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Awkward!

(6 Posts)
rainbowshine1 Wed 25-Jun-14 11:02:11

Ive just moved in with my new partner and two of my children. Ive lost my working and child tax credits (over 500 a month!). We split all the bills. Once Ive paid my half and paid out for my car insurance and car loan I have very little left for child care and petrol. This month I have nothing left because I have kids birthday coming up.
Im gonna end up living off the "bank of DP" I just feel REALLY awakward and cheeky.....how do I get passed this? He doesnt mind, I know he doesnt. I just feel awful, like Im sponging.

Rockchick1984 Wed 25-Jun-14 11:18:36

If he's earning more, would it make more sense that you don't split the bills 50:50? Particularly if you have more expenses that he's not contributing towards eg childcare? Before I stopped working, me and DH kept the same amount of "spending" money after bills were paid so while I was working I paid more than he did as I earnt more, once I was on maternity leave he paid more.

Frontier Wed 25-Jun-14 11:20:00

Well, TBF you were living off others before. How did you reconcile yourself to that? Not saying it was wrong but the only way around it is to increase your earnings so you can support yourself and your children.

Now you're living with DP are you supporting him in ways that enable him to more easily/comfortably earn the money that is supporting you all?

I work PT and DH earns most of our money but he works away a lot and does little at home, which I'm happy with, as that's my contribution to "our" earnings. He (probably) wouldn't earn as much without me at home.

rainbowshine1 Wed 25-Jun-14 11:28:24

We both work full time and earn round about the same, him prob a little more than me. Im considering taking on an evening job but then it would mean not seeing the kids on an evening.
Hardly think Tax Credits is "living off others" Ive worked every single day since I left school almost 20 yrs ago, I dont look upon it as a handout, I saw it as help whilst I was a single parent.

Frontier Wed 25-Jun-14 11:36:08

Quite, and you're not a single parent anymore, so you don't need the help.

Obviously your change in circumstances will take a bit of getting used to but if you're going to live as a family, it's only right that your resources are pooled.

Olive15 Sun 29-Jun-14 21:17:40

Maybe split all of the bills (including car insurance petrol and child care)? Then it might be more fair

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