykaty44 Thu 28-Feb-13 09:45:00

I doubt op will come back

the compliance officer will check bathroom, any tv subscriptions and will have built a case around the op claiming, they will have made checks with the csa and other bodies.

ScottyDoc Thu 28-Feb-13 09:47:33

OP I don't want to worry you but like another poster said, DWP and HMRC are really investigating single parent claims now. I know a girl who was claiming as a single mum when she had a working partner, and she got called in twice to speak to customer compliance officers who were just 'checking ' on her relationship status each time. She came off benefits after that as far as I know and is living with her partner now. Her dp is also dad to her kids too. You technically aren't a single parent because in some way, whether its a pint of milk here or there or money for the kids, your dp is still contributing to your household. If I were you I'd get him to move in and whatever you can't afford, you may get HA or child tax credits to top your household income up. This is a common situation IMHO

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 09:55:08

Presumably op you have been with this fella for possibly 6 years. Has he really not contributed to the upkeep of his child for that length of time? Do your family and friends really not see any problem with this - are any of them taxpayers?

AbbieJayne1990 Thu 28-Feb-13 10:33:41

Thank you for all the replies, there is a reason as to why my boyfriend does not live with me and that's because we used to live together about 4 years ago but it didn't work out due to him bringing trouble to my door all the time and I got told by social services, police and my landlord that if there was anymore trouble then I would be at risk of being evicted and losing my daughter. So I decided that he wasn't going to live with me anymore because I wasn't prepared to lose my daughter or my home because of him.
He does not pay child maintenance at the moment, but we have spoke about him paying child maintenance but we don't know how to go about it?!
So when I start getting it off him would I need to inform the benefits people that he gives me i.e £20 a week?
I am only young and do not understand how it all works.

Heavensmells Thu 28-Feb-13 10:43:47

Surely if you have evidence i.e a council tax bill that he lives at a different address then you can prove that he doesn't live with you?

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 11:28:00

I think you will be ok if you can prove he lives elsewhere. it would be best to set up a maintainence payment though - it seems unfair that he gets away with paying nothing even when he has a job - I guess he know you and your child are being provided for so he will get away with it if he can - like he ahs for the past however number of years . He doesn't sound a great catch to be honest if he pays nothing towards you or your daughter, not even when he is at your house.

lougle Thu 28-Feb-13 11:44:22

I think you're likely to be in trouble, OP.

Have a read of the Tax Credits compliance manual

The DWP will operate similarly.

You have a boyfriend who is the father of your child and stays at your house 3 days per week. Do you socialise together? Do you eat together?

givemeaboost Thu 28-Feb-13 11:47:51

I have a similar setup, although he is not father to my children, hes simply my bf. There are no clear cut rules- i used to beleive he was only allowed to stay 2 nights, which i then found was a myth. Basically as long as he doesnt reside at yours permanantly and isnt financially linked you should be ok- so he will need to be on the electrol roll at HIS address, bills from his address, letters sent to his address etc
I cant see how youre doing anything wrong when the person does not live with you, presumably like my bf yours has rent/c/tax, food etc etc to pay for at his address??

Not sure about the whole aspect of it being your childrens father though, can you agree a maintainance set up? he should be contributing to his child.

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 11:55:53

You can set up a private arrangement for him to pay maintainence or you can go through the CSA. It will not affect your benefits.

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 11:58:53

I think the compliance officer may query why he has never been pursued for maintainence and may assume he has been financially assisting you in other ways. If you can prove he hasn't then you may be ok .

AbbieJayne1990 Thu 28-Feb-13 15:56:49

Thank you all for the replies, spoke to my boyfriend and we've arranged that he is going to start paying me £20 a week as from his next pay day as he's just had to give his mum his rent money. So where do I go from here? Do I need to tell the compliance officer that I've not received any money from him, but have recently made a private agreement with him that he is to start paying child maintenance? And would it need to be done through direct debit, or can he just give me the money?

lougle Thu 28-Feb-13 16:39:55

The DWP aren't interested about maintenance - it's not taken into account for benefit calculations.

