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12 weeks pregnant, partner has left me how will I cope

(7 Posts)
user1466140417 Fri 17-Jun-16 06:50:12

Hello, I am 12 weeks pregnant (not planned) and my partner has left me and wants nothing to do with me or the baby, after telling me initially he would support me whatever my decision. I have a termination book for next week and having nightmares about going through with it. This is such a devastating situation to be in and I am wondering how I will cope as a first time single mum and financially as maternity pay will not even cover my rent. Can anyone tell me what benefit support I am entitled to as a single mum? Thank you

Capricornandproud Fri 17-Jun-16 08:56:55

Sending hugs OP... Do not even think of attending that appointment unless you're 100% sure it's what you want. Do you have friends or family to keep around you at the moment? And move any money from joint bank accounts to yours immediately, or withdraw it. Would it help to cancel some direct debits so any money you do have won't disappear on you?

There's emergency help available re housing and benefits but I'm not hugely aware of all that so hopefully another poster will come along that knows more. Although terrifying, a baby is the most amazing thing in the world - after all the tiredness, heart break and stress! And what a wanker by the way to do this to you! Do you think he'll step up financially in any way if you did become a single parent? Xx

Bearbehind Fri 17-Jun-16 09:13:47

I'm not sure emotionally charged posts like that will help capricorn.

Is anyone ever 100% sure about a termination?

There are websites you can checked your entitlement OP but make sure you think about all the practicalities of this situation. Money is just one, albeit important factor, but there are many others, not least what support you have around you.

Babyroobs Fri 17-Jun-16 09:22:39

Once the baby arrives, you would be able to claim housing benefit , child tax credits and child benefit depending on the wage you earn. When you go back to work you should get help with childcare costs as long as you work 16 hours a week or more, but again this is dependent on income. You may also be entitled to working tax credits if your income is likely to be less than £17k. You could also enquire as to whether you are eligible for the sure start grant ( you ay be eligible once you start claiming child tax credits). You absolutely should chase your baby's dad for child maintainence once the baby is born if he is working, he should not have a choice whether to pay for his child or not. Look on Gumtree/ facebook selling sites/ NCT sales/ Ebay for cheap baby clothes/ equipment etc, there is an abundance of stuff around. The only things you need to buy new are cot mattress and car seat. take a look at benefit calculaters on sites such as Turn2Us and Entitled to to see what help you would get. God luck.

Capricornandproud Fri 17-Jun-16 09:25:48

Just a thought but don't be afraid to turn to charities for some of the baby stuff - most of it's brand new! And post away on here as you will find help and support. Whatever you decide, hugs xx

user1466140417 Sat 18-Jun-16 16:24:30

Thank you both for your responses and kind words, I am still at a loss of what to do, it just feels like a complete nightmare and my head is frazzled and cloudy and really unsure of the direction to go in

scarlets Sun 19-Jun-16 20:02:34

You've had fab advice about finances, above.

These guys can help you make a decision about the procedure:

www.bpas.org/abortion-care/considering-abortion/

Best of luck.flowers Keep us updated.

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