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Drowning in debt

(17 Posts)
canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 09:49:58

We ate in Irl so before I start tax breaks etc are no use to us but thank you.
DP has a lot of small debts but tbh we were managing up to now but it is all gone pear shaped big time
Our wages mine Euro 340
DP euro 490
Total in Euro 830

Money out weekly
Maintence Euro 200
House mgt Euro 80
Credit Union Euro 140
Loan company Euro 190 (this and above are non negotiable and must be paid)
Health insurance Euro 18
Tax mistake Euro 40
Electrcity Euro 20
Heating (coal) euro 10
Petrol Euro 40
Chemist Euro 20
Doctor Euro 15

Total is Euro 723.

Left is Euro 107 to pay
Arrears in Electricity (€300 dp moved to prepay on a whim one day)
Mobile(€55)
Water charges (€140)
Oil company (€200)
Food
Car tax and insurance plus mechanic stuff and tyres NCT/MOT
Oil for coming year
Birthdays
Dr or emg stuff
Clothes
Bet I am forgetting loads
I maxed out the credit card to buy food for the month all wee need is some fresh veg and milk for the month.

I am lost in this mess and DPs ans is get another loan angry Tbh we have a short fall of €100 a week. we are repaying so cannot do debt management.
I am thinking of going to DPs work credit union to try gather all the debt into one repayment (honestly euro 4000 is the total debt) but he owes the credit union Euro 10,000 ( this is secured by his lump sum pay when he leaves the army (lump sum is worth €36,000) so pay more longterm but only one payment per week on loan stuff.
Ok looking at figures it would be all from his wages
Euro 200 maintence
Loan Euro 200 over 5 yrs
Freeing up all the arrears, car fixed and the €220 per week
So we have €90 from his wages and €340 from mine to pay per week the normal bills

2 adults and 1 dc but some times adult dsc x2 and our foster dc x4 for 48 hrs a week staged return to family.
We both do shift work and manage child care between us and a friend so no extra cost there. But due to our work no chance to take on extra work either right now
Added costs I need to be gluten and dairy free but tbh i dont replace, do without or eat it if we have nothing else
No sky, no nights out, no new clothes, all shpping from aldi and end of day at the butcher. Car used for work and shopping only
Where do I go what do I do?
Dreading telling DP it is his medication or ciggarettes. He has only managed to wean off codene in the lat 6 weeks saving €20 a week he is not in a good place right now

Wheresthattomoibabber Fri 08-Apr-16 09:55:57

I think the best place to start would be doing a proper organised SOA - look on the Martin Lewis website at the Debt Free Wannabe boards. You can see from your post that your thoughts are all over the place.

Deep breath, cup of tea (without milk!) and gather all your paperwork in one place. One step at a time. You can sort this.

Alfieisnoisy Fri 08-Apr-16 10:01:23

Ham I understanding correctly that your DH is in the army? If so then it might well be worth exploring what debt help they offer.

Definitely recommend Martin Lewis Debt Free Wannabe too. Some very knowledgeable people there.

Don't despair...lots of us have been in similar situations and understand.

Your will be able to find a solution.

Wheresthattomoibabber Fri 08-Apr-16 10:04:54

I think you need to be putting in realistic amounts for everything so you can see your real position. You currently have no figure for food shopping or credit card payments.

llhj Fri 08-Apr-16 10:07:22

Where's your children's allowance?

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 10:16:47

Sorry food i try to keep at €70 a week we are lucky we grow veg and fruit and freeze.
Childrens allowence is for one DC and that pays for school stuff and christmas (I put it into a post office account to keep it seperate)
Having a panic today
Going to a start your own business from home set up next week as well

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 10:17:20

Credit card is €25 a week sorry

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 10:22:56

Alfie yes DP is in the army, their debt solution is borrow from ansac the credit union at 13.5%. We are lucky were are not about to lose our home and it is day to day bills are catching us because of loans Many are so worse off. 7 yrs ago DP earned €900 a week😮 those cuts have killed people with a huge mortage. We are lucky to have a small repayment as our hse needs work that luckily can wait.

Wheresthattomoibabber Fri 08-Apr-16 10:28:16

I can't get a handle on how many people that food budget is for. Two adults and a dc? And extra dc at other points?