What they are interested in, is that you have a boyfriend who is the father of your child and stays in your home 3 nights per week, yet you are claiming that you are single.

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 17:14:02

I think you will just need to be very honest with them, because they may well have been watching your partner coming and going at your home and may have been gathering evidence against you. I know that is not a nice thought but this is how they operate. Someone will have reported you either maliciously or because they think you are wrongly claiming benefits as a single parent. I think they will find it hard to believe that for the 2/3 days a week that he is there, that you pay for his food etc and get nothing from him when he works. Does he pay council tax, rent etc where he lives - does he have bills to prove it ?

lougle Thu 28-Feb-13 17:26:44

I still think that you need to stop thinking of this as 'they've got it all wrong'. The fact is you are living with your boyfriend for half the week.

Babyroobs Thu 28-Feb-13 17:47:34

Op, I think you will get away with this though .There was a married couple lived down my road, they split up and she started claiming as a single parent . He visited every single day from 4pm til he started his nightshift at 8pm. He stayed over from fri morning when he finished his last nightshift to sun pm. They continued to sleep together , eat together etc.They were reported but still no action was taken because he had another address. They got away with this for 2 years or more despite . She was questioned by a compliance officer but no action was taken.

AbbieJayne1990 Fri 01-Mar-13 19:01:13

Thank you for the replies. Oh yes I am going to be honest with them because I really don't have anything to hide. That sounds exactly like me and my boyfriend, he works night shifts and only comes up a few hours before he goes to work. So hopefully it will all go well with the compliance officer. I don't know about the council tax, but he lives with his parents so pays his mum and dad £120 a month and he doesn't have bills to pay there, his mum splits the rent money she gets off him and puts towards bills, shopping etc.

Selks Fri 01-Mar-13 19:10:24

I think there is a rule that you can have a boyfriend/girlfriend stay over up to a maximum number of nights per week and it not affect a claim as a single parent? You might be OK, OP.
I would book an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureaux as soon as possible and go and find out exactly what the rules are and how your situation lies with them. I'd advise doing that so that you know exactly what the crack is before you have your meeting with the benefits officer as some can be a bit inconsistent when applying the rules.
Either that or there might be a benefits advice service in your area that might be able to advise you.
Then have a good think about the maintenance side of things.

It's not easy sorting these things out when you're young, so it may help to get clued up on the facts of the situation.

Good luck.

lougle Fri 01-Mar-13 19:10:50

Tue 26-Feb-13 20:50:44
"My boyfriend does work and stays at mine on his days off which is about 2-3 times a week"

Fri 01-Mar-13 19:01:13
"That sounds exactly like me and my boyfriend, he works night shifts and only comes up a few hours before he goes to work."

Yes, that story sounds consistent hmm

AbbieJayne1990 Fri 01-Mar-13 19:38:14

lougle, I do not have to explain my whole situation through a site, I originally came on here to get a bit of advice as I was told this was a good site to come to, obviously not. I now know that I should never have started a thread. Yes I said my boyfriend works and stays at mine 2-3 times a week, but that is on his days off. He comes up every day to help me with our daughter as I am only 22 and sometimes find it a struggle coping with my daughter who has problems. I love it how people constantly look down their noses at young mums on benefits. Do you think I wanted to be in the position I am in today? I never wanted to be on benefits and can't wait to go out and get a job and earn my own money.

lubeybooby Fri 01-Mar-13 19:44:23

You will need to be able to prove that he lives elsewhere

lougle Fri 01-Mar-13 19:55:16

"Yes I said my boyfriend works and stays at mine 2-3 times a week, but that is on his days off. He comes up every day to help me with our daughter as I am only 22 and sometimes find it a struggle coping with my daughter who has problems."

It's irrelevant whether it's days off or not. The fact is that he is staying at your house '2-3 times per week', comes up every day to help you with your DD and you are claiming to be a single parent.

I'm not looking down my nose at anyone. I'm telling you that from the information you are posting, you are committing fraud, because you are in a relationship, behaving as if you are in a relationship and you are now admitting that your boyfriend 'helps you with your DD every day'.

