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Anyone paying maintenance to the dad?

(5 Posts)
Givemestrenght13 Tue 21-Jun-16 17:56:43

In a nut shell my teenage son has had a blip and won't have anything to do with me after being manipulated by his dad who controlled me for years.

We have been divorced over 10 years and now he wants to claim maintenance from me. He is a high earner who has long haul holidays and I have a term time job earning relatively little by comparison (and no holidays). The CSA calculator says I will have to pay £120 a month which will break me.

I still receive child benefit for now as my son does come to stay every 2 weeks or so, but I fear his visits will stop too soon. My ex is also going to make an application for the child benefit too, which I understand means he will then be able to claim maintenance from me.

Does anyone have any advice?

ladylambkin Tue 21-Jun-16 18:04:39

He doesn't have to be in receipt of child benefit to make an application to CMS. I would suggest that you call CB helpline and let them know your DS is no longer living with you, this will prevent any overpayment to you. If your ex is a high earner he won't qualify for CB. Unfortunately his income will not be considered when he applies to CMS. Remember if DS stays with you more than 52 nights per year you will receive a reduction on what you should pay. If you can enter into a Family Based Arrangement with your ex he wont need to go through CMS. Take a look at Child Maintenance Options for advice. Hope this helps

KimmySchmidtsSmile Tue 21-Jun-16 18:05:18

I have done term time only work and was paid monthly.
I have no idea of your circumstances but would suggest:
1. You look at Summer holiday work: playschemes take on people for the Summer or stewarding for conferences/sporting events or temping for six weeks if you are clerical/ summer schools work if teaching.
2. You try to maintain contact with your son but accept that is separate from the maintenance issue. To be honest, if your son no longer part-lives with you, and Dad will have sole custody/be prime care giver then, unfair though that might seem, he IS entitled to the child maintenance and allowance, although I thought the latter was means-tested.

ladylambkin Tue 21-Jun-16 18:08:31

If OP takes on extra paid work though it could increase her earnings and in turn increase what she needs to pay. When I was term time my wage was spread evenly over 12 months so I was paid each month.

LemonSqueezy0 Thu 14-Jul-16 13:35:12

I do think that any parent should be prepared to contribute to the upbringing of their child. When it was the other way around you were comfortable to take cms from your ex. I think if you had a look at your finances, and seek advice you could work some things out. As well as not as having the money, your expenses will also be less remember. Definitely seek advice, and don't bury your head In the sand, for your own sake. Good luck smile

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