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Household income

(169 Posts)
GuernseyTeddy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:14:54

Just spent the morning cancelling mobile contract, car insurance, contact lenses and any other monthly expenses, ahead of my maternity allowance ending in Feb.

As of 16 feb I will have 0 money at all. All because DP is a higher rate tax payer. No child benefit, no tax credit. Nothing. Similarly because of DPs wage, I can't afford to go back to work as it would cost me money after childcare deductions due to not being eligible for tax credits.

Insane position where I'm being assessed on money that isn't mine.

vickibee Mon 16-Dec-13 11:17:36

are you entitled to childcare vouchers from your employer?

Going back part time to gove you some sanity even though you end up with little net income?

JanePurdy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:19:12

Er, so you don't have joint incomes? Suggest you start billing DP for childcare then.

GuernseyTeddy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:21:44

Tried the billing for childcare conversation but there is no money apparently - once CSA payments and season ticket deducted from salary, we only have enough to

GuernseyTeddy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:23:55

cover mortgage and bills, then just enough left for food and petrol.

So I'm somehow meant to clothe and feed the baby out of nowhere.

TheGhostOfPortoPast Mon 16-Dec-13 11:25:32

Did you not discuss this with him before?

GuernseyTeddy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:28:51

We did, but the money that was allocated to me for the children has now gone in CSA payments each month. 50/50 arrangement now changed to alternate weekends.

AnotherWorld Mon 16-Dec-13 11:28:58

Just about to post that Porto. Surely you'd have talked through your financial plans before deciding to start a family with your DP? Or at least in the 9 months you were pregnant for?

I don't know what to say. But I hope you find an answer.

JanePurdy Mon 16-Dec-13 11:29:12

So do you have joint finances and there is simply not enough money? Or is there enough money in his wage packet but he refuses to share it with you/the new baby & thinks you are responsible for your own costs?

Its not insane.

The fault here is how your household finances are set up into his and hers. If you live with and have children with a higher rate tax payer then you can't expect help off the state because 'his money is not yours'. When you have a child with someone the money is household money even if its not all in the same account.

You only say 'higher rate tax payer' but not by how much. He could be earning £200k for all we know.

How many children do you have yourself? Unless you are earning less than min wage, you will be better off after paying childcare, than not going back to work at all.

In the longrun you will be far better off going back to work rather than making yourself financially dependent on someone who wants to keep all his money for himself.

PeterParkerSays Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:37

If he's a higher rate tax payer, I'm not sure I'd believe him, sorry. Aren't CSA payments meant to reduce for other children when a new baby is born?

ChasingSquirrels Mon 16-Dec-13 11:30:42

You ARE entitled to child benefit, but if your partner earns more than £50k then part, or all depending on income, of it will be recovered through his tax liability.
This doesn't stop you from claiming it.

Clearly though there is more of an issue here, which you need to address together.

Why has the childcare arrangement for his children changed so drastically?

This seems to be the biggest issue of why your finances have changed.

comemulledwinewithmoi Mon 16-Dec-13 11:34:45

It sounds as if H doesnt see it as a joint problem. That is not how it works. You are going to need to get an evening or weekend job, childmind, start own business etc.

comemulledwinewithmoi Mon 16-Dec-13 11:36:10

Tbh, youre biggest problem is your Hs attitude to money.

wannabestressfree Mon 16-Dec-13 11:39:21

I don't mean this to sound nasty but why did you not talk about this pre having children?
Its a horrendous position to be in for you, beholden to someone who doesn't want you to be beholden to them. I would be going back to work and telling him what his half share of childcare is.
I don't envy you

You have split up? Doesn't that change things

jojane Mon 16-Dec-13 11:42:54

I just don't understand how people can have children but have separate finances? How do you decide who pays for what?
We have a joint account and had a joint account since way before we had children. All our money is joint and I spend whatever is needed on the family. Dh never spends anything!
His petrol is on company credit card and then personal miles are deducted from his salary each month, things like his gym and marvel graphic novels are on direct debit, I buy all food etc and whatever is needed for kids, soft pay , parties Xmas etc!
I work part time and bring home about a sixth of what he does after tax. But he recognises that I do the majority of childcare and housework and that is just a valuable contribution To the family as his financial contribution.

ShanghaiDiva Mon 16-Dec-13 11:46:27

the money is all household money and your dp as the current sole earner needs to provide for the entire family.

What monthly payments is your dp cancelling to pay for the most recent addition to his family?

alemci Mon 16-Dec-13 12:00:35

why don't you claim the CB and then he could pay the tax on it but at least you would have it in your bank account.

My DH and I have separate accounts and always have done but if I wanted anything I would put it on the credit card and then pay for part of it etc. we also have a joint account for bills.

also could you ebay some stuff and have a pay pal account.

wonkylegs Mon 16-Dec-13 12:08:38

My DH is a higher rate taxpayer, my new business currently earns nothing but the money that comes in is our money despite it currently only coming from one source.
If there isn't enough money coming in at the end of the day you need to look at the finances together. Look at outgoings, look at budgets and see what can be trimmed/juggled around.
If you have children together then it is clear that the household income pays for them even if at the moment that income only comes from one source.
If your DH can't see that then you need to discuss your relationship as that, I'm afraid rather than finances is what is wrong.

plus3 Mon 16-Dec-13 12:19:37

Sorry but it's you and a 'D'P....how are you & your child going to be penniless??
How are you in a relationship that allows him to pay for everything he needs, but leaves you with nothing?

I know it is written on here so many times, but I will never understand this.

LadyLapsang Mon 16-Dec-13 12:20:39

OP, you need to sit down together and go through your finances. Obviously your partner had existing financial commitments in the form of his children before you planned a child together and it's right he manages those commitments properly. As other say, in the long run you will be better off if you return to work, especially if he refuses to give you access to his earnings. Tell him you will need to claim child benefit unless he discusses this with you.

Anyexcuse Tue 17-Dec-13 06:42:40

Aside from all the previous good advice, why have you cancelled your car insurance? - I hope this means you've sold your car!

GuernseyTeddy Tue 17-Dec-13 14:45:16

I can't drive - the insurance was learner insurance and I haven't been able to have any lessons since my son was born. So no, not driving around without insurance! shock And yes, my car is now on the drive waiting to be sold.

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