Onynx Fri 08-Apr-16 10:39:43

Op would it be at all possible to renegotiate the weekly amount with the credit union? They usually have an officer specifically dedicated to loan management and are pretty approachable. Other non urgent thing is the water charges - they would be the least priority imo. Do you have a mortgage? Do you receive TRS?

llhj Fri 08-Apr-16 10:50:53

At 140 euro a month, I think you might need to not separate your child benefit. He can't need that much for school, I know you buy books etc but that's 1680 euro a year. Now even xmas and books/uniform cannot be absorbing that.

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 11:45:58

Yeas that ia the biggest problem who is here and when
It is 2 adults and 1 dc x 7 days
An extra 4 dec x 2 days

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 12:04:19

IIIhj I keep it seperate or DP will use it and it will be swallowed up.
DD was in infants last year it cost all in €580.That was uniform, tracksuit, shoes, books, work sheets, school contribution etc for free education Christmas and birthdays -- funeral-- were €800. The rest I use for hse insurance, car insurance, tax and tyres. I used €700 last year when DD was in hospital (hence layla now) tbh I try to keep it as an Oh fuck accountblush
There is €120 in there right now

canyou Fri 08-Apr-16 12:05:05

Car tax due in may

uhoh1973 Tue 12-Apr-16 12:41:41

Excuse if some of these are not applicable;
+ Anything you can sell that you dont need? Carboot? Babysit for friends etc?
+ clothes and uniform for DC I recommend charity shops. We can save here if we buy the kids' clothes at charity shops.
+ Shoes try chipmunks have very reasonably priced school shoes for small kids.
+ School contribution - in the UK these are voluntary. If you explain that you are in a financially tricky position I am sure they would let you off? Usually schools have a hard ship fund.
+ Ask any friendly relatives to help you with the xmas presents rather than buying piles of tat that you didnt want in the first place.
+ Am I right understanding you get an extra 4 kids at the weekend? These are being fostered or you are fostering them?

Check out the moneysaving website for guidance on setting a budget etc. I definitely wouldnt borrow any additional money. Maybe speak to relatives and see if someone can help you with some of the debt? It doesnt seem like you are in a big amount of debt so the situation is not hopeless at all and you are doing a great job.

Good luck!

TheVeryHungryPreggo Tue 12-Apr-16 12:54:31

To be honest, your DP's attitude is concerning me a bit here.

Cigarettes and painkillers and "just take another loan" and "impulse decisions" to change electricity supplies and he will spend all the child benefit if he gets his hands on it? It's not really the attitude of someone who cares about being in debt or not. Cigarettes are unfortunately a luxury he can't really afford right now and you're worried about how to break it to him?

Unless he gets his head out of the sand you're both going down.

Call StepChange right now and talk to them about your situation. Don't go in trying to get consolidation loans from banks etc without speaking to a debt advice service first - but be careful who you speak to. There are many debt management services out there and it's a poorly regulated industry. StepChange is the best because it's a charity which means they don't charge you fees for the advice and help, and they're unlikely to go bust taking months of your payments with them.

canyou Tue 12-Apr-16 22:33:48

Thank you
The DC were fostered full time until recently by us and are now staying a few nights with their DDad building it up to full time. They stay week nights to allow him work . DSC comes at and when he wants.
Re xmas Santa brings stocking and one gift it is €100 per DC except DSC we pay 50% of what their DMum buys, this is court ordered. As is maintenance.
Voluntry School contributions are a must not voluntry hmm
School uniform are from a supermarket except for the tracksuit which has a logo. Still that will decrease next sept when it is just our DD. Honestly in Aug two loans are finished it is just to get there.
Everything is sold. Including my jewlary.
No one to borrow from tbh. And it would cause bad feeling if We had problems paying back I would prefer to avoid it.
He would not spend the money on himself just cannot see that good deals are not always best ie the electricity he looks for the quick fix.
He is under the care of a pyschatrist for his PTS and the codeine addiction, they are helping re the cigs as well but it cannot be all at once. I must be guided by her on this.
Debt services here will not help I have spoken to two companies and citizens advice but as I am paying a bit off everything and mortage is being paid they will not help/advice angrysad

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