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partner said he'd rather go on holiday than get married

(138 Posts)
Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 13:49:49

Hi im new to this, so bare with me.
recently me and my partner have been talking about getting married in 2018, we set a date without paying a deposit. But recently his parents have mentioned goingmon holiday to orlando for 3 weeks, im from the uk and flights to Orlando at the moment are are £3000 for me my partner and my son. I told my parner we need to decide wether we save for the wedding or America, he said he'd rather America, im a little upset as I really want to marry him hes an amazing father and I really love him, I just wish he wanted to marry me as much as I want to marry him. Im deverstated we have to say goodbye to the wedding sad just want someone to talk to

But weddings can be super cheap. Registry office, simple dress, etc.

maybe he would rather fork out ££££ s for a holiday than one day? Doesnt mean he doesnt want the marriage, just that he would rather spend a lot of money elsewhere.

has he proposed?

IslaValargeone Sat 15-Mar-14 13:52:36

You can still get married, that's not expensive, it only becomes pricey when it becomes an all singing all dancing wedding.
Is it the marriage or the wedding you both want?
Have a very low key 'wedding' and make Orlando the honeymoon perhaps?

Marriage does not equal wedding. They are different things! Wedding is a day long party, marriage is a contract.

You can get married withs simple, tiny wedding, and then fly off to the US.

Basically, get married if that is shat you both eant, and thdn choose between big wedding party or big trip!

scarletforya Sat 15-Mar-14 13:56:42

I'd rather a holiday than a wedding to.I'd consider a wedding a waste of money.

Like the other posters said if you really want to get married you could just do a registry office. The holiday could be your honeymoon!

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 13:57:42

Yes he proposed in 2010, Call me what you want but I really like the idea of a beautful wedding, I always remember watching father of the bride and thinking how amazing it looked and I know he wants the same. I think its only once you should do this so why not do it the way I've always dreamed, please don't think im snobby or anything.

superlambanana Sat 15-Mar-14 14:06:12

Could you get married in Orlando...?

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:14:25

I'd love to but I really want my mum to be there and she would never be able to afford to come to America with us. I need to win the lottery tonight lol

What kind of wedding are you planning if you have £3k holiday money this year that You'd rather spend on a wedding... and have you been saving since 2010?

Have a holiday, why not have a plainish wedding before going, then it can be your honeymoon. Father of the bride was a high budget Hollywood movie... its not real life...

LittleBearPad Sat 15-Mar-14 14:17:29

Can I check... You were planning a wedding in 2018? Why so long. Weddings do not have to cost a fortune even with a lovely dress etc.

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:23:02

No I haven't been saving since 2010 I fell pregnant with my son in 2011, I understand it is a film, it just mine and his dream to have a lovely wedding, and im planning it for 2018 because it would literally take me that long to save, I wasn't quite clear I didnt mean a holiday this year it would be 2 or 3 years as I just dont have that type of money!

iseenodust Sat 15-Mar-14 14:25:06

You're not saying goodbye to the wedding unless you want to. Also flights do not have to cost that much even in school holidays. Can you comprise on which month the holiday falls in so prices are cheaper and then you revise your dreams of a huge wedding to something you both think is a reasonable cost?

eddielizzard Sat 15-Mar-14 14:27:15

i would be hurt too. but there must be a way round this. you can have a beautiful but cheap wedding. best wedding i ever went to, in a park, bride had made up picnic baskets for everyone. we found a lovely spot and had a great time. was amazing. cheap as chips.

Floggingmolly Sat 15-Mar-14 14:29:56

...thinking how amazing it looked and I know he wants the same.
He's just told you he doesn't. Why aren't you listening?

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:30:39

Well my son will be in school by the time we go and these days your not allowed to take your children out of school, so we had to choose august as its the 6 weeks holidays, partners parents want to go for 3 weeks see. And we have checked british airways flights for august andnit adds up to around £3000 for flights alone

crazykat Sat 15-Mar-14 14:38:00

You can have a beautiful wedding that doesn't have to cost thousands. You can make your own invitations, table settings, decorations etc. If you were planning on waiting four years it gives you plenty of time to learn how to make centrepieces.

Church weddings are expensive but there are some beautiful hotels depending on where you live.

Okay you couldn't have a horse drawn carriage, 10 bridesmaids, 309 guests and a designer dress but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be beautiful and special.

A marriage isn't all about the wedding and tbh I'd rather get married on a budget and have an amazing holiday after rather than spend £10,000 on a wedding day.

LittleBearPad Sat 15-Mar-14 14:43:27

Can't you go before school holidays impact? You have until 2015/6 or so?

90sthrowback Sat 15-Mar-14 14:45:49

TBH I'm with your future husband on this one (and I've been married nearly 20 years).

90sthrowback Sat 15-Mar-14 14:46:15

"I really like the idea of a beautful wedding, I always remember watching father of the bride and thinking how amazing it looked and I know he wants the same."

He doesn't want the same, you're not listening to him

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:47:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ImperialBlether Sat 15-Mar-14 14:51:27

Honestly, OP, you're out of your mind! You've planned a wedding for 2018 which you want to be like a Hollywood film - this will inevitably mean that you will have to seriously limit all spending until that date. You're paying for everyone to be in that Hollywood film, not just you, don't forget.

Now your husband has said he'd rather go on holiday, thereby proving to you he doesn't want to limit all spending.

Be sensible for god's sake! Don't waste all your money on trying to star in a movie.

Floggingmolly Sat 15-Mar-14 14:53:28

Get a grip. Bitch
Ok... Perhaps I misinterpreted your thread title Partner said he'd rather go on holiday than get married ; and it actually means something other than what it says?

Snargaluff Sat 15-Mar-14 14:56:06

Bitch?

Haha.

Op no one has said he doesn't want to marry you. Although having said that, I'd say if someone would prefer a holiday to a wedding when given the choice, then I guess they don't really want to marry you.

specialsubject Sat 15-Mar-14 14:56:11

This is a free advice forum that anyone can see, so you might want to lose the playground insults. If your fiance sees what you say he might change his mind.

Deenamumof1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:56:53

Oh my jesus, when I said I loved father of the bride I didnt mwan I want the swans and all that I just dont want to do everything so cheaply as I feel its only once you get married, please stop having a go, is it really thatbad what I've said, my partner wants the same hes said about loads of things that will cost a lot and ive said no its to expensive so stop saying he doesnt want this as much as me

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