Tell me, apart from the fact that he doesn't share his money, how is that any different than any other relationship where one of the couple works and the other stays at home?

If you look at whether you should be making a single claim or a couple claim, the fact that a couple don't share a house is not a defining feature. Many couples live apart during the week, for work purposes.

The fact that he doesn't give you money is only possible because you are in receipt of benefits.

Babyroobs Fri 01-Mar-13 20:20:14

To be honest Abbie, I doubt you will get into any trouble, but I don't think you can blame people for failing to understand why your working partner can virtually live in your house most of the week yet contribute nothing to pay for you and your child. It will be up to the compliance officer to decide if this is ok. Many folk on here will feel it is not ok - between the pair of you you probably have more disposable income than many other families because you choose to live apart. But you have given reasons why you have to live apart and I think you will get away with it.

Babyroobs Fri 01-Mar-13 20:25:09

I only say I think you will get away with it because I have seen quite a few single mums I know getting away with it . As long as they have another address whether it be their mums/ their boat whatever, they seem to get away with it. I ahve seen it time and time again.

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 20:34:56

Just because you don't like the answer you were given doesn't mean people look down there nose at you

it is amazement that the father me your child refuses to pay. For his own flesh and blood

tight ass

HeySoulSister Sat 02-Mar-13 10:05:50

We should all do this!!!

We'd all be better off.... Between us a full wage and full benefits.... Then he goes home and his mum does his washing!


lougle Sat 02-Mar-13 10:18:12

Quite. I'm usually saddened by benefit bashing threads, but this is an example of people having their cake and eating it.

Babyroobs Sat 02-Mar-13 10:49:49

I agree soul sister - I work nights and have often thought we could get away with doing this ! I could just register myself on the electoral roll at my Dads house, get my dh to claim as a single parent - with 4 kids we would really be quids in. Then I could just pop round for most of the day whilst being about £800 a month better off. We could have a really nice life. of course I am just fantasizing , in relaity we are too honest. But it makes me so so cross at people doing this, I have seen so many getting away with it for years on end.

difficultpickle Sat 02-Mar-13 10:50:41

If your dd is 5 and presumably at school then why can't you work? Also it seems a bit odd that you would want to spend half the week with a man that apparently puts you at risk of having your dd taken into care, or do social services not know he is staying with you?confused

Babyroobs Sat 02-Mar-13 11:15:35

Op has already says she desperately wants a job, so presumable she is looking for work.

difficultpickle Sat 02-Mar-13 15:22:31

Sorry I missed that bit, all I could see in this thread was the OP saying she couldn't wait to go out and get a job. Didn't sound as is she was actively looking which is the bit that I didn't understand. If her dd is school age then she has school time free and if her dp stays at hers three nights a week she has a ready made babysitter if she wants to do evening work. I assume SS must be okay with him staying with her or else obviously she wouldn't be letting him.

AbbieJayne1990 Sat 02-Mar-13 18:07:57

I am looking for work but not able to actually work at the moment, as the problems my daughter has, is stopping her from being able to do a full day at school. And about doing an evening job, again I am not able to do due to my boyfriend doing night shifts and being at his mums asleep most of the day. The stuff that happened between me and my boyfriend happened a long time a go, back when he was living with me 4 years a go, and things have changed a lot since then and since he has been living back at his mums. We are happy this way, so that's why I want to spend half the week with him.

lougle Sat 02-Mar-13 18:23:17

"We are happy this way, so that's why I want to spend half the week with him."

You can. What you can't do, is pretend you are a lone parent when in fact you are a couple who choose to spend part of the week apart.

difficultpickle Sat 02-Mar-13 18:34:24

You are either a single parent or you aren't. If you are a single parent then that means you don't have anyone other than children living with you. If your partner/your child's father is living with you for half the week then clearly you are not a single parent. Whether or not he contributes to the household income and has somewhere else to live is a complete irrelevance. If it weren't then all those families where the dh works away from home during the week would be classed as single parents.

difficultpickle Sat 02-Mar-13 18:35:29

Also if your partner is living with you for half the week and works night shifts what stops him looking after his dd for the half days she is not at school?

