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Debt support thread #2

(1000 Posts)
Nerfmother Fri 28-Feb-14 17:25:20

Here we are! Can't be bothered to think of an exciting title, sorry blush

KinkyDorito Fri 28-Feb-14 17:35:58

Marking place on shiny new thread grin

Possiblyorange Fri 28-Feb-14 17:50:37

Hello new thread!

Possiblyorange Fri 28-Feb-14 18:03:01

Thewildones oh that sounds so hard with you DH. Mine took a looonnnngggg time to get on board with the budgeting thing (I started attempting make some headway with this back in about August last year, he started taking it seriously in September at some stage, we started using YNAB budgeting software in October and it's only now that he's really down with making some serious budget cuts and making major changes to how we spend money, rather than just waiting for my business to grow and take up the slack). I like talkin's idea of printing out the CC table - maybe also print one out with overpayments so he can see how much smaller it is, if that isn't shown on the original spreadsheet. One of the things that helped with my DH was talking about what we could do once we are better off - i.e. we want to buy a house, that isn't going to happen until we have not only paid off the debt but saved a great big pot. Even he could see that £40,000 isn't going to magic itself from thin air.

I have just sat down and worked out our projected worst-case shortfall this month (i.e. the amount the credit card debt will go up by) if I don't earn anything. I am on maternity leave from my business where I have to see clients/prospective clients/business associates, but I have another teeny weeny web based business that I will be able to make something from, and I have some stuff to ebay. So here I am, announcing in preparation for the 1st of the month, that by my calculations our worst case debt addition in March is (eek!) £2,696. My mission is to bring that down as low as humanly possible by earning more and spending below budget.

Lisad your situation sounds really tough and emotionally exhausting as well. Do you know when you'll get an answer re benefits payments?

Mum2Fergus Fri 28-Feb-14 18:21:28

Ooooh,shiny new thread...evening all smile

Burma Fri 28-Feb-14 18:29:57

Hello everyone smile!

Lisa gosh what a lot you have been through and are going through, not surprise that you feel panicked.

TheWildOnes hope that you manage to get through to your DH - it is hard facing up to these things but I do think in general people feel better once they know what they are up against and can put a plan of action into place.

TalkinPeace Fri 28-Feb-14 18:31:24
Nerfmother Fri 28-Feb-14 18:33:23

Hi Lisa, blimey what a lot to contend with. Selling the house and paying stuff off must have felt quite positive, but hard now to adjust?

Definitely hard to get the other halves to appreciate it sometimes. Dh has finally understood and listens when I talk at him about it. I think he finds it hard to be working really hard and not have anything to show for it.

themoneyone Fri 28-Feb-14 18:56:51

hello!
So, confessional, I did get my hair chopped (from shoulder to bob length, yikes), but went with the amazing junior for £20 less than usual.

DH and I have ynab on our phones. Excluding food and buying anything this month, we are £800 in minus figures. Most things will go on the tesco card (all apart from aldi shop) to be paid at the end of April. Like orange, my aim is to end the month as best as can be. Ebay here I come!

We plan on taking out £100 a week for food/nappies/toddler groups, etc. Will read the dedicated support thread, but need to work out how to balance cash (we want to keep a track of what we spend where without 'double recording').

themoneyone Fri 28-Feb-14 19:08:03

And yes to the tardy DHs! Dh dismisses our debt and encourages spending as 'I earn £x, it's fine'. I headbang - we owe 8k, it's not fine! (Failed business plus student loan plus fuck knows).

Puffer123 Fri 28-Feb-14 19:16:25

Hi, how did the week pass so quickly?! Mostly NS from me, except Aldi and Lidl so the staircase is slowly solidifying. Very interested to hear how ynab is so popular, might give it a try, and so sorry to hear about the gambling, wild ones. Rings a chord with me, the loss of trust was the worst for me. Good luck with getting him on board and once you have him there, take and stay in control if you can so you don't have any relapses to deal with on top of the debt. wish someone had told me that back then but we can't talk about it all in RL...

Mum2Fergus Fri 28-Feb-14 19:16:36

Yes on DPs/DHs...mine keeps sending me links to new TVs. One we have is perfectly good-flat screen..."but it's only 32inch"!? Which is usually greeted with a vacant look from me lol ...

ishesingle Fri 28-Feb-14 19:24:23

Themoneyone - you need to set up a "wallet" as an account - one each or a joint one. Then when you take cash out, transfer the amount to the wallet - don't record as a transaction.

Then, when you spend it, record as a transaction as normal, but make sure it is spent from the wallet account.

TalkinPeace Fri 28-Feb-14 19:27:34

Credit cards are great. I just paid my monthly bill. It was over £4000. I've paid no interest in five years
UNTIL
you can be absolutely certain that you will have the money saved / earned that month to pay for what you want
do not buy that thing

One of my clients came round years ago to pick up his records and told me there would be a delay on paying me because of his credit card bills.
I asked to see the cards in question
his wife guessed what I was about to do a fraction before he did and said nothing
I pulled my sewing scissors out of my back pocket and cut all three cards in half
and then told him he had a week to pay me

it worked at keeping him on the straight and narrow for ten years
sadly at the moment his alcoholism is back with a vengeance

ishesingle Fri 28-Feb-14 19:32:16

Spendy day for me. Had to get currency for school trip, got £100 worth, hope it is enough. Plus spent £15ish in Tescos on snacks, £2 on lunch, £15 getting my nails done (my payday treat which I refuse to give up), and £6 on some overpriced eliquid because I'm nearly out and forgot to place order online in time.

