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Separated but living together - got the compliance officer coming round this afternoon........

(27 Posts)
ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 11:31:16

in relation to my joint claim.

Anyone shed any light on what they're going to ask, how bitchy horrible they're going to be?

Any paperwork we could get out ready to show her (XH's letters from the solicitor that show divorce proceedings under way for example?)

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 11:31:55

not in relation to my joint claim to my single claim - duh!

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 11:47:16

anyone please - I'm sh*tting myself about it. Know I've done/doing nothing wrong. But if they don't believe that we are actually separated and turn me down for IS I could end up losing the house I've found to move to......

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 22-Feb-10 11:54:43

years ago they used to look at

sperate beds

seperate food storage - his food in cupboard A your food in cupboard B, seperate shelves in the fridge, all labelled pref

things like car insurance for individual person not joint

umm I'll have a think and come back

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 22-Feb-10 11:55:33

So yy to any paperwork relating to the seperation/divorce proceedings

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 22-Feb-10 11:57:26

who does the laundry/ironing/washing up

you need to be able to say I do mine and he does his, that kind of thing

They are not dragons bastards or bitches mostly but have criteria which you will not be privy to, to check against

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 22-Feb-10 12:00:36

um um um thinking swiftly here (hard for me lol)

have you seperate bank accounts now, if not have you made an appointment with the bank to open your own pdq

um um um um

basically you need to demonstate that you are not cohabiting as a couple (used to be Living Together as Husband and Wife) so things like seperate toiletries, toothpaste, showergel all will be evidence you can use


GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 12:04:24

has someone reported you TAF??

its usually the case.

try not to worry,it might just be because you're still in same house. if you can show proof of when you are the receipt for new places deposit,then its clear your intentions are to be gone...asap

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:05:21

ok we have separate beds (I'm in DS2/3's room now)

no car insurance

he doesn't have a "shelf" or "cupboard" - but his food is all separate - except the milk and bread which we share as he contributes to that nstead of paying me my £5 a week child maintenence.

Washing - I just throw in whatever is there (have a huge 7kg drum) - but he does his own ironing (although it's all in a huge pile on together at the moment - although I was planning on doing some ironing this afternoon so I guess I could iron our stuff, and the it would only be his there.

Socks are sorted by the DS's grin

Washing up - again a mix - sometimes I finish loading the dishwasher (if I'm last to cook)- sometimes he does (if he's done himself noodles or friegs eggs at whatever time he rolls home).

We haven't really moved much of our stuff into "separate" places because I'm not intending to be here long, and because there just isn't the space to have our "own" cupboards iykwim

GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 12:07:16

how long before you're due to move?

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:08:50

BALD - we've always had separate bank accounts smile

Threeboy - no no-one reported us - it's because I've applied for my own claim for IS and said I'm still living in the same house as him.

I can't show receipt for deposit for new house as I should be getting that paid for through the rent assistance scheme at the council. Problem is they can't process my claim at the Housing Options department until I have my IS letter

I can give them the number for the letting agent who can confirm that I've paid the agents fees.

BoysAreLikeDogs Mon 22-Feb-10 12:09:15

okay it all sounds fine

good luck

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:09:34

ThreeBlonde - see my last post - I can't move until my IS is processed as housing options needs proof of it to be able to help me

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:11:29

thanks - I hope it is. When she rang XH was out and she said she could either come today - or it would be Thursday or Friday at the earliest.

I did mention to her then the Housing Options/House issue and she said that "sooner would be better then wouldn't it"


GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 12:12:07

so you're stuck waiting for that elusive letter! well good luck,from what you've said it surely is straighforward....just get through it....cant imagine the officer will be long!

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:14:30

I am stuck waiting for that letter, and the Tax Credits one - but I know that's been processed so probably winging it's way to me as I speak as I got a payment from them into my accout last week.

Ironically XH rang up to tell them about his change of circumstances at the start of last week and he got a letter on Saturday with his revised (single) claim hmm

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:48:10

it'll be fine won't it?????

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:48:48

oh and do you know if I'll know straight away if she thinks everything is as it is - or will I have to sit and wait for a letter in the post??

GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 12:49:44

yes,should be!

when are they cming? soon?

GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 12:50:46

no idea how it works but i would ask,not fair to leave you hanging

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 12:53:23

3.30 so couple of hours yet

where I could "theoretically" making it look more obvious that we are separated - but you know what - my house is in chaos, if she wants to come and spend a couple of hours squeezing all of my clothes etc into DS2/3's room so they're not in "his" - and rearranging my kitchen cupboards so he can have his "own" stuff (instead of just using the same plates/forks/pans etc) and put his food on a shelf of his own instead of in a bag at the bottom of the cupboard under the stairs then she's more than welcome.

As I have neither the time nor the inclinations to spend hours doing that, only to then have to go round and pack it all up again in the next week or so (fingers crosseD)

GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 14:18:33

maybe have a couple of cardboard packing boxes lying around....look like you're packing already!!

or show them the mumsnet threas you've had over the months!!

post back....let us know how it went

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 14:36:41

well I still have boxes unpacked from when we got back together earlier last year.........

I must get some more boxes sorted though as the ones I did get round to unpacking I got rid of - oops (mind new house is literally round the corner so I can probably take some stuff round "unboxed" hehe

ToccataAndFudge Mon 22-Feb-10 15:55:44

well here's the update.

She turned up at just gone 3.40

And has just left.

She filled in the first page of the form.

I started told her about the housing options/house thing and how I was waiting on confirmation of my benefits.

She did a double take - rang the office and has now left without doing the forms as she said it would be a waste of time given that I'm only still here because I need the letter.

Should hopefully have my IS letter in the post in the next couple of days grin

GypsyMoth Mon 22-Feb-10 16:41:56


am relieved for you!!

Onwards to the big move then!! Bet you're glad she's gone!

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