HeySoulSister Sat 02-Mar-13 18:36:16

Yeah! I bet you are happy!!

Best of both worlds! Don't you feel guilty taking benefits when you shouldn't be? Where is your shame?

fouranddone Sat 02-Mar-13 18:49:04

Op please do not do the young mum thing! I am also 22, I wouldn't class this as young anymore, I have 4 dc.

I don't claim housing/ council tax benefit etc however I have a rough knowledge of benefits in general through claiming cb and tc.

The first thing I thought when I read your post was that you are committing fraud!
You have a boyfriend, he is also the father of your child. Therefore you are NOT a 'young single mum'!!confused

thekidsrule Sat 02-Mar-13 21:42:06

so is the op not allowed to have a relatoinship then

plenty of single parents have relationships and dont live with them,but they stop over

maybe the op was/is in an abusive relationship and dosent feel strong enough to break things yet,who knows

so are we saying no sp can have a realationship now

difficultpickle Sat 02-Mar-13 21:56:16

The issue here is not the fact that the OP has a relationship but rather that she lives with someone. There is no issue with having someone stay occasionally but if they are living together the OP cannot by definition be a single parent. I assume that the issues with the OP's dp have been resolved as no one in their right mind would live with someone if SS had warned them that to do so could mean they have their dc taken into care.

lougle Sat 02-Mar-13 21:58:51

It's not about having a 'relationship'.

The boyfriend:

Stays on his days off
Comes daily to help with the DD
Sleeps with the OP
Is the father of the DD

The only difference is that he stays at his Mum's on the days after he works, so that he can sleep.

Oh, and that he gets to spend his entire wage on whatever he likes because his GF gets full benefits.

AbbieJayne1990 Sat 02-Mar-13 23:54:09

He doesn't live with me though, none of his belongings are at mine. I don't want to post about my private life but yes it was an abusive relationship and he was arrested for what he done. But I don't see how any of this is relevant to my original post. End of the day he doesn't live with me, he comes up every day to help me with our daughter as I find it difficult looking after her on my own due to problems that she has, how is that committing fraud in any way? Am I supposed to just sit back and struggle on my own? Because I already tried that and I ended up having an emotional breakdown and was later diagnosed with depression by my GP.
And he stays on his days off so that again he can help me with our daughter. I've been told that it doesn't matter who you have stay at yours for up to 3 times a week, as long as they aren't contributing to the household and they have their own address where they receive post and pay rent, then it's not classed as benefit fraud. I think the only way I am actually going to get any proper answers on the situation is if I go to Citizen's Advice, because me, my family and friends can't see how I am doing anything wrong.

ivykaty44 Sun 03-Mar-13 00:02:51

The compliance officer will give you proper answers - they will have built there case around the fact they think you have someone living with you as a partner, If you do not have a partner living with you then they will not have a case - so it is simple.

I guess your b/f has nothing to worry about as he will not be investigated and it isn't like it is going to cost him anything if you do get found guilty of fraud

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 00:08:13

And bisjo, Why are you trying to twist what I have said? I wasn't told by social services that if I stayed in a relationship with my boyfriend, that I would have my daughter taken away. The time he got arrested I was told that if they received anymore police reports, then our daughter would be on the Child Protection Act and further actions would have been taken. But it never happened again after that and the case was closed. It amazes me how I asked for a bit of advice and then I get people questioning my personal life, apart from the few that have actually been half decent and given me some quite good advice.

lougle Sun 03-Mar-13 00:10:36

"I got told by social services, police and my landlord that if there was anymore trouble then I would be at risk of being evicted and losing my daughter."

That's probably where she got the idea from, right there...

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 00:14:13

You need to look at this from the compliance officers point of view OP.

You may have been reported by a neighbour. The neighbour may have said that you are co-habiting and declaring yourself as a single parent.

Compliance officer looks into these claims and realises you are claiming as a single parent, and arranges a home visit with you.