Tonight I have to pack, do some marking, set my cover work and get ready to leave early tomorrow morning. Realised I have nothing for dinner - just me here tonight so Chinese I think, just wish i had thought about that when I was in tesco.

Match is going to be expensive hmm

TalkinPeace Fri 28-Feb-14 19:37:49

just me here tonight so Chinese I think, just wish i had thought about that when I was in tesco
NO
I do not believe that you have nothing in the house to make into a nice supper

falling back on "order a takeaway" is why people get into debt

make an omelette
a hot salad
soup
LOOK at your cupboards and freezer and eat what you have

Possiblyorange Fri 28-Feb-14 19:39:47

themoneyone my hair compromise is going to be haircuts every 8 weeks rather than 6 weeks for the foreseeable. Not a massive change to many, but my hair has long been a big defining thing for me so it's a big compromise for me!

mum2fergus I have several times campaigned for getting rid of the tv entirely. Lead balloon would be an appropriate phrase here... grin

We have a ton of birthdays in March that I have realised I haven't budgeted enough for in my frightening figure above, including the nanny's (which I will feel the need to overcompensate for due to making her redundant). Also a 3yo and an 8yo. Cheap present ideas very welcome! I am good at sewing and have tons of fabric etc, so handmade ideas also possible.

TalkinPeace Fri 28-Feb-14 19:41:16

I pay for a haircut once every three years wink

Possiblyorange Fri 28-Feb-14 19:50:25

When I used to work in London pre-children I paid £90 a pop for a haircut in Sassoons. And I could afford it shockshock

puffylovett Fri 28-Feb-14 19:56:47

I have 3 inches of greying root currently bag lady grin

Hello all

Dp had long been desperate to budget and debt, I finally come round to the idea and start busting a gut trying to sort things out, and he tells me he's going to spend his newly paid off overdraft on a bargain ebay bike sad

Fair play, he really DOES need a bike, but having overspent last week by about £300 on heaven only lnows what, I'm feeling just a teensy bit raw at the mo!

(He probably won't actually buy it bless him)

Today is a fresh start. All my bills should now be taken care of, and I have taken cash out for the week. Monthly update -

Overdraft reduced to 1200
Cc1 500 paid off (1600 left)
Dh overdraft (200) paid off
60 off the other cc (4700 left)

Targets for this month - live on weekly cash
Reduce overdraft to 500
Use all my earnings to pay down the cards (hopefully about 500)

Welcome to newbies and so sorry to hear of your situation lisa123 sad

TalkinPeace Fri 28-Feb-14 19:57:10

sorry isshesingle that came out sounding harsher than I intended
BUT
if I'm on my own for an evening, it would never occur to me to phone for a takeaway.
when DH is away, the kids and I eat simply
on a special occasion (like DD being made a school prefect) we went out for a swift supper at the pub but it was menu restricted
phone-in takeaway is maybe once a month
same as eating out at a restaurant

even when DH works really hard (5 x 14 hour days and 2000 miles in a week) we tend to home cook
( he is currently dancing round the kitchen making pizza and waving a large knife around to "single ladies" wink )

Burma Fri 28-Feb-14 20:01:28

TalkinPeace I've just filled in your spreadsheet as my poor little peabrain couldn't work out the YNAB one and it is fab smile. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I copied it so as not to sully the original although I think someone else's figures are on there albeit just a few.

We have just made the classic mistake of spending a bonus before it was actually received - thought I had learnt that lesson a few years ago but clearly not hmm.

Holidays are our weakness blush.

Burma Fri 28-Feb-14 20:03:27

I agree re takeaway - if I'm on my own I would eat cereal and weird bits in the back of the cupboard.

Saying that we did buy fish and chips on the way home from parents' evening the other night as everyone was starving and exhausted and it was 9pm. Blimmin good it was too but of course £20 is a big part of the weekly food budget so only to be done once every now and then.

puffylovett Fri 28-Feb-14 20:03:58

I can't save that spreadsheet for some reason. I think my ancient laptop must be running too old a version of excel?

ishesingle Fri 28-Feb-14 20:04:10

TiP - no eggs, no veg/salad, no soup, in my cupboards I have some tinned peaches and some bread flour, in my fridge some margarine, a couple of slices of salami and half a tin of coconut milk from last weekend, and in the freezer some chicken pieces (for kids - I don't eat meat) and some frozen peas... shock

I meal plan religiously so I don't really carry surplus food and ran stuff down because I am going away tomorrow so will shop when I get back midweek. I do buy a few of the Aldi frozen pasta meals each month which steam in the microwave - they are cheap and good when I am here alone without the kids, but I ate them the last 2 nights so have none left.

The veggie dish I have from the Chinese is £4.60 total and is never ordered more than twice a month, it's in it's own category on ynab and budgeted for. If I have it tonight I just won't have it next Friday smile

Just sold 2 items on ebay for £15.70 and a DVD on Amazon for £2.30 (after their astronomical fees have been taken). Forgot I listed things last Friday, so that was a nice surprise grin

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