At this home visit, you tell the compliance officer that you;

Have been in a relationship for 6 years.
Your partner is the father of your child.
You have previously lived together but it didn't work out, and he moved out to live with his mother, where he spends 4/5 nights a week and uses his mothers house as a base for sleeping/eating, before coming straight round to your house.
Your partner spends time every day at your home.
He spends 2/3 nights every week at your home.
He has not paid you regular maintenance, but upon receiving the letter arranging the compliance home visit, he is going to begin paying you regular maintenance of £20 a week.
You are in a relationship with him and socialise with him.

If I was a compliance officer, I'd be asking if your partner did things like take you shopping, do you do any of his washing, where does he store his things when he visits you at the weekend, do you eat dinner together?

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 00:18:27

No I don't have my boyfriend living with me, he lives literally a 20 minute walk away. So really there is no need for him to live with me as he's only down the road, it may have been a different story if we lived further away from each other, but still if we did end up living together then I would declare him as living with me. I'd never have claimed as a single parent if I thought my situation was looked at as fraud.

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 00:20:44

Oh and if I was a compliance officer, the maintenance arrangement would not convince me that you were a single the contrary.

I would think your partner has not been paying you maintenance because he has probably been contributing to your living expenses, food, petrol, clothes, things he can pay in cash.
It would seem rather odd to a compliance officer that you have suddenly made maintenance arrangements after you received a letter to alert you to the fact that the DWP want to arrange a home visit.

I may be too cynical, but I have been to compliance interviews before. Having said that, I wouldn't think they had been staking your house out, or had masses of solid evidence against you, so it mostly depends on what you say to them at this point. Obviously I am not suggesting you are not honest with them, but to use the young mum who is struggling wont wash I'm afraid.
That will just look like you are admitting he lives there, but are defending your reasons why. That's my opinion anyway.

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 00:29:31

Thank you littlemisssarcastic for the advice, I do intend to tell the compliance officer exactly what you stated for me to say, but that's because what you've said is the truth of the situation. He helps carry my bags back from shopping as I don't drive and I hold our daughter's hand whilst out and about, no I don't do any of his washing, maybe the odd pair of socks and boxers every now and again. All he brings to mine is his ps3, a couple of games and a spare pair of socks and boxers so he just leaves what he doesn't use in a draw string bag. And we have the occasional meal together because he eats at his mum's before hand. I don't see anything wrong in that.

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 00:40:40

He literally gives me no money, I sometimes borrow it if there is something I really need i.e gas, electric, food. But I always pay him back when I get my benefits through because although he is her dad, I felt I never had to ask him because the money I get from benefits is money to provide for my daughter. Didn't think it was much of an issue, but seeing as it has become an issue, me and my boyfriend agreed that he would start paying. The only reason we have only just made this agreement is because I got advised to make a private agreement with him and then let the compliance officer know when she comes round on monday. Oh no the 'young mum who is struggling' isn't an excuse, it is genuinely the truth. Anyway my mum is coming round on monday too, to support me, so hopefully things will go well.

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 00:46:28

Ok, so he takes you shopping, because he drives and you don't. How often does he take you shopping?

although he is her dad, I felt I never had to ask him because the money I get from benefits is money to provide for my daughter. Didn't think it was much of an issue

^ This is worrying, that you think the govt is responsible for providing for your DD and not your partner. Does your partner agree?

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 00:48:46

Perhaps I should have worded that a little differently.

It is worrying that you appear to think that the govt is solely responsible for providing for your DD instead of your partner providing for her

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 01:13:27

No he doesn't drive, he carries the shopping back to mine because I live 5 minute walk from my local supermarket and I can't hold my daughters hand and carry the shopping especially if I get too much. And he hardly ever helps me with the shopping, my nan or my mum drive so they help nearly all the time. Well I thought as me being her main parent (I mean the parent that does everything for my daughter), then I should provide and when I get a job once she is doing full days at school then again I can provide for her but be off benefits. I'm just trying to be the best parent I can be and give my daughter what she needs. No I don't agree that the government are responsible for providing for my daughter, that's why I am really looking forward to going out there and getting myself a job and paying my way through life. I've already got my eye on a few jobs in my area and intend on applying for them as soon as my daughter is at school full-time. But obviously a lot of people don't agree with my situations and are entitled to their opinion, but I feel strongly about me providing for my daughter and not her dad as if he does pay and then he starts messing up the payments, well I'm going to be worse off because I would have told the jobcentre that he has started paying, they would deduct the amount from my benefits and then I would be left short of money and I really don't want to put myself and my daughter through that. But I am going to do what I need to do and that's why me and my boyfriend have made a private agreement for him to start paying for his daughter.

lougle Sun 03-Mar-13 07:35:56

This gets better and better!

Maintenance is not taken into account for benefits.

Now you are saying that your boyfriend also helps you with shopping.

You say that you feel 'you'should provide for her, conveniently forgetting that it's not your money.

I hope the officer puts you right, because your lack of insight to your relationship us staggering.

wedwose Sun 03-Mar-13 08:08:09

You bf is working, gives you no money and no maintenance for
his child and only pays his parents £120 per month for room and food as you say you don't have meals together. Whatever else, he has a duty to provide for his child and on the face of it it looks like he can afford to do so. It also looks like enough is going on for you not to be treated as living together but the CO will decide based on her investigations. I would do exactly as others have suggested ie be completely open and frank with the CO.

AbbieJayne1990 Sun 03-Mar-13 09:43:07

He helps carry a couple of bags back from shopping because neither of us drive, and this only happens every now again as I have family who come and help me because they drive. There is no crime in that and it isn't classed as us living together. It's my life and I will do what I feel is best for my daughter, and if that is me providing for her then I will do that whether on benefits or not. I am currently looking for work and the first opportunity I get, I am going to apply and get off these benefits. All I done was ask for a bit of advice and I am getting nothing but people looking down there nose at me and judging me. You don't know my situations so who are you to judge. I'm not stupid, I know the benefits I get isn't my money, but it's money to provide for my daughter, right? Obviously until I get a job. Like i have said before, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'm just saying that this is my opinion on providing for my daughter. And yes I am going to be completely honest because I have nothing to hide.

HeySoulSister Sun 03-Mar-13 11:11:32

You do, you have a partner to hide.... One that should be providing!!

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 11:21:48

Abbie I am in no way looking down my nose at you, and in fact, have tried to help you by giving you some idea of what to expect the compliance officer to be asking.

I admit that your idea of parenting is somewhat confusing to me, but only because you appear to have this idea that as a mother, you are solely responsible for your DD, at least in a financial sense.

As a previous poster has already said, child maintenance payments would not affect your entitlement to benefit at all. That has been the case for a number of years now.
The only thing that may change is that if you receive maintenance payments, your local council may class those maintenance payments as income, and as such, would charge you marginally more for your council tax from April 2013, so actually you have nothing to lose by receiving child maintenance and potentially a lot to gain.

I am actually quite sad that you feel you should be the sole provider for your daughter. That must be incredibly difficult. Benefits is not a huge amount of money and it appears it is only you and your DD who are suffering if your XP doesn't pay maintenance.

I hope your XP is only taking home £134 a week, otherwise you are being royally ripped off, and more to the point, so is your DD.

ivykaty44 Sun 03-Mar-13 11:22:15

Why would anyone look down their nose at you? You came here asking a question about your living arrangements and you got answers, those answers are not what you appear to want to hear.

No one here needs to judge you but you seem to be judging yourself.

A few posters have asked why the father of your child is as tight as a ducks arse and refuses to pay any money towards your child - him I do judge for being so mean to his own flesh and blood and not providing for his child

littlemisssarcastic Sun 03-Mar-13 11:26:08

Apologies for referring to him as your XP, my mind was somewhere else at the time. blush

My last post was based on your boyfriend giving you £20 a week btw.

difficultpickle Sun 03-Mar-13 12:56:22

I'm a single parent. I've worked full time before ds was born and went back to work four days a week when he was 10 months despite him being prem, constantly ill (thank heavens for having a brilliant CM who still had him when he was ill and administered his medication) and developmentally delayed. It didn't occur to me to sit at home and claim benefits. After a year I had to go back to full time working as I couldn't afford to continue part time. What a mug I am.

I suppose I am lucky that I went to the CSA and they contacted ds's father and he pays £20 a week. Why haven't you done that? The CSA will assess your dp's income and that way you will have some money to support your dd.

If you have nothing to hide then the compliance officer won't have any concerns. All you need to be is open and honest with your living arrangements. The fact that your dp stays with you for half the week, works and give money to his parents but nothing to you despite eating at yours, using your heating, hot water etc. I assume there is a limit as to how many times someone who is your partner can stay with you before benefits authority class it as living together.

Frankly it seems very odd to me and rather sad that your dp is your dd's father and is your boyfriend but you are happy that he doesn't have an active part in your dd's life, assuming that he is not violent and social services didn't say you could lose your dd if he was in your life (which you did post earlier).

AbbieJayne1990 Mon 04-Mar-13 20:36:07

Had the Compliance Officer visit me today, she was a very lovely lady. She asked me a few questions, I told her about the whole situation and she was more then happy with the statement I gave her. All she said was that if my boyfriend does not live with me then he should only really come up for just a few hours before he goes to work and limit him to stay for a maximum of 2 days, which I am going to do. But other then that she said that because he has his own address with his parents, his post doesn't come to mine and he is down as living with his parents on his work records, then I have nothing to worry about.

As for the child maintenance, she didn't really say a lot about it, just asked me a few questions as to how long he has been working, then I told her that we have recently made a private agreement that he is to give me money for our daughter, and she was fine with it. So if I stick to what's been said about my boyfriend coming round less then the case will be closed.

difficultpickle Mon 04-Mar-13 21:44:01

Did you tell her that your bf is the father of your dc?

difficultpickle Mon 04-Mar-13 21:46:01

Sorry, ignore that. Did you tell her that you have only just set up a private arrangement and not received any payments as yet? Hopefully you will find a job soon and be able to stop claiming benefits. Surely the best solution would be for your bf to live with you, contribute to household expenses and the care of his child. You could then go out to work when your dc is at school and your bf could look after his child when he isn't at work.

Babyroobs Mon 04-Mar-13 22:19:42

I thought you would get away with it. I hope you do pursue the maintainence issue though as it is wrong that your long term boyfriend gets away with paying nothing. I can't believe your family and friends all see nothing wrong with the way he carries on.

littlemisssarcastic Mon 04-Mar-13 22:25:25

I hope you get the maintenance sorted too OP.

When 2 people have a child, those 2 people are supposed to support that child in whatever way necessary, including financially. When that is not possible, we have the benefits system for the financial support.
Unfortunately, your posts seem to suggest that you believe that the benefits system is there to support your daughter, and your boyfriend, your daughter's father is not responsible. confused

AbbieJayne1990 Mon 04-Mar-13 22:30:18

Yes I did tell the her that he is the father of my child and that we'd only just set up a payment plan and she was fine with it. We can not live together yet as I am not ready to take that step because of what happened between us in the past and at the moment all that matters is that my daughter see's us both happy and not arguing all the time, because when we are happy then so is she, and I told the compliance officer that. But once I have a full time job that works around my daughters school hours, then we may possibly live together.
And babyroobs, my friends and family did think if was wrong him not paying me anything, they just didn't think that my boyfriend coming up every day was a problem. Just so glad it's all sorted out.

difficultpickle Mon 04-Mar-13 22:37:13

What I don't understand is why you don't want your bf to look after his child at all? Surely if you are having a relationship with him you would want him to care for your dd? That would give you a lot more flexibility to be available for work rather than having to get a job to fit around school hours. Also if he is paying you maintenance you could use that for childcare costs when neither you nor your bf are around to look after your dc. It is pretty normal for parents to work full time and working school hours is the minority.

AbbieJayne1990 Mon 04-Mar-13 22:57:22

I never said that I didn't want my boyfriend to look at our daughter. He works night shifts so has to sleep most of the day due to health problems he has. And I don't like the idea of some stranger looking after my daughter, but that's not the problem because if neither me or boyfriend are around to care for her, then I have the support of family who live close by who have offered to look after her for a few hours after school if I'm working.

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